Sunday, February 28, 2010
I've changed my password and deleted everybody in my address book (after making a copy in my HD). I don't want to have to delete my yahoo account if I don't have to 'coz I've got plenty of important things stored there, but do let me know if any of you receive any more spam emails later on, OK?
However, I'm not going to link my yahoo mailbox to my blogs for some time, until I know that everything's OK. Anyway, I'll blog-hop sometime this week. Today R2 and I cleaned up the snow in the yard and R2 cleaned some snow from our roof. I took some pics and short video clips of him up on the roof, but I'll share with you later he he...
I APOLOGIZE to everybody who's ever received spam mails from me. I'm trying to get to the bottom of this and I've changed all my blog settings so that the email address is no longer my yahoo address. For the time being, just disregard any emails from my yahoo address, esp. the ones with no subject line.
I'm really PISSED!!! I'm thinking of deleting all the people in my yahoo contact list (I've changed the password for that email address), but first I need to write all of them down just in case I need any. THANK YOU for your understanding.
Friday, February 26, 2010
I went in and she asked me how long I'd stayed in Finland and what kind of trainings I had done beforehand and if I had any experience working with kids and then she asked me if I had brought the paperwork from the employment office. I said no, 'coz I wasn't even sure they wanted my help, but I said I could go to the employment office ASAP to get it.
Then she took me around the place and the different classrooms and introduced me to everybody. I almost don't remember their names anymore 'coz it was just too much info and I was in a daze ha ha ha ha ha...
But anyway, after the short introduction and some brief info about what I should be doing, I went to the employment office ASAP 'coz I knew their lunch hour was from 11-12, so I had to finish everything BEFORE then so that I didn't have to go back home first and go back there again, but the employment officer took time to do my data and stuff, so I spent more time there than I thought I would.
Then I walked back to the daycare as fast as I could (I arrived back there at around 10.30), but realized she was with a guest (somebody who was going to fix some things in the daycare), so I had to wait. By the time we finished signing the papers, it was already 10.45, so I had to half-run to the employment office when it was -20'C outside (beautiful sunny day, though) and I was out of breath in no time 'coz it's harder to breathe when it's that cold outside...managed to get inside the employment office at 10.55. PHEW!!!
So all the paperwork is done and I can start right away on Monday as a helper there. I saw plenty of kids in the classroom where I'd be helping out today and I even saw one of them crying (they're not too small kids, probably around 5-6 years old) he he he he...so I think it's gonna be hard work, which is good 'coz then I won't be bored. We'll see how I fare in helping kids in a Finnish environment he he...I'm sure there are SO many things to learn, 'coz I haven't got my own kids PLUS I don't know the "things" or "clothes" kids use/play with or wear here - of course I've seen the ads and I've seen kids, but I've got to help them put them on and take them off and stuff and it's gonna be interesting hi hi hi hi...
One thing I've gotta remember is to tell my immediate superior (and the employment office) about our 1-week April trip. I tried telling it to the boss today, but she told me to tell my immediate superior later on 'coz I guess she's the one in charge of the workers' schedule daily. Ahhhh...it's good to have something to do for the next 3 months.
I went to the supermarket from the employment office and walked home and arrived back home at around 11.45. Now gonna have lunch and perhaps later on I'll bake something and then I'll surely blog-hop he he...
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Last night I had a talk with a friend who's out of her comfort zone - she quit her job after being there for 9 years and now she wants to try applying to be a teacher. She's never done that before and she's like a fish out of water, esp. when she realized that some teachers in the school had studied abroad and some of them are even native speakers. While talking to her, I realized this:
While talking to this friend last night, I realized that we have the tendency to downplay our own abilities or even our own potential due to FEAR. We fear the unknown, we are afraid of looking like fools in a new environment where we don't know how well we can handle the pressure/challenges 'coz we have never been there. If I tell her about my insecurities, she'll tell me about the good sides I have to encourage me and if she tells me about her insecurities, I'll also do the same thing...but when do we become our own best friend? When do we pat ourselves on the back and inject ourselves with good, positive thoughts when we jump into an unknown zone? When do we stop making excuses about our lack of abilities and just DO IT?
