A Short Reflection

It's kinda ironic to know that some people are oblivious as to why their adult kids won't visit them more often. They get upset 'coz of this, even though from my eyes it's very clear why the kids are reluctant to visit them. It's maybe because the atmosphere in the house isn't really inviting for the adult kids to WANT to visit them often. Or maybe the parents are too involved in the kids' lives (whenever they meet, the kids are always told what to do with certain areas in life, etc.). Or the parent keeps on yapping whenever they meet or there can be many numerous other reasons.

In the end, unfortunately, the vicious cycle continues...the upset parent (or parents) complains when the adult kids do visit and says something like this, "Ah, we've got a long lost visitor (insinuating that now they've become "strangers", so to speak)." After hearing that over and over again, the kids feel less and less desire to visit the parents...and it only gets worse and worse.

It's human nature, I guess. It's MUCH easier to put the blame on someone else rather than look in the mirror at yourself and see what's wrong with yourself that may be causing the distance between you and your own kids.

Bullies

My friend's son has been bullied by a classmate. They're only 4-years-old, can you believe it? The bully bites him, hits him, slaps him until my friend's son had nightmares. He was delirious in his sleep, saying the bully's name over and over again until he wet his bed, even though he had learnt not to wet his bed when he was 1-year-old already. He was also reluctant to go to preschool anymore 'coz of that.

When my friend confronted the teacher, the teacher said that they were trying to have the child go to a therapist to help him channel all his energies. When my friend confronted the bully's mother, the woman simply said, "Why don't you teach your son to defend himself?"

Ugh...my friend didn't want to teach his son to hit him back or do something like that, so at first she told him to just shout so loudly when the bully tried to do something bad so that the teacher would pay attention to them. So the son did just that, but then the teacher reprimanded them both and they both got punishment. And since then the son didn't dare shout anymore. Another ugh, right?

Another mother in the school was once in the same car with the bully and his mother and for some reason, the bully's mother was angry, so she slapped the son and you know what the son did? He slapped her back. So it seems that this bully has been conditioned to think that hitting or slapping or biting others is OK 'coz he can even do it to his own mother.

Long story short, my friend asked the school so that next semester her son could be put in a different classroom (moving him to a new school would be tough 'coz it's gonna be expensive and who knows if there're other bullies out there either, right?). She's also told her son to stay the hell away from that bully as much as possible at school.

She's torn inside 'coz she feels that by telling his son to do that, it may send a signal to the son that he's weak and he doesn't have any strength. However, I think it's a smart move. I mean, let's face it: in real life we can't get along 'coz we'll bound to meet people with whom our relations feel like oil and water, right? If we can avoid spending time with people that "rub us the wrong way", isn't that wise to do so?

I welcome any POV from anyone, though...I wanna know what you think. If your child's bullied, what would you do?

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P.S. On a brighter note, today I got LOADS and LOADS of kisses from two kids HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...My, that felt SO GOOD! :-D

3BT: Random Days

1. Being back home, doing our usual routine again after a nice holiday.

2. Getting free accommodation for a week after we got news that all the flights to Finland were cancelled and we could also move all the flights to another date without any problem.

3. Hubby for helping me with the dishes and laundry.

4. One kid jumped into my arms (actually climbed into my arms) and kissed my cheek a few times and on a different day, he licked both my cheeks!!! :-D And we had fun when I twirled around a few times with him in my arms. :-D

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5. Another one wanted to jump into my arms, too, so I let her. :-D What a joy to be able to hold a child in your arms! :-D

6. Reading a book for one kid yesterday and we had small chit-chats in between.

7. Being able to go to my in-laws again and spend a nice day with them.

8. Seeing the kids in their different costumes yesterday on Labour Day at the daycare. They were all SO CUTE!!! :-D Some had wings, some dressed like princesses, etc.

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9. Finding cheap socks on a discount in Crete, so I bought 5 pairs 'coz I KNOW I'm going to use them all here in Finland. Each pair cost only 1 Euro and they are cute! :-D

10. Buying three novels during my holiday (two in English, one in Finnish) HUA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...

11. Wii game night with bro-in-law and girlfriend yesterday. We played golf for a few hours and only went to sleep at around 3.30 am HA HA HA HA HA...

12. Wii eve with hubby on Thursday and then having a sauna afterwards - we laughed a lot while gaming together. We hope to continue this habit 'coz we both want to lose some weight.

13. The kids seemed to be happy playing with the sea shells I bought from Crete as a souvenir for them. :-D

14. Found yam in the supermarket and now I'm trying out my Mom's dessert recipe using yam. Hope it turns out well! ;-D

Competitive Nature

It's funny when we hear kids talk about simple stuff. Here's an example of a conversation that I sometimes hear in the daycare (just an example):

X: "I invited 10 people to my birthday party."
Y: "Really? I invited 18 people."
Z: "Oh yeah? I invited TWENTY people!"
U: "I invited A HUNDRED people!"
P: "I had a hundred and FIVE guests!"
X: "I had A THOUSAND!" ---> notice that this is the first kid that started the whole thing.

Then it would keep going on and on and on if one of us hadn't stopped them by saying something like: "Okay, enough competition! Now back to...(whatever it is they were doing before)"

When did we learn to be so competitive? Is it ingrained or did we learn it from adults (from our interaction with them or from their interaction with others)?

