In Between "Two Worlds"

When I was a child, I used to think of myself being in between two worlds: the real world and my imaginary world. I considered my imaginary world as a place where I could run away to whenever I needed to. I even imagined myself standing in the middle of two worlds where I had one foot on the real world and another foot on the imaginary world and I was happy to be able to stand like that between those two worlds. They helped me cope with life, so to speak.

Recently I read a blog post that reminds me of this. She moved to NY from the UK and she's now been living in NY for years. She stated that she would never become a true blue New Yorker, but she also felt that she didn't "belong" in the UK anymore. She said the feeling didn't make her feel troubled, but it just felt weird.

I can relate to that. After having lived in Finland for almost 4 years, what I consider "normal" has changed. When I first moved to Finland, my perspective and what I considered "normal" was still very Indonesian, but now I know more about "the norms" in this place and what people do and what people expect from the government, etc. I don't feel that I ever want to live in Indo again (though if I REALLY have to and there's no other choice, I know I can make it), but I'll never become a true blue Finnish person anyway even if I have a Finnish citizenship later on.

Speaking of this topic, I've always been a "foreigner" whether I was in Indo or in Finland, so I'm used to that. I'm used to being the "minority" 'coz I'm a non-native person. Now I feel like I'm in between two worlds again in this real world: between Finland and Indo.

It doesn't matter, though, even though I'll never become a native my entire life (roughly speaking, even if I move to China 'coz my grandparents are Chinese, they won't consider me as a native 'coz I can't speak the language), I know where I belong. First and foremost, God accepts me the way I am and loves me. Secondly, I've got my family and plenty of friends who accept me the way I am. That's enough. Isn't that what we all need? To be accepted and loved just the way we are, whoever we are, wherever we are?

Anyhow, here are some more winter pictures I took yesterday...

First pic: "snowy flowers" he he...it was around -17'C or -18'C yesterday.


I just LOVE LOVE LOVE the shadow/sunlight patches on the snow...don't you?

Weekend Snaps

I haven't been doing anything much in the blogosphere lately, 'coz I've spent more time reading Finnish at home. I'm close to finishing one children's book and I still have TONS of Finnish books to read. YIIIPPPPPPIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!

Anyway, yesterday I had some luck with a hare...but before I showed you the pics of the hare, I've promised Blur Ting that I'll take some pics of my MIL's flower plants being prepared inside the house before being taken out later on when the weather is warm enough. It's been around 8-10'C when it's sunny outside these days, but at nights it can still be 0'C. I'm afraid I don't know the names of these flower plants, but I'll take more pics when the flowers bloom, OK? HI HI HI...






Look at how wet it is outside when all the snow around the yard starts to melt!!!


Yesterday in-laws also needed help with some wood, so R2 was the one who had to be "Sodankylä's Chainsaw Killer" HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...




Last but not least, here are two pics of the hare. I've also taken a short video clip of it, but haven't converted it and uploaded it yet, so maybe I'll show it to you people later, OK?



Notice that it's changing its colour to prepare itself for summer. It'll be brown in summer and pure white in winter so that it won't be easy to track it. A few weeks ago when my MIL showed me two hares playing about outside in the neighbour's yard, I almost couldn't see them, especially if they weren't moving. Since that day I'd been HOPING that I could take some good pics of just one of them and my hope came true yesterday HUE HE HE HE HE...


Wish you've had a FAB weekend, friends! I have a slight headache, so I'm going to blog-hop only later. Tomorrow evening we'll have our study group, so I should prepare to find some topics to talk about in Finnish. Last Friday I tried this kind of study group with only one friend and we also talked about what we could do. It was good practise anyway! :-D

And earlier today I went to a free lunch for foreigners, so I didn't have much time to do any blog-hopping today. Unfortunately not all my friends could make it, but the local priest came to our table to eat and talk to us, so it was good practise for me too he he he...The food was great, too!!! And we got some ice-cream as dessert HO HO HO HO HO HO...;-D

3BT: Random Days

1. The concerned look on the postman's face as he gave me the big package. He was worried that I might not be able to carry it all the way to the library (or maybe he thought I was going to take it home). Such a thoughtful postman!!!

2. I decided to get the daily Helsinki newspaper from the PO by bike and it was an ABSOLUTELY GREAT decision as I had to bring that big package with me. I'm GLAD I bought two ropes for my bike, so I could just put the package behind me safely with the ropes.


3. I groaned to hubby, "Honnneeeeyyyy...I want some pancakes, but I'm too lazy to make them." A few hours later after our naps, he went to the kitchen to make them HO HO HO HO...I'm a LUCKY SPOILED GIRL!!!




4. There's a gathering for foreigners and their families in Sodankylä this Sunday in one of the churches and they offer free lunch. The idea is to make the foreigners feel at home here and also to make them meet the locals. I've called the woman in charge to book my place already. We'll see how it goes!!! This is the first time I've ever known such a gathering. WOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!


