Thursday, February 24, 2011

In Between "Two Worlds"

When I was a child, I used to think of myself being in between two worlds: the real world and my imaginary world. I considered my imaginary world as a place where I could run away to whenever I needed to. I even imagined myself standing in the middle of two worlds where I had one foot on the real world and another foot on the imaginary world and I was happy to be able to stand like that between those two worlds. They helped me cope with life, so to speak.

Recently I read a blog post that reminds me of this. She moved to NY from the UK and she's now been living in NY for years. She stated that she would never become a true blue New Yorker, but she also felt that she didn't "belong" in the UK anymore. She said the feeling didn't make her feel troubled, but it just felt weird.

I can relate to that. After having lived in Finland for almost 4 years, what I consider "normal" has changed. When I first moved to Finland, my perspective and what I considered "normal" was still very Indonesian, but now I know more about "the norms" in this place and what people do and what people expect from the government, etc. I don't feel that I ever want to live in Indo again (though if I REALLY have to and there's no other choice, I know I can make it), but I'll never become a true blue Finnish person anyway even if I have a Finnish citizenship later on.

Speaking of this topic, I've always been a "foreigner" whether I was in Indo or in Finland, so I'm used to that. I'm used to being the "minority" 'coz I'm a non-native person. Now I feel like I'm in between two worlds again in this real world: between Finland and Indo.

It doesn't matter, though, even though I'll never become a native my entire life (roughly speaking, even if I move to China 'coz my grandparents are Chinese, they won't consider me as a native 'coz I can't speak the language), I know where I belong. First and foremost, God accepts me the way I am and loves me. Secondly, I've got my family and plenty of friends who accept me the way I am. That's enough. Isn't that what we all need? To be accepted and loved just the way we are, whoever we are, wherever we are?

Anyhow, here are some more winter pictures I took yesterday...

First pic: "snowy flowers" he was around -17'C or -18'C yesterday.

I just LOVE LOVE LOVE the shadow/sunlight patches on the snow...don't you?


  1. Mel! Hahaha..I was just about to write about this same topic..about feeling "I don't belong" here nor there. Anyways, I can totally relate! Never felt quite belong in Indonesia, or later, everywhere else I went, and now here in the Faroes. But thing that matters: we belong in Heaven! Oh yeah! =)

    Your pictures are A.W.E.S.O.M.E!!!!

  2. @Shinta: HUHHH??? Again we have the same ideas on what to write? HA HA HA HA...SO FUNNY!!! :-D GLAD you enjoyed the pics. God's creations are A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!!!!!!!!

  3. Well, you know that I do not feel 100% right in Finland or the UK either. I know that a lot of people feel this way, when they are still living in their own homeland though.

    I decided long ago, that my home is in between Marks arms...and I simply am a citizen of the whole planet.

  4. @Jul: Glad you enjoyed them. :-D

    @Mrs. Rainbow: Yeah, that's what I call R2 as well - my home he he he...:-D

  5. @Mrs. Rainbow: Forgot to add this - what I wanted to stress in the post was that after you've lived abroad long enough, you're more and more "disconnected" with your ex-home country, but on the other hand you're also not fully a "citizen" of the new place.