I wouldn't really categorized myself as a very competitive person. I think I have just a little competitive side, but not too much. I mostly felt more competitive when I was still at school (usually about grades), but now I'd love to think of competing with myself - trying to be an even better version of me, because we all learn at different paces and we all learn differently 'coz life throws us different challenges/problems.

What do you think, people?

Happy Easter!

Just wanna say to everybody who's celebrating it:


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Yesterday at the daycare a priest visited us to talk to the kids about Jesus, His death, and His victory over death. The teacher had been teaching the kids some Easter songs and she'd also been reading about Jesus to the kids. It was funny when the priest started talking to the kids, some of them butted in 'coz they wanted to share what they knew he he he...Some of the workers there had decorated the gym hall to symbolize Jesus' journey - from the last supper to the cross to the tomb until He rose again.

After the priest said that she wouldn't give any of her children as a saviour over mankind's sins, one kid asked, "Then why did He do it?" The priest said, "Because God loves us so much."



Funny thing was that one kid said, "But I would give my own kids to save mankind" HE HE HE HE HE HE...

And then there was also a talk about heaven and one kid said that he would bring all his earthly stuff to heaven - as well as his pets (and then the other kids started talking about what they wanted to bring to heaven) HI HI HI HI...The priest of course explained that in heaven there would be no need for material things 'coz it'd be so much more beautiful than earth. It was endearing to see some of them getting really excited talking about Jesus and answering the priest' questions and asking her questions.

Anyhow, we're not doing anything much 'coz R2 has to be on-call again until Monday, but we'll still drop by at my in-laws' tomorrow as usual. We're just taking it easy before our Crete trip next weekend. WOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! :-D

Ups and Downs

I'm not talking about my mood here, but the challenges at the daycare he he he...These past two weeks even the teacher said that there've been quite challenging kids. I mean, those kids who didn't use to give any trouble have now been acting out. I guess it's just a phase in their development. I'm still having trouble trying to control them, so THANK GOD the teacher is always ready to help out in disciplining them. My brain and mouth coordination is still rather slow, so I have to learn from watching her discipline them and try to remember so that next time something similar happens, I can act more quickly.

I've also had a little talk with the teacher when the kids were outside. She asked me if I had problems and I mentioned to her about how some of them didn't seem to obey my words. She said that it was normal 'coz they were all in the phase where they loved challenging adults to find out their boundaries. I just had to continue trying to discipline them and never give in. She also gave me some tips on how to deal with them. COOL!!!

Other than that, though, today I got a nice surprise 'coz when I first arrived, one boy ran towards me and hug me! What's surprising was that I had always felt that he was the toughest one to get close to. The first few times we were together there, it seemed that he was rather "cold" to me - not really cold, but keeping some distance. So I wasn't really expecting a hug from him, though I wouldn't be surprised getting hugs from some other kids.

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I'm looking forward to this week's long weekend 'coz then I have time to complete my small project. I've been browsing for some homemade games that I can bring to the classroom and I haven't had enough time or energy to complete it 'coz it's been snowing a lot and I cleaned up the snow on Sunday and also yesterday.

Funny thing was that time flies SO fast when I'm busy outside. On Sunday I was outside for almost 2 hours!!! I guess in a way it didn't feel like a long time 'coz it was cold, so I didn't feel that I was sweating, though in actuality I did sweat a lot. That's also one reason why I haven't been doing any Taebo or Zumba lately. I've had enough exercise already he he he he...It's good in a way that I can eat more without worrying about any weight gain HO HO HO HO HO...I'm a food lover, so you know how happy I am to be able to eat more! :-D

I'll blog-hop later. Right now I need to eat and then cook and continue reading a Finnish chicklit (my third novel!!!).

3BT: Random Days

1. Had a short conversation with two strangers that I passed by on my way to the daycare. It felt GOOD to chit-chat with strangers - something I had NEVER done before in my entire life! ;-D GO ME!!!

2. Running into this guy that worked in the city hall when I was working at the library. This guy has always had a smile on his face and it's always a PLEASURE to meet him. One time I even started a conversation with him on my way back home from the daycare. :-D

3. Hubby bought chili dip to eat with chips 'coz he knows how much I love chili. Honey, you're THE BEST!

4. Making funny faces with some of the "little people" in the daycare and playing Play Doh with them. It's FUN to play and be playful! :-d

5. This upcoming Friday we're planning on a "passion getaway" (read: a cheap getaway) to the cabin. Can't wait for it!!!

6. My colleagues said that I had done a good job in playing with the kids. --- though I know I can't do some things as well as they do (due to language limitations), but at least I know I've done something right and I'm thankful for their verbal confirmation.

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7. Warm milk tea with honey on a cold day.

8. Having a good, reliable second-hand bike (esp. 'coz I can't drive) - it's very handy when I need to buy groceries and I can put them in the bags behind me (esp. 'coz now we live a little bit farther away from the city centre compared to our ex-apartment).

9. Hubby - for putting up with me after all this time, for being SO patient, for never pushing the wrong buttons in me, for making me like myself more when I'm with him.

