Assumptions

I've been meaning to write about this, but haven't had the chance. Well, remember the birthday party I attended on January 4th? I had a long talk with Vi, one of the guests.

She first started asking me how Arttu and I met, so I told her the brief version of it. Then she asked me, "Do you know what other people probably think about Asians marrying Finnish people? They probably think that they wanted to get married with Finnish people for their money or citizenship."

It didn't surprise me to hear her say that, but what surprised me was my own reaction. I didn't feel the need to explain myself to her. After all, what matters most is that Arttu's family knows that I'm not a gold digger. That's the benefit of marrying a foreign guy when he was unemployed HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...Ahem!

Anyway, as you probably know, then I left to the bar with some girls, whereas Arttu and the birthday girl and the rest of them went to a different bar.

In the bar, I also got to talk to Vi again. Well, she said that since they were all females, if somebody approached me or something, then I should have told her about it. I truly appreciated her gesture in trying to protect me. So she "assumed" that since I was an Asian, then Finnish guys would approach me.

I told her that I had never gone to the bars alone. Besides, I had never made eye contact with anyone too long. Then she said something that made me surprised. She said, "Well, but you know what people will think if you keep on staring at the floor?" I shook my head, since I honestly didn't know.

She said, "They'll think that you're depressed 'coz you've been abused or something. Anyway, speaking of abuse, here in Finland the social system is good, so if you're abused or something, you don't have to worry. You just need to tell the authority, you know? But anyway, I'm sure that your guy isn't abusive 'coz I can tell that you're a smart girl."

So she had "assumed" that I stared at the floor to avoid making eye contact with other guys. I explained to her that I didn't stare at the floors all night whenever we went to bars, but I just made sure that I didn't stare at other guys' eyes since that could be misinterpreted as flirting with the guys. I told her that I did look around the place, but I wouldn't make an eye contact with guys too long.

It was pretty interesting to see what other people have to say to me when they found out about my relationship with Arttu. To be honest, I never really thought about what other people (Finns) thought about me and Arttu. As long as my parents know about it and as long as his family accepts me, then I'll be okay.

But what I realized by having the conversation was that years back, I would have tried to explain to her about the truth about our relationship. I would at least felt the NEED to explain to her about us. But I didn't feel it anymore and it feels...LIBERATING!!! ;-D

But that brought me to my other conclusion from the conversation. How many times do I, do we, assume? It's so easy for us to just take some "samples" in our brains and then whenever there's a similar case, then we'd think it's just the same as the "samples"? Of course in some cases, this ability has been proven crucial. However, in some cases, this type of assumptions can be dangerous, or at least misleading.

Yeah, yeah, this post is just my rambling thoughts, but your two cents are welcome he he he he he...OK, now I'd better clean up the house before I blog-hop. See you soon, guys!!!!

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