First Trip Abroad

When I was still studying at the uni, I had many emailpals 'coz I wanted to improve my English. One of them became rather close to me 'coz we shared some similarities (he's a year older than me). He then had an idea to go abroad together with me, but 'coz he knew I couldn't afford going somewhere too far, he suggested Singapore.

While studying at the uni, I had started earning money by becoming a private English tutor. Back then I only had classes from morning until around 2 pm at the latest and on some days I only had one class, so I had plenty of time to teach after 2 pm. Through word of mouth, I got more and more students as time went by, so once I graduated, I had accumulated some money for travel. It wasn't much, but enough for a 6-day trip to Singapore.

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So this emailpal of mine first came to Bandung to visit me for the first time in 2000 and then we went to Singapore together. Prior to his coming to Indo, I naturally had told my parents about our wish to go to Singapore together. My Mom supported me fully, but my Dad was worried. Being a hard-headed person like me, I told my Mom that no matter what I was going to go with this emailpal of mine. So Mom (BLESS HER!!!) became the bridge between me and Dad. If I had to go talk to Dad on my own, we would have had a fight probably. Mom's the best bridge of all time between me and Dad.

For those of you westerners out there, you may wonder why it's this way, but I grew up in Asia where things are different. I lived with my parents until I moved to Finland at the age of 28 years old, so I knew my parents would also consider me as "green" when it came to my wish to go to Singapore at the age of 22 with an emailpal I had never met in real life. However, I was adamant 'coz I wanted to prove to them (and myself) that I could come back in one piece. Why? Because all my life I have been wanting to travel abroad when I have the money and opportunity and if my parents can't trust me enough to go abroad with a friend at that time, they would probably have a harder time letting me go somewhere farther on my own.

In order to appease Dad's worry at that time, I conveyed the problem to my emailpal and he understood it (he has plenty of Asian friends, so even though he's a foreigner, he understands the Asian world). He then had this idea on how he could help, so he wrote an email to my parents (in English) to introduce himself and explain why we wanted to go abroad together. He also stated that we would take good care of each other. After printing that letter out and giving it to Mom (who then gave it to Dad), we got Dad's full permission. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!! :-D I was SO thrilled!

And my closest friends also helped by telling Mom how nice my emailpal was after we spent time with him in Bandung before we went to Singapore together and of course he also dropped by our place a few times, so my Mom could meet him beforehand. I'm sorry to have to lie to my parents by telling them that we'd stay in different rooms, but I just couldn't afford staying in a different room, so we had to share a room to keep the cost low.

But anyway, nothing bad happened. We enjoyed the trip and it was really fun. We almost had a scare when going back to Indo 'coz at Singapore airport, they asked for my emailpal's return ticket from Jakarta to his home country (so the itinerary was he stayed in Indo for a week, then we went to Singapore for 6 days, then he stayed in Indo again for another week). He said he didn't bring it. Finally the Singapore official let him go back to Indo, though they warned him that he might get into trouble in Jakarta airport.

At that time we didn't understand anything about it, so we just disregarded it. Turned out that when we were going out of Jakarta airport, the official wouldn't let him go unless he either could show that he had sufficient funds in his bank account (or credit card) or show that he had the return ticket, he wouldn't let him go out of the airport.

At that time he was still working part-time and studying at the same time, so he didn't have that much money nor enough limit in the credit card. Meanwhile, I had just graduated from university, so I also didn't have any credit card nor too much money in my bank account (in fact, I used up almost all of my 4-year savings that I got from tutoring kids for the whole trip, so I was broke when we got back from Singapore).

We were confused and anxious and worried at that time, but my friend finally decided to ransack through his backpack and ta-daaaa...he FOUND the return ticket!!! He didn't even realize that he had brought it all along! If he hadn't found it, I would have probably have to go back to Bandung alone to retrieve the ticket and go back to Jakarta. Phew!!! What a mess!!!

But all's well that ends well. That trip opened up more opportunities for me to go abroad on my own - such as when I first went to Finland for the first time in 2004. :-)))) I didn't even have to convince my parents anymore 'coz they knew I could take good care of myself he he he...

East and West Revisited + More Photos

Remember I once told you about a Chinese woman (who was born in China) living in Finland who wrote a Finnish novel? Well, I started reading it a long time ago, but then got distracted with other books (yeah, bad habit, I know). Anyway, I continued reading it again yesterday and I found interesting things, esp. about the cultural differences.

Here I just want to mention one point I found in the book. In one chapter, this main character, a Finnish woman who moved to Finland to be with her Finnish husband, is wondering about the value of a mother in a boy's life.

She said that in China there's this saying that goes something like this: "If a man loves his mother, he can also love his wife."

This main character has read somewhere about a research. The research is about this: "If you're in an accident with your wife, child, and mother, which one would you safe first?"

The result of the research is interesting. Most Asians state that they'd first save the mother, because they only have one mother. Then they'd save the wife, because she can give birth to more children. And the last one they'd save is the child.

Most westerners state that first they'd save the child, because he or she has got the highest life expectancy. Unfortunately I don't know the rest of the result.

When I read that question, I was also confused. What would my answer be? It wouldn't be an easy decision, would it? But when I imagine such a situation, I can almost hear my Mom yelling at me, "Save your child first!" he he he he he...I can't answer any other way about that hypothetical situation, 'coz it depends on many factors: whether or not it is easy to help that person get out of the scene of accident, who's jammed under what, etc. etc. etc. *knock on wood*

One thing that I find true about cultural differences here is the calling of your first name. Here even at work you call people by their first name, even though they're much older than you. In Indonesia, it'll be considered VERY impolite - more like an insult (unless the person is only a few years older than you or unless they ask you to call them by their first names).

It's hard to describe these cultural differences if you haven't lived in both worlds, because there are still so many subtle and less subtle things that make up a culture.

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Now let me share some more weekend pics here.






Last pic: I have NO idea what this flower is called.


P.S. I just went to the health care centre and tomorrow I'm going to do some blood tests (I assume they want to check my hormone level). Weirdly enough, the doctor didn't do any tests on me (I was assuming that she'd at least do an ultrasound, but she didn't). But she did ask me many questions he he he...

Anyway, she wants R2 to give sperm sample later on but he has to make an appointment first. I can do the blood test any time I want to 'coz she's put it on the computer already (in my file, I mean). Better do it quickly before my training starts (though not sure yet when it is going to happen).