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Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Sunday, July 05, 2015
Microblog: Drops of Love
Sometimes love is looking at someone's eyes - a deep and searching gaze - to make sure that the other person is okay. No words necessary. Just a loving, thoughtful gaze that lets you know that the other person cares about you that much. Drops of precious love pouring over you in those extra seconds, quenching your parched heart. And all you can say is: "Thank you, thank you, thank you."
glitter-graphics.com
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Friday, September 05, 2014
A Wealth of Lessons
Note: I dug up some of my old posts and found this unpublished post, so here goes...
The stories of people's lives intrigue me, impress me, induce me to feel a mixture of emotion churning inside me. Throughout my life I have heard glimpses of other people's lives and that made me feel that I had been living quite a protected life. It also made me wonder about the crossroads in our lives. Had we chosen a different route, everything would have been SO different. Had our parents chosen a different route, would we have been born?
A woman once opened up to me about her life. She said, "When I first met my current husband, I didn't love him. My first husband left me for another woman when our second daughter was only about a year and a half. I worked too hard and that drove us apart. Then years later I met an expat who was interested in me. We became a couple, yet one day I found out that he had a wife. From then on, I started losing more faith in men. Building a relationship based on love becomes such a stupid thing to do for me. It even crossed my mind to sell myself for money. After all, I needed the money to support my two daughters. I never really did it, though it did cross my mind a few times.
But then my current husband found me and he asked me on a date. He doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, whereas I sometimes go to the bars to drink a little and have fun. He didn't mind that, though. We went on several dates and finally we got married.
Things were rough in the beginning, though. His family didn't accept me right away. I cried a lot and asked my husband why they didn't accept me. It took them a while to open up their hearts to accept me. I think one reason was that my husband had never had any girlfriend before he met me. He just lived for work and he even worked on weekends. I told him that when we got married, I didn't want him to work too hard as I wanted to have some quality time with him, as well."
I nodded and nodded while listening to her story. Her family life history was a tragic one, as well. She lost her mother when she was young, then her Dad found another woman who was only interested in his money. After some time, the other woman left him to be with a richer man. Then in the end her Dad died due to some illness. One brother died due to some illness and she lost a sister in a car accident. Another sister died from drowning as she went swimming after she got heavily drunk.
Her story made me feel amazed. I feel that life has forged some people into warriors and warrior princesses. Whether or not you choose to be negative and bitter and pessimistic, it's all up to you. It's supposed to be easier to be thankful when everything is fine and smooth, but the fact is that we are prone to grumble and grumble and grumble. It's so easy to lose perspective on the most important things in life and instead scrutinize all the little things in life with a magnifying glass. I love learning about and from other people. There's a wealth of lessons out there.
glitter-graphics.com
The stories of people's lives intrigue me, impress me, induce me to feel a mixture of emotion churning inside me. Throughout my life I have heard glimpses of other people's lives and that made me feel that I had been living quite a protected life. It also made me wonder about the crossroads in our lives. Had we chosen a different route, everything would have been SO different. Had our parents chosen a different route, would we have been born?
A woman once opened up to me about her life. She said, "When I first met my current husband, I didn't love him. My first husband left me for another woman when our second daughter was only about a year and a half. I worked too hard and that drove us apart. Then years later I met an expat who was interested in me. We became a couple, yet one day I found out that he had a wife. From then on, I started losing more faith in men. Building a relationship based on love becomes such a stupid thing to do for me. It even crossed my mind to sell myself for money. After all, I needed the money to support my two daughters. I never really did it, though it did cross my mind a few times.
But then my current husband found me and he asked me on a date. He doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, whereas I sometimes go to the bars to drink a little and have fun. He didn't mind that, though. We went on several dates and finally we got married.
Things were rough in the beginning, though. His family didn't accept me right away. I cried a lot and asked my husband why they didn't accept me. It took them a while to open up their hearts to accept me. I think one reason was that my husband had never had any girlfriend before he met me. He just lived for work and he even worked on weekends. I told him that when we got married, I didn't want him to work too hard as I wanted to have some quality time with him, as well."
I nodded and nodded while listening to her story. Her family life history was a tragic one, as well. She lost her mother when she was young, then her Dad found another woman who was only interested in his money. After some time, the other woman left him to be with a richer man. Then in the end her Dad died due to some illness. One brother died due to some illness and she lost a sister in a car accident. Another sister died from drowning as she went swimming after she got heavily drunk.
Her story made me feel amazed. I feel that life has forged some people into warriors and warrior princesses. Whether or not you choose to be negative and bitter and pessimistic, it's all up to you. It's supposed to be easier to be thankful when everything is fine and smooth, but the fact is that we are prone to grumble and grumble and grumble. It's so easy to lose perspective on the most important things in life and instead scrutinize all the little things in life with a magnifying glass. I love learning about and from other people. There's a wealth of lessons out there.
glitter-graphics.com
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Warm February
This month has been exceptionally warm, with temperatures close to 0'C or even reaching 1'C. However, the sun hasn't been showing up for days on end. Usually at this time of the year I don't need to use my light box anymore (because daylight time is supposed to be 7-8 hours a day already), but these days I still use it a few times a week. It's going to feel REALLY great when the sun's finally up again (it's been cloudy and snowing).
Oh yeah, I've finally secured my summer holiday to go back to Indo with R2. The boss has told me that it won't be a problem. Phew! We haven't bought the tickets yet, but I've been browsing for hotels in Singapore because we're going to stay there 2 nights in order to rest our bodies. Glad to know these days there are several direct flights from Singapore to my hometown, so we don't have to take the bus from Jakarta airport to Bandung. It saves so much time this way and I'm also glad that Finnair has direct flights from Helsinki to Singapore. YYYEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!
Anyway, I've been joining a Google+ online community where the members get weekly challenges. They can either post a photo, a text, or both and I must say it's been very beneficial for me to tap into my creative side.
Here's my latest post. This week's challenge is LOVE. I posted this photo along with the poem below.
Oh yeah, I've finally secured my summer holiday to go back to Indo with R2. The boss has told me that it won't be a problem. Phew! We haven't bought the tickets yet, but I've been browsing for hotels in Singapore because we're going to stay there 2 nights in order to rest our bodies. Glad to know these days there are several direct flights from Singapore to my hometown, so we don't have to take the bus from Jakarta airport to Bandung. It saves so much time this way and I'm also glad that Finnair has direct flights from Helsinki to Singapore. YYYEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!
Anyway, I've been joining a Google+ online community where the members get weekly challenges. They can either post a photo, a text, or both and I must say it's been very beneficial for me to tap into my creative side.
Here's my latest post. This week's challenge is LOVE. I posted this photo along with the poem below.
You took a big piece of my heart with you
when you never came...
Yet people think that because you never came,
I have nothing to lose.
How wrong!
I had loved you even before you could have been,
I love you still even when you're not here,
And I shall love you until my last breath
Because you're mine.
Yes, you're mine...
Even when you never came...
when you never came...
Yet people think that because you never came,
I have nothing to lose.
How wrong!
I had loved you even before you could have been,
I love you still even when you're not here,
And I shall love you until my last breath
Because you're mine.
