Three years ago we stood in front of my priest, exchanging vows. I remember that day as if it were yesterday. Nothing else mattered and everybody else in the whole room seemed to vanish when we said those words to each other. It was our moment, our big step in life.
Back then I didn't know full well the prices I had to pay to marry you and move halfway around the world. It never crossed my mind that it would be so hard to have your heart split into two: my new family in Finland and my family in Indo. I'm writing this letter a few days before I have to fly to Indo and I feel a mixture of sadness and joy: sadness for having to leave you and your parents, joy for being able to meet my family. And the same thing will happen again the day when I'm supposed to fly back to Indo.
There are also other prices that came up only after I moved to Finland, but the most important thing is that you're worth the prices I have to pay. We are worth each and every one of it. What we have is worth the fight. I don't know how much more time God gives us, but I promise I'm going to do my best to cherish each and every moment I have with you.
To be honest, before I moved to Finland, I also didn't know how right my choice was to marry you (I bet you also felt the same - at least the logical part of the brain would say so). After all, we never really dated "normally" and we had only been together in real life for more or less 3 weeks in total before our wedding day. Before I moved to Finland, I knew you were funny, but I never knew you're THIS funny. You make me laugh so easily. You make me feel cherished, loved, supported, accepted. You never make me feel like I'm stupid, even when I make silly mistakes and you're always ready to comfort me when I need it. You never give me any unsolicited advice and you never criticize me. Even when I'm SO cranky, you always keep your cool and you put up with it. I'm SO grateful for that!!!
Up to now, we've had some disagreements, but they never escalated into any fights. There were times when I wondered about this, you know? There were times when I wondered if it was "healthy" to never having fights after living together for almost three years. There were times when I wondered if there were "ticking bombs" in our marriage...but one day I realized the answer. It's a simple as ABC. You've always brought out the best in me. I don't exactly know how you do it, but you do. I guess you're just one of those people who "click" with me - who are in the opposite end from those people who get into my nerves so easily even though they probably don't really mean to do it.
That was one of the reasons why I knew you were and are the one for me. Even though there were some occasions when I wanted to get REALLY angry at you, I just couldn't lash out. If I had been with someone else, I couldn't guarantee that things would calm down the way they were with you. But you...you've always managed to douse my flames so quickly. Always. Every single time. I'm amazed at that. I guess my instinct was right after all - about your being the one for me even before we met. Time has proven this even better than I could have imagined it.
Even though life in Sodankylä is not all roses and flowers and sometimes I do feel frustrated about "finding my place in here" (esp. in terms of finding a suitable occupation that would bring me some income), I love my life with you. I love the way you treat me. I love the way you move (so sexy, oh yeah!). I love the way you smile. I love your crazy jokes. I love how I can be totally crazy in front of you - and still feel like I'm the most precious person on earth instead of feeling silly. I love all the little things you do that I can't possibly write down here (tee hee...).
I wish right now I could hold you SO tightly to let you know how much you mean to me...but 'coz I'm halfway around the world, I hope this note warms up your heart until I come back to your arms again (and then I can "attack you properly, passionately, tenderly"). I just want to say THANK YOU for being you, THANK YOU for everything. I'm PROUD to be your wife and I'm SO lucky to be able to love you, hold you, kiss you, make love to you, cook for you, clean your ears, tickle you, scratch your back, stare at you, smell your fart (OK, OK, I know that oftentimes they don't smell - unlike mine), help you cut your hair, listen to your heartbeats, nibble you, tuck you up on the sofa sometimes when you take a nap...and the list goes on.
I LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU more than before...the longer I am with you, the more I adore you...I can't wait to go back home to you...because you are my home...my safe haven on earth...my "bunny in a bag"...
Your crazy wife (who's crazily in love with you),
P.S. Sorry, I don't allow comments for this post 'coz it's a very personal post.