In order to carry on an effective communication, first you've gotta know yourself. If you don't know what you're feeling and why you're feeling something, how can you explain that to another person?
I remember one time when my mother had unbearable pain on the back of her leg again, I decided to ask my brother to take her to a doctor since our car was left in a rented garage. I didn't have the heart to ask my Mom to walk to the rented garage and back home, since she was obviously in GREAT pain. My brother's motorcycle was at home, so I thought she could just get on it and go back home fast.
Since it all happened in a hurry, we forgot to tell my Dad, who was at the time at the side of the house. When my Mom got back home, he yelled, "What are you trying to do? Kill me by giving me a heart attack?"
Yep...he was angry because he was SO worried (and it was my fault too for not telling him about the situation), but he said it in a way that made my Mom felt bad!!! This is not a good example of effective communication.
A good example of effective communication would be like this, "I feel this and this whenever you do such and such..." instead of saying "YOU make me feel such and such..."
So, let's try to be more aware of the words that come out of our mouths. Remember that words can make or break a person...and it can heal or jeopardise a relationship.