Yes, you're mine...
Even when you never came...
Monday, December 30, 2013
3BT: Random Days
1. Me: "Am I good?"
Hubby: "Yep."
Me: "Am I bad?"
Hubby: "Yep."
Me: "So what am I then?"
Hubby: "Perfect."
Me: SUPER WIDE GRIN HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHH...(didn't expect him to say that at all, making it all the more sweet!) 2. Feeling like I am a very funny person when I'm with hubby. In the outside world, I don't feel that I'm this funny.
3. We watched Despicable Me 1 and 2 and then hubby said that Agnes reminded him of me in some ways HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...Now every time I do something that reminds us of Agnes, we both grin at each other LOL LOL!!!
4. Watching this beautiful performance. I can't believe the cyr wheel feels like the extension of her body. AMAZING!!!
5. Reading this article: Confronting The Lie: God Won't Give You More Than You Can Handle.
6. This beautiful quote:
At some of the darkest moments in my life, some people I thought of as friends deserted me - some because they cared about me and it hurt them to see me in pain; others because I reminded them of their own vulnerability, and that was more than they could handle. But real friends overcame their discomfort and came to sit with me. If they had not words to make me feel better, they sat in silence (much better than saying, "You'll get over it," or "It's not so bad; others have it worse") and I loved them for it.
- Harold Kushner, Living a Life that Matters
7. Finding these quotes:
Happy New Year, people! Wishing you all a year filled with all the things you need and some nice extra surprises along the way he he...
glitter-graphics.com
Hubby: "Yep."
Me: "Am I bad?"
Hubby: "Yep."
Me: "So what am I then?"
Hubby: "Perfect."
Me: SUPER WIDE GRIN HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHH...(didn't expect him to say that at all, making it all the more sweet!) 2. Feeling like I am a very funny person when I'm with hubby. In the outside world, I don't feel that I'm this funny.
3. We watched Despicable Me 1 and 2 and then hubby said that Agnes reminded him of me in some ways HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...Now every time I do something that reminds us of Agnes, we both grin at each other LOL LOL!!!
4. Watching this beautiful performance. I can't believe the cyr wheel feels like the extension of her body. AMAZING!!!
5. Reading this article: Confronting The Lie: God Won't Give You More Than You Can Handle.
6. This beautiful quote:
At some of the darkest moments in my life, some people I thought of as friends deserted me - some because they cared about me and it hurt them to see me in pain; others because I reminded them of their own vulnerability, and that was more than they could handle. But real friends overcame their discomfort and came to sit with me. If they had not words to make me feel better, they sat in silence (much better than saying, "You'll get over it," or "It's not so bad; others have it worse") and I loved them for it.
- Harold Kushner, Living a Life that Matters
7. Finding these quotes:
Happy New Year, people! Wishing you all a year filled with all the things you need and some nice extra surprises along the way he he...
glitter-graphics.com
Monday, November 04, 2013
Dona Nobis Pacem - Blog Blast For Peace 2013
This year again I had trouble thinking of a theme for Blog Blast For Peace again. Not for the lack of ideas, though, but I've been having too many random ideas and then I have to really find that one strong idea that I truly want to voice this year.
Anyway, here's my peace globe this year:
This year I've been having a lot of conversations with many different ladies around the world and there's one thing that keeps on echoing throughout those conversations. It's that when our inner world is chaotic and raging with so many different voices warring one another, it's so hard to go out there and create peace, because you're having all those wars within and all you want to do is protect yourself.
It gets even harder to want to create peace outside when you don't get any validation as to what is happening inside, when you feel alone and when people think you're overreacting. When you're confused and in denial especially...it gets harder to embrace yourself and love yourself as we are. When you can't love yourself even at your darkest moments (or perhaps especially on your darkest moments) and when you can't embrace whatever it is going on inside you, how can you extend that kind of love towards others? And it's especially made worse when other people who don't know or understand your pain keep on saying "the wrong thing" or "trying to fix you" or trying to tell you to "move on" even though all you need is that they just listen to you and empathize with your pain and validate your grief.
So this year I want to call for each of us to be more aware of what's going on inside us...to embrace each part of us, to become our own best friends, to dare to be naked within to reveal whatever it is that we need to face inside us, to accept the things we can't change and to believe that we are worth being loved even during those times when we feel least like it and to try to find our own support system. And I hope that by continually doing so, healing can begin from within and peace can be restored from within one step at a time. And then we can start spreading the peace again all around us, one ripple at a time.
P.S. The image of the two penguins in my Peace Globe is a portrayal of how I'd like us to treat ourselves - as our own best friend.
Anyway, here's my peace globe this year:
This year I've been having a lot of conversations with many different ladies around the world and there's one thing that keeps on echoing throughout those conversations. It's that when our inner world is chaotic and raging with so many different voices warring one another, it's so hard to go out there and create peace, because you're having all those wars within and all you want to do is protect yourself.
It gets even harder to want to create peace outside when you don't get any validation as to what is happening inside, when you feel alone and when people think you're overreacting. When you're confused and in denial especially...it gets harder to embrace yourself and love yourself as we are. When you can't love yourself even at your darkest moments (or perhaps especially on your darkest moments) and when you can't embrace whatever it is going on inside you, how can you extend that kind of love towards others? And it's especially made worse when other people who don't know or understand your pain keep on saying "the wrong thing" or "trying to fix you" or trying to tell you to "move on" even though all you need is that they just listen to you and empathize with your pain and validate your grief.
So this year I want to call for each of us to be more aware of what's going on inside us...to embrace each part of us, to become our own best friends, to dare to be naked within to reveal whatever it is that we need to face inside us, to accept the things we can't change and to believe that we are worth being loved even during those times when we feel least like it and to try to find our own support system. And I hope that by continually doing so, healing can begin from within and peace can be restored from within one step at a time. And then we can start spreading the peace again all around us, one ripple at a time.
P.S. The image of the two penguins in my Peace Globe is a portrayal of how I'd like us to treat ourselves - as our own best friend.
Wednesday, December 05, 2012
Family Ties
I feel like I've lived in quite a "safe bubble" my entire life. When I was younger, my parents would take me to school and pick me up again from there. I was only allowed to start using the public transit when I was 12 y.o. However, my Dad still insisted on taking us to school before he went to work anyway. When I was in High School Dad bought a secondhand car from his younger sister on installment, so he took us to school by car, though starting in Junior High we could go back home by public transit ourselves.
When I went to university, my Dad still sometimes took me there because at that time he had started working as an insurance agent, so his working hours were pretty flexible. Even the parking guy at the university remembered my Dad's face because he took me there many times over. When my brother started going to the same university (different faculty, though), sometimes he'd give me a ride if our schedule matched. :-)
After graduation, I continued working as a part-time English tutor and then I started having the job as a translator. Then after a while I decided that I was fed up being an English tutor and I wanted to try working in a company. An opportunity came and I was invited for an interview. The factory where I had to have the interview couldn't be reached by public transit, so my Dad took me there - and my Mom and brother went along with me because they wanted to support me and because they were so curious about it all (it was my first job interview ever anyway) HA HA HA HA HA HA...