Another thing I realize during our chat was that we sometimes care too much about what other people think and that puts a HUGE burden on our backs already EVEN before we try doing something new.
It's easy for us to be intimidated when we're in a new place and we look around the place and we see other people shining like "diamonds" and we feel so dirty, grimy, lackluster and we wonder if we can shine at all. I want to STOP feeling intimidated and just DO IT. I want to STOP comparing myself with others and if I'm given a chance to try, I want to just DO IT and see how far I can go. If I find myself not liking that particular field and not being good at it, at least I know that it's not where I belong and I can just try to find something else which would be more suitable for me.
I WANT to STOP making excuses for myself. I want to give myself a break for being a novice, for not knowing anything much, for making mistakes. I want to treat myself like I treat my own best friend. I want to give myself a pat on the back simply for trying and smile at my own reflection. You go, girl!!!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
1. I want to say something in English, but my brain only comes up with the object or the meaning of the word in my brain and I struggle to find the English term.
2. More often than not, my brain can only remember the Indonesian term of the word, though sometimes my brain can only produce the image of the object without even remembering the Indonesian term.
3. Sometimes my brain can only remember the Finnish word, though other times it remembers both the Indonesian and Finnish word without remembering the English word.
Of course in most cases in the end I can still come up with the English word, but it takes (a much longer) time for my brain to search for that word - whereas when I just moved here, that word would mostly be the first word that popped up in my head 'coz I had been mostly thinking in English.
Due to the fact that Finnish pronunciation is more similar to Indonesian pronunciation, I also had some bits of trouble after doing the training in the library last year 'coz I realized that my tongue had reverted to "Indo/Finnish" - e.g. when I tried saying some specific English words, the pronunciation sounded more like "Indo/Finnish". I was SHOCKED!!!
To those of you who know and use at least two foreign languages in daily life, how do you make sure that you still nurture the ability to use those languages equally without letting the other one suffer? Of course it'd help if I get to meet different people regularly equally - meaning where I get to interact with different people purely in Finnish and purely in English regularly, but 'coz that's not the case, I fear that my English ability has suffered greatly (esp. compared to the time when I was at the uni, when I was still actively learning about grammar and stuff).
That's my dilemma now. I don't want to completely use Finnish with R2 'coz then I get less chance to practise my English, but I DO need to use my Finnish with him anyway. I've tried forcing myself to think in Finnish every now and then (even if it means I only think of some short phrases or 1-2 short sentences), but that means that those times I usually spend thinking in English have now been converted to Finnish. It would help if I start thinking in Finnish AND also translating those thoughts in English, but that takes time and energy...or maybe I should try translating all my English posts to Finnish? *gasp* That'd definitely be so tiring he he...
Anyway, I'm just trying to find the best way to balance myself inside this bowl of mixed languages that sometimes frustrates me. I have no problem keeping my Indonesian ability intact 'coz it's my mother tongue. It's my English ability that I'm worried about. I want to keep nurturing my English AND Finnish ability - and if possible I want to get better at both. Oh well...we'll see how it goes...
Monday, February 22, 2010
How do they know that it's a flash forward? 'Coz there are some people who remember seeing the calendar in their flash forward. However, after some investigations, turns out that there are some people who didn't black out during those minutes (I don't know yet why this happens) and there are also some people who don't see anything during their black outs.
Those people who don't see anything feel that there's a chance that they might be dead already by then. One of them is engaged to a beautiful woman, but after the black out, he's confused 'coz he feels that he can't fight "fate". After all, he finds out that somebody else has a flash forward where she witnesses his death. How are you supposed to go on living after getting such information?
Another person "sees" himself being back to be a drunkard in his flash forward. This guy's wife sees herself with another man in their mutual house in her flash forward. They both finally confide to each other about what they see in their flash forwards, so the relationship between them is now tensed and there's less and less trust as the tension grows.
One person is actually about to kill himself when the black out happens. In his vision, he sees himself with a beautiful woman 6 months ahead and thus when he gains consciousness again, he decides that life is beautiful (or will be beautiful in 6 months' time), so he's determined to find that woman in his flash forward.
Another man sees something disturbing in his flash forward, so he decides to end it right then and there by killing himself so that he won't cause grief to those people he sees in his flash forward.