10. Holding hands with hubby EVERY SINGLE TIME we watch something together - this habit still continues until now. :-D

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11. Today when I said goodbye to everybody, a little girl jumped onto me to give me a hug (I knelt down right away when I realized she wanted to do that) and another boy jumped over and another one followed suit. I toppled over backward and managed to make a table shift over at least 10 cm away due to the kids' attack HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...but it made my heart SO warm! :-D

12. Seeing an older boy helping the youngest girl with her zipper. If I were his Mom, I'd have felt SO proud of him - he's so helpful even without being asked! :-D

25 Degrees of Separation

Monday was quite a day. I woke up and the thermometer showed -30'C. I knew it'd be MUCH warmer during the day when I got back home from work, so I decided to ride my bike to work. It was such a STRUGGLE. My bike and my legs felt so stiff and it was hard to breathe properly. I had to stop A LOT on the way. The trip that usually took around 10-15 minutes stretched to 20-22 minutes. Phew!

When it was time for me to go home, the sun was shining beautifully and the temperature was around -5'C. It's kinda crazy sometimes 'coz I had to dress up really well in the morning, but when I rode my bike home, I felt hot, hot, hot he he...

I've been racking my brain to think of some simple activities for kids to try at the daycare. I've been racking my brain to think of some simple activities for kids to try at the daycare. I printed out some coloring pages and also some "find the differences" games, though the "find the differences" game is more suitable for the older kids rather than the smaller ones. I tried giving the older ones this type of game and it went pretty well - I only had to help a little bit by giving some clues. :-D

I've also brought some of my origami pieces to class, but I haven't managed to teach the kids how to do it - I've only managed to teach two adults how to do it and I also leave the instructions there. I know some of them are probably too hard for the young kids and even perhaps the older ones, but at least one adult is planning to teach the kids in the other classrooms (6-7 years old) how to make paper cranes. :-D

Working in a daycare makes me realize even more what a HUGE responsibility and honour it is to be near kids - whether you're the parent or teacher or daycare worker. Every day is different 'coz the number of kids each day is different. Every day there are a combination of different moments: sad ones (sometimes it happens when one parent drops a child off and the child wants to cling on him/her), funny ones, enlightening ones, challenging ones, frustrating ones, relaxing ones, chaotic ones.

Anyway, I want to go to the cabin sometime, but not sure when. We'll see. I wrapped up R2's gift a few days ago and showed it off to make him curious (he can only open it on Sat). He said I was cruel HA HA HA HA HA...ahem...on Saturday we'll also buy some flowers for MIL 'coz yesterday was her 66th birthday. :-D

I'll blog-hop later on...now I'm a bit sleepy he he...

Kids and Their Potential

I must say that after helping out at the daycare for almost 2 weeks now, it's been quite an experience. Every day is different and sometimes in the mornings everything can be pretty quiet, but then something happens during the day - there've been wonderful moments, fun times, heartwarming moments as well as exasperating ones. Dealing with little humans is definitely TOUGH, esp. 'coz some kids can't get along well if they're put together in the same room - it's understandable given their different personalities, but they have to learn to behave and control themselves so that they can live in harmony with other people later on.

Today there was a little fight between two boys and one of them cried. The guilty one apologized and the other one accepted the apology in between sobs and watery eyes. I was amazed at how easily the crying boy accepted the apology...and it reminded me of my own childhood where I held grudges so easily due to my sensitive nature - what a difference!

But then again everybody is different and they have different "weaknesses" to handle. Some kids at the daycare are so easy to handle. They never give us any problems and they cooperate very well to the schedule. Some are tougher to handle and that makes me realize even more how VERY HARD it is to raise kids (not just feeding them). You've gotta know each of their personalities and you've gotta know how to handle each of them. I've been a bit tired this week 'coz I have to learn to know when to be "strict" and when to be "less strict" with them (I'm still confused where the line is). It's easier to deal with the kids one-on-one, but once they're playing together, anything can happen!

It's not easy for me to learn to be strict and I'm still lousy at it. I don't know why but when I tried being stern to stop them from playing around too much, even when I gave them my stern stare and I didn't smile along when they kept on playing around, they didn't obey me as well as they obeyed my colleagues. Crazy thing was that I told R2 about this problem and I showed him my stern stare, but it only made him laugh like crazy. GRRRRRRRRRRR...He said I was too sweet to look stern. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...in other cases I'd consider that a compliment, but this would be problematic if I can't make them feel that I have some authority there. But anyway, I'm learning the art of being strict bit by bit ha ha ha ha ha...

I remember when I was a private English tutor, one day I got a problematic student who just didn't want to cooperate. When I asked him to read some text or do his tasks, he'd just smile at me playfully and disobey me. After some time, their parents decided to put him into a kind of language course 'coz I just couldn't handle the brat well enough to make him do what I wanted him to do.

One thing I realize even more from this training is that each child has different potential. I met one boy who wowed me yesterday 'coz he could create VERY creative and complex Lego "star ships" (without looking at any guidebook whatsoever - he just did it on his own in the playroom and he shared his creations with other kids). He's either almost 7 y.o. or he's already 7 years old. I went speechless when I saw his creations. I myself, even now, can't imagine making creations like that with Lego pieces. It's just beyond me...

I was talking to my colleague about this and she said that the boy's grandpa loved creating stuff and he'd been showing the grandson how to create stuff when they spent time together. Ahhhaaaa...now I understand where it all came from...he's probably gifted in that area (3D), but he's also got plenty of exercise with his grandpa. I can actually imagine him in the future, creating real 3D stuff - either buildings or sophisticated planes or whatever. I remembered to give him a compliment on his skills today (yeah, this is also something I'm learning to say to each kid after they do something well). I hope he realized that I really meant what I said. :-D

Anyway, that's the update about my training. I'm gonna blog-hop later this week.

