What Language Do You Use In Your Head?

I haven't been blogging in a long time, have I? It's always harder to get back on track once you haven't been in the flow of things for a long period of time. It's almost like going back to your exercise regime or starting a new one after a long break. My tennis elbow problem is still under control, though depending on the days and what activities I've done and the kind of exercise I do, there can be more symptoms (pain, tightness, etc.). I know for sure that I still can't handle the normal amount of work, so I've talked to my bosses about it. It's a long road to recovery, but I'm positive about healing. 

A friend of mine had the same problem and it took her two full years to recover, but even then she warned me that it could happen all over again if I were not careful (maintaining the right posture at work, doing enough exercise at home). So I've been doing more exercise and I've walked more (instead of riding my bike) these days. The arms don't like certain kinds of exercise movements, but I'm only able to find out about it afterwards, so it's a bit of a trial and error in terms of trying out different kinds of exercise programs.

A FB friend posted this video in her newsfeed and I tried it right away. My left arm was giving me a full-blown headache when I was doing this (didn't happen with the right arm) and I actually felt a bit nausea as well (just like what she described in the video), but I felt so much lighter afterwards. She's also uploaded lots of other videos (a few others I've also tried).


I've also been massaging my back and shoulders with the massage stick I got as my birthday present last year (as per my request). It's been helping me a bit, too. I've been using at least two rolls of kinesio tape, since for some reason my skin doesn't like it when I use it in the sauna, even though some people can keep them on in the sauna with no problem whatsoever. 

Anyway, a few weeks ago someone asked me what language I used in my head to think. I answered, "English, Finnish, and Indonesian." I use Indonesian the least these days compared to English and Finnish, so my Indonesian is getting rusty. I noticed this during the Skype call I made to my mom about a week ago. I struggled in finding some words and only the English and Finnish words came out (along with the image of the words I wanted to convey to her) LOL!!! 

The weather has been pretty warm these days (nearing or a little above 0'C), though there's still oodles of snow everywhere. Here's a photo I took a while back. I received some long-stemmed roses, but my vases were all too short, so I ended up having to use a Lion King pitcher for them ha ha ha ha ha...

Invasion of the Languages

The longer I stay in Finland, the more mixed-up my English becomes. Let me give you some example while they're still fresh in my mind. I realize that these days my past tense use in English has sometimes been mixed up with Finnish.

Here's a set of Finnish, Indonesian, and English sentences as comparison:

- Sinä nukuit hyvin. (You slept well).
- Nukuitko sinä hyvin? (literal translation: Slept you well?)

- Kamu tidur nyenyak. (You slept well.)
- Kamu tidur nyenyak? (You slept well?)

- You slept well.
- Did you sleep well?

Notice that in the Finnish language, in the question form, the verb doesn't change at all, though there's the additional "-ko" ending to denote that it's a question instead of a statement. So sometimes when talking to my husband, I'd blurt out, "Did you slept well?" instead of "Did you sleep well?" as the wires of my brain criss-cross between English and Finnish. And in Indonesian language nothing actually changes, only the intonation changes (going up at the end of the question).

Another example was my use of the word "psychologist". In Finnish, it's "psykologi" and in Indonesian language it's "psikolog". At that time I was writing in English and I wanted to write "psychologist", but instead I wrote "psykolog" (a weird combo of the Finnish and Indo version of the word) HA HA HA HA HA HA...

And don't mention the mix-ups I have with "him", "her", "his", "hers" because both in Finnish and Indonesian there's only one word for both genders. This has been happening since a long time ago. Ah, brain! :-D What an adventure you've had HA HA HA HA HA HA...

Language Mess

Let me try to tell you how messy my brain gets in incorporating the languages in my head. I have four languages in my head: Indonesian (the national language in Indonesia), Sundanese (the regional language in Bandung, my hometown), English, and Finnish. Indonesian and Sundanese are my mother tongues, whereas English and Finnish are two foreign languages.

I started studying English at the age of 9 or 10. Went to an English course. Back then we only started learning English in Junior High School (13 years old). Continued studying English at uni (4 years) and then I started tutoring kids and translating books from English to Indonesian until the age of 28.