P.S. Unfortunately I didn't enjoy the job, so I quit after only being there for 7 weeks and from then on I focused my time on translating books instead.
Maybe it's such an embarrassing thing for some people, but for me, it wasn't embarrassing. Maybe because I'd been having this dream of travelling abroad and even living abroad since I was a child, so I always had this thought in my mind, "They can't keep doing it for me when I'm far away, so I may as well just let them love me this way while we still live together." After all, by then I was already in love with R2 and I was thinking that if our relationship worked out, I would definitely have to leave Indo.
Anyway, the first time I started teaching in an English course at the university at around 19 y.o., my parents took me there. They just wanted to know where the course was. One of my lecturers recruited me to teach at her English course (the course was open for kids from the age of 5 to 12 y.o.), so she had told me to come there at a certain time and date. When my parents and I arrived there, she wasn't there yet, but the secretary was there. Mind you...I had Demi Moore's hair in Ghost at that time (and I'm only 145 cm)...upon seeing me with my parents, the secretary greeted us and immediately asked, "Oh, are you here to enroll in one of our English courses?" LOL LOL LOL!!!
Imagine her surprise when she found out I was there to TEACH!!!!! ROFL ROFL ROFL...anyway, I'm glad I have so many memories of being with my parents and I'm REALLY thankful for their efforts in spending time with me. My Mom also accompanied me every time I had to go to Jakarta to apply for my visa and when I had to prepare for the paperwork before I could get married with R2 as well as the paperwork after I got married before I could move to Finland. My family's not perfect and my parents aren't big on saying "I love you" or "I'm proud of you" and they're not even big on hugs, but I never doubt their love for me because of the way they lavish us with their time, attention, and support. After all, quality time is my primary love languages.
Ah, my cup is overflowing with gratitude...
glitter-graphics.com
When I went to university, my Dad still sometimes took me there because at that time he had started working as an insurance agent, so his working hours were pretty flexible. Even the parking guy at the university remembered my Dad's face because he took me there many times over. When my brother started going to the same university (different faculty, though), sometimes he'd give me a ride if our schedule matched. :-)
After graduation, I continued working as a part-time English tutor and then I started having the job as a translator. Then after a while I decided that I was fed up being an English tutor and I wanted to try working in a company. An opportunity came and I was invited for an interview. The factory where I had to have the interview couldn't be reached by public transit, so my Dad took me there - and my Mom and brother went along with me because they wanted to support me and because they were so curious about it all (it was my first job interview ever anyway) HA HA HA HA HA HA...
P.S. Unfortunately I didn't enjoy the job, so I quit after only being there for 7 weeks and from then on I focused my time on translating books instead.
Maybe it's such an embarrassing thing for some people, but for me, it wasn't embarrassing. Maybe because I'd been having this dream of travelling abroad and even living abroad since I was a child, so I always had this thought in my mind, "They can't keep doing it for me when I'm far away, so I may as well just let them love me this way while we still live together." After all, by then I was already in love with R2 and I was thinking that if our relationship worked out, I would definitely have to leave Indo.
Anyway, the first time I started teaching in an English course at the university at around 19 y.o., my parents took me there. They just wanted to know where the course was. One of my lecturers recruited me to teach at her English course (the course was open for kids from the age of 5 to 12 y.o.), so she had told me to come there at a certain time and date. When my parents and I arrived there, she wasn't there yet, but the secretary was there. Mind you...I had Demi Moore's hair in Ghost at that time (and I'm only 145 cm)...upon seeing me with my parents, the secretary greeted us and immediately asked, "Oh, are you here to enroll in one of our English courses?" LOL LOL LOL!!!
Imagine her surprise when she found out I was there to TEACH!!!!! ROFL ROFL ROFL...anyway, I'm glad I have so many memories of being with my parents and I'm REALLY thankful for their efforts in spending time with me. My Mom also accompanied me every time I had to go to Jakarta to apply for my visa and when I had to prepare for the paperwork before I could get married with R2 as well as the paperwork after I got married before I could move to Finland. My family's not perfect and my parents aren't big on saying "I love you" or "I'm proud of you" and they're not even big on hugs, but I never doubt their love for me because of the way they lavish us with their time, attention, and support. After all, quality time is my primary love languages.
Ah, my cup is overflowing with gratitude...
glitter-graphics.com
Tuesday, December 04, 2012
3BT: Random Days
1. Writing this note for hubby (I had an evening shift that day): "Just eat me all up 'coz your wife is going to cook something else tomorrow, OK? Signed: The Slaughtered Lamb. :-D" ---> I had cooked some lamb the day before and there was some left in the fridge, but I knew that he would be worried whether he should eat it all up or leave me a little piece of it, so I stuck the note on top of the box containing the lamb meat. I'm glad to know the note made him smile. :-D Hubby, you INSPIRE me!
2. Had a brilliant idea to trick hubby again on Christmas. ROFL ROFL!!! I'll write about it later on after Christmas if it works!!! I'm just SOOOOO excited!!!
3. Bro told me he woke up earlier specially on my birthday to say a prayer for me. My heart melted!!!
4. My Mom sent me a bday SMS and she also sent prayers. THANKS A LOT, Mom!
5. My closest friends send me birthday greetings and them really touched me deeply and one of them made me laugh by writing down how we first met. :-D More mushy mushy feelings...
6. Watching the frozen snowflakes on my bike saddle and bag when the temperature outside was about -20'C. Amazing artwork!!!
glitter-graphics.com
7. Falling in love with characters in books/stories/movies...ahhhhh...I know they're not real, but there are just so many unreal things that are so adorable he he...
2. Had a brilliant idea to trick hubby again on Christmas. ROFL ROFL!!! I'll write about it later on after Christmas if it works!!! I'm just SOOOOO excited!!!
3. Bro told me he woke up earlier specially on my birthday to say a prayer for me. My heart melted!!!
4. My Mom sent me a bday SMS and she also sent prayers. THANKS A LOT, Mom!
5. My closest friends send me birthday greetings and them really touched me deeply and one of them made me laugh by writing down how we first met. :-D More mushy mushy feelings...
6. Watching the frozen snowflakes on my bike saddle and bag when the temperature outside was about -20'C. Amazing artwork!!!
glitter-graphics.com
7. Falling in love with characters in books/stories/movies...ahhhhh...I know they're not real, but there are just so many unreal things that are so adorable he he...
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Fate, Love...
My Mom loves telling me stories about people, including love stories about our relatives. One particular story that I'm reminiscing today is about a long-distance relative of ours. I don't even know the person and I don't remember too well anymore how he's linked to us in the huge family tree, but I always feel "awwwwwww" whenever I remember the story.
When this guy was young, he fell in love with this girl, but his parents didn't approve of her because they were from different races. So the guy got married to a woman whom his parents approved of and the girl also got married to someone else. Both of them had children of their own and perhaps even grandkids and their spouses died before them. One day as fate would have it, they met again and they rekindled the long-lost love.
I hoped that in the end they were happy together, even though I also hoped they were happy with their own spouses and families before they could reunite.