3BT: Random Days

1. Hearing this conversation between a 4-year-old and a 5-year-old while they were flipping over the pages of a toy brochure:

5yo: "I want this kind of toy."
4yo: "Me too! I also want it, too."
5yo: "But I said it first!"
4yo: "But anyone can buy it from the store."
5yo went silent after that...

LOLLLLL!!! GREAT argument, 4-year-old! :-D

2. Having a one-on-one conversation with a 5,5-year-old boy and we had great fun. It was great that he responded to me well and he even gave me elaborated answers and he showed me the kinds of things he could do.


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3. R2's birthday present is ready - actually several small, inexpensive gifts and today I found the rest of them while browsing in a store. All I need to do now is wrap them in one package and put it somewhere where R2 can see so that he'll be CURIOUS HA HA...(P.S. His bday is March 20th).

4. We've booked the final plane tickets and a hotel for our 7-day trip to Crete next month and I've also told my boss and the unemployment office about this, so all we need to do is pack and leave next month HO HO HO HO HO...

5. Planning to eat some cappuccino ice-cream later this evening - after I cleaned up some snow from the yard (yes, it snowed again today for a while) and I also did some Taebo, though not too rigorously.



6. Enjoying my training and being with the kids and getting to know them.

7. I've been pretty successful in battling negative, criticizing thoughts and being my own best friend and life couldn't be better! :-D

8. I've finished reading the third Finnish novel and now I have to choose another book to read. WHOOOPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

9. I still have a stack of Finnish novels/books to read 'coz weeks ago I found cheap ones at the library and also at the flea market HO HO HO HO HO...LOVELY!!!

10. Having a hubby whom I can give a massage to after he cleared up plenty of snow from the roof and he was experiencing some back pain.



11. Having wonderful coworkers who guide me gently and who set good examples for me to copy ('coz sometimes I don't know how to handle a situation).

12. Having a smart, thoughtful, and loving MIL. She gave me some baking tips and then she said, "I hope you're not angry that I'm giving you tips. I'm sure you'll be an excellent cook/baker after you do lots of experiments."

13. A bottle of pine tree smell for sauna that I bought. I LOVE its smell while we have sauna. :-D

Today's Highlights

It's hard to be fair to all the kids in the daycare 'coz some kids are more vocal when they demand your attention more than some others who are more shy and quiet. I'm learning to spend my time with different kids, but it's rather hard to get closer to the ones who don't seem to be interested in spending time with me. But then again that doesn't necessarily mean that they don't want to spend time with me, so I've gotta try anyway. I'm gonna try to talk more to the others to get to know them more. :-D



Highlights of today:

1. One boy insisted on my sitting next to him during lunch break, so I gave in he he...He's also greeted me with a hug this morning. :-D

2. Some kids were very interested in my lunch, 'coz I brought my own lunch. They wanted to know what it was HI HI HI...

2. When it was time for me to go back home, I was playing with three kids. One of them said to me, "You can't go anywhere!" Uh oh...

3. Another one held up both her arms (I was standing near her) while moving her legs up and down excitedly, so I knelt down and she gave me such a strong hug that I almost fell backward (I didn't expect that kind of strength 'coz she was such a tiny girl). After that strong hug, I stood up and she tapped my butt a few times while saying, "Okay, go now, go now, go now" with a smile on her face. :-D ---> It brings such pleasure to make a little kid smile. :-D



Oh brother...those of you who have kids are REALLY lucky, even though bringing up kids is one of the toughest tasks on earth. One thing I LOVE about the job is getting free hugs from the kids - the unexpected ones he he...:-D

Hectic, Fun, Funny

I've been helping out at the daycare for 4 days now and every day I realize that each child carries potentials. If they take wrong decisions in the future, they can get into lots of trouble. I realize even more the roles of parents, teachers, daycare teachers or daycare nurses, or any adult available nearby. They would help shape the children when they're small.



Here are some things that have happened at the daycare:

1. The first day the smallest girl in the class didn't dare do anything much, but on the second day she'd poke me with her finger and then she'd want to sit on my lap. On the third day as well she sat on my lap a few times.

P.S. I found out later on that there was another small girl, but she only came today - the kids don't come every day so the number of kids in the classroom varies daily. I'm still somewhat confused with some of their names, esp. those who've only come once or twice (those who don't come every day). It's easier to remember the girls' names 'coz they have different hair, but it's harder to remember the boys' names 'coz there are many more boys there.

2. On the second day, one boy (not the boy I mentioned in my earlier post) hugged me with both arms when I came into the classroom - when I said "good morning" to everybody. That day he kept on hugging me every now and then with both arms - and he'd do that for a few seconds at a time (not a rushed hug).

3. One boy asked me to read a story from a book he chose, but a few minutes later he lost interest ha ha ha...another one did the same and again it happened. He then asked another girl to play My Little Pony with him in the corner and when I approached, he told me, "You can't play with us. Go away." LOL LOL!!!!!

4. There have been some hectic moments when some kids quarrel and I have to think first on what to say 'coz I have to understand the situation first - it's not easy to understand what the problem is when two or more kids complain about something at the same time - in FINNISH! So usually I end up letting the teacher or the daycare nurse take care of the situation 'coz they can understand the situation faster than me he he...

