Some friends and I have been talking about our relationship histories. Some people get married to their first boyfriends, whereas some go through so many relationships before they settle down, whereas some more are on and off with the same person so many times before they settle down with that same person. I remember one friend used to tell me years ago that she was actually wishing to have experienced a few relationships with different guys before she settled down. However, she ended up marrying her first boyfriend he he he...
Speaking of broken hearts, sometimes you break up with someone and you don't feel a thing anymore 'coz your heart is already cold towards that person. That means that in that case, you're breaking the other person's heart. Sometimes you both break up when there's no love anymore and that means no heart is probably broken (the only broken thing is the relationship). Sometimes during the break up, both parties experienced heartbreak.
When I was younger, I used to be attracted to the polar opposite of myself. Usually they were the boys that were active at school or some kind of organization (church or whatever) and they'd be funny and they would have tons of friends. Basically speaking, my melancholic side was attracted to the sanguine type of boys. I knew that meant that there would be a huge gap between the both of us and that it'd probably be hard for me to catch up with those types of boys if I should have a chance to be their girlfriend. Anyway, I had my share of crushes in the past but then none of them became my boyfriend. But you know what? I ended up marrying someone who was more similar to me than my polar opposite he he...
* FYI, I'm mostly melancholic with a little phlegmatic on the side. My phlegmatic side has grown since I've married R2. R2 is more phlegmatic with a little bit of melancholic on the side.
One close friend commented that the important thing about a break-up is closure. If one party feels that the reason for the break-up is not clear, then it's harder for that person to move on after experiencing a broken heart. I agree with her. I've known at least two people who had a hard time to move on after their relationship break-ups 'coz of this.
How about you? Do you think closure is important in a break-up? Do you feel it's important to know the reason of the break-up in order to move on? If you're in a relationship/is married, did you end up choosing your polar opposite or someone who has more similarities with you?
glitter-graphics.com
I have to write this prequel before I start writing about my Dad and I. Have you ever read Personality Tree by Florence Littauer? My friends and I read it while we were at the uni and the book's helped us A LOT in understanding ourselves and one another.
Basically there are four main personality types:
1. Choleric.
They're basically born leaders. They know what they want and they're not afraid in being assertive. They may be seen as "bossy" people. They love being in control and they get a lot of things accomplished. They are goal-oriented and they love challenges.
2. Sanguine.
They're the life of the party. They LOVE being in the spotlight and they crave for attention and praise more than others. They're fun, bubbly, and they have lots of friends. However, their attention span is usually short, so they're not really focused people. They're those people who forget where they put their keys or even their cars.
3. Melancholy.
They're the deep thinkers and they have a great memory in remembering details. They thrive on details. Since they have a great memory, they tend to hold grudges. They're sensitive and they love planning ahead of time. They're organized and they love routine. They can also be perfectionists in some areas in their lives. If you see someone organizing their books in alphabetical order, then he or she is a melancholy.
4. Phlegmatic.
They're peace lovers. They are low-key types of people. They might seem lazy as they aren't ambitious like cholerics. They are easygoing, patient, and calm. They're good listeners and they avoid conflicts. However, they are unenthusiastic and they lack discipline. They're also shy and reticent.
However, there can be combinations of two personalities with different percentages:
1. Sanguine/Choleric.
2. Melancholy/Phlegmatic.
3. Choleric/Melancholy.
4. Sanguine/Phlegmatic.
I belong to the Melancholy/Phlegmatic combination. My Melancholy percentage is 80%, whereas my Phlegmatic percentage is 20%. My husband has never taken the test, but I'm pretty sure that he's also a Melancholy/Phlegmatic though his Phlegmatic percentage is way bigger than his Melancholy percentage.
If you read my earlier post entitled My Brother and I, you can now guess which personality traits he has since he's the opposite of me. He's a Sanguine/Phlegmatic with a bigger percentage of Sanguine than Phlegmatic. Sanguine people are charmers he he he he he...
My mother, on the other hand, is a Sanguine/Choleric. She's a charmer and when she wants to do something, she'll be SO determined in doing it until it's done (if possible without too much rest). Usually Phlegmatics would feel somewhat uncomfortably pressured by Cholerics since Cholerics would want to push the "unenthusiastic" Phlegmatics who love to do things on their own pace and time (i.e. leisurely).
If you want to know which group you belong to, go here and take the test:
In the same site there're also a better description of each personality trait's weaknesses and strengths.
If you can, it'd be MUCH better for you to read the book since there are other explanations which I can't possibly write down here.
Basically speaking, you can't be a combination of Sanguine/Melancholy or Choleric/Phlegmatic since they are in contrast with one another. However, I know some people who were born Sanguine who were taught to be Melancholy, thus they may show some Melancholy sides due to the upbringing, as well.
Funnily enough, usually opposite attracts and that's how problems arise. A Choleric who marries a Phlegmatic may at first feel peaceful since the Phlegmatic has no huge ambitions. However, over time the Choleric might get irritated since the Phlegmatic isn't enthusiastic about most things. Thus the Choleric would try to push the Phlegmatic, yet the stubborn Phlegmatic would refuse to be pushed.
A Sanguine who marries a Melancholy might feel awed that the Melancholy is so deep and analytical at first. But then the Sanguine might be driven crazy by the Melancholy's love for planning way ahead of time. A Sanguine doesn't like to be tied down with plans. A Sanguine loves spontaneity and sometimes the happy-go-lucky Sanguine might hurt the Melancholy who's basically sensitive.
Problems arise if you don't know who you're dealing with and how you have to deal with them. That's why I think the book's GREAT. ;-D
One more link. I found a table comparing Kierseyan Temperament with this Personality Tree types.
Go here to see the table. It's located almost at the bottom of the page.
HEY!!! I just found this WONDERFUL site, as well...I think it explains this thing better than I do he he he...Go here:
