Busy Introvert = Exhausted Introvert

Haven't been blogging or blog-hopping. Been busy at work and other stuff going on in my life, including catching a cold. Making Christmas cards on my own also takes a lot of time (duh, of course!) and other than that I also need a lot of quiet time in between. One thing I've realized even more than before lately is why I married another introvert and I cherish him more than ever. 

Anyhow, one good thing is that I managed to find some Christmas gifts for hubby and I've even wrapped them up in one box and displayed it next to his computer table HE HE HE HE HE HE HEHHHHH...I was hoping that he'd be curious enough, though it's a tough wish on my part because he's such a chilled out person. I even jokingly asked him, "Can you guess what's inside? Can youuuuu?"

He calmly replied, "Why would I want to guess?"

DOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! 

I actually can't wait for him to open it because one of the gifts is something I think he'd enjoy for many hours he he he he...

Actually I think he feels a bit under pressure because he has two gifts for me to think about. First of all my birthday is coming soon and then there's Christmas. I know it's easier for me to find gift ideas for him because his birthday is far away from Christmas he he...but I can't exactly choose when I was supposed to come out of my mom's womb, can I? Poor hubby, though, having to think of two gifts in a short amount of time ha ha ha...


Anyway, this upcoming holiday season may not be easy for some people due to many different reasons. Mel from Stirrup Queens has written a blog post on how to survive this end of the year holiday stuff and she includes lots of other people's tips and tricks, too. 

Here's the link to the article: How to Get From Thanksgiving to New Years When You're Not in the Mood. 

I'll blog-hop later. My head still feels a bit weird. Take care, people!

Introvert Galore: Becoming More Finnish?

I think I've once written how I feel more at home in Finland compared to Indonesia in terms of my being an introvert. What's fascinating is that another expat from the USA, who's also an introvert, has felt the same way. She also feels that in her home country, society expects people to be more of an extrovert than an introvert. I think the longer I stay here, the more I feel like I become Finnish in this aspect. You see, a new expat friend of mine has noticed something funny about the Finns. She said that when she meets up with the locals that she's met many times before, sometimes when they aren't in the mood, you can literally feel a distance between the two of you. My friend's husband had even warned her beforehand about this typical shift in attitude when it came to the locals, so my friend was well prepared, even though it still baffled her a bit.

When I heard this, I started thinking of myself and how true it was. Or is it more correct to say that I'm becoming more like me because at the end of the day, I'm an introvert after all? Whichever is the case, these days there are times when I just don't feel like talking to anyone. Interacting with people can be so exhausting. No wonder I feel so at home with my hubby who can be categorized as a silent type. The longer I stay with him, the longer I stay in Finland, the more I value the sound of silence.

During the time when I was doing translations at home, once an uncle of mine suggested to my mom to try to encourage me to join a club or something like that. He just wanted me to get out of the house and mingle with people. Funny how he didn't say it directly to me, but to my mom, but anyway...I didn't feel like I needed to join any club and I was quite content with my life, but it seemed that he thought I was becoming a hermit or something? I feel that Finns understands the beauty of silence more than Indonesians so to speak, even though on the other hand it's understandable why many people say that (in general) Indonesians are warm people, whereas Finns are rather cold.



I remember trying to find as much information about getting married and getting my paperwork sorted out before moving to Finland from a Finland forum where many expats could share anything, including useful links about how to find a job and how to write an application letter. I think it was someone from USA who wrote that article on how to write an application letter, because the writer strongly suggested that applicants must NOT brag about the things that they had done, which was something that was considered normal or even expected in the writer's home country.

I feel that the Finns love it more when people tone things down. Simplicity is considered more of a virtue here compared to grandiose. Toning down is preferable compared to selling yourself (and I don't mean selling your body, but the ability to convince people to hire you by letting them know passionately about your strengths and your experiences/abilities). I even feel that over here having the necessary papers (certificates/diplomas) is more important than however much hands-on experience and knowledge that you have learnt along the way without any papers to show. I don't know if this happened way back in the old days, but this is what I feel like for today's Finland. 


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Speaking of selling yourself, I had a very intense job interview once in Indo. There were two interviewers and I still remember clearly two of the questions. The first question was: "Sell yourself to us. What do you have? What are your strong points? Convince us to hire you!"

And when I stated the things that I considered my strength, you know what they said? They said, "Anyone else can say all the things that you've said. What else have you got to sell to us?"