Other than that, I think the situation is still under control. One of the helpers there ends her training tomorrow, so we'll see how I manage to take over once she's gone he he...but I've been enjoying myself and I look forward to going there every day. I call one boy The Smiling Boy (I didn't say this out loud to him or anyone else except R2) 'coz whenever our eyes meet, he'd give me the BIGGEST GRIN ever. I LOVE seeing his face he he...



It's interesting to see different personalities in the classroom. One boy is a sore loser. When there was a race outside the other day, he came back sulking and pouting and almost crying and saying to the teacher about the winner, "He's stupid!" Of course the teacher reprimanded him, but I guess he'll have to be taught about "playing is not all about winning" over and over again 'coz today during "gym" he also got upset when he lost...oh dear hi hi...it's funny but also understandable in a way.

I haven't had time to blog-hop 'coz I get tired after coming back home and then every other day I have to cook and sometimes go to the supermarket first, so I just don't want to do anything much. But I promise I'll blog-hop during the weekend, OK? I should also clean up the house tomorrow. I've got a stack of dirty dishes in the kitchen, but I don't want to deal with them yet he he he he...

A Little Princess

The other week I ran into a neighbour. This person happened to teach us something on our Finnish course, as well. She's known R2 for years and years. That day she was with her granddaughter. The granddaughter's name is Milena and she's around 4 years old.

Since we live nearby each other, we walked home together from the supermarket. On the way home, Milena told her grandma, "Grandma, grandma, I have a wish!"

Her grandma asked, "What do you wish for?"

Milena answered, "For you, I wish for hair!"

Grandma replied, "Okay, and what do you wish for your Dad?"

Milena answered right away, "A sword!"

Grandma asked again, "What do you wish for Amelia? This woman is Amelia." (she pointed at me)

Milena thought for a little while and said, "A BIG SNOUT!" (she specifically mentioned a reindeer snout)

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!

Her grandma once told us in the classroom that one time they were playing together. Milena had a magic wand and she twirled it around grandma's head and said, "You'll change into a frog. You'll change into a frog."

When the grandma didn't change, Milena then decided, "Grandma, I think this wand is broken. It's not working."

Oh dear he he he he....

Kids can be SO VERY FUNNY he he he he he...Sorry I haven't blog-hopped. Been SO BUSY today. I'll do it tomorrow, OK?

Some Christmas Pics

A few days before Christmas, in the library there was a puppet show and there were kids from one daycare coming to watch the show. There was supposed to be MANY more kids, but the kids from the other daycare didn't come due to some reason I didn't know.

Anyway, when they were waiting for the show to come, they browsed around the library and they were staring at me. LOL LOL LOL!!!

The puppet show is entitled "Oikea Joulu" or "The Real Christmas" and it's trying to focus that Christmas is not about gifts. My only complaint is that it didn't mention Jesus. Oh well...

Here are some pics of it:




Next pic: The same Christmas tree that they put last year he he he...but it's still nice to see it. ;-D


Last pic: The BEAUTIFUL chocolate that Michelle Colebourn made for us (all the girls that went to the pre-Christmas party). It was SO pretty that I didn't have the heart to eat it...she's SO talented!!!


I'll add more pictures tomorrow! ;-D

I Confess!!!

Michelle tagged me to do this meme. It was originally written by PV of "Finding Me".

Here are some of my confessions:

1. I get SO pissed off whenever someone (usually from Indonesia), says to me, "Hi, how are you. Oh, now you live in Finland? So far away from Indonesia. Are you pregnant already? Any kids?" I know those are just chit-chat questions, but I don't think it's good to ask about pregnancy or kids. After all, NOT everybody can get pregnant easily and NOT everybody plans on having kids right away. Besides, some people can't have kids. People have different situations.

I also get pissed off if someone tries to tell someone else, "It's better to have kids whose age difference isn't too big." So? Just because you believe something is good for your family doesn't mean it will be good for another family. It's all up to each family to decide whether or not to have kids, to have just one kid, or whatever...even though in the end it's all up to God.

2. I once lied to my teacher and she knew about it. But in the end I found out I wasn't REALLY lying after all. Confused? Here's the story. For my accounting classes in High School, I had to bring several notebooks plus some photocopies. One day I thought I had forgotten to bring one of the photocopies. I PANICKED, so I went to another classroom that had different schedule to borrow one from one of my friends there. Turned out I forgot that during that period of time, the time schedule per class was changed. So I didn't return it back to her on time, so she had to ask permission from the accounting teacher to go to my classroom to get back her photocopy. ARRRGGGHHHH indeed, right?

Then after that I got cold sweat all over me...so the teacher knew!!! After break came our accounting session and right from the start she asked anyone to admit if they had forgotten to bring their photocopy. I was such a coward that I didn't raise my hand even though she had known that I had forgotten it. I sensed that she had lost her trust in me right there and then. You know what was really crazy? When I got back home, I took out everything from my bag and the photocopy was LYING at the bottom of my bag, hidden by all the other books.

But what can I say to my teacher? I couldn't have told her about that fact as it was irrelevant. In her eyes, I had become a liar. *sob sob* I've never really said anything to her, but in this post I'd love to say SORRY to her for being such a coward. What I did was wrong, even though in the end I found out that I had brought the photocopy.

3. Same as Blur Ting, I don't thrive on criticism. I just shrink back when I hear criticism and I can really begin to curse myself over and over and over again because of that. I think I've learnt to stop cursing myself too long over the past few years...but I still think I can't handle criticism as well as some people do.

