This morning started off sunny AND foggy. It's an interesting mix. It was only 3'C when I woke up, but now it's risen up to 5'C in the shade (probably around 7'C in the sun).
I was going to write something else, but then another topic came into my mind. As you all know, Indonesia is a developing country, so there aren't any benefits for people and even the pension money is usually insufficient to have a decent "rest of life" for those who're retired. Thus Indo people have to learn to save as much money as possible during their productive years to prepare for their retirement OR start a business after they retire. Of course this doesn't apply to people who own companies or stores as they can delegate the tasks to other people or their own kids (as long as the companies/stores still run well).
What I don't get is how some parents depend on their kids like leeches. They don't get how hard it is for their kid to support their own families. Once you have a kid in Indo, then your expenses will be SO big, especially if you have more than one kid. Everything in Indo lately isn't cheap anymore, especially compared to the standard salary that people get. I don't wonder if lots more people in Indo (who have standard salaries) choose to have only one kid as the cost of everything is up to the roof these days. Education is SO expensive. I also don't wonder if lots more wives in Indo become full-time career Moms due to inflation, especially if they have more than one kid. Back in my days, the price to get proper education was still reasonable. But nowadays it's all about money, money, money.
One of my close friends married a guy who supports his parents. It IS noble to do that, but the parents don't even care about his growing expenses (now they've a 2-year-old son). They keep on complaining on getting less and less money and that the money he gives them isn't enough. I mean, give me a break. Other than the expensive cost of medicine, how much can two old people spend monthly? My friend's husband decided to quit his job last year due to some reasons (basically, his superior made his life a living hell in the workplace), so he went unemployed for a few months. At first he didn't tell his parents 'coz he didn't want them to worry. I think it's a bad move, don't you?
Finally he told his parents about this and then they blamed her (my friend) for not having talked about it with them before he made a decision. They said that since they hadn't talked about it with them beforehand, that meant that they didn't think of them at all (meaning they didn't care about whether he could still support their life or not by resigning from his job). Ain't that grand? Even after they knew that he was unemployed, they kept on asking for more money from him. He paid for their house rent already and their monthly expenses, but whenever he visited them and they needed other stuff, they'd ask for more from him and he would ALWAYS give the money to them!!!
Plus his elder sister keeps on wanting to "borrow" money from him and he ALWAYS gives it to her no matter how big the amount she asks, even though he knows FOR SURE that she won't be able to return the money. Isn't that crazy? It doesn't make any sense. I'm an eldest daughter and I would NEVER do such a thing to my younger brother. A big sister's supposed to HELP the younger brother if she can, not suck him dry like a leech.
Anyway, he's got a new job now, but he receives a smaller amount of salary. He doesn't tell this to his parents. So since they get less and less than they used to get, they keep on complaining to him. Every year during Lebaran holiday (the Muslim's victory day after a month's fasting), the parents want him to take them for a vacation and his sister asks for money from him. My friend has told her hubby to be honest with his family and to tell them that his salary now isn't as big as it used to be, but he wouldn't budge. My friend doesn't even get any grocery money anymore because he gives too much to his parents and sister.
I can't believe a guy who's already 39 years old can't set boundaries. I mean, I KNOW he's being a VERY GOOD son, but it wouldn't do any good to anybody in the end, would it? His own son keeps on growing and soon he'll be at school and it's going to cost SO MUCH. I don't get it. If his salary is SO huge so that he can afford giving the big bulk of it to his parents AND still have enough for his own family, then I won't wonder about all of this. But the fact is that he doesn't even have enough left for his own family.
My friend's chosen to be a stay-at-home mother since her own mother didn't take care of her when she was a kid. That's why she's determined to raise her own son herself. Now that the son's getting bigger, she's thinking of being a tutor and finding school kids to teach at home. I sure HOPE that'll work well for her, 'coz then she'll get some income to help out with the family expenses. I think that she's been using her own savings account to cover everything these days, but how long can it last? I wish her luck in finding students. :-))))
Anyhow, most of all, I don't get the parents. How can there be parents like that? Oh well...enough ranting. Time for me to go grocery shopping as there are discounted items at Lidl HI HI HI HI...