My question is: What's the use of knowing the future then? If the future you "see" is good, then it'll probably do you good (that's if you believe it and you're not skeptical), especially if you're stuck in a rut and in the flash forward you know that things can change in months or years. But if it's bad, won't it ruin everything, esp. if you have a fatalistic POV?
It's interesting to watch those people with different personalities handle this "flash forwards", though. :-))) I myself think that there's no just one linear path to the future. People CAN change and there are so many different factors involved in one's life...the only sure thing that'll happen to everyone is death.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Yesterday as usual we went to my in-laws' and I brought a new pack of playing cards. You see, lately we've been playing a new card game which requires using the Jokers. However, 'coz we hadn't used them in other games, you could tell which the Jokers were among the other cards 'coz the back of those two cards still had very vivid colours compared to the others. That was why when I went to a bookstore the other day and saw some playing cards on a discount, I decided to buy a pack. The game became MUCH more interesting (and frustrating) 'coz it was MUCH harder for us to think of which tactics to use to win the game.
In the beginning of the game, BIL even accused me of having voodooed the cards or something HA HA HA HA HA HA...He even said he'd throw them away due to frustration hi hi...but in the end he said they were good cards and they made the game even harder to win. ;-D
Anyway, here are my weekend pics:
1st pic: LOVE it when the sun hits the treetops he he...
2nd pic: Bought three bulbs of tulips for MIL for Valentine's Day and yesterday I realized that they had bloomed, BUT I never thought they would be HUGE tulips he he...
3rd pic: The flowers from top.
4th pic: My tongue after eating berry dessert (blueberry, strawberry, and cloudberry)
5th pic: Due to the cold weather outside, the living room felt colder than normal, so R2 snuggled up on the sofa in his parents' house and covered himself with a blanket. I think he looks SO cute here he he...
I'll blog-hop later today or tomorrow. I have to think of some ideas to write again (to participate in another writing contest) and the deadline is the end of this week, so I have to move quickly HE HE HE HE HE...Hope everybody is enjoying themselves this weekend! Stay warm, people!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
2. I got a special homemade housewarming gift. I'll take a pic of it later on when I've put it up. ;-D
3. Today was "our first time" in the sauna, if you know what I mean. *wink wink* Naughty naughty! ;-D
4. Lying down on the sofa with hubby after sauna (after hubby scrubbed my body with loofah and soap HO HO HO HO...).
5. MIL saying to me: "My little daughter, I'm glad you exist" and me saying to her back: "I'm also glad you exist."
6. Fresh orange that I ate after sauna (I got thirsty)...mmmm...
7. Kicking the ass of my own worst bully AKA myself before she can shoot me with negative phrases, sentences, adjectives.
8. 70% done reading a teenage novel (in Finnish). Only 30% left to go. YAAAAAAAYYY!!!!
9. Crispy spring rolls that I made today in the oven instead of deep-frying them (the first time I tried doing this, they wouldn't go crisp - I think 'coz the filling was too wet or something).
10. Knowing that some people are praying for me (close friends and blogger friends and some relatives).
11. I've got an interview for another training place (read: don't mistake this for a real job) coming up next Friday. WISH ME LUCK!!! I have NO experience whatsoever in this type of place (daycare), so I don't know what the boss is going to ask me...gasp...but at least this is something to look forward to he he...
Monday, February 15, 2010
A belated Happy Valentine's Day and Chinese New Year! I've had some blissful days of not thinking about anything much and then had some soul-searching sessions where I finally found out the root of my problems (I'll tell you later after I'm finished with the post, but right now I don't want to write about that yet - suffice it to say that I had a period of being-my-own-worst-bully where I had too much irrational guilt) and I'm starting the healing process he he he...
The house is now neater than before, though we still have to do many things, but at least we've put the darkened rolled curtains in both bedrooms and all the rooms have curtains now. Yesterday R2 was busy fixing the washing machine hose 'coz ours was too short, so he had to buy an extension, so only yesterday we could start washing our dirty laundry ha ha ha...
Here are some more pics (yeah, we should buy another one of that long green carpet if we want to match it up, but it's rather expensive, so we'll just wait):
This is the computer room now:
LOVE how the sun shines through the kitchen window...and in the morning it shines through the living room window. LOVE it!!!
