Tuesday, December 18, 2012


Dunno where to start. I've been silent mainly because of some news I heard about a friend who's fallen ill. At first it seemed to be a regular illness, but then it was discovered to have been an autoimmune disease. This kind of news is jarring enough to make me feel like I'm at a stoplight. The world is still moving at its own pace around me, but I'm focused on the red light that may change the whole world for my friend. 

When I finally let the light turn green again, it felt weird. Somewhere out there right at this moment someone is laughing, another is crying, another gives birth, another loses a loved one, another is thinking of suicide, another is enjoying a honeymoon, another is having a promotion, another loses a job...We'll never know what will happen to us next. 

Being childless-not-by-choice, I've sometimes thought about how we'll end up in the future and trying to "see" too far ahead is totally scary, especially if I wonder who's gonna fight for my right when I'm too old and sick to be able to do it for myself (read my post on Mercy). It's better to just focus on the present, make the best of what we have right now than feeling worried about what may not actually happen. 

After IF, I don't even dare talk about miracles to my friend. If God wills, He can erase her illness, but many times God doesn't work that way. It doesn't matter anymore why God chooses to act a certain way or why He doesn't help us the way we want Him to. What matters most is that I know He knows best and He cares and He will give enough grace and peace beyond understanding in whatever circumstances one has to face if one believes in Him and asks for it. 

This is the prayer I sent to my friend..



  1. Best wishes of health to your friend; I'm sorry to hear about the autoimmune disease!

    1. THANKS, Elena. The problem is that they haven't found out what exactly it is that she has yet.