When I first started working in my current workplace, I was really unsure about my ability. The only thing that made me even think of sending an application there was the words someone said to me. She said she believed I was ready to work in a place like that. She was helping us at the Finnish course. She taught us how to send applications, how to make a CV in Finnish and how to find jobs online and things like that. Without her encouragement, I don't think I would have found the courage to send the application letter. :-D
Another thing I was unsure about was the fact that I wasn't a people person and I had zero experience in the field. Would I survive in that kind of environment? On the other hand, I wanted to be able to use my Finnish actively so that it wouldn't get rusty. The first few months in my current workplace were rough. I was really wondering whether or not I should continue. I wasn't even sure that they'd renew my contract (the first contract was only for 3 months). After getting the permanent job contract, I was thinking that I would only be able to continue working in this kind of place for 2 years max. Seriously.
Until I started getting to know the workplace, my workload, and the product range better. Until some customers started giving me feedback that made me believe that this was/is the right place for me (that's why I'm forever grateful to all those people who've given me verbal feedback and words of encouragement because they're God's angels on earth).
I knew my limitations from the start. Other than the language, one other limit is my height (I'm only 145 cm). There are some things that my taller coworkers can do better and faster than me. And because they're native Finns, naturally they're able to explain things better pronto (compared to myself who needs more time to think of a way to explain things that I've never encountered before). And if a new problem occurs, they know better whom to call and what to do and how to explain it to the customers or the boss.
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In the beginning, whenever someone asked me a question that I couldn't answer, I always called my coworker to help out. Over the past 2 years and 4 months I've learnt to pick up words and phrases from my coworkers and customers and that's helped me respond more "automatically" in similar circumstances. As to my height, there's nothing I can do about it, but at least there's a stool at work that I can use whenever I need it. :-D
Luckily the coworkers and bosses I've met and worked with have been nice and fair people. They've never treated me differently despite the fact that sometimes when they talk so fast, I still ask them to repeat the words to me. There are still some occasions when I also need my customers to explain what they need from me, especially if they use strange words that I'm not familiar with, but at least my face helps make them understand that I'm a foreigner and that they may need to use more "regular" words and even body language when they talk to me.
Having worked in this kind of place for the first time in my life makes me realize even more that one cannot please everyone. I still make mistakes every now and then, though I try to minimize them. Some customers may feel more satisfied than others, some may be more willing to forgive than others, but it's a wonderful journey to learn to forgive myself, too. To let go of my mistakes instead of dragging them like balls of chain on my ankles. To focus more on what I can do and to try finding ways to work more efficiently and to be more sensitive towards my customers' needs as best as I can.
After all, this is a gift/opportunity that God has entrusted to me in such a miraculous way. If He hadn't slammed other doors right in front of me back in 2010 (that had caused some depression for a while), I wouldn't have bothered to try looking for real jobs. Instead, I would have been "satisfied" being in my comfort zone where I wouldn't have learnt all these lessons. THANK YOU, Lord, for everything!!!
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When I found out that my FIL was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease about 2 years ago, I didn't know how it impacted my MIL. I figured it'd be hard on her (esp. since they've been together for over 45 years), but 'coz whenever we visit them, he always seems so functional and he always looks okay, I thought it was still okay.
Once or twice my MIL told us that she had trouble sleeping at nights 'coz FIL woke up during the night and went out. She also told us once that FIL peed in a bucket instead of in the toilet, so she even made a label on the toilet door. Other than that, though, I didn't know anything about her struggles.
Yesterday MIL asked us what to do to be able to comment on a "blog", 'coz it required registration or something like that. At first I was confused, 'coz usually if you want to comment on a blog, you don't need to register first as a user. When she showed us the webpage, I realized it was a forum for people who take care of their sick family member(s).
She found a thread about Alzheimer's disease and she wanted to comment on that, so we guided her on how to register and how to comment. What struck me the most was when I visited the thread at home after I got back home and read all the stories there, including what my MIL shared with them.
