Notes to Self #1

1. I don't understand people who bully other people. Even though there were definitely groups in the schools where I went to in Bandung, there were never any bullies there. I've heard that bullies are the products of their parents' upbringing as well, but still I just don't understand people who bully other people in front of everybody to make themselves feel better, bigger, bolder, braver, etc.

Yes, I've seen plenty of bullies in Hollywood movies, but it still doesn't penetrate the grey cells in my brain. Or maybe it's because I live in a country where it's better to talk about somebody behind his/her back instead of face-to-face or in public places. After all, most people who are brought up in Indonesia aren't taught to speak up in the classroom. False humility is one of the things that is cultivated in Indonesia. At least that's what I think.

2. In pursuit of becoming wiser, faster, better, more knowledgeable, more skillful, I find that it has to be balanced with the ability to accept oneself despite oneself, despite the fact that you're NOT THERE YET. Otherwise you'll never feel that you're enough.

I know it's GOOD that humans have the drive to be wiser, faster, better, more knowledgeable, more skillful, but then again, if they can't accept themselves, what good would all those knowledge and skills be?

Over and over again learning balance has proven to be one of the most difficult, yet essential things on earth.

3. I think one of the toughest things about being parents is the feeling that you're not good enough. A friend of mine recently experienced such feelings since she read a book and she couldn't do what the book said. I think it's tough to know the best way to take care of your babies when they're still too young to speak, especially if it's your first baby and you don't have much help. When you lack too much sleep, it's SO easy to think negatively and to be stressful.

4. I was SO curious about seeing actual labour that I decided to look up some videos at youtube and I found that all of them were...BEAUTIFUL!!! ;-D Hubby shuddered when I told him about this, though HUA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...Ahem!!!

5. Before I moved to Finland, I had read other expats' experiences in Finland Forum. Half of them complained about the weather and the long dark period. I had prepared myself for the worst when I moved to Finland, especially about the long dark period. However, I find that it's not that bad. It's actually enjoyable for a sleepyhead like me, since when it's dark outside, I don't have to close the curtain or blinds in order to take a nap. Besides, since there's plenty of snow for months, it doesn't really get THAT dark here in Finland. ;-D

Life has been WONDERFUL to me................

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