Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Hypocrisy: Where's The Line?

One friend made me think of this topic when we were talking about a scenario. In this scenario, the mother-in-law is criticising a woman 'coz she's chosen a good private school for her child (which proves to be rather expensive). The mother-in-law wants her to send the child to a much cheaper school, but the woman is determined to give the child the best education she can give him, even though it means she has to take out her own savings to do so.

So, when the mother-in-laws keeps on giving suggestions, the woman just nods and says "yes, yes, yes, that sounds good indeed", but behind her, she just does whatever she wants for the sake of her child.

One friend said that she can't do what this woman does, 'coz she feels that it means she's being a hypocrite. I guess if she were in this woman's position, she'd fight with all her might to explain it to the MIL even though it means there might be a verbal fight between them.

What do you think of this scenario? What's your POV? Where's the line between being a hypocrite and being "a peacemaker" (at least in this scenario the woman can be called that, I suppose)?

IMO, I think the woman is clever enough to balance things out. She respects the MIL's suggestions and accepts her criticisms, but she still does what she believes to be the best for the sake of her own child. After all, it's HER money and HER child, not the MIL's money and child.

I believe in honesty, but I don't believe that brutal honesty helps out in many scenarios (even though some people may think it's a kind of hypocrite act).


  1. I agree with your POV because she takes the time to listen to her MIL's advise but in the end makes her own decision. Ultimately the child is hers and she's paying for the education.

  2. Ada email yang kelewat gitu ya? I think it's a known view that when Asians say yes, it does NOT mean he/she agrees with you.
    I think when the girl says 'yes' it doesn't mean she agrees, while being a hypocrite means that she does agree but still does something contrary.
    Aside from that, different people have different needs. One friend values peace more, while the other values justice more. Who am I to say one is better than the other?

  3. people have the right to pick their own fights (unless it's something extremely important) and in this case, there is no sense getting into an argument if she doesn't want to.

  4. Blur Ting: THANKS for sharing your view!!! :-D

    Anita: It's interesting what you say about Asians hmmmhhh...in this case, am I more Asian or not? Hmmm...

    I'm not asking if one is better than the other. I'm just asking what you think and whether or not you consider that action as hypocrisy. Just to gather different opinions.

    Vince: GREAT conclusion!!! I agree totally with what you said. :-D

  5. There's this personality theory (cant remember what its called) that says that Some people are harmonizers and thus will try to avoid confrontations and fights at all times. And then there are the motivators, drivers and something else that I cant remember. So..I guess how you act on that particular 'scene' depends partly on your personality. Harmonizers can come across very wrongly though..some might think they are hypocrites, liars or even gutless..

  6. Ershinta: THANKS for the input. VERY interesting. :-))) And I agree completely that harmonizers can be perceived as hypocrites.