In Indonesia, it's considered a bit "inappropriate" for older people to get married again (after their spouses have died, I mean). A few years ago I heard some uproar in a family because the mother (a widow) was courted by this widower. If this happened here in Finland, nobody would have said anything about it, but in the end the widow and the widower didn't get together because the widower's sons disapproved of the relationship.
Anyway, speaking of a love movie, here's a different take on love: Fireproof.
The Love Dare in the movie can be found here: Fireproof My Marriage.
When this guy was young, he fell in love with this girl, but his parents didn't approve of her because they were from different races. So the guy got married to a woman whom his parents approved of and the girl also got married to someone else. Both of them had children of their own and perhaps even grandkids and their spouses died before them. One day as fate would have it, they met again and they rekindled the long-lost love.
I hoped that in the end they were happy together, even though I also hoped they were happy with their own spouses and families before they could reunite.
In Indonesia, it's considered a bit "inappropriate" for older people to get married again (after their spouses have died, I mean). A few years ago I heard some uproar in a family because the mother (a widow) was courted by this widower. If this happened here in Finland, nobody would have said anything about it, but in the end the widow and the widower didn't get together because the widower's sons disapproved of the relationship.
Anyway, speaking of a love movie, here's a different take on love: Fireproof.
The Love Dare in the movie can be found here: Fireproof My Marriage.
Monday, July 02, 2012
Doomed to Love
This conversation happened in sauna yesterday. It hasn't been warm these days outside (plenty of rain and cloudy days), so it was really nice to be able to have sauna together and warm ourselves up.
Me: (coming closer to R2's face, joking) I think you must be infected by something.
R2: What do you mean?
Me: Well, your eyes are red.
R2: Ah, well, I'm infected by you.
Me: Me? What kind of infection is that? (bracing myself to hear him tease me back)
R2: Doomed to love you.
Me: (nicely surprised) Really? I like the sound of that.
R2: Yeah, I'm doomed to love you.
Me: (grin) Hey, that means I should infect you even more with that virus.
R2: Yeah.
Me: (coming closer to R2's face, joking) I think you must be infected by something.
R2: What do you mean?
Me: Well, your eyes are red.
R2: Ah, well, I'm infected by you.
Me: Me? What kind of infection is that? (bracing myself to hear him tease me back)
R2: Doomed to love you.
Me: (nicely surprised) Really? I like the sound of that.
R2: Yeah, I'm doomed to love you.
Me: (grin) Hey, that means I should infect you even more with that virus.
R2: Yeah.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
3BT: Random Days
1. Loving my bike's speedometer 'coz it encourages me to ride my bike even more (and faster if possible - sometimes when the road is icy or thickly covered in snow, it's impossible). Plus it's not expensive at all!
2. Rain!!! It means the temperature is warm enough to melt the snow bit by bit.
3. The upcoming free dinner paid by the company. It'd be nice to finally be able to sit down with all my colleagues and just chit-chat and laugh and enjoy a nice meal together without having to think about work.
glitter-graphics.com
4. Missing hubby whenever I have an evening shift ('coz we'll only meet at night).
5. Remembering a fond memory of hubby that just warms up my heart no matter how grey it is outside.
6. Hearing news that there'll be a slight raise of the hourly wage because the union had fought for this for all of us in my field of work. Thank you, union!
7. They still had the lovely ice-cream at the store, so I bought a package yesterday (it's a special kind that only came in a certain batch and once the batch is gone, then there'll be no more).
8. Making kampanisut with MIL's recipe and it turned out just LOVELY!!! (I'd been craving for some lately - the day I baked it, I ate 3 right after they were done ha ha...)
9. Having a space to fume over something unpleasant I heard and feeling glad after having let it all out. :-D
10. Going back to normal after PMS and period mood wrecking out my balance.
11. The knowledge that my parents are proud of us, even though they have never said it verbally. And that they love us even though they don't actually say "I love you" verbally, either. This kind of knowledge is VERY precious and I cherish it with all my heart and soul.
2. Rain!!! It means the temperature is warm enough to melt the snow bit by bit.
3. The upcoming free dinner paid by the company. It'd be nice to finally be able to sit down with all my colleagues and just chit-chat and laugh and enjoy a nice meal together without having to think about work.
glitter-graphics.com
4. Missing hubby whenever I have an evening shift ('coz we'll only meet at night).
5. Remembering a fond memory of hubby that just warms up my heart no matter how grey it is outside.
6. Hearing news that there'll be a slight raise of the hourly wage because the union had fought for this for all of us in my field of work. Thank you, union!
7. They still had the lovely ice-cream at the store, so I bought a package yesterday (it's a special kind that only came in a certain batch and once the batch is gone, then there'll be no more).
8. Making kampanisut with MIL's recipe and it turned out just LOVELY!!! (I'd been craving for some lately - the day I baked it, I ate 3 right after they were done ha ha...)
9. Having a space to fume over something unpleasant I heard and feeling glad after having let it all out. :-D
10. Going back to normal after PMS and period mood wrecking out my balance.
11. The knowledge that my parents are proud of us, even though they have never said it verbally. And that they love us even though they don't actually say "I love you" verbally, either. This kind of knowledge is VERY precious and I cherish it with all my heart and soul.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Our 2nd Anniversary!
Today marks our 2nd wedding anniversary. Gee, how time flies!!! Last night my MIL sent us an SMS to congratulate us. She said she almost forgot about it he he he...I guess she thought it was yesterday, not today! So she wasn't late at all! She also said that next time we visit her, she'll have a cake to celebrate it. YIIIIPPPIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!! I LOVE cakes! ;-D And I LOVE her!!!
Well, today I want to recount some of the blessings we've received ever since we got married.
1. My residence permit process took only 2,5 months (as opposed to the regular 3-4 months of processing) and we didn't even have to do ANY kind of interview.
2. R2 got a permanent job 3 months after I moved to Finland, exactly at the time when the apartment rent went up. HALLELUJAHHHH!!!!!
3. A full-time Finnish course started in Sodankylä for the first time ever!!! And that changed my life in many waysssss...especially as it meant that I'm more able to communicate with my beloved in-laws!
4. We were able to buy the plane tickets to Indonesia AND we still had enough money to pay for a short trip to Singapore. Never in our wildest dreams did we think that we could BOTH be going back to Indo SO SOON...never in our wildest dreams did we think that we could even have a honeymoon in Singapore!!!
5. We were able to witness the birth of Ken, my brother's baby, together at the hospital. WHOOOPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
6. We have both supportive and loving parents and family who never meddle in our own affairs. What more can we ask for?
7. We have everything we need and more: a nice place to stay, food, warm clothes, love, health, happiness, serenity, peace of mind, harmony, caring friends (blogger and non-blogger alike), some savings for rainy days.
Thank you, Lord, for everything...give us both a heart that loves and gives like Yours...may Your love bind us forever so that we are always a unity.
Bonbon, I love you more than I ever loved you before...I'm GLAD that our marriage has been smooth so far, but I'm not afraid if there are storms ahead or rains and sleet, since I know that you're the one with all my heart and soul. You're the one who always makes me feel good about myself. You're the one who brings up the best in me...for that, I thank you.
Cheers to (hopefully) many more loving and caring and fun years aheadddddddddd!!!!!!