4. It's easier for me to remember faces than names. I forget many names of my ex university friends, but I still remember their faces.

5. I'm such a sleepyhead that I never really had problems going to sleep, except the few times when I drink too much coffee or when I have too many things in my mind (or during the time I tried working at a factory).

6. And again just like Blur Ting, I dislike big parties, esp. when I don't know many people there. That's why it's fine for me to go to a relative's wedding party even though it's a big party. At least then I can talk to some relatives of mine. But basically speaking, I dislike big parties when it's MY party.

7. I love talking one-on-one rather than being in a big group. If I am with a big group, esp. if most of them are Sanguine/Cholerics, then most of the time I get less chance to talk. When you talk one-on-one with someone, the conversation tends to be deeper and both parties can share more things than if you talk in a big group of people. Plus you get distracted easily when you're in a big group of people. A and B talk about something, C and D talk about something else, and the rest may talk about another topic. ARRRGGHHHH!!!!!! I thrive on QUALITY TIME, thank you very much he he he he...

8. I once conducted an experiment. To read the complete story, go here.

OK, I think that's enough for now. I'm going to blog-hop now. Didn't have time to do it yesterday. I've been busy, busy, busy. I'll tell you later, OK?

10 Years From Now

Inspired by Blur Ting's post entitled Daydream Believer, I decided to take the same route...to the imaginary land. Let's think of my life 10 years from now.

First of all, my Finnish would be good (or should be at least) by then. I can communicate pretty well with my parents-in-law and I've already produced at least one kid hi hi hi...Hopefully God will let me have my own kid. By then I think I'll be busy still being a mother, 'coz after all I'm only planning to have a kid in 2-3 years from now, so if my first kid is born 3 years from now, he or she'll only be around 7. Still a handful hi hi hi hi...Or I guess kids will always be handful no matter how old they get? Hmmm...I'm not a parent yet, so enlighten me, please? ;-D

Secondly, I'll be a Finnish citizen already by then. I have to stay here at least for 4 years without any long significant break and then pass my national Finnish exam before I can apply for citizenship. Applying for citizenship may take up to a year or more, but since we're talking about 10 years from now, I'm pretty confident that I'll be a Finnish citizen by then (with God's help 'coz you know how bureaucracy is!!!).

Thirdly, I'll be living in a bigger apartment obviously 'coz we'll have a kid or kids already. I hope the apartment is a one-floor apartment so I have no neighbours above or below me, just next to me.

Fourthly, I'll either have been able to get a steady income by blogging for money or by then I'll be able to get at least a part-time job here in Finland since my Finnish is enough to get by in work places. Honestly speaking, I think it's nicer to work from home, though, especially when it's cold outside ha ha ha ha ha...I've always been better at working alone. I've never survived in a real workplace (I tried working in a garment factory once, but it only lasted for 7 weeks - I'll tell you about this later someday).

Hmmm...what else? By then my book collection will be MORE than now. I had to leave almost all my books in Bandung when I moved here, so right now I only have 12 novels. I want to read MORE!!!

Last but not least...I hope in 10 years I'll have enough savings to visit my parents at least once (hopefully they'll still be alive). If this blogging for money works well, I'll be able to save money in a few years' to go back home. I do have untouched savings (MUST NOT BE WITHDRAWN at all costs), but that's for VERY URGENT matters, i.e. if for example my parents gets REALLY sick (or even worse), then I'll go back to Indonesia right away with that money. Gotta be prepared for urgent matters!!!

Other than that, 10 years from now, I hope I can keep on feeding my inner child and stay positive and enthusiastic. I hope I can keep on cherishing all the good things in life and I always remember to count my blessings instead of counting what I don't have. I hope I still have a WONDERFUL relationship with my husband and kids 10 years from now. I hope I continue growing together with my husband and our bond gets stronger and stronger. I hope I can continue surrendering to God and relying on Him. I hope I have grown wiser and gentler then (not bitter or cynical). I hope that I can still have all of your my blogging friends by then and that I can still have time to blog when my kids are in my life he he he he he he...I just wanna lead a good life and spread sunshine and laughter. :-))))

Ahhhhhh...I just LOVE daydreaming, don't you? ;-D

Pressures

I've been reading some sites on the pressure to be thin in Asia and it seems that they're all in agreement with one another.

A friend of mine who was considered medium-built in Indo moved to Holland a few years ago and since then she'd received so many compliments on being tiny (she's lost weight over the years, so she's now considered average-built in Indo). She said that whenever she went back home to Indo, again she felt the pressure to watch her weight more carefully since she didn't feel slim or tiny in Indo.

One of the things I "hate" in Indo is what they considered to be "normal chit-chat topics". The "normal chit-chat topics" would be:

1. Marriage:

In wedding parties, you'll hear that question: "When's YOUR turn?" (especially if you've got a boyfriend and you've been together with him for more than three years and you're both old enough to get maried)

When old friends meet one another (they're old enough to get married), then usually they'd start by asking, "So, what do you do now? Have you got married? Kids?"

The worst thing is that when you're single at the moment and people keep asking those questions to you. And then before you reach 30, your mothers become more and more worried about your life and then she starts introducing you to the sons of her friends or friends of friends. Well, I know that it happens to single guys, too...their mothers start panicking and ask around to find "potential" girls for their sons.

2. Kids: This is one of the most annoying "chit-chat topics" EVER!!!

Imagine that after just being married for a year, everybody starts asking, "When are you going to have kids?"

