When I was a child, I used to think of myself being in between two worlds: the real world and my imaginary world. I considered my imaginary world as a place where I could run away to whenever I needed to. I even imagined myself standing in the middle of two worlds where I had one foot on the real world and another foot on the imaginary world and I was happy to be able to stand like that between those two worlds. They helped me cope with life, so to speak.
Recently I read a blog post that reminds me of this. She moved to NY from the UK and she's now been living in NY for years. She stated that she would never become a true blue New Yorker, but she also felt that she didn't "belong" in the UK anymore. She said the feeling didn't make her feel troubled, but it just felt weird.
I can relate to that. After having lived in Finland for almost 4 years, what I consider "normal" has changed. When I first moved to Finland, my perspective and what I considered "normal" was still very Indonesian, but now I know more about "the norms" in this place and what people do and what people expect from the government, etc. I don't feel that I ever want to live in Indo again (though if I REALLY have to and there's no other choice, I know I can make it), but I'll never become a true blue Finnish person anyway even if I have a Finnish citizenship later on.
Speaking of this topic, I've always been a "foreigner" whether I was in Indo or in Finland, so I'm used to that. I'm used to being the "minority" 'coz I'm a non-native person. Now I feel like I'm in between two worlds again in this real world: between Finland and Indo.
It doesn't matter, though, even though I'll never become a native my entire life (roughly speaking, even if I move to China 'coz my grandparents are Chinese, they won't consider me as a native 'coz I can't speak the language), I know where I belong. First and foremost, God accepts me the way I am and loves me. Secondly, I've got my family and plenty of friends who accept me the way I am. That's enough. Isn't that what we all need? To be accepted and loved just the way we are, whoever we are, wherever we are?
Anyhow, here are some more winter pictures I took yesterday...
First pic: "snowy flowers" he he...it was around -17'C or -18'C yesterday.
I just LOVE LOVE LOVE the shadow/sunlight patches on the snow...don't you?