Well, today I want to recount some of the blessings we've received ever since we got married.
1. My residence permit process took only 2,5 months (as opposed to the regular 3-4 months of processing) and we didn't even have to do ANY kind of interview.
2. R2 got a permanent job 3 months after I moved to Finland, exactly at the time when the apartment rent went up. HALLELUJAHHHH!!!!!
3. A full-time Finnish course started in Sodankylä for the first time ever!!! And that changed my life in many waysssss...especially as it meant that I'm more able to communicate with my beloved in-laws!
4. We were able to buy the plane tickets to Indonesia AND we still had enough money to pay for a short trip to Singapore. Never in our wildest dreams did we think that we could BOTH be going back to Indo SO SOON...never in our wildest dreams did we think that we could even have a honeymoon in Singapore!!!
5. We were able to witness the birth of Ken, my brother's baby, together at the hospital. WHOOOPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
6. We have both supportive and loving parents and family who never meddle in our own affairs. What more can we ask for?
7. We have everything we need and more: a nice place to stay, food, warm clothes, love, health, happiness, serenity, peace of mind, harmony, caring friends (blogger and non-blogger alike), some savings for rainy days.
Thank you, Lord, for everything...give us both a heart that loves and gives like Yours...may Your love bind us forever so that we are always a unity.
Bonbon, I love you more than I ever loved you before...I'm GLAD that our marriage has been smooth so far, but I'm not afraid if there are storms ahead or rains and sleet, since I know that you're the one with all my heart and soul. You're the one who always makes me feel good about myself. You're the one who brings up the best in me...for that, I thank you.
Cheers to (hopefully) many more loving and caring and fun years aheadddddddddd!!!!!!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Flash Back: More Tears
After doing the meme yesterday, I suddenly remembered something else that happened while hubby and I were apart for 4 months after our wedding and honeymoon.
Let me give you a short timeline:
March 2004 - We met for the first time and we were together for 2 weeks.
October/November 2006 - He came to Indonesia to marry me on November 3rd. He stayed in Indo for about 3 weeks.
March 2007 - I moved to Finland.
Our wedding night felt...surreal in a way. After he helped me take over 50 pins off my hair, I thought to myself, "Now we're really husband and wife? Now we can make love? Really?" It just felt strange, especially since we had been apart for 2 years and 7 months prior to our wedding night. Our first love-making was funny and also sweet he he he he he...It was so hard to "do it", so to speak HI HI HI HI HI HI...but we managed to do it in the end after a few laughs! LOL!!!
Now I get sidetracked. After he got back home to Finland, we resorted back to chatting and calling each other up. Since it was SO hellish for us to be apart, I decided to say, "I love you" over and over and over again right when he picked up the phone to cheer him up. I was already smiling even before I dialed his number, thinking that he would laugh...
You know what happened when I kept on saying "I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you..." right after he picked up the phone?
Silence. Total silence.
I was confused. I stopped saying the words and I said, "Hello? Are you still there?"
I heard a very small voice, choked in tears, "Yeeessss...?"
Dear Lord!!! I made him CRYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to hold him right then and there and tell him that everything would be okay, but I couldn't. I wanted to cry so hard, but I was afraid it'd make him even sadder. After all, you'll feel sadder when your loved one is sad, right? So I tried to be strong and I let him calm down while I babbled to calm him down so that he didn't have to speak since I knew he couldn't speak yet.
Ahhhhh...I never want to go through that again, even though now it's become such a TOUCHING memory. Gosh, I REALLY love that guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I'm HAPPY 'coz now I can hug him whenever I want to. YIIIPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!! ;-D
Let me give you a short timeline:
March 2004 - We met for the first time and we were together for 2 weeks.
October/November 2006 - He came to Indonesia to marry me on November 3rd. He stayed in Indo for about 3 weeks.
March 2007 - I moved to Finland.
Our wedding night felt...surreal in a way. After he helped me take over 50 pins off my hair, I thought to myself, "Now we're really husband and wife? Now we can make love? Really?" It just felt strange, especially since we had been apart for 2 years and 7 months prior to our wedding night. Our first love-making was funny and also sweet he he he he he...It was so hard to "do it", so to speak HI HI HI HI HI HI...but we managed to do it in the end after a few laughs! LOL!!!
Now I get sidetracked. After he got back home to Finland, we resorted back to chatting and calling each other up. Since it was SO hellish for us to be apart, I decided to say, "I love you" over and over and over again right when he picked up the phone to cheer him up. I was already smiling even before I dialed his number, thinking that he would laugh...
You know what happened when I kept on saying "I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you..." right after he picked up the phone?
Silence. Total silence.
I was confused. I stopped saying the words and I said, "Hello? Are you still there?"
I heard a very small voice, choked in tears, "Yeeessss...?"
Dear Lord!!! I made him CRYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to hold him right then and there and tell him that everything would be okay, but I couldn't. I wanted to cry so hard, but I was afraid it'd make him even sadder. After all, you'll feel sadder when your loved one is sad, right? So I tried to be strong and I let him calm down while I babbled to calm him down so that he didn't have to speak since I knew he couldn't speak yet.
Ahhhhh...I never want to go through that again, even though now it's become such a TOUCHING memory. Gosh, I REALLY love that guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I'm HAPPY 'coz now I can hug him whenever I want to. YIIIPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!! ;-D
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Fried Ice Cream
Last night all of a sudden I remembered one time when my brother took me to eat fried ice cream in a resto in Indo. He had been telling me about this a while before as his friends took him there. Back then he had his own motorcycle already (but no girlfriend yet), so he decided to bring me there to eat it. He said it was SO tasty!!!
We went to the resto and I was surprised since it was so small and nobody was there. I got an even bigger surprise when the waiter served our fried ice cream, since he lit a match and "burnt" it (FYI, the fried ice cream looked like a big banana fritter or "pisang goreng", but the inside was ice cream). Apparently there was plenty of rum on top of the fried ice cream to set a fire with and the result of the "burning" process was that it smelled REALLY good. So the ice cream tasted warm on the outside and cold on the inside. Quite a combination!!!
Unfortunately the resto has been closed, I think. We've never been there again after that occasion, but I'll NEVER forget it. It's VERY touching for me to know that my brother wants to share beautiful things (or delicious food) with me.
Even though we're brother and sister (not brother and brother), we've always been close. I was always his escort when he needed to buy a new pair of jeans or shoes before he had a girlfriend. I LOVE him and I LOVE being his elder sister!!! I couldn't have asked for a better "not-so-little-anymore" brother!
I MISSSSSSSSSSSSS HIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
We went to the resto and I was surprised since it was so small and nobody was there. I got an even bigger surprise when the waiter served our fried ice cream, since he lit a match and "burnt" it (FYI, the fried ice cream looked like a big banana fritter or "pisang goreng", but the inside was ice cream). Apparently there was plenty of rum on top of the fried ice cream to set a fire with and the result of the "burning" process was that it smelled REALLY good. So the ice cream tasted warm on the outside and cold on the inside. Quite a combination!!!