The situation gets worse if you're a Chinese and your husband is the first born child in his family and your in-laws are DYING to have a grandkid. YIKES!!! It gets even worse if your husband is also DYING to have a son whereas you're dying to have a daughter. It gets even worse if your husband THINKS there's something wrong with you since you haven't gotten pregnant yet even after a year trying and then he wants her to take some tests to make sure there's nothing wrong with you. It gets even worse if your mother starts pushing you to take the tests since your mother thinks that your in-laws are DYING to have a grandkid from you. And then it gets worse when everybody you meet (friends, relatives) starts asking the question. Pressure, pressure, pressure!!!

I mean, COME ON, give them a break! I've read somewhere that 80% of marriage couples who have sex regularly without any protection can conceive in a year and that 20% of them ARE NOT going to conceive within a year!!!

It's not over yet, you know? Then if your first kid's reached 1,5 years old, everybody starts asking, "When are you going to have the second one?" (gladly usually they stop there as they assume you'd want to have not more than 2 kids)

3. Weight:

Some people, upon noticing someone getting a bit plumper, say, "Hey, you've gained some weight, haven't you?" or "Hey, you look plumper!"

Nice going!!! I never really had a HUGE problem with my weight (initially), but after some people mentioned that to me, I started to think I were such a fat cow! I hated those remarks. Once I realized that they'd really gotten into my head, I was ANGRY!!! I was feeling okay with myself, but I let their remarks make me feel bad. That's NOT okay. I've been healthy and my weight is still within my normal body weight range. How dare I let them make me change my mind about it?

The funniest thing was when I contracted lymphoma tuberculosis and my doctor said that my normal weight should be 44 kg, whereas some people had told me that with that weight, I looked chubby. Right! Ever since then, I decided that I'd decide what the best weight range for me (HEALTHY weight range) and I'd exercise regularly and stay healthy and I wouldn't let anyone else make me feel bad about myself, INCLUDING MYSELF (as long as I'm healthy). Period.

And you what the worst thing is? It's that they DO NOT compliment you when you've lost the weight you've gained. I think my friend's right. She said that Asians didn't compliment a lot, whereas westerners did. After moving here to Finland, I've learnt to give more compliments than when I was back in Indo.

Well, speaking of weight, I read something that made me COMPLETELY shocked. It was an article written a few years ago, yet I think it's still relevant enough to link here.

Read here: Asia's Killer Diet Pills

Here's the headline: Singaporean actress Andrea De Cruz needed a transplant to save her life after the diet pills she took damaged her liver


This is also what I read here: Calorie Count Forum.

My mum would call me from Indonesia and ask "Are u thin or fat?" We are chinese, and it's important to be a perfect daughter.. I gained so much after I came to the States, I guess it has something to do with less pressure that we have over here.. Over there, I was 96 lbs and they can still call me chubby. :( I even feel afraid to go home because people always say: OMG What happen with u????? What did u eat???? I can't recognize u anymoreee

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A women I knew/know who is very wealthy and japanese has threatened to cut her 21 year old daughter out of her will if she doesn't lose X amount of weight in X amount of time. I was horrified when I learned this! Until this point I never knew how bad it really was for some in the culture.

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i also happen to be asian and have lived in both asian and western cities. local asian people can be so unforgiving sometimes. for example, my aunt from hk who had come to canada to visit me was like, "omg! your arms are so fat now! how much do you weight?" when i said 115, she was like, "omg, when did you hit 100? you were so skinny back there!"

i wanted to say '...yeah, that's cause i'm a grown woman now...not a kid.' it made me want to crawl into a hole and die.

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Last year I went to Bangladesh for my brothers wedding and they have the exact same mindframe and belief that being super skinny is beautiful.

I am a UK size 8 (considered to be quite small over here) but when I was in Bangladesh I was made to feel as though I was obese! No clothes would fit me and everywhere I went people just looked me up and down. Even my cousins who live there were horrible because I wasn't a size 0 and therefore I wasn't beautiful. They completely screwed me up mentally and I've only just got myself back on track (only took a year!).

Looking back, they are just a bunch of malnutritioned mini's and I can't compete with that. I'd rather eat healthily and be healthy than starve myself to be one of them.

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Hey another Asian here. I'm one of those out of the norm ones since i'm 5'11 and weight 140 to 150 lbs ( i dunno exactly how much i weight)

I agree that it's the type of food and cultural difference that makes Asians tend to be on the skinnier side. At least it's less likely to see a size 16 in Asia......Before i came to canada i weighted 130 lbs and i was 16...now i'm 27 and i've gained 10 or 20 lbs....i believe it's the food that's available to you....and eating has become a kind of social activity.

I know the media is pushing a lot of girls going insane because I'll be called VERY FAT if I lived in Hong kong. I wouldn't want to go out at all because I know i'll be pointed at....it's really frustrating but I am in that culture background and I know it doesn't make sense but I am trying my very best to lose that 10 or 20 lbs....*I was already tall when i was 16.*

It's funny that all my Canadian friends call me too skinny, but all my Honger friends say (or imply) that i need to lose some weight.