Have a SUNNY weekend, everybody!!! (both in and out)
Friday, October 05, 2007
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Amidst a Battle
Recently I found out that I still held too much expectations from my loved ones. I grew disappointed when I felt I wasn't heard as much. I still have a VERY VERY LONG way to go to learn to love unconditionally. I wonder how some people are successful in doing it. I've been crying out to God to help me out and to burn my ego into ashes. It's tiring to feel needy. I don't want to feel needy. I find it SO hard to let go of ALL my expectations. I find it SO hard to do the right thing just for the sake of doing the right thing. I find it hard to "be a friend that loveth at all times" when I'm drained 'coz I feel that I'm not given as much attention as I deserve or need.
Maybe parents know best how to love unconditionally. I certainly don't know yet how to do it. I've been trying to banish my expectations, but it's going on a snail's pace. I'm not giving up on myself, though. I know that once I conquer this battle, I'll have learnt SO MANY things along the way. The process is painful, but I know I will get there someday. I don't know if I will face a similar problem in the future or if I'll deal with this over and over again. I simply believe that once I get through this, it's gonna be easier for me to deal with it later on IF it should appear again.
I find myself torn between my needs and doing what's right. My principle has always been this: if I'm not sincere in doing or saying anything, I'll do my best not to do or say it. I know that in some cases, I can't be too idealistic, but I still feel like clinging to this principle. Maybe it's wrong to grab on to this principle, 'coz it won't do anybody any good. After all, just like when you force yourself to smile, you'll instantly feel better, then maybe if I force myself to love someone even when I don't feel that much love, I'll begin to love that person more. Besides, love is an action, not just a feeling. I can't rely only on my feelings as feelings fluctuate so much.
Okay, then, I guess I'll try my best to love despite my feelings and let's see how far I can go. I'll try my best to "love at all times". May God help me!!!!!!!!!!!!
GAMBATTE KUDASAIIIIII!!!! (as the Japanese say it HE HE HE HE HE HE...)
Maybe parents know best how to love unconditionally. I certainly don't know yet how to do it. I've been trying to banish my expectations, but it's going on a snail's pace. I'm not giving up on myself, though. I know that once I conquer this battle, I'll have learnt SO MANY things along the way. The process is painful, but I know I will get there someday. I don't know if I will face a similar problem in the future or if I'll deal with this over and over again. I simply believe that once I get through this, it's gonna be easier for me to deal with it later on IF it should appear again.
I find myself torn between my needs and doing what's right. My principle has always been this: if I'm not sincere in doing or saying anything, I'll do my best not to do or say it. I know that in some cases, I can't be too idealistic, but I still feel like clinging to this principle. Maybe it's wrong to grab on to this principle, 'coz it won't do anybody any good. After all, just like when you force yourself to smile, you'll instantly feel better, then maybe if I force myself to love someone even when I don't feel that much love, I'll begin to love that person more. Besides, love is an action, not just a feeling. I can't rely only on my feelings as feelings fluctuate so much.
Okay, then, I guess I'll try my best to love despite my feelings and let's see how far I can go. I'll try my best to "love at all times". May God help me!!!!!!!!!!!!
GAMBATTE KUDASAIIIIII!!!! (as the Japanese say it HE HE HE HE HE HE...)
Second Brother
Yesterday I received an email from Arttu's second brother (Arttu's the youngest of three brothers), telling me about his new relationship. I was SO happy whenever I got a short email from him, especially this one. He had had a weird relationship before this one. It was so disappointing for him as the woman dumped him without saying anything. She refused to take his calls and didn't reply his SMSes. That's pretty cruel and childish, as the woman's had a kid herself, so she should be mature enough to know that it's better to break off a relationship by having some kind of closure.
Anyway, last summer we spent time together at the bars as I had written down in my earlier posts. He also met his old best friend a few times. I could see already that they were good together he he he he...After all, they had known each other since they were teenagers. So I was SO happy for him when he told me that they had finally decided to be a couple. Arttu's second brother's coming to this village next weekend to meet his girlfriend and her daughter and parents. She's divorced with one 8-year-old daughter.