Unfortunately the resto has been closed, I think. We've never been there again after that occasion, but I'll NEVER forget it. It's VERY touching for me to know that my brother wants to share beautiful things (or delicious food) with me.
Even though we're brother and sister (not brother and brother), we've always been close. I was always his escort when he needed to buy a new pair of jeans or shoes before he had a girlfriend. I LOVE him and I LOVE being his elder sister!!! I couldn't have asked for a better "not-so-little-anymore" brother!
I MISSSSSSSSSSSSS HIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Somewhere in Time Part 3
A 27-year-old guy is dating a 38-year-old woman with four kids. The eldest is staying with her Dad, so the girlfriend is left with three younger children. The guy confesses that he doesn't really love the girlfriend, since he's still in love with his ex-girlfriend. His honesty is really...surprising, fascinating, raw, and somewhat melancholic.
He keeps the photos of the girlfriend's kids in his wallet, yet he refuses to put hers there. He says he doesn't want to do it. He still keeps a picture of himself with his ex-girlfriend, though.
What made them get together? Surely she was old enough to know that the guy probably didn't love her. Or maybe she didn't care about love anymore? Maybe she thinks, "Why not?" And what about him? Maybe he thinks that he can grow to love her over time?
A friend of mine once had a relationship just because they thought it'd help get over their lost loves. Did it work? Unfortunately not. They had been very good friends for many years, and then out of the spur of the moment, they decided to try having a relationship after experiencing broken hearts. After their break-up, their friendship became somewhat strained for a while, but thankfully it's now back to normal again. At least that's what I last heard about them.
I once heard a friend of mine saying that she actually would have loved to have some more love relationships prior before she decided to marry a guy. (Un)fortunately she met the man of her life right away and didn't have the chance to experience different types of relationships with other guys. One relationship was all it took for her to be a bride.
I've also seen some people getting tired of trying to start a new relationship due to many or some failed relationships. The trauma is too deep to bear after they had given so much time, effort, and love in their prior relationships. They start to wonder if there are really decent partners-to-be left in the world for them to find.
Personally speaking, I think it's good to be able to experience one or two love relationships prior to marrying someone as long as the broken relationships don't traumatize you into trying all over again. But even if you don't, it's just as well as long as you find the right one for you. After all, starting all over again is tiring.
Life is very intriguing. The choices people make, the paths they take, the risks they dare take or daren't take. Don't we all sometimes choose the wrong thing to do, even though we know fully well that it's wrong? I know I do, especially since I'm such a stubborn person.
However, no matter what, I still believe that it's much better to love and lost than never to have loved at all...
He keeps the photos of the girlfriend's kids in his wallet, yet he refuses to put hers there. He says he doesn't want to do it. He still keeps a picture of himself with his ex-girlfriend, though.
What made them get together? Surely she was old enough to know that the guy probably didn't love her. Or maybe she didn't care about love anymore? Maybe she thinks, "Why not?" And what about him? Maybe he thinks that he can grow to love her over time?
A friend of mine once had a relationship just because they thought it'd help get over their lost loves. Did it work? Unfortunately not. They had been very good friends for many years, and then out of the spur of the moment, they decided to try having a relationship after experiencing broken hearts. After their break-up, their friendship became somewhat strained for a while, but thankfully it's now back to normal again. At least that's what I last heard about them.
I once heard a friend of mine saying that she actually would have loved to have some more love relationships prior before she decided to marry a guy. (Un)fortunately she met the man of her life right away and didn't have the chance to experience different types of relationships with other guys. One relationship was all it took for her to be a bride.
I've also seen some people getting tired of trying to start a new relationship due to many or some failed relationships. The trauma is too deep to bear after they had given so much time, effort, and love in their prior relationships. They start to wonder if there are really decent partners-to-be left in the world for them to find.
Personally speaking, I think it's good to be able to experience one or two love relationships prior to marrying someone as long as the broken relationships don't traumatize you into trying all over again. But even if you don't, it's just as well as long as you find the right one for you. After all, starting all over again is tiring.
Life is very intriguing. The choices people make, the paths they take, the risks they dare take or daren't take. Don't we all sometimes choose the wrong thing to do, even though we know fully well that it's wrong? I know I do, especially since I'm such a stubborn person.
However, no matter what, I still believe that it's much better to love and lost than never to have loved at all...
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Love Oh Love...
I'm in a "love" mood, so let me share these with you...
I found these quotations in an old email folder, so I don't know the authors. If any one of you knows who wrote these quotations, do tell me so that I can give the credit to them.
Human love necessarily includes friendship: friendship within relationship, within marriage, between husband and wife. When a man and a woman are truly friends, they know each other's difficult points and weaknesses, but they are not inclined to stand in judgment on them. They are more concerned with helping each other and enjoying each other than they are with finding fault.
Love is content to do many things that ego is bored with. Love is willing to work with the other person's moods and unreasonableness. Love is willing to fix breakfast and balance the checkbook. Love is willing to do the down-to-earth things of life because it is related to a person, not a projection.
One of the glaring contradictions in romantic love is that so many couples treat their friends with so much more kindness, consideration, generosity, and forgiveness than they ever give to one another!
And here's a poem I wrote in December 2006, right after I got married the month before. We were still separated by then since I had to do the paperwork first.
More Things I Love About You
I found these quotations in an old email folder, so I don't know the authors. If any one of you knows who wrote these quotations, do tell me so that I can give the credit to them.
True love is NOT blind at all; it sees what is and feels it as it is with no rose-colored glasses and no anesthesia.
Love is open, allowing our hearts to be touched and moved by what exists.
Love is honest, willing to be present to life just as it is, in all its beauty and ugliness.Human love necessarily includes friendship: friendship within relationship, within marriage, between husband and wife. When a man and a woman are truly friends, they know each other's difficult points and weaknesses, but they are not inclined to stand in judgment on them. They are more concerned with helping each other and enjoying each other than they are with finding fault.
Love is content to do many things that ego is bored with. Love is willing to work with the other person's moods and unreasonableness. Love is willing to fix breakfast and balance the checkbook. Love is willing to do the down-to-earth things of life because it is related to a person, not a projection.
One of the glaring contradictions in romantic love is that so many couples treat their friends with so much more kindness, consideration, generosity, and forgiveness than they ever give to one another!
And here's a poem I wrote in December 2006, right after I got married the month before. We were still separated by then since I had to do the paperwork first.
More Things I Love About You
I love the way you dream of me, of us,
I love the way you daydream of me and us and our future,
I love the way we talk about our future,
I love the way you write about me in your diary,
I love the way you tell me everything,
I love the way you sigh dreamily of us,
I love the way you miss me,
I love the way you want to tell me everything else that you might have forgotten to tell me before,
I love the way you think of me,
I love the way you appreciate every little gesture I make,
I love the way you keep every little memento of our togetherness safely,
I love the way we click even we've only been together in real life for 5 weeks,
I love the way we argue about silly stuff,
I love the way we giggle together about our own private jokes,
I love the way we watch movies together and comment on them,
I love the way you shake your head as fast as you can and loll your tongue out at the same time like a maniac,
I love the way you make me smile and laugh,
I love the way you touch me and kiss me,
I love the way you melt my heart over and over and over,
I love the way you tease me evilly only to hold me and love me and comfort me again,
I love the way we've been holding on together even if the odds had been against us,
I love the way you take care of my feelings,
I love the way we purse our lips to each other like baboons craving for kisses,
I love the way your leg hair tickle my legs.
