I just had an interesting email convo with my closest friends regarding "being older" (particularly being in our 30's). A close friend says that being 30 is MUCH better than being a teenager, 'coz she questions herself less often and her "need to explain" is also less. Plus the confidence level is higher 'coz she cares less about what other people think compared to when she was a teenager.
I told her that my "need to explain" is still so big. I'm talking about "trying to make other people understand the details of my brain", the whys and wherefores. Nowadays I realize, though, that half of the reason why I'm still that way is more to understand myself than to make other people understand how my brain works. By "explaining" my train of thoughts to other people, it's easier to understand them - why I think/feel that way and what my exact feelings/thoughts are, what's causing me to feel/think that way, etc.
I thrive on understanding what my feelings are and why I feel this and that. I thrive on knowing exactly what they are. Whenever I feel troubled and I understand why I feel that way after pondering about it, I want to shout "Eureka" at the top of my lungs and I always have a huge smile on my face. True, my troubles aren't vanished by the enlightenment I get, but at least it helps me understand myself better, so it's easier for me to understand why for example I'm have strong feelings about something/someone/an incident.
In order to dig deeply, normally when everything seems tumbling down and I feel too much, I try to "separate" myself as though I were a witness of myself and my troubles. That way I can stand a little bit apart of myself in order to view the surrounding area better. I don't know if this makes sense to you or not, but that's just how my brain operates.
Anyway, here's one of the loveliest classic songs that I've been listening to tonight. Enjoy it!!!