And in Diet Blog, Bijou wrote this in the comment section:

i just wanted to add that the pro-skinny culture in Asia (especially East Asia) is much more institutionalized and vicious than it is here in the U.S. the young women there are supposed to be thin and fair-skinned, but never muscular. dieting is advocated while muscle-toning exercise is discouraged. my own mother warned me of developing bulky calves after i started working out. thankfully, my calves only got leaner. i actually avoid traveling back to Asia because it's like the parting of the Red Sea whenever i walk down a sidewalk - i can almost hear people thinking "Big American girl coming through, make way!" keep in mind, i'm 5'2" and 103 lbs.

I'm not really sure what I want to say by writing this post. Just letting off some steam, perhaps. LOL!!!

Just one warning, though:

WATCH WHAT'S COMING OUT
OF YOUR MOUTH!!!

Ahem. That's all I wanna say, I guess. ;-D

Kids?

Last weekend Arttu's brother spent two nights at our place. He asked me about kids. He said that in the family there were two grandkids of their eldest brother, so he was wondering if we could contribute in giving grandkids to their parents, too. He said that it was too late for him. He was already 40 years old and no sign of a steady girlfriend yet. When I told him that we would probably be planning on having a kid in the next 2 or 3 years to come, he said, "ALLRIGHT!" It was funny to see that he was excited about it.

Then a few nights ago I told my hubby that I was actually scared of having kids. I was scared 'coz I knew everything'd change tremendously. However, I said that I didn't want to wait too long since we wouldn't know how fast God would bestow us with a kid after we decided that we would try to have one anyway, right? He said he understood. Then I said to him that I was SO curious about what our kid would look like. He said he felt the same way. The short conversation made me feel GLAD. I'm glad knowing that he's probably ready in 2-3 years. I want him to be ready before I'm ready to have kids. I want us to work as a team when the kid arrives. I want him to be ready to face massive changes in our life.

Speaking of kids, I'm actually awed since I DO feel the longing to have kids right now. I used to be a tomboy when I was a kid. There was a time when I hated being a girl. Why? Because I knew girls could get raped and pregnant due to being raped. Thus I hated being a girl. It might sound silly, but that was what I felt back then.

I was one of those girls who "blossomed" late. I never felt too feminine. I hated wearing frilly dresses. I hated wearing a skirt. I hated the fact that I got my period early (at least it was considered early for my generation). I got my first period when I was around 10 years old. When all the other girls and boys could run and play freely, I had to use that thick, uncomfy, not-too-absorbent sanitary napkin. And back then I bled A LOT. I mean REALLY A LOT!!! I had trouble with it until High School (big and huge blood stains on the back of my uniform). Gladly the amount of blood's reduced A LOT over the years and nowadays there are SO MANY thin, super absorbent, comfy, winged sanitary napkins. HURRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

Anyways, when I was in Elementary School, my Dad started the talk about "the most suitable age for girls to have kids". He thought that 25 was the ideal age to have kids. I've always been a rebellious person, so even then I countered him by saying, "I'll NEVER get married!" I remember my Dad panicking a bit, trying to tell me not to say such a thing HI HI HI...Yep, that's me!!! LOL!!!

Besides being tomboyish, among my close friends, I was the awkward one when it comes to being with kids. Most of them are so natural when they are around kids. So there was a time when I wondered if I would ever want to have kids. The answer came when one of my best friends got pregnant. She lived in Bandung, as well, so we kept on meeting each other almost every week or every second week. I was there during her pregnancy and when the baby was born, I visited her at the hospital with my Mom. That was the FIRST time in my life I felt something stirring inside me. Something akin to motherly instinct perhaps. It was the first time I wanted to have my own baby. It was one of those magical moments in my life when I felt SO feminine.

My other friends had had babies before that, but they never really made me want to have one. I don't know if it's due to the fact that I was there with that particular friend during her pregnancy (I saw all the USG pics and I could even touch her belly) or maybe it was just time for me to feel that instinct. I was simply speechless. It was MIRACULOUS!!! I still don't believe that the boy's now almost 2 years old and that he used to be as small as a peanut!!! Isn't it amazing?

Another thing that I've been worried about when it comes to having kids is how to teach them morality, religion, and all the good things in life. Seeing the state of the world today sometimes makes me feel scared of having kids. How do I know that I will raise good kids? How can I protect them from bad influences? How do I know how to set the limits for them?

Today I browsed through blogs and I found the answer that made me relieved. Jana from The Joy Box quoted her friend's words when she shared her worries about her daughter in her post entitled "Clay Under His Fingernails". Here's what God whispered to her:

"The clay of your daughter's being is under My fingernails. Love her as though you believe that and, in time, I will convince her of it. The world is groaning in pain. I plan on loving it, and I plan to do it in part through your daughter. I want you to take her out there, and introduce her to it. She's going to see and hear things that will break your mother's heart. And she's going to get hurt. But I'm preparing her for it now and I'm using you to help me. I can provide her with all the protection that is necessary when it's truly important (those times when you can't be there to do it), and wipe her tears better than you can. If I can use her for my purposes, I will bless her with joy that you cannot imagine. Are you going to trust Me?" (Kim in MO)

I sure do hope that one day God'll entrust me with my own kid or kids. When it comes to being a woman, now I'm GLAD I'm a woman since there's NO better feeling in the whole wide world when my man, lover, soulmate looks into my eye and tell me, "I love you. You're the best. You make me a better man." There's no better feeling than being a woman who's loved for who she is. Thus now I embrace my womanhood.

I LOVE BEING A WOMAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!

Ehem, OK, end of post before I get too excited. ;-D