When it comes to caring for the elderly, if we choose to care for them ourselves, we have to know what to do to take good care of them, especially if they suffer from some kind of serious illness. For Indonesians, sending elderly parents to nursing homes is considered something bad to do. It's like "getting rid of them" or something.
Personally speaking, I think if you intend on caring for the elderly at home, at least you have to find out as much information as you can get concerning the health condition of the elderly. As Michelle once told me, getting in touch with a specific health support group or forum can help. The above website provides such a forum and plenty of information about caring for the elderly, such as: recognizing the signs of dementia, Parkinson's disease, bed sores, how to prevent stroke, etc.
Since my father-in-law suffers from Alzheimer, I felt so touched when I read a letter sent to the above website by a man whose wife suffers from Alzheimer. If you want to read it, visit the site and click on "care discussion" and "your letters". In short, at first the man took care of the wife at home, but then she fell and broke her arm. Then she couldn't speak and had to use a wheelchair. Since he couldn't take care of everything himself, he decided to send her to a nursing home. However, that only made things worse. In the end he sold his house, moved to a smaller one and he has been taking care of her alone since then.
Anyway, if you feel that you're incapable of taking care of your loved ones by yourself, yet you don't want to send them to a nursing home, hiring a carer is a good option. This is what my parents did when my grandma's condition deteriorated badly. After all, my parents had jobs back then and they still had to take care of us, their kids. All in all, when there are sick elderly in your family, it's better for you to equip yourself with all the necessary information and options so you can choose the best option for your loved ones.
Showing posts with label Stroke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stroke. Show all posts
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
My Dad and His Mother
Karen tagged me to do a meme about 8 Facts on Grandma, but I think I'm gonna write a LONG post about this instead of writing 8 things about my grandma ha ha ha...Since I've written some things about my grandma from my mother's side, I think it's time for me to write some history from my dad's side.
My Dad's parents used to live in Central Java. Dad said that during his glorious moments, my grandpa was a pretty well-known person and he was rich. I don't know why both of them decided to move to Bandung. I've never even met my grandpa as he died even before my Dad met my Mom.
Anyway, my grandma was born in such a traditional period of time. She wasn't taught any skills other than to take care of the house, cook, and sew, so she couldn't find work outside of home. When my Dad was a teenager, grandpa's business went bankrupt. Some people tricked him, so life became so tough on them. They had 6 kids altogether. My Dad is the second one and his eldest sister is only a year older than him. When they were teenagers, the eldest sister was pretty much a party girl. She went out A LOT and got back home late to dance. Dad said that one time my grandpa was SO angry about her coming home late so that he grabbed a chair and hit her with it until the chair broke, but she didn't even flinch or shed a tear. Amazing, isn't it?
After grandpa died (I don't know exactly when), but it must've been around the time when my Dad was at his twenties. Dad said that he had only one year left to do at the university before he graduated, but grandpa didn't have enough money to pay for his tuition, so he quit and he started looking for a job. Since Dad was more responsible than his eldest sister, he told us that grandma favoured Dad more than the others.
Dad and his siblings started to work early on to support their livelihood, including grandma's expenses. Grandma is a very meek person. I remember that every time we visited her, she'd offer us hopjes. This is a pic of the EXACT kind of hopjes that she always offered us.
Just like my mom's mother, grandma loved wearing traditional clothes. Here's a pic of her with her grandkids. It was taken when I was around 13 years old (look at my YUCKY hairdo!!!). Yep, that's right...I'm the one sitting on her side with the orange T-shirt. My brother is standing right next to me.
She had stroke twice. The first time she had it, I remember vaguely going to the hospital to visit her. I think she recovered enough after that first time. She was still able to do some things and she could speak again (if I remember correctly), but the second time she had it, she could only rest in bed. At first she stayed with my Dad's younger brother, but then she moved with my Dad's eldest sister.
She was never angry or emotional, always so calm. Maybe that's one reason why she had strokes. She kept everything inside. I never really got to know her that well. She was a private person, but she was a good mother-in-law for my mom he he he...She never criticized my mom or said anything bad.
She was so meek that even if nobody fed her, she wouldn't have complained. She just lay still on her bed and accepted her fate. Every now and then she'd smoothen a crease on her sarong or the bedding. She was quite the opposite of my mom's mother who was loud, could be pretty aggressive if needed be, and didn't have a problem expressing her thoughts or anger.
