This is going to be another rambling post as I'm not super inspired right now, but there've been some things on my mind that I'd love to write, as well he he he...1. When I woke up this morning, it was half white again. It's been snowing on and off since this morning. When the larger snowflakes fall down in rapid succession, it makes me feel as though the sky has shed some dandruff hi hi hi hi...Yeah, I know it's a yucky analogy, but it DOES make me feel that way ha ha ha...I think snow is MARVELLOUS!!!! Though my Brit friend said that maybe after I had lived here for a while, I'd get sick and tired of snow HE HE HE HE...God, PLEASE let me keep this enthusiasm all my life, I'm BEGGING YOU!!! ^__________________^
2. Frasypoo's story entitled "Teenage Angst" took me back in time. Ever since I started going to school, everybody kept on giving me this "clever girl" title. My neighbours, my schoolmates' parents, my relatives. I don't know what it is about me that gives off that kind of aura. For me, personally, it's a burden. Especially when one or two teachers decided to focus on me for some reason. They expected MORE from me. I always felt bad whenever they had that kind of expectation from me, especially if other students realized the teacher's attention. NOOOOOOOOO!!! I HATE being in the spotlight!!! I always wanna get rid of all those bright lights away from me...awaaayyyyy he he he...
However, I don't mind at all being considered a "bookworm" (most of my life it's been one of my nicknames). I love misleading people (well, not on purpose, 'coz basically they misled themselves by judging a book from its cover he he he he...).
In Junior High School, that particular school had one special system for us. There were about 6 classes per grade (so there'd be for example classes 1A, 1B, 1C, 1D, 1E, 1F) and there would be around 40 kids per classroom. Yeah, lots of students indeed!!! That particular school ranked the kids from one to 240 and grouped them according to their ranks on the last semester of each grade. So, if your rank is 30 at the end of the second semester of the first grade, then you'll probably be grouped in the first classroom, along with the other "clever" kids. If your rank is 230, then you'll probably be grouped in the last classroom. Everybody knew this at that school. The first grade I belonged to the second classroom, whereas on the second and third grade, I belonged to the first classroom. So what? Just because I got good grades doesn't mean that I know EVERYTHING about ANYTHING, right?
Good thing about this kind of grouping is that everybody in my classroom was considered "bookworms" by other students in other classrooms, so we were fine being "bookworms". That helped us a lot when we went to High School and university. My closest friends and I didn't mind being an "unpopular" group. Mind you that in our schools back then there weren't really a distinct separation, though. So don't imagine a scene from any Hollywood teenage movies he he he...Since we had to wear uniforms, so there was no fashion competition nor competition about "who's got laid already?". Teenage pregnancy was and still is a taboo in my country. So we're "safe" at least in those departments, though my friend says that there are more free sex happening in High Schools in Indonesia these days then back in our days.
Anyway, I just wanna say that I don't mind being considered a bookworm. One funny incident happened in university and I would NEVER forget that. My campus friends and I decided to flunk out of skip out a certain class back then and one girl who belonged to the same class as we were, upon seeing us leave the building towards the parking lot, screamed, "What? You're not going to come to class, Amel? Hey, people, Amel is flunking out of skipping out the class!" She made it into such a big deal that I couldn't help laughing he he he he... (side note: LS has just made me realize that I'd mixed up the skipping out with flunking out. THANKS A LOT, LS, for the correction!!!)
Well, I did flunk skip out a few classes with my campus friends 'coz the classes weren't that important, but we never did it too often 'coz after all, we couldn't be absent for more than 25% of the whole semester. Otherwise they wouldn't let us have the exams he he he...
I guess for me, I prefer being underestimated to being overestimated. I just don't like the feeling of being crushed by someone's expectation of me. I do like getting confirmations that I've been doing something right or well, but I've experienced some teachers or lecturers focusing too much on me that it made me feel totally uncomfortable. It stifled me!!! Let me be free from that burden, please he he he he he...Gladly now I'm done with my studies. ;-D
How about you? What do you feel or react when you're underestimated or when you're being overestimated? Any specific experiences?
3. Here are two prewedding pics that my brother sent me the other day he he he...He's got a new haircut and his girlfriend's also dyed her hair he he he...The pics are small 'coz he resized them. He's still using a modem so if he sends too many BIG pics, it's gonna cost a lot for him (esp. the phone bill!!!).
I can't wait for next March when my friend comes back home to Indonesia. I've asked my brother to burn his prewedding and wedding CD/video for me and then give them to my friend so that she can send them to me from Germany HE HE HE HE HE...It's cheaper and safer that way! ;-D YIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAA!!!!