Funny thing is that when he found out that Arttu had married me, he said to Arttu, "What's wrong with the guys in our family? (meaning Arttu and his eldest brother) You guys chose tiny women!" LOL LOL LOL!!! This time I could say the same to him, 'coz his new girlfriend is also as tiny as I am ha ha ha ha ha ha...
I guess what warms me is that he trusts me enough to share his feeling with me. I'm happy to be this welcomed to Arttu's family. It never crossed my mind that it could be this beautiful ('coz I've heard so many weird and crazy stories about in-laws), but I'm grateful for it.
So this is one of my beautiful things yesterday. ;-D Since I'm in a love mood, let me share these two poems with you:
Anyway, last summer we spent time together at the bars as I had written down in my earlier posts. He also met his old best friend a few times. I could see already that they were good together he he he he...After all, they had known each other since they were teenagers. So I was SO happy for him when he told me that they had finally decided to be a couple. Arttu's second brother's coming to this village next weekend to meet his girlfriend and her daughter and parents. She's divorced with one 8-year-old daughter.
Funny thing is that when he found out that Arttu had married me, he said to Arttu, "What's wrong with the guys in our family? (meaning Arttu and his eldest brother) You guys chose tiny women!" LOL LOL LOL!!! This time I could say the same to him, 'coz his new girlfriend is also as tiny as I am ha ha ha ha ha ha...
I guess what warms me is that he trusts me enough to share his feeling with me. I'm happy to be this welcomed to Arttu's family. It never crossed my mind that it could be this beautiful ('coz I've heard so many weird and crazy stories about in-laws), but I'm grateful for it.
So this is one of my beautiful things yesterday. ;-D Since I'm in a love mood, let me share these two poems with you:
From Adam Bede
What greater thing is there for two human souls,
than to feel that they are joined for life-
to strengthen each other in all labor,
to rest on each other in all sorrow,
to minister to each other in all pain,
to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.
-George Eliot
Somewhere
Somewhere there waiteth in this world of ours
For one lone soul, another lonely soul-
Each chasing each through all the weary hours,
And meeting strangely at one sudden goal;
Then blend they- like green leaves with golden flowers,
Into one beautiful and perfect whole-
And life's long night is ended, and the way
Lies open onward to eternal day.
-Sir Edwin Arnold
Both images are taken from http://loveyougraphics.com/
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Linguistic and Grammar
Funny. I never thought that learning English grammar and linguistic would do me any good in learning another language, but it does. Yesterday in my Finnish course, Michelle (my Brit friend) said that she was confused whenever the teacher used any linguistic terms to explain the grammatical structure of a sentence. She said that she had been experiencing a similar problem with her sons as in Finnish school, they dissected everything in a language.
I've found that after trying to learn Finnish on my own for 6 months, I can absorb Finnish grammatical structures more quickly since I was taught how to dissect sentences at the university I attended in Bandung, Indonesia. Back then I took it for granted. I never thought it would do me any good other than for learning English, but it's NOT true. I'm now SO VERY grateful that my lecturers and my High School English teacher taught me how to dissect sentences and to differentiate clauses from phrases, etc.
Boy, now I wonder what other things I took for granted in the past that might prove to be SO useful for me in the future. Such is life, I guess. ;-D
Anyhow, I accidentally found this WONDERFUL site where you could download lots of WONDERFUL Power Point files. In case you're interested, go here:
They have such breathtaking images that make me realize how WONDERFUL God's creation is he he he he...I haven't had time to browse all the files, but I can assure you that you will NOT regret visiting this site! ;-D
Okay, now let me end this short post with this poem:
I've found that after trying to learn Finnish on my own for 6 months, I can absorb Finnish grammatical structures more quickly since I was taught how to dissect sentences at the university I attended in Bandung, Indonesia. Back then I took it for granted. I never thought it would do me any good other than for learning English, but it's NOT true. I'm now SO VERY grateful that my lecturers and my High School English teacher taught me how to dissect sentences and to differentiate clauses from phrases, etc.
