Thursday, June 05, 2014

Do You Miss Your Hometown?

I've been talking to some expats around the globe about this topic. I've been asked this question many times by random people and my answer these days is "no". I remember one day a customer showed a confused face after I gave that answer. But I meant what I said. No kidding. This is my home now.


Maybe some people who have so many attachments with their home country do get homesick, but I can't say that I do feel homesick these days. Don't get me wrong! In the beginning I did miss my home country, especially my family and I most definitely missed the food (at that time Finnish food felt so bland). I also missed the comfort of being in a familiar place, of having a clear safety net, of having a set of friends, of having a job. Things like that. 


As time goes by, however, life in this small village has changed me. What I find "normal" has changed. Case in point: I still remember very clearly when I came back to Indo and got frustrated because they couldn't queue properly in public toilets. In Indonesian public toilets, one just needs to stand outside whichever toilet booth one wants to, so it doesn't follow any queueing order whatsoever. So tough luck if you're standing in front of the toilet booth where the person inside is taking a long dump. I was really shocked at that time by the amount of frustration I felt. I am getting too used to life here that what I found normal when I still lived in Indonesia feels abnormal and can even feel annoying.

Another case in point: people here sometimes ask me if I have children, but they rarely ask follow-up questions. In Indonesia, even strangers you just meet won't hesitate giving their opinions concerning stuff like that. I have a friend who has decided with her husband to only have one child and one of her yoga students (an older mother) scolded her for that particular decision, saying that it was bad to only have one child bla bla bla bla bla...This person isn't even a close friend of my friend, mind you!

These days I can't even get used to the crowds anymore. Being in a crowd in very small doses is tolerable, but not in big doses. I have grown to love having so much space between myself and other people. There's a kind of stillness that doesn't exist in the big cities, the kind of relaxed attitude that is just dear to me. No traffic jams, thank you very much. I've also talked to some people who were born in small villages. They've also told me that they can't stand being in big cities because they're so used to this kind of pace and space. Their senses get overwhelmed with the noise and the crowd and the traffic jam. 


glitter-graphics.com

Other than that, my taste buds have changed, so the only thing I can possibly miss is my family and friends. Nothing else. I've been wondering why it feels easy for me to unattach myself from my parents. I get along much better with my mom, but I can't say that I had a difficult relationship with my dad, either (it could get a bit rocky sometimes but not all the time). My mom helped smooth out our relationship by being the bridge between us hard-headed people and I can even say that I have a better relationship with my mom compared to many other people with their moms, but I have no problem leaving her and my dad and my brother (my brother and I have a good relationship) behind. But anyway, it sure makes my life here easier. I think if I'm too attached with my home country (the people or food or whatever it is), it will make it harder for me to live here.

If you're an expat (or even someone who's living outside of your birth city), how much do you miss your hometown? 

10 comments:

  1. I live here for almost 10 years and of course sometimes I miss Jakarta. Like you mostly I miss my mother and ex colleague. But most, I miss book store and food hi hi hi hi... Last time, I went back to Jakarta was in year 2008. I am not sure when we can visit Jakarta again, still have to save lots of money to go there again.

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    1. Bookstore! Ha! I can relate to that! Over here there is only one small bookstore ha ha ha ha...I understand the expensive price to go back with your whole family to Jakarta. Maybe someday then!

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  2. It's been quite a process for me. Although I have always loved Finland, I went through a period of being VERY homesick 6 months to a year after moving here. It was miserable. A few months after that, I was over the hump and I had begun to consider Lappeenranta home. Now, the idea of moving back to the US is almost inconceivable. I still get homesick, and not just for my family, but it's the sort of thing where I'd really like to visit for a while. After that visit is through, I'll want to return home to LPR. :)

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    1. What an interesting shift, Elena. Thanks for sharing! Sounded like quite a shift for you. :-) It's funny how one can get so used to a new place, eh?

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  3. I live twenty minutes away from my hometown so I'm not really qualified to answer!
    Interesting to hear how different some things are for you, but glad to hear you consider home 'home'.

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    1. There are perks of staying close to your hometown. That's for sure. :-) And yes, I'm also glad that home is here. :-)

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  4. I miss some things from my hometown: family, friends, the friendly and warm society, the relatively orderly ways, custom, and food of course. What I don't miss is the crowdedness, heavier traffic, and those inevitable clashes when you live near your extended family ;)
    Interesting post n POV!

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    1. Understand what you mean about the crowd, heavy traffic, and those clashes he he he...Thanks for commenting and reading, Piot!

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  5. I know what you mean. I feel the same way. :-)

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    1. Thanks for your comment, M. Glad to know someone else feels the same way he he...

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