Longing for Heaven

I haven't been blogging not due to the lack of inspiration. In fact, I've had so many different thoughts rumbling in my brain for the past few weeks, but I haven't really got any "Eureka" moments yet, so if I write them down, they're gonna sound like a rambling babble...but anyhow, let me just share one part of them anyhow.

Last Sunday was Father's Day in Finland, so all the stores were closed here in this small village (in some big cities some stores were open). Hubby and I went to MIL's place and together we brought cake for FIL at the old people's house. Unfortunately they had recently moved FIL to a different location 'coz they are renovating the building where he lived before and the renovation will take 2 years to complete. I said "unfortunately" because this new place wasn't build to be an old people's house, so it's lacking many essential things.

The day they moved some of the patients there (yeah, not all the patients were moved there, just some), my MIL went to the new place and she was shocked to see that there weren't even beds yet, so the patients were strapped into their wheelchairs (they were wheelchair-bound patients) and they were just sitting there for a long time. I have no idea what happened, but MIL said that the move seemed to be done in such a hurry that they didn't have time to do anything else in terms of preparation in the new facilities.

This new facility is a 2-bedroom house filled with 4 patients with a small kitchen and a dining area. In the previous facility, FIL had his own room - now he shares a room with another patient (during this renovation, they've reduced the fee to 50% of the monthly fee). Two of the patients had brought their TV there, but they didn't work. This new area requires a different kind of TV, so MIL is thinking of buying one for FIL, 'coz otherwise it's going to be boring there. In the old facility, there was a big common room area where patients could sit and talk and watch TV together, but now at least for someone like FIL, he only has the nurses and 3 other patients to talk to.

Anyhow, when we arrived, FIL was still asleep after lunch (we went there when it was time for coffee break) and the other 3 patients were sitting in the dining area. Turned out that they served Father's Day cake there in the new facility, so we didn't even cut the cake that MIL had bought. It took a few minutes to wake FIL up because he was so tired - the nurse said he had been really active in the morning, so it may be the reason why he was sleeping so soundly.

MIL then adjusted the bed to sitting position and fed him cake, helped him drink coffee, and then gave him a banana to make sure he was full enough before dinner. Then MIL got to chat a little with the 3 other patients and asked if anybody had come to visit them (they were all male). One of them answered no. I felt sad. How tough it must've been to know that your fellow housemates got visitors on Father's Day, but nobody came to visit you?

FIL looked fine, by the way - as fine as you can be when your Alzheimer's has robbed you of a good part of your memory bank. Before we visited FIL, my BIL who lived down south called and asked how FIL was doing. MIL said that she felt that the new place wasn't good at all for the patients' well-being and that she wouldn't be surprised if someone died of a broken heart. And she was also wondering if FIL was crying inside...She'd love to have him back in the apartment if she could afford paying for a daily nurse to help her take care of him, but she can't afford it. And she can't possibly take care of him on her own anymore.

It made me think that it's harder on the patients who are still "on earth" so much than those who don't really remember or realize anything anymore. I mean, their brains are still working pretty well even though their bodies have failed them. If I am ever in that kind of position, I don't know if I will be able to surrender peacefully to what I can no longer do. Yesterday it just hit me when I saw FIL there...what should I pray for him about? The only thing I could think of was "May God's grace, mercy, and peace be with him always." On the other hand, seeing him and the other patients makes me think of how unimportant so many things on earth that we deem "important" are. How trivial they are in stark contrast to what the patients need.

And this makes me long for heaven...There are other things that's made me long for heaven these days, but that'll require another long, winding post. I long for a place where we're stripped bare of our possessions, titles, labels, achievements...I long for a place where we're no longer caught up with this thing called "life".

Happy Easter!

Just wanna say to everybody who's celebrating it:


glitter-graphics.com

Yesterday at the daycare a priest visited us to talk to the kids about Jesus, His death, and His victory over death. The teacher had been teaching the kids some Easter songs and she'd also been reading about Jesus to the kids. It was funny when the priest started talking to the kids, some of them butted in 'coz they wanted to share what they knew he he he...Some of the workers there had decorated the gym hall to symbolize Jesus' journey - from the last supper to the cross to the tomb until He rose again.