Boy, now I wonder what other things I took for granted in the past that might prove to be SO useful for me in the future. Such is life, I guess. ;-D
Anyhow, I accidentally found this WONDERFUL site where you could download lots of WONDERFUL Power Point files. In case you're interested, go here:
They have such breathtaking images that make me realize how WONDERFUL God's creation is he he he he...I haven't had time to browse all the files, but I can assure you that you will NOT regret visiting this site! ;-D
Okay, now let me end this short post with this poem:
Nine Requisites for Contented Living
By Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
Health enough to make work a pleasure
Wealth enough to support your needs
Strength to battle with difficulties and overcome them
Grace enough to confess your sins and forsake them
Patience enough to toil until some good is accomplished
Charity enough to see some good in your neighbor
Love enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others
Faith enough to make things happen
Hope enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future
Health enough to make work a pleasure
Wealth enough to support your needs
Strength to battle with difficulties and overcome them
Grace enough to confess your sins and forsake them
Patience enough to toil until some good is accomplished
Charity enough to see some good in your neighbor
Love enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others
Faith enough to make things happen
Hope enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Sumu
Yes, you read it right: SUMU /sumu/, not sumo hi hi hi hi...Sumu means fog in Finnish. This morning is VERY foggy, but I woke up with a wonderful sense of contentment and energy. It's weird 'coz I'm not really a morning person. I get more "hyper" during the night, not in the morning hi hi hi...Well, I'm NOT hyper, actually, but I get more energized during the night. My close friends used to get scared when I called them at around midnight 'coz I got pretty wacky and crazy then. I'd tease them a lot and they'd beg me to stop. *evil grin*
Anyway, I won't post anything much 'coz I have to study for my course this evening and yesterday I didn't have time to do that, so today I'm doubling the time. I just want to share this lovely song with you. Max introduced me to this song and I just LOVE listening to it over and over and over and over again he he he...Hope you enjoy it, too, even though it's in French hi hi hi...It's from the musical Le Roi Soleil.
Here's "Mon Essentiel" by Emanuel Moire.
Breathing in the air of contentment,
I find myself giddy with excitement
To make the most of today
And share some smiles with the world.
I LOVE THIS LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The trick is in what one emphasizes.
We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy.
The amount of work is the same.
Carlos Castaneda
Monday, October 01, 2007
Gee, Another Award! I AM Lucky! HO HO HO...
Mel Kaye from Monday Morning Power has given me this award. THANKKKKKKSSSS A LOT, Buddy!!!!!
I'd LOVE to share this award with the three J's:
I'd LOVE to share this award with the three J's:
Computer Desk Meme
Karen from WaterLearner tagged me to do this meme. This is a bit hard for me he he he...
What is your suggestion to make the computer desk more comfortable?
Please put the answers on this list:
What is your suggestion to make the computer desk more comfortable?
Please put the answers on this list:
Maurica said : For me, I need a cordless mouse, that's vital to make my work more comfortable, esp since I'm in front of the pc most of the time! :):):)
Janice said...I need a new working desk, the current one is converted from a dressing table, its a bit uncomfy to work on.
Ed said:
I have a clear view of everything in the room, including a new TV on the other wall so I can do my work and catch a little TV at the same time.
A foot rest where I am seated, just underneath my keyboard.
Since I yearn for a U-shaped workstation, I definitely want my things to be easily reached.
Karen said:
I have a clear view of everything in the room, including a new TV on the other wall so I can do my work and catch a little TV at the same time.
A foot rest where I am seated, just underneath my keyboard.
Since I yearn for a U-shaped workstation, I definitely want my things to be easily reached.
Karen said:
A comfortable workdesk for me must be neat and tidy. A place for everything and everything at it's place. I would begin my day by sorting the documents that I need to look through in the order that I would attend to throughout the day. A short To-Do List would also be drafted to keep me focused.
Most importantly, I would clear my desk at the end of the day before I leave the office. This is somewhat like a routine to mentally end the work day so that when I am home, I am really mentally and physically home.
