tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4756387640551134005.post5921707763053786616..comments2024-03-13T13:21:53.956+02:00Comments on Amel's Realm: BoundariesAmelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16792921371964029469noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4756387640551134005.post-38544265799523487992007-10-07T11:21:00.000+03:002007-10-07T11:21:00.000+03:00Yeah, I suppose so, Crystal. And yeah, they're def...Yeah, I suppose so, Crystal. And yeah, they're definitely taking advantage of my friend. Unfortunately, the hubby always takes the side of his own parents and sister. :-(((Amelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16792921371964029469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4756387640551134005.post-44273775969741301532007-10-07T04:30:00.000+03:002007-10-07T04:30:00.000+03:00That's what I've been thinking. It might be that t...That's what I've been thinking. It might be that this thing usually happens in Asia (??) <BR/><BR/>Oh, that explains why...They're taking advantage of your friend, and the son (hubby) is just caught up in the middle.Choc Mint Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06258842426940547612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4756387640551134005.post-3024416205313673432007-10-06T19:57:00.000+03:002007-10-06T19:57:00.000+03:00Sindi: Yeah, but it's hard 'coz the guy doesn't ev...Sindi: Yeah, but it's hard 'coz the guy doesn't even tell the parents that his salary is now smaller than it used to be. <BR/><BR/>Choc Mint Girl: I wonder if Asians can relate more to this story than foreigners. It seems that you, Karen, and Mother Hen know more about this than others. <BR/><BR/>I forgot to mention that the guy's family may be doing that 'coz they think that the girl's parents are rich. Of course they have plenty of money (much much more than the guy's parents, but that doesn't mean that my friend wants to ask money from her parents after she gets married. That's the craziest part of this, I think.Amelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16792921371964029469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4756387640551134005.post-11964120177796840352007-10-06T09:36:00.000+03:002007-10-06T09:36:00.000+03:00I must say that I agree with Mother Hen, a classic...I must say that I agree with Mother Hen, a classic example. There are similar cases here in M'sia. Even amongst my relatives and it's quite frustrating. Most probably because the way they're brought up and what they believe in. <BR/><BR/>In my observation, some parents particularly older generations tend to have this kind of thinking, where they 'own' their children even after their children are married. I've heard many real life stories about how parents would say that they've gone through hard times but still they managed to raise their children, but when they are asking for money from their children, they feel like 'begging'. <BR/><BR/>I guess it all depends on the members of one's family to really sit down and discuss, to make each party understand the situation, compromise and be more open-minded. It will be difficult, but who knows, someday things might get better. ;)Choc Mint Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06258842426940547612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4756387640551134005.post-32792437647909039222007-10-06T01:29:00.000+03:002007-10-06T01:29:00.000+03:00I think maybe his parent are bing just a tad bit s...I think maybe his parent are bing just a tad bit selfish. They need to realize that everyone goes through a time of hardship. Your friend's time is now and the parents need to be a little more understanding.Sindihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10374512357245821417noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4756387640551134005.post-31097503041331585112007-10-05T21:08:00.000+03:002007-10-05T21:08:00.000+03:00Fish: I can't imagine how stressful it is for my f...Fish: I can't imagine how stressful it is for my friend. It's making me frustrated just listening to her stories. <BR/><BR/>No, this is gladly not a cultural thing, but I know there are other parents like that. I don't know how his parents were raised, though. <BR/><BR/>Well, I managed to buy some stuff for food next week at a reasonable price, so I'm pretty happy with that. Plus chips were on a discount. YAYYYYY!!! ;-DAmelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16792921371964029469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4756387640551134005.post-5008261456252560952007-10-05T20:25:00.000+03:002007-10-05T20:25:00.000+03:00That sounds like an incredibly stressful situation...That sounds like an incredibly stressful situation. Is it cultural or are your friend's huaband's parents more demanding than most? Perhaps they were expected to provide for their parents in the same way and don't see why things should be any different for their children.<BR/><BR/>Hope you got some great bargains at the grocery store :-)<BR/><BR/>Have a lovely weekend, Fishfishwithoutbicyclehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12071691302805126529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4756387640551134005.post-38248649496127553472007-10-05T19:36:00.000+03:002007-10-05T19:36:00.000+03:00Karen: It's good that you can borrow money for col...Karen: It's good that you can borrow money for college. As you know, Indo govt. isn't rich enough to do that. <BR/><BR/>Yeah, living on $200 a month in Indo is also tough for two people. <BR/><BR/>Indo still has a VERY VERY VERY long way to go. It's kinda sad if I compare it with Finland's many benefits (kids, unemployment, etc.). Oh well...but different countries have different problems.Amelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16792921371964029469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4756387640551134005.post-52039990119453132232007-10-05T19:26:00.000+03:002007-10-05T19:26:00.000+03:00First, I'm in Sinagpore. so it's really terribly s...First, I'm in Sinagpore. so it's really terribly sunny here.<BR/><BR/>Second, this is kind of what my blog's about and what our govt is trying very hard not to get into. <BR/><BR/>In the old days, more children meant more hands to work on farms. People had kids because kids were their financial plans. You bring up a kid, and then expect the kid to look after you when you are old. That's why most financial books recommend you save for your retirement FIRST and let kids borrow to go to college if there isn't enough money. You can't borrow for retirement ! <BR/><BR/>I know a cleaning lady in this situation. Her son can only afford to give his parents about $200 a month. You can't live on $200 a month in Singapore. So at age 60, with no skills having been a housewife all her life, she now has to go out to work.<BR/><BR/>That's why I'm very much for increasing financial education so retirement can be a reality. And the Singapore govt is currently trying its best to sort out what to do with an aging population, and how to avoid a squeeze on the generation in the middle with aging parents and young dependent children. Obviosuly govt doesn't want to land up with the bill to support them ! The pension scheme went out years ago.Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05241531415383301568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4756387640551134005.post-34262473024342925102007-10-05T19:02:00.000+03:002007-10-05T19:02:00.000+03:00Mother Hen: Two sides? Hmmm...I never thought of t...Mother Hen: Two sides? Hmmm...I never thought of this story that way. Let me think about it first. So you think it's a classic example? That means you've already heard so many stories like this. Interesting!!!Amelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16792921371964029469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4756387640551134005.post-18136044059407796942007-10-05T18:59:00.000+03:002007-10-05T18:59:00.000+03:00What is the other side to this story? Somehow I t...What is the other side to this story? Somehow I think they are 2 sides. The society today operates on polarized opposites. And this is a classic example.The Real Mother Henhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13226727195920798035noreply@blogger.com