Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Busybodies Much?

When my Mom went with a group of Indo tourists and tour guide to Taiwan, she had no idea if they would be her age or not. Turned out most of them were 50-70 years old, so around her age group. Among them, there was one woman in her mid thirties and a man in his early forties. The woman was accompanying her 70-year-old dad during the trip. She was single and she paid for her father's trip including hers. The man was a dentist who accompanied his mother and he was also single.

Knowing that, many of the older ladies in the group tried to set them up. And they were rather persistent!!! They kept telling her that she should spend more time with him, but she said that she didn't want to be the first one to make the move. Then one time they even tried to create a situation where he would be forced to sit next to her in the tour bus. I was shaking my head in disbelief when I heard the story. 

I remember an incident when one of my first friends got married earlier than the others (if I remember correctly it was in 2001 - I graduated from uni in 2000 at the age of 22 y.o.). We were invited to her house the day before the wedding to celebrate her "hen night". This kind of hen night isn't the same as in Hollywood movies. It's usually a party set up in the bride's parents' house where they invite the bride's friends and relatives to enjoy the last day of her being single. On that particular hen night, there was SO MUCH food 'coz apparently many of her relatives also cooked and brought different dishes (I seem to remember at least more than a dozen type of dishes). In some cases the bride and family may opt to just buy food from the restaurant.

Note: Mind you that in Indo the dishes are main food and side dishes, not hors d'oeuvres or snacks. So a combination of rice with pork dishes, chicken dishes, beef dishes, fish/seafood dishes, noodles, etc. (at the very least there are usually 3-6 dishes to accompany the rice) And no alcoholic drinks served. Just water, tea, and/or soft drinks.

Anyway, after taking the food, some female friends and I were sitting down on the sofa, talking to the bride and enjoying the food while one older relative of hers (an uncle or something) passed us by and said, "Oh, look at the row of ladies here! You! (pointing to a girl with dimples) You're really pretty! Are you single? What's your name? Can I have your phone number? I want to introduce you to someone."

The girl just giggled and said nothing, but that moment I felt like being in a shop display for a matchmaker. Goodness! It was really awkward and I just wished he'd go away pronto - which I think he did after the girl didn't say anything much. I don't remember too much of what happened next except that (I think) he was too eager to ask for that girl's name and phone number. But anyway, we were able to continue talking to the bride in peace again without being bothered. Mostly we asked her about the beauty salon that she chose and where she ordered the cake and stuff like that, because none of us had got married yet, so it was interesting to get to know her experience. But yeah, Indo people can be TOO involved in other people's affairs. That's for sure.


  1. Oh wow! You weren't kidding with the title of this post. That sounds difficult to handle. How did your mom feel about the whole set-up operation that happened on her trip?

    1. She was just an observer who also shook her head, but it's very common for this to happen in Indo. Actually, my Mom met my Dad through a mutual acquaintance ha ha ha...and I know one aunt who got married due to a mutual acquaintance as well. So there's no harm done IF the person itself truly wishes/asks to get to know more people in order to get a spouse, but in general people can really take it to the extreme by suggesting this kind of scenario even without asking if the person is interested in it or not.