In the past even before we tried having kids (but especially when we were busy trying to have kids), there was always this thought at the back of my head that this blog of mine would be a kind of legacy for our kids, as well. I've written down so many things and memories, including our love story.
If I reread some of the older posts, the legacy tone kept on repeating itself in some posts. It used to be so painful, thinking of this loss, thinking of how much I would have wanted to share with our kids. It took a long time to let them go...Now that we've decided to live a life without kids, I have to renew my perspective on legacy. No matter how much earthly belongings we accumulate, they'll end up in other people's hands (not our kids' hands), so what would my legacy be?
I thought to myself, "Well, now this blog is my legacy to whoever is willing to read/listen. Proof of our existence. I hope that whoever has been reading has benefited from my posts, that they may learn from my mistakes, that they may be humoured/entertained by some of my posts, that they may feel less alone, that they can get a broader perspective in life by having read my perspective on things."
Now when I reread my older posts with the legacy tone, I don't feel the pain anymore. Instead, I feel that I've gone to the right direction - that when one can't change something, then one learns to surrender to it. Surrendering doesn't mean giving up. It means accepting the fact and learning to dance in the rain.
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1. Shaking my booty and belting my heart out when listening to love songs on Yahoo Messenger while cooking pancakes ha ha ha ha...It felt GOOOODDDD, babbbbyyyy!!! *grin*
2. Perfect timing for hubby to come home. Just a few seconds AFTER I finished making the last piece of pancake.
3. Hubby saying thank you after he finished eating a few pancakes with a big smile on his face HE HE HE HE...You're VERY WELCOME, Darling!!! ;-D
4. Tucking my hubby again on the sofa and seeing his eyes light up when I did that. AWWWWWWWWW........now I can imagine the joys of tucking up your own kids in bed HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...
5. My heart bursting out with emotions while listening to my fave love songs. Yeah, I'm a romantiiicccc, but I'm not a hopeless romantic, but it feels OOOHHHH SOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOODDDDD to listen to my fave love songs!!!!
6. Transferring money from Paypal (the money that I got from blogging for money) to my bank account. YEEEAAAHHH!!! After all, at the end of this month I have to pay €100 €120 (I just checked it and it's gone up!!!) to renew my residence permit HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...God's providence is REALLY incredible HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...