Look how thick the snow is! It snowed so much again on Saturday night and last night. Just now I cleaned up the snow again and it was getting hard to find places to "dump" the pile of snow in the yard he he...
The "freezing" swing set. Can't wait to try it on when all the snow's gone he he...
I've also been cooking and baking a lot 'coz I have so much time to kill. As you all know I'm waiting for an entrepreneur course, but it keeps on being postponed. Last year when they advertised it, it was supposed to start the beginning of this year, but it's already mid February and they're postponing it again until spring. 'Coz the house is almost in complete order now, I don't want to stay home all day, so I'm looking for another training place. Wish me luck, OK?
When it comes to my FIL...he is getting worse (slowly but surely). I can see it every time we visit them on Saturdays. On the bright side, though, there's a nurse who comes to visit them once a month to evaluate his condition and to find out what kind of tools he might need. So far he's got free diapers from the government and also some handles (you know, the kind of door handle near the toilet seat?) and also another handle near the toilet and another one on the side of the bed 'coz it's been hard for him to get up after lying down and MIL has a bad back, so it's hard for her to help him get up (also 'coz of their height difference - their height difference is the same as mine and Arttu's: about 32 cm). For those of you who pray, please pray for MIL to be given the strength and peace of mind (no self-blaming).
OK, now it's time for me to blog-hop a little. ;-D
Monday, February 08, 2010
May the sun bring you new energy every day.
May the moon softly restore you by night.
May the rain wash away your worries.
May the breeze blow new strength into your being.
May you walk gently through the world
and know its beauty all the days of your life.
And enjoy this upbeat song he he...If for some reason the video doesn't show 'coz I've had trouble viewing youtube lately, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DM2177pHMT0
Friday, February 05, 2010
2. Hubby's moist (hairy) thighs and feet after I rubbed some lotion on them. The skin looked splendidly healthy!
3. Trying out a new recipe after finding a new kind of baking pan and managed to recreate a kind of Indo snack which tasted good (although I should've added a little more sugar or chocolate on top) and gave some to in-laws. MIL said that I should keep the recipe ha ha...
4. Hubby moved the toilet paper roll to a place where my hand could reach it better. THANK YOU, hubby!!!
5. Seeing how happy hubby is - how he danced like crazy around the room while making funny faces he he he...
6. Cleaning up snow every day from the yard this week and unpacking and rearranging things. I love having many things to do!
7. Loving the more peaceful surroundings where we live now compared to our former apartment (although the apartment is smack dab downtown, it means that there's more noise there).
8. Enjoying my own company (maybe too much 'coz I don't feel like being social these days - I just want to be left alone).
9. Fresh bed sheets, fresh pillow covers, fresh blanket cover and also being able to choose curtains for almost all the windows in our house.
10. Hubby feeding me candies and me peeling oranges for him.
11. I massaged hubby's back after he massaged mine. Yum!!!
12. The house looks more in order now and it feels GREAT!!! ;-D There are still things to do, but it's not as messy as before, though one storage room is very messy ha ha...
13. I have more or less succeeded in establishing this habit of hugging MIL every time we visit her. I should keep on doing this. ---> Note: It's not easy for me to establish this habit 'coz I'm not a hugger and in my family in Indo we don't normally hug, so except for hubby it's rather awkward for me to start this habit.
14. Having sauna in our own house. YEEAAAAHHHH!!!
Thursday, February 04, 2010
I've also been busy clearing up the snow from some parts of the yard every day 'coz it's snowed quite a lot since we moved here. It's a good exercise and I enjoyed it 'coz it gave me purpose - after all, I do have quite a lot of time to spend here.
So far we've also used the sauna twice - enjoying ourselves and relaxing in between the chaos and the messy rooms filled with cardboard boxes. We still haven't put on any dark curtain in our bedroom 'coz the one we had was too short - good thing the daylight here is still short, so we could sleep in peace in the dark HO HO HO HO HO...
Here're some pics of the house:
The living room:
The other part of the living room:
Our plain bedroom - no curtains yet:
The messy kitchen:
OK, that's all for now 'coz I've gotta find some curtains for the bedroom now ha ha...take care and I'll blog-hop sometime this week bit by bit.