Wednesday, October 12, 2011


One of the things I dreaded when I went to Indo the other month was who was going to come up with the "baby talk". I dreaded that 'coz I would never know how to deal with them: do I tell them the truth or do I just smile and say nothing? The truth would be too complicated to tell, but I did tell "the truth" to one person who finally mentioned "baby talk".

One neighbour, upon seeing us walk outside the house, said, "Going out? Hurry and make some babies!"

I stopped, smiled and said, "It's OK even if we'll never have babies."

You should've seen her face!!! She didn't see that coming! With a shocked look on her face, she quickly said, "DON'T SAY THAT!!!!! I'm gonna pray for you so that you'll have kids."

Deep inside I was sighing and rolling my eyes, but to her I just smiled and said, "Why, THANK YOU for your prayers."

Why is it so hard for people to understand that we're OK even though we have no babies? It seems that THEY are the ones who want US to have babies more than we do. Don't get me wrong, though, I DO appreciate them and I DO understand their wish for us, but why can't they understand that it may not be what we want anymore? It almost makes us feel that we're not "complete human beings" without kids in our life.

FYI, two relatives hugged me upon saying goodbye, rubbed my belly, and whispered, "I'm praying for you to have babies."

OK, that's all good...but my cynical mind thinks, "If God says no, no matter how many times you pray, you won't see the result that you're wishing for." That's why I asked my closest friends for God's peace beyond understanding instead of asking them to pray for us to have kids.

One close friend told me, "You shouldn't have said that to the neighbour. You should've just smiled and said nothing."

Maybe she's right. I begin to feel that there's no use trying to make them understand our situation anyway. Oh well...


  1. Mel, HUGSSSSS. Totally understand what you write here. Sigh ... I hope people will just learn to be quiet. I really do. Gak akan habis2 dah kalo di Indo mah. Belon punya anak, ditanyain kapan mau punya ank. Udah punya anak, ditanyain kapan mau ngasih dd buat si anak. Kalo adopt, ditanyain macam2 mulai dari kenapa si biological mom hamil, kenapa dia ngasih anaknya ke org lain, dll dll dll. Puyenggg ... Kitanya jadi kudu belajar tutup telinga aja dah. guk guk mengonggong khalifah berlalu! Yg penting you are at peace aja dah, org lain mau ngomong apa, terserahhhh -.-'

    Beberapa hari lalu, baru aja temen gw congratulate me about Sean. Trus, dia nyambung gini "Complete deh loe jadi cewek sekarang". *jedeng. capek deh ah* Trus ada satu lagi yg ngomong gini "Bisa hamil juga loe. Baguslah" *gubraks*Ini mau nyelamatin atau mau menohok orang yack. Mau jelasin the truth jadi males, gw log out aje hahaha

  2. @Shinta: Iya, gua lagi PMS nih, jadi aja bawaannya pengen curhat di blog ha ha ha...DOHHHHH banget itu yang temen loe ngomongin ke loe...wekkksss...

    Yep, lesson learnt. Next time mah gua cicing aja and kalo di online world sih mendingan ngabur aja tanpa komentar deh, walau kadang keluar urge buat "educate" the person (apalagi kalo lagi PMS) hi hi hi hi...

    Iya, emang belajar tutup telinga dan juga belajar mikir sebelom ngomong sih supaya gua sendiri hopefully ga ngomong sembarangan.

  3. Amel,

    First of all, you do not owe people any explanation (and trust me, I know how cultures like yours can be overwhelming) - just accept their blessings and walk away.

    Second, welcome back, girl!! :D

    Third, it's ok; everything is ok :D.

    Big hug!

  4. Tricky, personal, question hey. People mean well but it's your business. I think you handled it well. It's hard to know what to say for the best sometimes.

  5. You did well already! ^__^ I'm truly very proud of you!! *hugs*

  6. it's got to be hard, Amel. Sorry you have to deal w/ the awkward situation