Blimey! I was really cornered and I knew right then and there that I wouldn't get the job because I got stuck and it was like seeing myself stumble on a rock and falling down in slow motion he he he...

Anyway, the second question was: "Imagine yourself 5 years from now. What do you want to do then?"

That was really tough to answer because what I had in mind wasn't exactly the kind of job that I was interviewing for and I felt that they really saw through me. The only thing that made me applied for the job was the thought that I would be challenging myself and I'd be out of my comfort zone and who knows how much I could grow there. Long story short, I didn't get the job, but I appreciated the fact that they sent me an email to thank me for coming and to let me know that they had selected someone else. One expat friend of mine once told me that Finns didn't let applicants know if they don't get a job, which she found strange (probably because it was a custom in her home country).

Have you ever experienced any kind of tough job interview? If so, what happened during the interview? 

I don't remember anymore if I've shared it here or not, but this is a really beautiful talk on The Power of Introverts by Susan Cain. I bet many of you have listened to it or at least heard her name, but I'm going to listen to it again, so I'll just share it here just in case you've missed it:

The Introvert Cave

I've been taking sabbatical by going into my Introvert Cave. I desperately need it every now and then, because sometimes I feel like my cup is overflowing with too many thoughts, ideas, information that it just refuses to take anymore and before I reach the burnout point, I need to take a step back and just be. I believe that there's only so much a brain can take at a given point in time, there's only so much one can give at a period of time before the brain and the heart need to take some time off. 



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The Introvert Cave is one of my fave dwelling places. I can read things I'm interested in reading, but I can also stay away from things that I don't want to read (like visiting FB where inadvertently I'll be reading random thoughts and info about other people's lives randomly). Enough is enough. Self-care is important as well. I also listen to a lot of music during this time, as well as instrumental music.

During my Introvert Cave period, I always feel lighter. It's like taking a short break in nature without having to interact with other people too much. I think the benefit of staying in the Introvert Cave every now and then is like an excellent full-body massage - the difference is that the benefit is felt by the mind and soul instead of the body. But hey, if it's good for the mind and soul, wouldn't it also benefit the body? :-D

Yeah, yeah, I know I'm rambling here. I didn't exactly prepare this post, so I was just typing whatever came to my mind. :-D Ahem. Anyway, I saw this quote a while ago in FB.

Source: here

I was wondering why I couldn't choose number 1 AND 3. I know that it only works if the thing that you let define you makes you feel that you have a cause to work for. It wouldn't work if the thing that you let define you makes you feel like a victim, but I think it can work if the thing that you let define you makes you feel like a survivor and then you let it strengthen you.

Case in point: in the beginning, I felt like a victim of infertility and I was so angry in so many ways, but these days I feel like a survivor that enjoys sharing infertility links to many people in order to spread awareness. I think many people have survived this way through bad things: to find a cause or something that they feel can be of use to other people after they've experienced a tragedy.  

What do you think, readers? 

Burnout Here and There

The theme of this week is burnout. This week I've heard of some people experiencing burnout, myself included. I've been taking time out from Facebook. I only check it at a glance to find out if someone has sent me a message or not and then browse through the newsfeed very quickly. This is the second time I've felt this way, but I guess it's perfectly normal to feel like this every now and then. I'm thinking of deactivating it again, but I feel it's not the right time yet. 

When I feel burnt out in Facebook, this is the best description I can give. It's like I'm entering a room filled with holograms of people in my friends list and each of them is saying something. Some speak more often than others each day, some are more silent. However, I can hear them all at once all the same. Politics, religion, cute stuff, sign this petition, hoaxes, oodles of photos, videos, random wall posts, quotes, links to articles, health, etc. It gets overwhelming after a while, especially if I hang around in the room every day. It's like there's a cacophony of voices in my head that just doesn't feel nice after a while. 

It's a totally different thing when I'm browsing for something or when I'm visiting blogs. It feels more "in my control" so to speak, because I only browse for things I want to know/read and naturally the blogs I visit are those that interest me. Because blogging is more lengthy and focused than Facebook, it satisfies me more because it's like having a regular conversation with my friends. However, it is true that in Facebook you can interact with many more people in a shorter amount of time due to its format. However, this introvert gets exhausted if she has to interact with so many people regularly.

I've already begun to feel the benefits of limiting my Facebook exposure, though it's not the same as going offline completely from there. I get more ideas to write and I feel more relaxed and composed and creative he he...I absolutely need a lot of time to hide in my cave ha ha...

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by Facebook?


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Who In Fiction Are You?