5. I'm halfway done a children's novel (Finnish novel) that I bought in Rovaniemi. 




6. I fell off my bike the other day because I went too fast (with gear 3) on a snowy stretch of road, but I didn't hurt myself badly. Phew!!! And nobody saw me HI HI HI HI HI HI...so I was saved from any embarrassment!!! 

SO MUCH FUUUUUUUUUNNNN!!!!

Just got back home after a 4,5 hour talk with my new friend HO HO HO HO...We went to a cafe and just kept on talking and talking and talking. The sun's still shining SO brightly outside, but it's getting cooler now (around 9'C). We made a deal to meet each other again next week and see a movie together as there's going to be the famous Midnight Sun Film Festival next week.

YIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! ;-D

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It felt like being with one of my best friends again, talking about anything and everything he he he he...I'll keep you guys posted later he he he...

Let me change the topic now he he...the other day I had a talk with my Thai friend and she said that her friend in Thailand called her a few days beforehand as she had financial problem and she was asking for her help. My Thai friend said that it was the "common" thing for her friends to think that she is now "rich" since she's married to a foreigner.

I understood her words perfectly. There's still this "stigma" that foreigners have much much money, so if you're married to one, then it means you are well-off. WROONNNGGG!!!

My Thai friend said that when she was in a HUGE financial trouble years and years back, nobody would help her, not even the friend who was asking for her help the other day. Yeah...nice, isn't it? And whenever she goes back to Thailand, some people would ask for souvenirs and other stuff due to that stigma. Ayayayyyyyy...

Anyway, I'm EXHAUSTED, so now I'm going to rest and relax and maybe go to sleep early he he he...I'll blog-hop tomorrow, OK? Have a WONDERFUL weekend, my friends, and sleep tight tonight!

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I'm Glad

There's one thing I'd love to share with you all. Even though I was a bit sad that I couldn't be there for my brother's wedding, in a way I'm also glad that I wasn't there. Why? Because it was a wedding party and I knew already what would happen if I could be there alone.

First of all, many people would ask, "How's life in Finland? Are you pregnant already?"

Second of all, they'll continue by asking, "Where's your husband? Why isn't he here?"

Yada yada yada yada...and I'd feel sick and tired trying to explain everything over and over again. For some reason, I think most people think that marrying a foreigner means that I'll be very secured financially.

Just the other day when I was talking to one of my best friends online (the one that didn't have internet connection at home, so she had to go back to her previous house to use her brother's computer), she asked when I was planning on having a kid. And thus we talked about money. I told her that I wanted to have some savings before I had a kid. After all, even though I'll get some benefit when I'm pregnant and after I give birth, I don't know how much it'd really cost to have a baby here. I don't know how much it costs to buy all those necessary baby stuff (though I'll try to find used clothing, as well).

Plus I told her that since we had loaned some money from the bank to buy a new used car, then we couldn't really save. At first she probably thought that my hubby's income was SO huge. Of course my hubby's income is huge if it's converted to rupiah, but then again the taxes here are huge, as well. The only difference is that the taxes you pay to the government here won't be corrupted and you can live decently when you're retired without having to worry about money. But still living on one income in Finland doesn't mean that we can have a vacation abroad every summer. In fact, we have to be really careful with our expenses. That's why I'm SO happy that I can start making money online.

The problem is if even my best friend had that kind of thought, what about everybody else in Indonesia? How can I explain this to everybody back in Indo who probably thinks that we can afford anything?

One thing I dread of when coming back home is the questions I wrote above. I know I don't have to explain anything to them, but it's just bothering me to know that they have all those questions. Maybe when I come back to Indo one day (without a child and without my hubby), I should print out two different explanations on leaflets and then if someone asks something, I'll simply take one and give it to them HA HA HA HA HA HA...Wouldn't it be grand? Yes, I might just try this if I need to HUE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...;-D

I don't know why the pregnancy question bothers me A LOT these days. MAYBE it has something to do with the fact that I DO want one already, but I know this is just not the right time. If God chooses to give me one now, I'll feel HAPPY, but still I want to focus on studying Finnish first before I get busy with my baby. I reckon that once the baby's there, I won't be able to focus on studying Finnish, right?

I've told my Mom about this and she's fine with this he he he he...HIP HIP HURRAY for my Mom!!!! She even encouraged me to save money and she said that she'd been praying to God to open doors for me to be able to get some income. Bless her!!! ;-D But anyway, it seems to me that she can't wait to have a grandchild from my brother HUA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...Ahem...;-D

OK, I have to go to the supermarket again 'coz I forgot to buy some spinachhhhhh. I'm gonna make lasagna and I want to make mine with spinach. Hubby doesn't like spinach so I'm gonna make two batches of lasagna he he he he...;-D