Moved to Finland in 2007, started studying Finnish on my own for about 9 months, then went on a full-time Finnish course for 4 months and self-study continues until now.


I use Indonesian and Sundanese mainly with my family through Skype calls and in Facebook with my Indo friends. I rarely use long sentences purely in Sundanese, so most of the time Sundanese words are used in Indonesian sentences to describe things that can't be described better by using Indonesian terms/words. I use English mainly in my blogs and FB and my online activities. I use English verbally with hubby, because when I used Finnish with him, my English pronunciation becomes so weird (Finnish has a similar pronunciation with Indonesian language). So these days I use Finnish with hubby's family and at work and in FB with coworkers/Finnish people in my FB. 

My skill levels on those languages have declined in some ways. True, I speak more Finnish these days due to my work, but I'm less concerned with the grammar because most people use the informal version of the language anyway, so bye bye grammar to a certain degree!

Hubby says that I have talked in my dreams using English, Finnish, and Indonesian (he guessed it was Indonesian when he couldn't decipher what I was babbling about in my sleep). 


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Now let me give you examples of the mess:

1. Every now and then I blurt out an Indonesian word either at work or at home. I have NO idea why! 

2. Sometimes I think in English, Indonesian, and Finnish respectively on separate occasions. For example, while writing this post, I think merely in English.

3. Sometimes when I start to think in English (for example), I forget one word and have a hard time finding it on my own. Instead, all I have in my brain is the Finnish or Indonesian word or both Finnish and Indonesian word instead.

4. Sometimes when I speak to hubby in English, I have a hard time finding one word, so to make it easier, I use the Finnish word instead. Not good, I know. 

5. Sometimes I try to write an email in Indonesian and then get stuck with one word. I only have the English and Finnish version of the word in my head and the image of the word. Nice! Not! 


6. Because both Finnish and Indonesian only have one word for "he/she", my brain has reverted back to its Indonesian root. These days when I talk to hubby in English, I mix up the use of "he/she", "him/her", "his/hers" because in both Finnish and Indonesian, it doesn't matter either way.

7. Sometimes at work when I've just finished serving a tourist in English, my brain forgets to switch back ASAP to Finnish. So, I end up using English to serve the Finnish customer behind the tourist, which usually makes us both laugh. :-D

8. There are times when I start stringing up a sentence in my head in English, but all of a sudden in the middle of the sentence a Finnish word appears. 

9. I've started getting more and more confused about English grammar, because my brain sometimes automatically tries to use the Finnish structure of the sentence instead of the English one. 

10. I start to get more confused with the new slang words that my fellow Indonesians use. I have no idea what they mean and it's hard to catch up with the new development when I'm not using it daily (well, not verbally anyway). I wonder how much further away I feel the mental distance between me and my mother tongue the longer I stay here. 


That said, don't wonder why my English has become kinda quirky these days compared to the old days when I didn't know/use Finnish too much. Has anyone else experienced similar problems? 

Note: Apparently they have a term for this kind of phenomena. It's called Language Attrition. It can happen to your mother tongue as well as any other foreign language that you've studied. 

3BT: Random Days

1. The last Christmas gift package that I ordered arrived already yesterday. Phew!!! Just in time for Christmas he he...

2. I've got surprise gifts and Christmas cards this year. THANK YOU, people!


3. A customer bought a big sack of dog food and said, "This is Christmas food." It made me laugh instantly! :-D



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4. We've booked a trip for our spring holiday next year. WOOOOHHHHHHHHOOOOOO!!! :-D THANKFUL to have a chance to do a trip again!

5. Slathering lotion all over hubby's legs in winter and hearing no protest.


6. After serving an English-speaking customer, I turned to the next one and accidentally mentioned the sum in English, which prompted us both to laugh at the same time HA HA HA HA...Some days it takes my brain a longer time to switch back to Finnish LOL!!!

7. Hearing, "Don't run! You don't have to rush! I'm not in a hurry" when I try to come back to the till as quickly as possible. 