I love the way you make me FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love the way we do nothing particular yet still enjoy each other.
I love the way you move me, melt me, fill my love tank like nobody's ever done before.
You make me wanna teleport myself to you this very second...
I've never been surer that we're so meant to be together.
I only wish God gives us years to come to cherish together.
I can't imagine living without you...
It's like we've truly known each other forever...
I wanna grow old with you...
I don't care even though I keep on writing clichés here.
No language in the world has enough vocabulary to express what I feel for you.
You make me believe in magic, hope, eternity in harmony.
No matter what happens later on in years to come,
I still LOVE the feelings you've made me feel.
Do you know how you've made me feel?
First you filled up my love tank,
Then you made it burst out and got bigger,
Then you filled it up again,
Then you made it expand again,
Then you filled it up again,
And again, and again, and again...
I can't even believe that someone's capable of doing it!
I'm just glad the person is YOU, My Love.
You were made especially for me,
That I know for sure.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
3BT: Saturday, January 12, 2007
1. Being woken up by hubby since sleepyhead me kept on sleeping. He woke me up with a very warm smile on his face and giggly eyes. Yeah, his eyes were giggly HA HA HA HA HA HA...
2. Helping hubby cleaning up snow around my in-laws' yard. Quite an exciting and fun exercise for me! (I'll upload the video clip of hubby doing it later on, OK?)
3. Mother-in-law coming out of the house when she found out I was cleaning up snow to lend me her warmer gloves HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...
4. Being entertained by the music of nature while cleaning up the snow: the BIRDS singing for me!!!! FREE entertainment!!!!! In the stillness of the snowy yard, with the birds singing while I burned some calories....mmmmmm....it was MAGNIFICENT! ;-D
5. Listening to hubby and mother-in-law debate over the colour of a towel HA HA HA HA HA HA...Hubby kept on insisting that it was brown, whereas mother-in-law said that it was light purple HI HI HI HI HI...It was FUNNY 'coz I understood the WHOLE thing! ;-D
6. Salted smoked reindeer eaten with my fave bread HUE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...ABSOLUTELY YUMMY!!!!!!!
7. One of my closest friends writing this YM message to me: "Say hi to Arttu. We thank him for having made Amel feel happy and cherished. That way we don't have to worry about her." AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW...
8. Relaying the above message to hubby via YM messenger and hearing him say: "You're welcome." HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...My heart's SO full of love!!!
2. Helping hubby cleaning up snow around my in-laws' yard. Quite an exciting and fun exercise for me! (I'll upload the video clip of hubby doing it later on, OK?)
3. Mother-in-law coming out of the house when she found out I was cleaning up snow to lend me her warmer gloves HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...
4. Being entertained by the music of nature while cleaning up the snow: the BIRDS singing for me!!!! FREE entertainment!!!!! In the stillness of the snowy yard, with the birds singing while I burned some calories....mmmmmm....it was MAGNIFICENT! ;-D
5. Listening to hubby and mother-in-law debate over the colour of a towel HA HA HA HA HA HA...Hubby kept on insisting that it was brown, whereas mother-in-law said that it was light purple HI HI HI HI HI...It was FUNNY 'coz I understood the WHOLE thing! ;-D
6. Salted smoked reindeer eaten with my fave bread HUE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...ABSOLUTELY YUMMY!!!!!!!
7. One of my closest friends writing this YM message to me: "Say hi to Arttu. We thank him for having made Amel feel happy and cherished. That way we don't have to worry about her." AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW...
8. Relaying the above message to hubby via YM messenger and hearing him say: "You're welcome." HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...My heart's SO full of love!!!
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Amidst a Battle
Recently I found out that I still held too much expectations from my loved ones. I grew disappointed when I felt I wasn't heard as much. I still have a VERY VERY LONG way to go to learn to love unconditionally. I wonder how some people are successful in doing it. I've been crying out to God to help me out and to burn my ego into ashes. It's tiring to feel needy. I don't want to feel needy. I find it SO hard to let go of ALL my expectations. I find it SO hard to do the right thing just for the sake of doing the right thing. I find it hard to "be a friend that loveth at all times" when I'm drained 'coz I feel that I'm not given as much attention as I deserve or need.
Maybe parents know best how to love unconditionally. I certainly don't know yet how to do it. I've been trying to banish my expectations, but it's going on a snail's pace. I'm not giving up on myself, though. I know that once I conquer this battle, I'll have learnt SO MANY things along the way. The process is painful, but I know I will get there someday. I don't know if I will face a similar problem in the future or if I'll deal with this over and over again. I simply believe that once I get through this, it's gonna be easier for me to deal with it later on IF it should appear again.
I find myself torn between my needs and doing what's right. My principle has always been this: if I'm not sincere in doing or saying anything, I'll do my best not to do or say it. I know that in some cases, I can't be too idealistic, but I still feel like clinging to this principle. Maybe it's wrong to grab on to this principle, 'coz it won't do anybody any good. After all, just like when you force yourself to smile, you'll instantly feel better, then maybe if I force myself to love someone even when I don't feel that much love, I'll begin to love that person more. Besides, love is an action, not just a feeling. I can't rely only on my feelings as feelings fluctuate so much.
Okay, then, I guess I'll try my best to love despite my feelings and let's see how far I can go. I'll try my best to "love at all times". May God help me!!!!!!!!!!!!
GAMBATTE KUDASAIIIIII!!!! (as the Japanese say it HE HE HE HE HE HE...)
Maybe parents know best how to love unconditionally. I certainly don't know yet how to do it. I've been trying to banish my expectations, but it's going on a snail's pace. I'm not giving up on myself, though. I know that once I conquer this battle, I'll have learnt SO MANY things along the way. The process is painful, but I know I will get there someday. I don't know if I will face a similar problem in the future or if I'll deal with this over and over again. I simply believe that once I get through this, it's gonna be easier for me to deal with it later on IF it should appear again.
I find myself torn between my needs and doing what's right. My principle has always been this: if I'm not sincere in doing or saying anything, I'll do my best not to do or say it. I know that in some cases, I can't be too idealistic, but I still feel like clinging to this principle. Maybe it's wrong to grab on to this principle, 'coz it won't do anybody any good. After all, just like when you force yourself to smile, you'll instantly feel better, then maybe if I force myself to love someone even when I don't feel that much love, I'll begin to love that person more. Besides, love is an action, not just a feeling. I can't rely only on my feelings as feelings fluctuate so much.
Okay, then, I guess I'll try my best to love despite my feelings and let's see how far I can go. I'll try my best to "love at all times". May God help me!!!!!!!!!!!!
GAMBATTE KUDASAIIIIII!!!! (as the Japanese say it HE HE HE HE HE HE...)
