Friday, October 19, 2007

My Dad and His Mother

Karen tagged me to do a meme about 8 Facts on Grandma, but I think I'm gonna write a LONG post about this instead of writing 8 things about my grandma ha ha ha...Since I've written some things about my grandma from my mother's side, I think it's time for me to write some history from my dad's side.

My Dad's parents used to live in Central Java. Dad said that during his glorious moments, my grandpa was a pretty well-known person and he was rich. I don't know why both of them decided to move to Bandung. I've never even met my grandpa as he died even before my Dad met my Mom.

Anyway, my grandma was born in such a traditional period of time. She wasn't taught any skills other than to take care of the house, cook, and sew, so she couldn't find work outside of home. When my Dad was a teenager, grandpa's business went bankrupt. Some people tricked him, so life became so tough on them. They had 6 kids altogether. My Dad is the second one and his eldest sister is only a year older than him. When they were teenagers, the eldest sister was pretty much a party girl. She went out A LOT and got back home late to dance. Dad said that one time my grandpa was SO angry about her coming home late so that he grabbed a chair and hit her with it until the chair broke, but she didn't even flinch or shed a tear. Amazing, isn't it?

After grandpa died (I don't know exactly when), but it must've been around the time when my Dad was at his twenties. Dad said that he had only one year left to do at the university before he graduated, but grandpa didn't have enough money to pay for his tuition, so he quit and he started looking for a job. Since Dad was more responsible than his eldest sister, he told us that grandma favoured Dad more than the others.

Dad and his siblings started to work early on to support their livelihood, including grandma's expenses. Grandma is a very meek person. I remember that every time we visited her, she'd offer us hopjes. This is a pic of the EXACT kind of hopjes that she always offered us.

Just like my mom's mother, grandma loved wearing traditional clothes. Here's a pic of her with her grandkids. It was taken when I was around 13 years old (look at my YUCKY hairdo!!!). Yep, that's right...I'm the one sitting on her side with the orange T-shirt. My brother is standing right next to me.

She had stroke twice. The first time she had it, I remember vaguely going to the hospital to visit her. I think she recovered enough after that first time. She was still able to do some things and she could speak again (if I remember correctly), but the second time she had it, she could only rest in bed. At first she stayed with my Dad's younger brother, but then she moved with my Dad's eldest sister.

She was never angry or emotional, always so calm. Maybe that's one reason why she had strokes. She kept everything inside. I never really got to know her that well. She was a private person, but she was a good mother-in-law for my mom he he he...She never criticized my mom or said anything bad.

She was so meek that even if nobody fed her, she wouldn't have complained. She just lay still on her bed and accepted her fate. Every now and then she'd smoothen a crease on her sarong or the bedding. She was quite the opposite of my mom's mother who was loud, could be pretty aggressive if needed be, and didn't have a problem expressing her thoughts or anger.

Another memory I have of her I've written down in my earlier post here: A Fond Memory of Chicks.

Dad loved her so much, especially since it seemed that he was her fave kid. He said that during their toughest days, sometimes they asked for leftover from a food factory and that was all that they would eat. Dad also said that sometimes grandma bought her some snack and hid it safely somewhere. When the other kids arrived home from school or work and asked grandma if they had some snack, grandma would say no. However, whenever Dad arrived home, grandma would immediately take it out and the other kids would complain he he he he he...

I guess that's not much. Grandma died when I was still a teenager, so I didn't have too many vivid memories of her. I knew my mother's mom better than her 'coz we got to live with her for years. All I know that I liked her better than my mother's mom who had such a temper he he he he he...

P.S. I'm tagging MAX to do this meme 'coz I know that her grandma's such a WONDERFUL person, so I wanna know her a little bit more.


  1. Lovely one Amel! And I think you were cute at 13. ;-)It's not an easy age to be.

  2. Hi, M!

    Glad you enjoyed it. I wish I could have remembered more things about her he he he...

    THANKS for your compliment! ;-D My friends and I always laugh our hearts out whenever we see our pics when we were that age HI HI HI HI HI...SO funny! ;-D

    You're right though...13 isn't an easy age to be he he...

  3. Hey Girl!

    Funny, I like you meek grandma: she sounds amazing! :).

    Thanks for sharing with us this beautiful meme, and thanks for tagging me :)!


  4. Hi, Max!

    Yeah, she's loveable indeed he he he he he...Glad you don't mind being tagged by me. ;-D

  5. Hey Amel..

    That's a very touching and comprehensive account! You have given more than eight things that I tagged you for. You are great! Your post are getting better and better.

    By the way, did you realize that you were one of the stars in the slide of my most recent post?

  6. Hi, Karen!

    I'm glad you liked my post. I thought it wasn't as comprehensive as I'd like 'coz I don't remember too many details he he he...

    Oh, too bad I didn't realize that I was in one of your stars!!! I better check it out again he he he he...I did watch the slide but maybe I missed mine ha ha ha ha...THANKS A LOT, Girl!!!

  7. It's beautiful. Both of my grandmas had different characters as well...but one thing, they were very nice and humble. Sometimes, I missed them especially my mom's mom...:(

    Anyway, Hopjes...I don't know if you know this, but is it something like "Kopiko"??

    It's funny when you mentioned about old pictures :D because there's always something to laugh about when we look at the albums. It's fun!! ;D

  8. Oh, your granny sounds like such a lovely lady. She looks very kind in the photo too.

  9. Choc Mint Girl: Hopjes (the real deal - 'coz there are fake ones) are actually much better than Kopiko. They're not coffee-flavored, though the colour is almost the same he he...

    Ahhhh...I'm glad you had WONDERFUL grandmas. So you were closer to your mom's mom, eh?

    You're right about looking at old photo albums he he he...

    Blur Ting: Yeah, she was really kind. ;-D