I was going to write another topic, but this morning out of the blue I felt compelled to write this one first (I had jotted down 4 other ideas to elaborate as different posts). My brother is 2 years younger than me. We are two different worlds, yet we never had a real fight. Of course when we were kids, we used to fight (you know how kids are), but even then we never had any big fights. He used to follow me everywhere when we were kids. I love the great outdoors (read: I LOVED going out of the house to play with my neighbours after my homework was done), whereas he's always been a homebody.
He's a real charmer (friendly smile), he has LOADS of friends, and LOTS of girls like him. He has a way with them. The first time a girl kissed him was when he was in Kindergarten, can you believe it? He always blushes now whenever we mention the story to his girlfriend. LOL!!!
My Mom used to be confused with the many girls who'd call him and even send him cards and packages. Some of those girls were REALLY aggressive!!! Now my Mom's glad that he's found the love of his life and that they'll get married this December. I remember that there'd be girls from other High Schools who called him and asked him to meet them someplace. They claimed that they'd heard about him from their mutual friend who went to the same High School as my brother did. Amazing, isn't it?
I never envied his charm (gladly). I've always been the bookworm. At the university, through a close friend of mine, I got to know lots of other friends and we kinda hung around together a lot. After they got to know the "real" me, I asked them what they thought about me when they first saw or met me. I've always been quiet when I meet new people. I want to "test the waters", so to speak. I'm not a good ice-breaker, but if the person I meet is pretty talkative, then I'll have no problem. *grin*
Anyway, wanna know what they said about me? They said that they were shocked after getting to know the real me. Here are some things they said came to their minds when they first saw or met me, "You're a fridge. You look so cool (fridge-cool, not "cool" cool). You're a rock. You're a bookworm. It seems that you're the type of geek who studies hard every day." I giggled non-stop when I heard their answers.
Since then, I considered it my luck that people had a "distorted" view of me. It wasn't that I misled them on purpose. It's just that I can't possibly show every side of me to a stranger. That'd be too much. And I find that it's an advantage for me, as well. Let the blind be blind. I won't correct their view of me. If they don't want to dig deeper into the real me, then so be it. It's their loss, not mine. And I shall giggle happily knowing how wrong they are. *grin*
Back to my brother and me. When we were kids, we used to play on my parents' bed. One of the "games" he loved so much was when I pulled him across the bed (diagonally) by the ankles (he was still smaller than me back then, so it was an easy feat for me). He'd giggle and laugh and ask me to do it again and again and again. I LOVED doing it. It was priceless to see the glee in his eyes. Such wonderful memories!!!
Then during teenage years, before he had a girlfriend, he used to ask me to escort him to the malls to find a shirt or a pair of pants or shoes with him. Boy, it made me feel PROUD to be his big sister. It made me feel useful. It made me feel trusted. I kinda felt sad when he turned to his girlfriend later on, since it used to be "my task", but I'm happy that he's found a GOOD, THOUGHTFUL, WONDERFUL girl to be his wife.
I remember one time he took me to a faraway place to treat me. It was a special treat. NOW I remember why he took me there!!! He had been going there with his girlfriend and he knew I had been wanting to go there. So, it was TRULY special since he did it deliberately by spending time with me. We went to the restaurant on his motorcycle. The journey took around 40 minutes one-way. My back was hurting when we got back, but it was one of the things I'll NEVER forget. I was SO touched that he did that for ME!!!
My brother's also a natural musician. When we were kids, I took an English course, whereas he took an organ course. He stopped the course eventually for lack of interest (even though he won an award once in a competition). Then in High School I wanted to learn how to play the guitar, so I got a guitar for my birthday. Then I took a private course, but I realized that I wasn't really musical, so I stopped after a while. Now gladly my brother's taken up the guitar (he can just listen to songs and learn to flick his guitar just through listening!!! His ex organ teacher used to say that my brother had sharp ears). He also bought himself a bass guitar since there was already a lead guitar player at church. So nowadays he's a guitar bass player at his church. His girlfriend is a singer at the same church. Great combo, eh? *wink*
I'm SO proud of my brother. During the past few years, he's truly grown into a man. I was shocked a few times already by listening to his wisdom. It's shocking for me 'coz he used to be my "younger" brother, but nowadays I'm not so sure anymore. He's grown SO much.
In one email, he said he missed teasing me. Gladly now he has a new "victim" to tease, i.e. his girlfriend. LOL!!! Yeah, he's such a tease that once when he was in Elementary School, the teacher asked my Mom to come and meet her. She said that my brother didn't finish his task she'd given him as he kept on moving from one table to another to tease the other kids, so she punished him. LOL!!! Yep, that's who he is. Such a tease!!!
I MISS him, too!!! I know for a fact that he felt burdened to take care of my parents once he knew I was going far, far away. He took that responsibility, God bless his heart! I'm just glad that I have him as my brother.
