Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Broken Hearts

Some friends and I have been talking about our relationship histories. Some people get married to their first boyfriends, whereas some go through so many relationships before they settle down, whereas some more are on and off with the same person so many times before they settle down with that same person. I remember one friend used to tell me years ago that she was actually wishing to have experienced a few relationships with different guys before she settled down. However, she ended up marrying her first boyfriend he he he...

Speaking of broken hearts, sometimes you break up with someone and you don't feel a thing anymore 'coz your heart is already cold towards that person. That means that in that case, you're breaking the other person's heart. Sometimes you both break up when there's no love anymore and that means no heart is probably broken (the only broken thing is the relationship). Sometimes during the break up, both parties experienced heartbreak.

When I was younger, I used to be attracted to the polar opposite of myself. Usually they were the boys that were active at school or some kind of organization (church or whatever) and they'd be funny and they would have tons of friends. Basically speaking, my melancholic side was attracted to the sanguine type of boys. I knew that meant that there would be a huge gap between the both of us and that it'd probably be hard for me to catch up with those types of boys if I should have a chance to be their girlfriend. Anyway, I had my share of crushes in the past but then none of them became my boyfriend. But you know what? I ended up marrying someone who was more similar to me than my polar opposite he he...

* FYI, I'm mostly melancholic with a little phlegmatic on the side. My phlegmatic side has grown since I've married R2. R2 is more phlegmatic with a little bit of melancholic on the side. 

One close friend commented that the important thing about a break-up is closure. If one party feels that the reason for the break-up is not clear, then it's harder for that person to move on after experiencing a broken heart. I agree with her. I've known at least two people who had a hard time to move on after their relationship break-ups 'coz of this.

How about you? Do you think closure is important in a break-up? Do you feel it's important to know the reason of the break-up in order to move on? If you're in a relationship/is married, did you end up choosing your polar opposite or someone who has more similarities with you?


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8 comments:

  1. I do think closure is important in a relationship to move on. Whenever I've broken up with someone I think it's important to try and explain the reasons why. Unless of course it's so obvious because you both end up hating each other! I think not knowing, and what if's, can drive a person mad.
    I've always been able to move on from relationships because I'm one of these people who don't give up easily and will only walk away if there's no other alternative. I guess I'm lucky that I've never had my heart broken in that sense. Yes, I've been upset when a relationship hasn't worked out, but I've known there is nothing else left for us and things will never be the same, so I've been upset but able to move on.
    Oh apart from one time, I had no idea what had happenend and why he disappeared, and that did drive me mad and I couldn't move on until I'd got to the bottom of it.
    And for the record, I married someone with a very similar personality to me, but we don't clash as we both have our own individual strengths and weaknesses and I think in this case we compliment each other and help each other.
    Interesting post.

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    1. THANKS for sharing your stories, Nikki. I'm glad that you could finally move on from that guy who disappeared, though. :-) But what I'm very happy about is that you've found the love of your life and you're soon to be a mom. :-D

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  2. Replies
    1. THANKS for your POV, Maria. Yep, breaking up isn't easy.

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  3. Someone I know, just broken up with her fiancee. Everything is set up for their wedding, just wait the big day. Suddenly, my friend found out that he is having affair with other woman. Wow...it is heart isn't it. But because I knew her story, i could say it karma.

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    1. WOW...that's such a sad story, Jul. :-( I also have a sad story about a friend who was going to get married and everything was ready, but she had an asthma attack and she passed away about a month before the wedding. I can't imagine the groom-to-be's feelings. :-(

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  4. I definitely do. I am not married, as I am too young( I feel), and I am unsure I would like to be, as I am career- minded and independent. I have had relationships in the past and closure was still bery important to me and the other party. I like your blog. Keep up the good work.:)

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    1. THANKS for sharing your POV, Maria. Glad you enjoyed my blog. :-)

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