After the priest said that she wouldn't give any of her children as a saviour over mankind's sins, one kid asked, "Then why did He do it?" The priest said, "Because God loves us so much."



Funny thing was that one kid said, "But I would give my own kids to save mankind" HE HE HE HE HE HE...

And then there was also a talk about heaven and one kid said that he would bring all his earthly stuff to heaven - as well as his pets (and then the other kids started talking about what they wanted to bring to heaven) HI HI HI HI...The priest of course explained that in heaven there would be no need for material things 'coz it'd be so much more beautiful than earth. It was endearing to see some of them getting really excited talking about Jesus and answering the priest' questions and asking her questions.

Anyhow, we're not doing anything much 'coz R2 has to be on-call again until Monday, but we'll still drop by at my in-laws' tomorrow as usual. We're just taking it easy before our Crete trip next weekend. WOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! :-D

3BT: January 16, 2008

1. Hubby taking me to another level of heaven at night. Hey, I never THOUGHT there could be another level!!! He's SO good to me!!! ;-D

2. Hubby doing something VERY sweet to me. He bought a bag of salmiak candies. He knows I hate salmiak, but I wanted to taste the candy. This type of candy is made half salmiak - half candy, plus the candy was hard, so I couldn't possibly separate them easily. Knowing that, hubby sucked all the salmiak off one of them and gave the candy to me. YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!! And I didn't even ask him to do that HUE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...

3. Rubbing his cheeks while watching his smile spreading so widely as I told him, "You're the best 'coz you sucked all the salmiak off the candy for me." HE HE HE HE HE...

4. Watching hubby making funny faces which made me giggle uncontrollably ha ha ha ha ha ha...Funny thing is that I've never seen him do that in front of others, so it's especially for me HUE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...

5. Enjoying a life of safety: without war, natural disaster, or oppression.

6. Enjoying pretty cheap heater cost (compared to my German friend's heater cost) in this cold land so I don't have to turn it down low.

7. The warmth of my hubby's hand enveloping mine whenever I feel cold...or his warm body against mine when we go to bed at night. Yummy!!!

8. Having a hubby who's pretty independent (who didn't expect me to be at his beck and call). He never got mad at me even when I cooked something he didn't really like or when I forgot boiling potatoes once. He didn't grumble or scold me. One time when he wanted boiled potatoes on a Sunday and I forgot to do it, he did it himself. BRAVO, Hubby!!!!!!!!! You're really THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!

How Would I Spend One More Day with Someone I Loved and Lost?

Arlene tagged me to do this meme. Hmmm...Both my parents are still alive and I was never really close to my grandmothers and grandfathers, so I think I'd love to spend one more day with my Pappy. To read the complete story about my Pappy, go here (read number two).

What I'd do with him? I'd ask him if he wants to do something with me and then I'd also ask him about my childhood. He was there for almost the first 4 years of my life, so I'd love to know what I did and how naughty I was he he he he...

Then I'll also tell him about everything I've done and how happy I am right now and I'll also tell him about his sons and that his family is well and happy, too. Basically speaking, I just want to have a LONG talk with him.

Oh...and I would also ask him how heaven is like HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...

I'm not going to tag anyone, but if anyone is interested in doing this meme, by all means, go ahead!!!

3BT: June 29, 2007

1. Knowing that my uncle's in a better place. No pain, no worries, no disappointments, no strife, no discord. It's a relief to know that one's tasks on earth are done.

2. Remembering all the good guys out there. All those decent, honest, caring, loving, sweet, hardworking guys who put their women first. All those gentle guys who truly try hard to make their women happy. All those funny guys that make their women smile, giggle, laugh uncontrollably. All the guys who truly listen to their women, who accept their women for who they are, who make their women feel ABSOLUTELY special. All those guys (who are sensitive enough) who go out of their way to make sure that their women are doing okay. I SALUTE those guys. THANK YOU for being here on earth. You guys have made us, women, feel that we are THE LUCKIEST beings on earth!!! *bowing*

3. Chocolate pancakes. My hubby decided to make some and they're DELICIOUS (eaten with his Mom homemade strawberry jam - made from the strawberries she grew herself in her yard). Maybe I should never learn how to cook pancakes so that I can be spoilt every now and then whenever he wants some. *tee hee*

P.S. My computer died this morning. Good thing we have two computers here, so I'm using my hubby's computer. However, before the new computer part comes, I'm not sure whether I can write much in my blog or not. We'll see. :-))) ENJOY your weekend, everybody!!!