8. Finding Jeruk Bali (Balinese Orange) aka Hunajapomelo which took me straight back to my childhood 'coz I used to eat a lot of it when I was a child - and we used to turn the thick skin into a toy. Ah...lovely memories!!! :-D

8. Looking at cute/funny cat pictures (well, mainly cat pics but there are some other animals, too). Makes me go ooh-aah-ing. Mmmmmmmm... 


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Foreign Language Learning

In my younger days, English was taught to students when they entered Junior High School (these days they're even daycare centres that uses English for kids as young as 1,5 years old). Junior High School = 13-15 years of age. However, I had become interested in learning English from a much younger age, so at first my parents tried to teach me some simple words with the help of some basic English books, but then they decided to send me to an English course at the age of 10.

In the course, I wasn't taught "grammar" per se. In fact, the teachers weren't allowed to teach us grammar and to tell us why certain words change whereas others stayed the same. They wanted us to absorb the "grammatical patterns" on our own. I spent about 1,5 years studying in this course (twice a week, don't remember anymore how many hours per session but it couldn't have been longer than 1,5 hours).

Each class had to present a kind of play or they could just sing a song after the semester was done and in the end all of us students would sing together. If I remember correctly, after the first semester was done, all we did was sang a song because we didn't know enough vocabulary yet in order to produce a play. Then after the second semester we had a short play and after the third one, we had a longer play for the audience (mostly the kids' parents and family members). For the third one, I had quite long texts that I had to remember by heart, but that was really fun! :-D





Anyway, then I entered Junior High School and only then I started to learn grammar properly, but I didn't learn it "enough" to be able to teach anyone else because the tests were done in such a way that we only had to choose/write down the right answers.

Only after I entered High School did I learn how to understand grammar in a more complicated way. You see, our English teacher wanted us to be able to explain why we chose a certain form for a certain word. She made the tests such that if we only gave her the correct form WITHOUT giving her the right explanation, she'd reduce our points. I was SO SO SO frustrated by this approach because in the past, I always got excellent marks whereas in High School, I still got good enough grades in English but I couldn't reach the "excellent" level that I longed to reach. Why did I bother so much? Because I cared.





In Junior High School, I could get excellent marks at English tests simply by using my "instinct", but in High School I could no longer do that. So in Junior High School if a friend asked me why I wrote A instead of B, I didn't know how to explain it to her (it did happen a few times). Little did I know that what my High School English teacher did would really help pave my way into the future. Only after I graduated and started tutoring English to little kids, I realized how much I owed what I could do then to my High School English teacher. I kept all her notes (very very thorough notes that she wrote down on the blackboard for us) during the years that I tutor English to kids. Of course the education and lovely lecturers that I got at the university helped me, too, but my High School English teacher was the first one that made such a deep impact towards the way I learnt a foreign language.

Anyhow, thankfully enough a few years back I found her through Facebook and I had a chance to thank her personally for what she'd done, even though at that time I felt as though she were "torturing" me he he he he...

Our Town

In my university days, we got to do one English play on our third year of studies. The play was chosen by the drama lecturer (I suppose) and we had to "audition" to get the parts. Those of us who weren't chosen to be in the play would help out in other ways, such as being involved as make-up artists or helping out with the stage. 

That year, 1999, the chosen play was "Our Town" by Thornton Wilder. In the audition we only had to say certain English sentences in front of our lecturers. Guess which part I landed? One of the dead!!! I'm seriousss...I only had to stay still and have this deathly make-up on and among with my other friends who played the dead, we only had a few lines to say ha ha ha ha ha...

The whole experience was very interesting, though. We rehearsed without using any props or lighting, even though the stage was already built during the last few rehearsals. Nowadays in our university there is a spanking new, real theatre-like room for this purpose, but back then during our days, the stage was really simple.

What I didn't expect, though, was how glaring and powerful the lighting would be. I had teary eyes and I never knew that such powerful lighting could feel THAT hot. But I couldn't really wipe my eyes because I played the dead - so I wasn't supposed to move a muscle he he...But anyway, we all had fun. We invited people to watch - they had to pay a small sum of money for the tickets.

