Inappropriate Gratefulness

The other day a friend shared with me about this topic. She has been having problems having a child and she had at least one miscarriage in the past. She's been married for over 4 years. When she told another friend about her gyno's diagnosis, this woman (who's had 2 healthy kids) suddenly burst out, "Oh, I'm SO lucky that I didn't have to experience any morning sickness, bleeding, or miscarriage both times I was pregnant. Now I feel that God loves me SO much!"

Yep...you can imagine what my friend felt when she heard that outburst of gratitude. Of course it was logical for the woman to feel that way, but still it was really inappropriate to say those words, don't you think so?

When a person is hurting and needing comfort and sympathy, that person doesn't need more "knives" stabbing her already painful wounds. The story made me think, though. Have I ever done such a thing to anyone (whether I realize it or not)?

Words have power...to destroy, hurt, encourage, empower, challenge, criticize, praise, give comfort, etc. We may not be able to control what the other person thinks about the words said or written to him/her (because people can take even praise the wrong way), but still we need to be careful with our words.

Anyway, have a FAB weekend, everybody!!! I'll blog-hop a bit later on. Now time to make some baked pancakes I've been wanting to try HE HE HE HE HE...

glitter-graphics.com

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

Effective Communication

We communicate every day with other people. Everybody says that communication is very important in any type of relationship, but just how effective is it? 

In order to carry on an effective communication, first you've gotta know yourself. If you don't know what you're feeling and why you're feeling something, how can you explain that to another person? 

I remember one time when my mother had unbearable pain on the back of her leg again, I decided to ask my brother to take her to a doctor since our car was left in a rented garage. I didn't have the heart to ask my Mom to walk to the rented garage and back home, since she was obviously in GREAT pain. My brother's motorcycle was at home, so I thought she could just get on it and go back home fast.

Since it all happened in a hurry, we forgot to tell my Dad, who was at the time at the side of the house. When my Mom got back home, he yelled, "What are you trying to do? Kill me by giving me a heart attack?"

Yep...he was angry because he was SO worried (and it was my fault too for not telling him about the situation), but he said it in a way that made my Mom felt bad!!! This is not a good example of effective communication. 




A good example of effective communication would be like this, "I feel this and this whenever you do such and such..." instead of saying "YOU make me feel such and such..."

So, let's try to be more aware of the words that come out of our mouths. Remember that words can make or break a person...and it can heal or jeopardise a relationship.




glitter-graphics.com

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”
- Anthony Robbins

“Effective communication is 20% what you know and 80% how you feel about what you know.”
- Jim Rohn

Special "Vocabulary"

I noticed something when I met Arttu's two elder brothers. I've heard Arttu's special expressions and words and I found out that his brothers also have the same kind of "vocabulary". It's not easy for me to give an example, but I'm sure you also have specific expressions or words or phrases you use to describe something or words or phrases that you blurt out as a response to something that other people don't use, right?

Well, this reminds me of what my brother's wife's questions when she started to be his girlfriend and when she started to come to our house regularly. She kept on asking about some words or phrases that my brother and I used that she had never heard before. Or she might have heard those words or phrases, but the context was different.

Have you also noticed such a thing? That kind of "special vocabulary"? Sometimes you gather those words or phrases or even snippets of sentences by watching certain types of movies. For example, Arttu likes saying, "Man. Fell down. Funnyyyyy!" (he learnt it from Homer Simpson). His second brother also likes saying this every once in a while he he he...

My brother and I also have a collection of vocabulary that may only be "valid" in our household. I think friendship "vocabulary" also exists. I remember my two close friends in Junior High School who used to create their own "crazy" language which I did NOT understand at all. They were like talking in Martian language or something, but they understood each other. I used to be so envious of their "bond".

I've been learning Arttu's special "vocabulary" ever since I moved to Finland and I like this kind of "bond" he he he...I also think we're creating different types of "vocabulary" together that other people might not understand. It's our THING and I like it. *GRIN*

And this special "thing" isn't only limited to words. It also involves gestures, body language, a certain look or a twitch of the eyebrow, a certain smile or facial expression. I think it's MARVELOUS, don't you?

P.S. I'm in a lazy mood to blog-hop, so I'll do it tomorrow, OK? We're planning on spending a night at the cabin next Friday. I hope we're going to do it since I LOVE spending QUALITY TIME with hubby ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho...WHOOOOPPPEEEEE!!!! ;-D

I hope you're enjoying your weekend, My Friends!!!!!!! Let me share with you one of this old songs I LOVE SO MUCH. I LOVE this gal's voice and her radiant face and cute dimples HE HE HE HE HE..."You Gotta Be" by Des'ree.