She said she took the diagnosis hard and she went into a depression (that I knew NOTHING about!), but gladly her doctor helped her to get into therapy where she could unload her burdens, so it helped. Now that he's been taking medication for the disease, it's helped somewhat (she said that the mornings are always so hard, but after he eats breakfast and takes his pills, he becomes "a different man" - in a good way). So that's why whenever we visit them he always looks pretty normal to me...except on two or three occasions when I saw him have trouble putting on his clothes (he looked confused on how to put them on).
Anyway, I shed some tears when I kept on reading the thread. One story that struck me was about this 97-year-old guy whose wife has been put in a nursing home 'coz Alzheimer has wiped out so many things from her brain. This guy drives his car and visits his wife regularly. He feeds her (even though she doesn't seem to recognize him anymore). His daughter died when she was 60 years old and his son died in a car accident when he was in his twenties, so he has nobody else in life.
God, I cried! Some people have such tough crosses to bear...My Mom always tells me that different people have different crosses to bear...
I'm GLAD that now my MIL has a support group to help her. As much as I want to help her, it's always MUCH better to find some people who've gone through similar problems who can really give her total understanding, support, comfort and also advice/tips.
This is one reasons I LOVE the internet...you can talk to people all over the world who've been through or who are experiencing what you're experiencing. A burden shared is a burden halved, agree?
Sending prayers for all of those people who struggle to take care of their sick family members...may God give them strength, joy, and serenity to go on...
Blessed are those who mourn,For they shall be comforted. - Matthew 5:4I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.- Philippians 4:11b-13
I've been meaning to write about this, but haven't had the chance. Well, remember the birthday party I attended on January 4th? I had a long talk with Vi, one of the guests.
She first started asking me how Arttu and I met, so I told her the brief version of it. Then she asked me, "Do you know what other people probably think about Asians marrying Finnish people? They probably think that they wanted to get married with Finnish people for their money or citizenship."
It didn't surprise me to hear her say that, but what surprised me was my own reaction. I didn't feel the need to explain myself to her. After all, what matters most is that Arttu's family knows that I'm not a gold digger. That's the benefit of marrying a foreign guy when he was unemployed HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...Ahem!
Anyway, as you probably know, then I left to the bar with some girls, whereas Arttu and the birthday girl and the rest of them went to a different bar.
In the bar, I also got to talk to Vi again. Well, she said that since they were all females, if somebody approached me or something, then I should have told her about it. I truly appreciated her gesture in trying to protect me. So she "assumed" that since I was an Asian, then Finnish guys would approach me.
I told her that I had never gone to the bars alone. Besides, I had never made eye contact with anyone too long. Then she said something that made me surprised. She said, "Well, but you know what people will think if you keep on staring at the floor?" I shook my head, since I honestly didn't know.
She said, "They'll think that you're depressed 'coz you've been abused or something. Anyway, speaking of abuse, here in Finland the social system is good, so if you're abused or something, you don't have to worry. You just need to tell the authority, you know? But anyway, I'm sure that your guy isn't abusive 'coz I can tell that you're a smart girl."
So she had "assumed" that I stared at the floor to avoid making eye contact with other guys. I explained to her that I didn't stare at the floors all night whenever we went to bars, but I just made sure that I didn't stare at other guys' eyes since that could be misinterpreted as flirting with the guys. I told her that I did look around the place, but I wouldn't make an eye contact with guys too long.
It was pretty interesting to see what other people have to say to me when they found out about my relationship with Arttu. To be honest, I never really thought about what other people (Finns) thought about me and Arttu. As long as my parents know about it and as long as his family accepts me, then I'll be okay.
But what I realized by having the conversation was that years back, I would have tried to explain to her about the truth about our relationship. I would at least felt the NEED to explain to her about us. But I didn't feel it anymore and it feels...LIBERATING!!! ;-D
But that brought me to my other conclusion from the conversation. How many times do I, do we, assume? It's so easy for us to just take some "samples" in our brains and then whenever there's a similar case, then we'd think it's just the same as the "samples"? Of course in some cases, this ability has been proven crucial. However, in some cases, this type of assumptions can be dangerous, or at least misleading.
Yeah, yeah, this post is just my rambling thoughts, but your two cents are welcome he he he he he...OK, now I'd better clean up the house before I blog-hop. See you soon, guys!!!!