I found this funny test through a friend's FB and I tried it and I got this result (confirming what I had just realized about myself):

You are Jane Eyre:

To understand you is to love you. As a deep thinking, passionate yet quiet soul you may be more comfortable expressing your ideas, and ideals, through the written word rather than verbally. Lost in dreams, you may appear distant and undemonstrative to some, but when people get to know you, they discover a warm and kind friend.

Jane describes herself as "poor, obscure, plain and little" and you may be your own harshest critic. Despite your quiet nature, and discomfort with conflict, you will find your voice, and stand up for causes you feel passionate about.

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Why don't you try it as well and let me know your result? :-D I think my result suits me, especially the part that I highlighted. :-D Here's the link:

Who In Fiction Are You?

My Quirks

As an introvert whose battery gets charged when I can have my "me time" (staying away from crowd/people/human interaction), ever since I've gotten to know so many faces in this small village through my job, whenever I get out these days I have to keep my eyes more open 'coz the village's downtown is a small place and I'm bound to meet at least a few of my regular customers. That means I should be ready to smile and say hi and sometimes even chit-chat with them.***

On normal days I enjoy doing that, but on days when I want to recharge, I avoid interacting with other people as much as I can (the only exceptions are hubby, MIL, BIL and SIL). On those "abnormal" days, I prefer staying home or I'd take the shortest route to the supermarket to avoid meeting too many familiar faces. Meeting new people too often has always drained me. I remember that one relative of mine was worried that I'd never get married 'coz I worked from home a lot during the years when I only worked as a book translator LOL!!! He suggested to my parents to encourage me to be active at church (join a church activity group or something), even though I felt perfectly fine with my life and my limited number of friends/human interaction LOL!!!

I'm glad that I enjoy being home and that R2 enjoys being home, as well. In summer it's nice to sit outside in the garden swing, sunbathe while reading a book without having to interact too much with other people on my "abnormal" days. In winter I prefer exercising inside the house. I'm also glad that R2 and I enjoy being together at home and that we get along well. Otherwise where else would my safe haven be on those "abnormal" days? LOL!!!

*** This reminds me of sometime last week when I went to a supermarket and then an old lady chatted me up about my family etc. It was nice 'coz I don't remember having chatted with her at work before, but she did recognize me 'coz of my work. And the perk of having my job is that people who know my job are more willing to talk to me despite my foreign face. :-D

Anyway, I found this AWESOME video clip accidentally last night and I'd love sharing it with you. Here's the description of the video clip: "Fran & Marlo Cowan (married 62 years in 2008 when this was taken) playing impromptu recital together in the atrium of the Mayo Clinic."
 

FB Detox: Withdrawal Symptoms

OK, a few days have passed since I deactivated my FB. The first wave of feeling that came was RELIEF!!! I felt a HUGE LOAD was lifted. Seriously! 

Then after that the withdrawal symptoms appeared ha ha ha ha ha...Whenever I read something good/funny, watched something good/funny, or listened to a good video/music video, the first thought that came up on my mind was, "Hey, I've gotta share it in FB." WHOOPS!!! Not anymore LOL!!!

Then another thing was missing the "attention" I got by receiving notifications in my inbox (I only opted to receive a part of the notifications that I should have got, not all) - whether it was a reply to my comment or a comment to any status update/photo that I had uploaded or someone sending me a PM. 


It's funny what you can really get used to in a few years, but there are many other aspects that I don't actually miss from FB and those aspects make me reluctant to activate myself there, though I know in the end I'll activate myself again just to catch up on those important people who've probably uploaded important photos there. But anyway, it's felt very quiet ever since I deactivated my FB profile and it feels so serene. :-D I enjoy the serenity so much.

I've been thinking about my burnout for the past few days. It probably felt a little bit like what Mel Gibson felt in "What Women Want", when he first started being able to listen to random women's thoughts after having been electrocuted. He was so overwhelmed by those voices. That was what I felt. Overwhelmed.

As an introvert, I thrive more on a one-on-one conversation than group chats. That's also why I enjoy working part-time at work and that's why I don't wish to work full-time at this kind of workplace because I get to see hundreds of people every time I work and that's exhausting for me. FB is a fun and easy way to connect with friends and relatives around the world, but that kind of connection also drains my battery. It's even worse than meeting strangers IRL (in real life) because you get to see/know many more things that you don't normally get when you meet strangers in real life. Anyway, just wanna let you know that I'm totally enjoying my FB holiday here. :-D