This is my answer:
Since I'm unemployed, for me as long as I have everything I need on my computer desk, then I'm happy. My computer desk's not too tidy but it's comfy enough for me hi hi hi...I have a mug filled with pens and pencils nearby that's quite handy. More importantly, I like to have a big mug of water on my desk 'coz I drink a lot and I don't like going back and forth to get my drink. I rest my feet on top of a small speaker that my hubby puts on the floor below my computer desk (I find it quite handy as my legs are short LOL!!!). Oh, and I have a lamp table next to my monitor so that when it gets dark here, I simply need to turn it on. Voila!!!
Oh, and one thing I love is having a headset and microphone ready, so whenever I need to listen to anything without bothering my hubby, I can just put it on. Plus there's this media hub that my hubby plugs so that if I want to listen to any music from the computer using the speakers, I only need to turn on the button to switch from speaker to headset. I find it very practical!
I'm not going to tag anybody, but if anybody wants to do this meme, be my guest he he he...
This is my answer:
Since I'm unemployed, for me as long as I have everything I need on my computer desk, then I'm happy. My computer desk's not too tidy but it's comfy enough for me hi hi hi...I have a mug filled with pens and pencils nearby that's quite handy. More importantly, I like to have a big mug of water on my desk 'coz I drink a lot and I don't like going back and forth to get my drink. I rest my feet on top of a small speaker that my hubby puts on the floor below my computer desk (I find it quite handy as my legs are short LOL!!!). Oh, and I have a lamp table next to my monitor so that when it gets dark here, I simply need to turn it on. Voila!!!
Oh, and one thing I love is having a headset and microphone ready, so whenever I need to listen to anything without bothering my hubby, I can just put it on. Plus there's this media hub that my hubby plugs so that if I want to listen to any music from the computer using the speakers, I only need to turn on the button to switch from speaker to headset. I find it very practical!
I'm not going to tag anybody, but if anybody wants to do this meme, be my guest he he he...
3BT: October 1, 2007
1. Today I was SOOO ecstatic 'coz when I was walking home from the supermarket, I spotted a cute squirrel trying to find some food near my apt. building, so I stopped and tried to approach it slowly, very slowly, then I stopped when it was about 1 metre away from me.
It kept on moving up and down nimbly and then after a while it moved to a tree on my direction. At first it jolted to see me, but since I didn't even move once inch, it MADE EYE CONTACT WITH ME! WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I was only about 40 cm away from the squirrel. It felt SO GREAT!!! ;-D The first time a squirrel made eye contact with me!!! YIIIHHHAAAAA!!!!! I wish I had had my camera with me so that I could have had it on tape he he he...Oh well...
This is a pic of a Finnish squirrel that stole a Kinder egg he he he he...Found it in the below site:
2. Making my own pizza from scratch and then it tasted SOOOOO GOOD hi hi hi hi...Topping: mince meat (of course cooked with garlic and tomatoes), reindeer meat, salami, mushroom (only on my side of the pizza), pineapple (only on his side of the pizza), jalapeno chili, and cheese. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...Yeah, I'm a foodie he he he he...
3. Hubby hiding behind the door when I went home from the supermarket and spooked me (he was home for lunch). DARN him he he he he he...
It kept on moving up and down nimbly and then after a while it moved to a tree on my direction. At first it jolted to see me, but since I didn't even move once inch, it MADE EYE CONTACT WITH ME! WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I was only about 40 cm away from the squirrel. It felt SO GREAT!!! ;-D The first time a squirrel made eye contact with me!!! YIIIHHHAAAAA!!!!! I wish I had had my camera with me so that I could have had it on tape he he he...Oh well...
This is a pic of a Finnish squirrel that stole a Kinder egg he he he he...Found it in the below site:
2. Making my own pizza from scratch and then it tasted SOOOOO GOOD hi hi hi hi...Topping: mince meat (of course cooked with garlic and tomatoes), reindeer meat, salami, mushroom (only on my side of the pizza), pineapple (only on his side of the pizza), jalapeno chili, and cheese. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...Yeah, I'm a foodie he he he he...
3. Hubby hiding behind the door when I went home from the supermarket and spooked me (he was home for lunch). DARN him he he he he he...
This and That...
So many things to say, so little time...so let me just try to write this post quickly.
1. Watched Evan Almighty last night. Here are my fave quotes from the movie:
"How do you change the world? By doing one act of random kindness at a time."