An Old Poem: Heaven and Hell of Love

Wrote this poem when I was desperately waiting for the authority to issue my residence permit (we were separated for around 4 months after Arttu flew back home to Finland after our wedding and honeymoon).

Heaven and Hell of Love

Heaven of love happens when the heart screams,
"I'm gonna tell the world how much I love him!!!"
"I can't believe how lucky I am to have him!!!"
"Marrying him is the best decision of my life!!!"
"I feel like home when being with him!"
"I love myself more when I am with him!"
"I love the way he makes me feel!"
"I love the way he smiles!"
"I believe our love is eternal!"
"I feel that we are so meant to be!"
"He brings out the best in me!"
"We are soulmates!"

Hell of love happens when the heart screams,
"I'm bleeding 'coz I can't see him, feel him, kiss him, hold him, touch him!"
"I'm desperate 'coz I can't give all my love to him!"
"Don't you know how much I love him?"
"Can't you see how much he means to me?"
"Why is life doing this to us?"
"This pain is almost unbearable at times, Yet we have to keep on fighting for love!"
"I want to teleport myself to him RIGHT NOW!"
"Gosh, how much longer do we have to wait?"
"For God's sake, kill us and let us haunt each other forever!"

***************************************

Love is heaven and hell (on earth). Love is pure bliss and agony. Now I'm in the deepest chasm of hell. Misery is my company. Nobody understands this hell except the one I love, for he's also in the same hell. Agony becomes a companion I have to bear.

Written on Thursday, February 22, 2007

Heaven

This morning I called my brother but he was resting at home. Just now he had gone to the hospital and one of the nurses said that the CT Scan result showed infarction. She said that my Dad had to be treated in the hospital still for 2 weeks. However my brother and Mom still wanted to talk to the doctor first. They wanted to know if my Dad could just be an outpatient. We'll see how it goes. At least now they know what's wrong with him. I always find that relieving: knowing what's wrong.

***********************************************

Okay, now we move on to the topic I want to talk about. Since I've been reading "The Five People You Meet in Heaven" by Mitch Albom, you can already guess what I'm going to talk about now. Yep. Heaven. In the novel it's said that when you die, you meet 5 people who'll explain your past to you and your connection with them in life, even though you may not realize that connection when you're still alive.

My first questions are: What's your idea of heaven? How do you imagine heaven (if you believe there is a heaven)?

I won't define/describe my own idea of heaven because I'd like to keep it as a surprise when I do get there someday. The idea of heaven reminds me of what my friend once told me when I was facing a serious depressing problem. She said, "Go write down what you want to ask God about the things happening in your life that you don't understand and then you can ask those questions after you die. I've already had a long list of my own questions to ask Him later." Intriguing! If that's the case, then Mitch Albom's idea/fable of heaven may be feasible.

My second question is: Since some of you may not believe in heaven, let's talk about heaven on earth then. What makes you feel that you're experiencing heaven on earth? The moments when you say, "Oh dear, it feels SO heavenly" or "My goodness, so THIS may be heaven on earth." It can be an experience, a place, or a situation, or anything at all. I'm VERY interested in finding out what people think of heaven on earth.

These are the the things that make me feel that heaven is on earth:
1. When I sit on my husband's lap and then we hold each other SO tightly and do nothing but just enjoy each other's presence and warmth.
2. When I've been craving for some food and then I can eat that specific food that tastes EXACTLY the way I want it to be.
3. Having a good night's sleep, being able to sleep with a peaceful mind and heart, unburdened by anything.
4. Whenever I am amazed by God's creations, especially when I bask in the glory of beautiful nature.
5. When you get something you've been wanting even without asking for it.
6. Miracles in life.
7. Being understood.

I guess that'd be enough for now he he...I can't wait to read your comments, so better publish this post. :-)))