Second Brother
Yesterday I received an email from Arttu's second brother (Arttu's the youngest of three brothers), telling me about his new relationship. I was SO happy whenever I got a short email from him, especially this one. He had had a weird relationship before this one. It was so disappointing for him as the woman dumped him without saying anything. She refused to take his calls and didn't reply his SMSes. That's pretty cruel and childish, as the woman's had a kid herself, so she should be mature enough to know that it's better to break off a relationship by having some kind of closure.
Anyway, last summer we spent time together at the bars as I had written down in my earlier posts. He also met his old best friend a few times. I could see already that they were good together he he he he...After all, they had known each other since they were teenagers. So I was SO happy for him when he told me that they had finally decided to be a couple. Arttu's second brother's coming to this village next weekend to meet his girlfriend and her daughter and parents. She's divorced with one 8-year-old daughter.
Funny thing is that when he found out that Arttu had married me, he said to Arttu, "What's wrong with the guys in our family? (meaning Arttu and his eldest brother) You guys chose tiny women!" LOL LOL LOL!!! This time I could say the same to him, 'coz his new girlfriend is also as tiny as I am ha ha ha ha ha ha...
I guess what warms me is that he trusts me enough to share his feeling with me. I'm happy to be this welcomed to Arttu's family. It never crossed my mind that it could be this beautiful ('coz I've heard so many weird and crazy stories about in-laws), but I'm grateful for it.
So this is one of my beautiful things yesterday. ;-D Since I'm in a love mood, let me share these two poems with you:
Anyway, last summer we spent time together at the bars as I had written down in my earlier posts. He also met his old best friend a few times. I could see already that they were good together he he he he...After all, they had known each other since they were teenagers. So I was SO happy for him when he told me that they had finally decided to be a couple. Arttu's second brother's coming to this village next weekend to meet his girlfriend and her daughter and parents. She's divorced with one 8-year-old daughter.
Funny thing is that when he found out that Arttu had married me, he said to Arttu, "What's wrong with the guys in our family? (meaning Arttu and his eldest brother) You guys chose tiny women!" LOL LOL LOL!!! This time I could say the same to him, 'coz his new girlfriend is also as tiny as I am ha ha ha ha ha ha...
I guess what warms me is that he trusts me enough to share his feeling with me. I'm happy to be this welcomed to Arttu's family. It never crossed my mind that it could be this beautiful ('coz I've heard so many weird and crazy stories about in-laws), but I'm grateful for it.
So this is one of my beautiful things yesterday. ;-D Since I'm in a love mood, let me share these two poems with you:
From Adam Bede
What greater thing is there for two human souls,
than to feel that they are joined for life-
to strengthen each other in all labor,
to rest on each other in all sorrow,
to minister to each other in all pain,
to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.
-George Eliot
Somewhere
Somewhere there waiteth in this world of ours
For one lone soul, another lonely soul-
Each chasing each through all the weary hours,
And meeting strangely at one sudden goal;
Then blend they- like green leaves with golden flowers,
Into one beautiful and perfect whole-
And life's long night is ended, and the way
Lies open onward to eternal day.
-Sir Edwin Arnold
Both images are taken from http://loveyougraphics.com/
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
An Old One
Sunday, August 28, 2005
At one point in life, the desire to mate mutates into a desire to create something extraordinarily beautiful and ancient. The kind of creation that is beyond comprehension, logic, everything!!! The world of love without boundary or limit. An unconditional love that can be so fierce in its protective arms. The kind of love that's only been given to me without my full comprehension of its depth and width and volume, or its depthlessness, widthlessness, and volumelessness.
Suffice it to say that experience IS the greatest teacher.
What I understand now it only a part of the secret I'll experience fully one day. I'd never thought I'd lived to see this day coming this fast!
The lovely creation changes everything. The lovely creation is everywhere. I was once it and I'm glad for it.
Love,
AMEL
P.S. Wonder what this is all about? A baby. When one of my closest friends gave birth and I'd been there with her during the pregnancy, it opened up a WHOLE new world for me. I'd never felt that feminine before. ;-D I was totally amazed at the miracle of procreation in a very personal way.
At one point in life, the desire to mate mutates into a desire to create something extraordinarily beautiful and ancient. The kind of creation that is beyond comprehension, logic, everything!!! The world of love without boundary or limit. An unconditional love that can be so fierce in its protective arms. The kind of love that's only been given to me without my full comprehension of its depth and width and volume, or its depthlessness, widthlessness, and volumelessness.
Suffice it to say that experience IS the greatest teacher.
What I understand now it only a part of the secret I'll experience fully one day. I'd never thought I'd lived to see this day coming this fast!
The lovely creation changes everything. The lovely creation is everywhere. I was once it and I'm glad for it.
Love,
AMEL
P.S. Wonder what this is all about? A baby. When one of my closest friends gave birth and I'd been there with her during the pregnancy, it opened up a WHOLE new world for me. I'd never felt that feminine before. ;-D I was totally amazed at the miracle of procreation in a very personal way.
Friday, August 17, 2007
The Painted Veil (2006 movie)
Just finished watching The Painted Veil (click this link to see the preview). I think it's a beautiful story. A woman got married for all the wrong reasons, got into an affair with another man, yet in the end they reconciled. Most of the movie is set in China with beautiful mountainous backgrounds. It also reminds me of how devastating cholera was at one point in time. It also gives me some glimpses of the political situation and culture in China. (Hey, I may be of Chinese descendant, but I never set foot in China!)
There is one sentence from the movie that stood out like a beacon on a foggy, stormy day. It was when a nun said this:
Funnily enough, after watching Premonition and The Painted Veil, I'm reminded of how precious life is. That our lives on earth is so short. That life is to be cherished every single moment. That we shouldn't take anything for granted, especially our loved ones as they may die sooner than you think.
I recommend this movie to anyone. ;-D But bear in mind that it's a bit long, around 2 hours so make sure you have plenty of time to watch it he he he...
Summary of the book by Somerset Maugham:
Shallow and lost Kitty marries the intellectual and passionate Walter Fane, bacteriologist, who is madly in love with her. Kitty has an affair with the "perfect" Charles Townsend, assistant colonial secretary of Hong Kong. When Walter finds out of their affair, he leaves Kitty with an ultimatum. Heartbroken, Kitty decides to accompany Walter to the cholera-infested mainland of China.
There is one sentence from the movie that stood out like a beacon on a foggy, stormy day. It was when a nun said this:
"But when love and duty are one,
then GRACE is within you."
then GRACE is within you."
Funnily enough, after watching Premonition and The Painted Veil, I'm reminded of how precious life is. That our lives on earth is so short. That life is to be cherished every single moment. That we shouldn't take anything for granted, especially our loved ones as they may die sooner than you think.
I recommend this movie to anyone. ;-D But bear in mind that it's a bit long, around 2 hours so make sure you have plenty of time to watch it he he he...
Summary of the book by Somerset Maugham:
Shallow and lost Kitty marries the intellectual and passionate Walter Fane, bacteriologist, who is madly in love with her. Kitty has an affair with the "perfect" Charles Townsend, assistant colonial secretary of Hong Kong. When Walter finds out of their affair, he leaves Kitty with an ultimatum. Heartbroken, Kitty decides to accompany Walter to the cholera-infested mainland of China.
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