"If you ask God for patience, do you think He will give it to you just like that or do you think He will give you the OPPORTUNITY to be patient?"
"If you ask God that your family be closer, do you think He will give it to you just like that or do you think He will give you the OPPORTUNITY to be closer to your family?"
I must say that the movie has some touching moments and funny moments. It isn't TOO funny, but still it's not too bad he he he...
2. The other day I chatted with a friend of mine. She said that she was stuck between a couple. Both parties trusted her and told her about their relationship problems. However, they wouldn't talk about it to each other...at least not yet. My friend's got a dizzy head now 'coz she can't possibly tell on each other's TRUE feelings, as it means she's betraying their trust.
I wonder why do people do that? I'm not talking about your partner's idiosyncracies or annoying habits. It's a risk you have to take for being together with someone and you know as well that the other person'll have to handle your idiosyncracies. I'm talking about serious problems that NEED to be solved. If they're not solved, then the relationship will be sour or the problems'll pile up and there will be an explosion sooner or later.
Back in Indo, my Mom's also in the same position. Her brother told her about his marriage problems, and then his wife also told her about the same problems from her point of view. Mom tried to give advice to each one of them gently so that they could talk things through. However, none of them was willing to do it. Each of them pointed fingers at each other, saying that the other wouldn't listen to them, anyway. Why should it be that way? I know that sometimes you have your guard up and the other person also has his/her guard up, but shouldn't they TRY to do something to save the relationship other than just vent to a third party? Shouldn't they TRY to do something to save the relationship AFTER they seek for advice or suggestion from a third party?
I posted this discussion on MyLot (I've been trying to make some money online by going to MyLot), and it seems there are various reasons. These are the things they said hindered the couple from talking things through:
1. Ego.
2. They don't really want to try to solve the problems. They just need someone so that they can vent their emotion.
3. Fear of confrontation or hurting the other person's feelings.
4. Sometimes in a relationship there comes a point when talking is unbearable. (Gee, I sure do WISH it won't happen to us!!!)
5. Fear of not being listened to.
Oh well...I know a relationship is HARD WORK, but if you're not even trying to make it work, what good things can you expect from it???
3. To all mothers out there, I have a question for you: What are the hardest things in motherhood based on your personal experiences?
;-D You can either tell me here or write a post in your blog he he he he...I'm just curious 'coz I'm not a mother yet, but I want to know what a mother thinks or feels.
OK, time for me to go to the supermarket. I'm planning to make my own pizza from scratch, so it's gonna take A LONG time ha ha ha ha...
Before I forget, let me just add this quick list of 3BT (Weekend Wrap):
1. Sunny weather without a single cloud in the sky on Saturday.
2. Playing cards with my mother-in-law, hubby, and mother-in-law's sister and I LOST HA HA HA HA HA HA...
3. Making my mother-in-law and her sister laugh by (almost) forgetting to take my bag when we were going back home hi hi hi hi...Boy, I'm SO forgetful these days!!!
4. Hiding my hubby's yoghurt while he wasn't looking HI HI HI HI...We were preparing to watch a movie and then he realized that his yoghurt cup was gone HI HI HI HI...
5. Though hubby pretended to sulk for a little while (he refused to share his yoghurt with me), after he was done, he went to the fridge in the middle of the movie and poured me some yoghurt after all. YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!
6. The smell of strawberry and banana wafting to my nostrils whenever I opened my fridge door. Heaven!!!!
1. Watched Evan Almighty last night. Here are my fave quotes from the movie:
"How do you change the world? By doing one act of random kindness at a time."
"If you ask God for patience, do you think He will give it to you just like that or do you think He will give you the OPPORTUNITY to be patient?"
"If you ask God that your family be closer, do you think He will give it to you just like that or do you think He will give you the OPPORTUNITY to be closer to your family?"
I must say that the movie has some touching moments and funny moments. It isn't TOO funny, but still it's not too bad he he he...
2. The other day I chatted with a friend of mine. She said that she was stuck between a couple. Both parties trusted her and told her about their relationship problems. However, they wouldn't talk about it to each other...at least not yet. My friend's got a dizzy head now 'coz she can't possibly tell on each other's TRUE feelings, as it means she's betraying their trust.
