Communication Styles

The other day I was talking to a friend via email about communication styles. Some people aren't that good at keeping in touch via emails (they're better at doing this over the phone or face-to-face). Some people are better at communicating via emails rather than face-to-face or over the phone. Some people are good at communicating using all those means of communication.

Personally speaking, I'm not too fond of communicating over the phone, except when it comes to talking to my friends or those people I know pretty well. If I have to call the authorities or do stuff like that, I feel more comfortable asking first via emails (if it is an option). First of all, it's easier to forget what I'm supposed to ask (if I have to ask about many things over the phone) and when you talk to someone over the phone or face-to-face, it's easier to lose track of what you really want to say 'coz the topics may change quickly depending on the other person's reactions/responses. Sometimes there are also other distractions in real life that halt the conversation even before it's finished.

When it comes to emails, for me it's a better way to express your ideas/thoughts in some ways 'coz you can focus on what you really want to say/ask. You can even review and rewrite your points/questions before sending it. The problem is whether or not the other party will read and reply it.

One friend of mine says that she prefers talking over the phone or in real life 'coz she wants immediate responses/answers. However, having lived apart from my family and friends, we've learnt to use email as a more frequently used media of communication. Up till now, I'm still not too fond of speaking over the phone, esp. if I have to use Finnish HA HA HA HA HA HA...

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Effective Communication

We communicate every day with other people. Everybody says that communication is very important in any type of relationship, but just how effective is it? 

In order to carry on an effective communication, first you've gotta know yourself. If you don't know what you're feeling and why you're feeling something, how can you explain that to another person? 

I remember one time when my mother had unbearable pain on the back of her leg again, I decided to ask my brother to take her to a doctor since our car was left in a rented garage. I didn't have the heart to ask my Mom to walk to the rented garage and back home, since she was obviously in GREAT pain. My brother's motorcycle was at home, so I thought she could just get on it and go back home fast.

Since it all happened in a hurry, we forgot to tell my Dad, who was at the time at the side of the house. When my Mom got back home, he yelled, "What are you trying to do? Kill me by giving me a heart attack?"

Yep...he was angry because he was SO worried (and it was my fault too for not telling him about the situation), but he said it in a way that made my Mom felt bad!!! This is not a good example of effective communication. 




A good example of effective communication would be like this, "I feel this and this whenever you do such and such..." instead of saying "YOU make me feel such and such..."

So, let's try to be more aware of the words that come out of our mouths. Remember that words can make or break a person...and it can heal or jeopardise a relationship.




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“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”
- Anthony Robbins

“Effective communication is 20% what you know and 80% how you feel about what you know.”
- Jim Rohn