Bullies

My friend's son has been bullied by a classmate. They're only 4-years-old, can you believe it? The bully bites him, hits him, slaps him until my friend's son had nightmares. He was delirious in his sleep, saying the bully's name over and over again until he wet his bed, even though he had learnt not to wet his bed when he was 1-year-old already. He was also reluctant to go to preschool anymore 'coz of that.

When my friend confronted the teacher, the teacher said that they were trying to have the child go to a therapist to help him channel all his energies. When my friend confronted the bully's mother, the woman simply said, "Why don't you teach your son to defend himself?"

Ugh...my friend didn't want to teach his son to hit him back or do something like that, so at first she told him to just shout so loudly when the bully tried to do something bad so that the teacher would pay attention to them. So the son did just that, but then the teacher reprimanded them both and they both got punishment. And since then the son didn't dare shout anymore. Another ugh, right?

Another mother in the school was once in the same car with the bully and his mother and for some reason, the bully's mother was angry, so she slapped the son and you know what the son did? He slapped her back. So it seems that this bully has been conditioned to think that hitting or slapping or biting others is OK 'coz he can even do it to his own mother.

Long story short, my friend asked the school so that next semester her son could be put in a different classroom (moving him to a new school would be tough 'coz it's gonna be expensive and who knows if there're other bullies out there either, right?). She's also told her son to stay the hell away from that bully as much as possible at school.

She's torn inside 'coz she feels that by telling his son to do that, it may send a signal to the son that he's weak and he doesn't have any strength. However, I think it's a smart move. I mean, let's face it: in real life we can't get along 'coz we'll bound to meet people with whom our relations feel like oil and water, right? If we can avoid spending time with people that "rub us the wrong way", isn't that wise to do so?

I welcome any POV from anyone, though...I wanna know what you think. If your child's bullied, what would you do?

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P.S. On a brighter note, today I got LOADS and LOADS of kisses from two kids HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...My, that felt SO GOOD! :-D

Standing Women Pledge

Michelle challenged me to stand for something based on this pledge below.

Last May hundreds of thousands of women and girls, along with the men and boys they love, in 75 countries and on all continents of the world stood together in parks, on beaches, in churches, at graduation ceremonies, in their backyards and at school yards or anyplace they could find to stand in a global wave of humanity in support of a better world for our children.

We invite women and their families everywhere to take this "stand" with us again, on May 11 at 1 p.m. local time for just 5 minutes, to rekindle the world with our common vision.

We stand for the world's children and grandchildren, and for the seven generations beyond them.
We dream of a world where all of our children have safe drinking water, clean air to breathe, and enough food to eat.
A world where they have access to a basic education to develop their minds and healthcare to nurture their growing bodies.
A world where they have a warm, safe and loving place to call home. A world where they don't live in fear of violence-in their home, in their neighborhood, in their school or in their world.
This is the world of which we dream.
This is the cause for which we stand.

To learn more and register your standing, go to the Standing Women website at http://www.standingwomen.org/

What do I stand for?

I stand for the people who suffer from prejudice and bullies' attacks. I stand for the kids who aren't accepted for who they are because they're "different". I stand for people who feel oppressed by the societies' standards who feel forced not to follow their own hearts' callings or their conscience. I stand for the spirit of love, of giving people a chance, of realizing that we're all somehow connected in this big big world.

Notes to Self #1

1. I don't understand people who bully other people. Even though there were definitely groups in the schools where I went to in Bandung, there were never any bullies there. I've heard that bullies are the products of their parents' upbringing as well, but still I just don't understand people who bully other people in front of everybody to make themselves feel better, bigger, bolder, braver, etc.

Yes, I've seen plenty of bullies in Hollywood movies, but it still doesn't penetrate the grey cells in my brain. Or maybe it's because I live in a country where it's better to talk about somebody behind his/her back instead of face-to-face or in public places. After all, most people who are brought up in Indonesia aren't taught to speak up in the classroom. False humility is one of the things that is cultivated in Indonesia. At least that's what I think.

2. In pursuit of becoming wiser, faster, better, more knowledgeable, more skillful, I find that it has to be balanced with the ability to accept oneself despite oneself, despite the fact that you're NOT THERE YET. Otherwise you'll never feel that you're enough.

I know it's GOOD that humans have the drive to be wiser, faster, better, more knowledgeable, more skillful, but then again, if they can't accept themselves, what good would all those knowledge and skills be?

Over and over again learning balance has proven to be one of the most difficult, yet essential things on earth.

3. I think one of the toughest things about being parents is the feeling that you're not good enough. A friend of mine recently experienced such feelings since she read a book and she couldn't do what the book said. I think it's tough to know the best way to take care of your babies when they're still too young to speak, especially if it's your first baby and you don't have much help. When you lack too much sleep, it's SO easy to think negatively and to be stressful.

4. I was SO curious about seeing actual labour that I decided to look up some videos at youtube and I found that all of them were...BEAUTIFUL!!! ;-D Hubby shuddered when I told him about this, though HUA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...Ahem!!!

5. Before I moved to Finland, I had read other expats' experiences in Finland Forum. Half of them complained about the weather and the long dark period. I had prepared myself for the worst when I moved to Finland, especially about the long dark period. However, I find that it's not that bad. It's actually enjoyable for a sleepyhead like me, since when it's dark outside, I don't have to close the curtain or blinds in order to take a nap. Besides, since there's plenty of snow for months, it doesn't really get THAT dark here in Finland. ;-D

Life has been WONDERFUL to me................

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