Another memory I have of her I've written down in my earlier post here: A Fond Memory of Chicks.
Dad loved her so much, especially since it seemed that he was her fave kid. He said that during their toughest days, sometimes they asked for leftover from a food factory and that was all that they would eat. Dad also said that sometimes grandma bought her some snack and hid it safely somewhere. When the other kids arrived home from school or work and asked grandma if they had some snack, grandma would say no. However, whenever Dad arrived home, grandma would immediately take it out and the other kids would complain he he he he he...
I guess that's not much. Grandma died when I was still a teenager, so I didn't have too many vivid memories of her. I knew my mother's mom better than her 'coz we got to live with her for years. All I know that I liked her better than my mother's mom who had such a temper he he he he he...
P.S. I'm tagging MAX to do this meme 'coz I know that her grandma's such a WONDERFUL person, so I wanna know her a little bit more.
My Dad's parents used to live in Central Java. Dad said that during his glorious moments, my grandpa was a pretty well-known person and he was rich. I don't know why both of them decided to move to Bandung. I've never even met my grandpa as he died even before my Dad met my Mom.
Anyway, my grandma was born in such a traditional period of time. She wasn't taught any skills other than to take care of the house, cook, and sew, so she couldn't find work outside of home. When my Dad was a teenager, grandpa's business went bankrupt. Some people tricked him, so life became so tough on them. They had 6 kids altogether. My Dad is the second one and his eldest sister is only a year older than him. When they were teenagers, the eldest sister was pretty much a party girl. She went out A LOT and got back home late to dance. Dad said that one time my grandpa was SO angry about her coming home late so that he grabbed a chair and hit her with it until the chair broke, but she didn't even flinch or shed a tear. Amazing, isn't it?
After grandpa died (I don't know exactly when), but it must've been around the time when my Dad was at his twenties. Dad said that he had only one year left to do at the university before he graduated, but grandpa didn't have enough money to pay for his tuition, so he quit and he started looking for a job. Since Dad was more responsible than his eldest sister, he told us that grandma favoured Dad more than the others.
Dad and his siblings started to work early on to support their livelihood, including grandma's expenses. Grandma is a very meek person. I remember that every time we visited her, she'd offer us hopjes. This is a pic of the EXACT kind of hopjes that she always offered us.
Just like my mom's mother, grandma loved wearing traditional clothes. Here's a pic of her with her grandkids. It was taken when I was around 13 years old (look at my YUCKY hairdo!!!). Yep, that's right...I'm the one sitting on her side with the orange T-shirt. My brother is standing right next to me.
She had stroke twice. The first time she had it, I remember vaguely going to the hospital to visit her. I think she recovered enough after that first time. She was still able to do some things and she could speak again (if I remember correctly), but the second time she had it, she could only rest in bed. At first she stayed with my Dad's younger brother, but then she moved with my Dad's eldest sister.
She was never angry or emotional, always so calm. Maybe that's one reason why she had strokes. She kept everything inside. I never really got to know her that well. She was a private person, but she was a good mother-in-law for my mom he he he...She never criticized my mom or said anything bad.
She was so meek that even if nobody fed her, she wouldn't have complained. She just lay still on her bed and accepted her fate. Every now and then she'd smoothen a crease on her sarong or the bedding. She was quite the opposite of my mom's mother who was loud, could be pretty aggressive if needed be, and didn't have a problem expressing her thoughts or anger.
Another memory I have of her I've written down in my earlier post here: A Fond Memory of Chicks.
Dad loved her so much, especially since it seemed that he was her fave kid. He said that during their toughest days, sometimes they asked for leftover from a food factory and that was all that they would eat. Dad also said that sometimes grandma bought her some snack and hid it safely somewhere. When the other kids arrived home from school or work and asked grandma if they had some snack, grandma would say no. However, whenever Dad arrived home, grandma would immediately take it out and the other kids would complain he he he he he...
I guess that's not much. Grandma died when I was still a teenager, so I didn't have too many vivid memories of her. I knew my mother's mom better than her 'coz we got to live with her for years. All I know that I liked her better than my mother's mom who had such a temper he he he he he...
P.S. I'm tagging MAX to do this meme 'coz I know that her grandma's such a WONDERFUL person, so I wanna know her a little bit more.
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