"You won't get over this, but you will get through it."
The phrase "getting over" makes me feel like one needs to put an end to something. Close the book and forget about it already, why bring it up over and over again? I can't believe you're still writing the book and talking/wondering about the details after all this time.
I've never had anyone tell me per se to get over infertility, but I have felt some people getting uneasy about the fact that I keep sharing/talking about infertility-related issues. Probably because it makes them feel awkward and helpless, not necessarily because they don't want to listen to me.
Just like what Jean Vanier wrote: "As we approach people in pain, they reveal to us our pain and brokenness." - A Rebel for Peace, page 134-135
I have read several cases where the infertile was told harshly to "get over it" by some people/friends and I know how much it hurt (it would have hurt me greatly if someone had told me such a thing, especially when I was still in so much pain and confusion inside). Being invited to enter a place of pain isn't an easy thing to do - both for the one sending the invitation and the invited guest. Remember The Ring Theory when you're invited to enter someone's place of pain.
I still think it may be possible to get over infertility (specifically childless-not-by-choice) for some rare individuals. I've read several people who wrote that their infertility didn't have any impact on them (or not anymore at the very least). OK, granted I have no idea if they were telling the truth or not because they were just comments I read online below some infertility articles/blog posts, but I'd rather be open to that possibility considering the fact that I've read a similar message more than twice.
Out of curiosity, I checked out the meanings of "getting through" in an online dictionary and here are two descriptions that I think are suitable for my own journey:
1. Become clear or enter one's consciousness or emotions/to make someone (i.e. myself) understand something.
I have gained much more clarity about myself and I've learnt more about others as well during my infertility journey because I've had to face those jumbled feelings and thoughts and figure out which is which. I've had to stand naked in front of myself and God as well and learn that we're all connected and that we're only humans. I've had to cling to a very thin thread of faith even when my whole being is in a confused and angry state and I've been granted peace beyond understanding as a result of many people's prayers for me.
2. Succeed in reaching a real or abstract destination after overcoming problems.
The abstract destination is to find meanings to my infertility journey, to feel some serenity in chaos - even if it means we'll never have children. I've found several meanings to my infertility journey so far.
In the beginning of my healing journey, I was frustrated and I was wondering when I could see the end of this healing journey, when I'll get over it. But that has changed. It's been a long while since I've stopped thinking about when I'll get over infertility, because I have consciously chosen not to get over it. Why should I get over it? Infertility has shaped me in many unexpected ways and it has taught me many important lessons and I don't want to forget that I'm an infertile. Besides, I think my infertility journey is beneficial for others, too. And this way I can focus more on the lessons I can/need to learn as I continue my healing journey without the additional burden of having to reach a specific end.