I wonder why do people do that? I'm not talking about your partner's idiosyncracies or annoying habits. It's a risk you have to take for being together with someone and you know as well that the other person'll have to handle your idiosyncracies. I'm talking about serious problems that NEED to be solved. If they're not solved, then the relationship will be sour or the problems'll pile up and there will be an explosion sooner or later.
Back in Indo, my Mom's also in the same position. Her brother told her about his marriage problems, and then his wife also told her about the same problems from her point of view. Mom tried to give advice to each one of them gently so that they could talk things through. However, none of them was willing to do it. Each of them pointed fingers at each other, saying that the other wouldn't listen to them, anyway. Why should it be that way? I know that sometimes you have your guard up and the other person also has his/her guard up, but shouldn't they TRY to do something to save the relationship other than just vent to a third party? Shouldn't they TRY to do something to save the relationship AFTER they seek for advice or suggestion from a third party?
I posted this discussion on MyLot (I've been trying to make some money online by going to MyLot), and it seems there are various reasons. These are the things they said hindered the couple from talking things through:
1. Ego.
2. They don't really want to try to solve the problems. They just need someone so that they can vent their emotion.
3. Fear of confrontation or hurting the other person's feelings.
4. Sometimes in a relationship there comes a point when talking is unbearable. (Gee, I sure do WISH it won't happen to us!!!)
5. Fear of not being listened to.
Oh well...I know a relationship is HARD WORK, but if you're not even trying to make it work, what good things can you expect from it???
3. To all mothers out there, I have a question for you: What are the hardest things in motherhood based on your personal experiences?
;-D You can either tell me here or write a post in your blog he he he he...I'm just curious 'coz I'm not a mother yet, but I want to know what a mother thinks or feels.
OK, time for me to go to the supermarket. I'm planning to make my own pizza from scratch, so it's gonna take A LONG time ha ha ha ha...
Before I forget, let me just add this quick list of 3BT (Weekend Wrap):
1. Sunny weather without a single cloud in the sky on Saturday.
2. Playing cards with my mother-in-law, hubby, and mother-in-law's sister and I LOST HA HA HA HA HA HA...
3. Making my mother-in-law and her sister laugh by (almost) forgetting to take my bag when we were going back home hi hi hi hi...Boy, I'm SO forgetful these days!!!
4. Hiding my hubby's yoghurt while he wasn't looking HI HI HI HI...We were preparing to watch a movie and then he realized that his yoghurt cup was gone HI HI HI HI...
5. Though hubby pretended to sulk for a little while (he refused to share his yoghurt with me), after he was done, he went to the fridge in the middle of the movie and poured me some yoghurt after all. YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!
6. The smell of strawberry and banana wafting to my nostrils whenever I opened my fridge door. Heaven!!!!
Totally Fab Award! YIIIHAAAAAAAAAA!!! ;-D
Shinade (Jackie) has given me this award. THANK YOU, Jackie!!!! LOVE this pinky award he he he he he...
This award was designed by Mike At Ordinary Folk and was originally offered by Christy of Totally Fabulous. She says the award is for “bloggers who are fun, cool, and of course Totally Fabulous!”.
I'll pass this award to (I don't care if you've gotten one already or not hi hi hi) :
1. Crow's Feet
2. Random Magus
3. Water Learner
4. Choc Mint Girl
5. Max
6. Kathy's Klavier
7. Victorya Chase Goes to Therapy
8. Fish Without Bicycle
9. Blur Ting
10. The Chicky World of Mother Hen
This award was designed by Mike At Ordinary Folk and was originally offered by Christy of Totally Fabulous. She says the award is for “bloggers who are fun, cool, and of course Totally Fabulous!”.
I'll pass this award to (I don't care if you've gotten one already or not hi hi hi) :
1. Crow's Feet
2. Random Magus
3. Water Learner
4. Choc Mint Girl
5. Max
6. Kathy's Klavier
7. Victorya Chase Goes to Therapy
8. Fish Without Bicycle
9. Blur Ting
10. The Chicky World of Mother Hen
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)