Wednesday, May 26, 2010


My friend's son has been bullied by a classmate. They're only 4-years-old, can you believe it? The bully bites him, hits him, slaps him until my friend's son had nightmares. He was delirious in his sleep, saying the bully's name over and over again until he wet his bed, even though he had learnt not to wet his bed when he was 1-year-old already. He was also reluctant to go to preschool anymore 'coz of that.

When my friend confronted the teacher, the teacher said that they were trying to have the child go to a therapist to help him channel all his energies. When my friend confronted the bully's mother, the woman simply said, "Why don't you teach your son to defend himself?" friend didn't want to teach his son to hit him back or do something like that, so at first she told him to just shout so loudly when the bully tried to do something bad so that the teacher would pay attention to them. So the son did just that, but then the teacher reprimanded them both and they both got punishment. And since then the son didn't dare shout anymore. Another ugh, right?

Another mother in the school was once in the same car with the bully and his mother and for some reason, the bully's mother was angry, so she slapped the son and you know what the son did? He slapped her back. So it seems that this bully has been conditioned to think that hitting or slapping or biting others is OK 'coz he can even do it to his own mother.

Long story short, my friend asked the school so that next semester her son could be put in a different classroom (moving him to a new school would be tough 'coz it's gonna be expensive and who knows if there're other bullies out there either, right?). She's also told her son to stay the hell away from that bully as much as possible at school.

She's torn inside 'coz she feels that by telling his son to do that, it may send a signal to the son that he's weak and he doesn't have any strength. However, I think it's a smart move. I mean, let's face it: in real life we can't get along 'coz we'll bound to meet people with whom our relations feel like oil and water, right? If we can avoid spending time with people that "rub us the wrong way", isn't that wise to do so?

I welcome any POV from anyone, though...I wanna know what you think. If your child's bullied, what would you do?

P.S. On a brighter note, today I got LOADS and LOADS of kisses from two kids HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...My, that felt SO GOOD! :-D


  1. A good easy solution. It would be hell for the little one to keep being bullied. I think I would have done the same.

    - But of course, the bully will just choose another victim :(

  2. I was bullied when I was younger. As for the kid you are talking about, I think I would put MORE pressure on the school to do something. Yes, hopefully this child will be able to move out of the class where the bully is.
    Bullying is an unfortunate reality. It happens in all nations, in many schools. They are trying to do more about it in certain places in the US which is good. They even have cyberbullying now and some teens have actually committed suicide over harassment they get on the Internet from other "cyberbullies".
    Anyway, the 2 solutions is to fight back (but some have a philosophic problem doing that) but it is effective, or to make the school do something about it, but in that case you no longer control the situation you give it up to the school. & hopefully, the school will do something.
    It's terrible and it crushes the feelings of the person who is bullied :(... !

  3. Rita: Yeah, it's a really vicious cycle. It's hard if the boy's parents don't try to teach the boy how to behave. Sigh...

    Vince: Yeah, I can't imagine the boy's feelings. I don't want to interfere too much with my friend's decision. Some of my friends have given her some advice. I respect her decision and I just hope it works out for the best for her son. I can only pray that God heal her son's inner wounds.

  4. Hey Amel,

    I would teach my kid how to kick that bully's ass from morning till night (without being caught). And then I would personally go to his mother and sort it out.

    I am against violence, but if there are parents that do not do their job; I'll be dammned if I'll let my kid suffer (any more than he already has too [life is pain, like Buddha said]).

    Have a great weekend, girl!

  5. Max: I understand your POV. One friend of ours has suggested that maybe her son should go to a self-defence classes or something just so he can defend himself, not so that he'd attack other people. But it's all up to my friend (the mother's son). You too, have a GREAT weekend, Max!

  6. My son used to be bullied in primary school and one day, I waited for the bully and spoke to him very firmly and sternly. He stopped picking on my son after that.

    Maybe your friend can arrange with the teacher to meet the little boy face to face without his parents. Ask the teacher to leave your friend and that bully alone in a room. Your friend should be very stern with him. I think he will be afraid. He's only 4 years old afterall.

  7. Blur Ting: Glad to hear that after you confronted the boy, he stopped picking on your son. The thing is, my friend doesn't really like confrontation (she's such a gentle person and it's gonna be hard for her to be very stern to anyone). So I just hope for the sake of the son, the bully stops pestering him.