Anyway, here's a pic of me and the others with our stage make-up on. Guess which one I am? I know the pic isn't that clear 'coz it's scanned from a regular photo and the photo itself isn't that clear.

Oh yeah, before I forget...I'd like to share my blogger friend's book. I've always admired her writings and she's been a dear friend to me. I've just bought her e-book through Kindle store. Mind you, I don't have a real Kindle reader, but you can download a free Kindle reader for PC and there are always free books to download in the site and so far I've downloaded at least a dozen books. I still prefer real books compared to e-books, but in terms of space, having e-books is handy 'coz they don't clutter the house ha ha...

Anyway, here's the trailer of her e-book entitled "First Light" by Michelle Frost. If you're interested, you can also buy it in a regular book form through amazon. I've only started reading a few pages but I'm absorbed already!!! :-D As a matter of fact, after publishing this, I'm gonna go back to reading it he he...can't wait to find out what's going to happen!!!! :-D

Finnish-English Translation Update

During the week when I was not feeling very well, I got lazy and I didn't do any translation at all, but now I've started focusing on it again. I must say that it's a really challenging task. There are just some things that sound natural in Finnish and the English translation of it would sound a bit weird. Plus in Finnish you can write such a loooooonnnngggg sentence that just can't be translated into English without my chopping them up into at least two sentences. 

I haven't been translating long texts in a LONG time, so my translation brain is kinda rusty. Oftentimes I get stuck because I have the image of the word in my head, but I can't bring myself to remember the word. It feels frustrating to be able to view the image in your mind without being able to voice it.

Another challenge for me is the vocabulary (obviously). The main character goes fishing and some fishing gears are mentioned along with names of fishes or animals that I don't know 'coz they don't exist in Indonesia. THANK GOD there's Google and free online dictionaries. Otherwise I wouldn't have survived (so far I've only translated 3 stories). *GRIN*

The writer also has a certain style of writing that I'm not familiar with. After all, most of the time I've been reading translated novels (English to Finnish), so I haven't got too much experience reading novels written by Finnish writers (I did start reading Puhdistus by Sofi Oksanen, but then as usual*** I switched book in the middle - my bad!!! But I shall get back to that book someday he he...).

*** Confession: I'm not really a "good reader". I do LOVE collecting books, but I switch books A LOT while reading them. There are only a few novels (among all the novels I've read in my lifetime) that I read without switching and stopping in between. And yeah, that meant that lots of time I had to reread the books I had left behind from the beginning again ha ha ha ha ha...

P.S. I'd love to recommend Terry Pratchett's "Going Postal". It's VERY FUNNY and I LOVE all the characters. For some reason I enjoy this one better than Pratchett's Colour of Magic. Here's the trailer:

Language Mix-Up: Plum

Usually in our household, the one making pancakes is hubby but this time I wanted to do it by myself. I started doing it while hubby was having dinner, but when he saw what I was about to do, he said I was doing it the wrong way. 

I asked him why there should be any specific order? Would it make a difference at all?

He said, "If you're doing it in the wrong order, the pancakes will get plum."
 
I was really confused, so I asked again, "Did you just say plum?"

He said, "Yeah, they'll get plum."

I asked back, "Plum? Luumu?" (Luumu is the Finnish word for plum)

Then he realized his mistake and he said, "Lumpyyyyy!!!"

I couldn't help laughing out loud HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...OK, now I should start cooking the chocolate pancakes slice by slice! :-D

A Challenging Project

I've just started a challenging project. Actually, I didn't come up on it on my own ha ha...OK, here's the story. About a week ago a customer asked me if I could translate a book to English (from Finnish, obviously). I told him I wouldn't know if I could do it or not, but I'd give it a try.

FYI, the said customer had once asked me where I came from, what I did prior to moving to Finland, etc. So he knows that I was a book translator in Indo and that I majored in English literature. That was probably one reason why he asked me that question.

Anyway, he then said that he had written a book in Finnish - thus he wanted to know if I could translate it to English. We didn't have time to talk more that day 'coz I had other customers to serve, so we left it at that. The next time I came to work, though, I found a book in an envelope in my locker (the customer had probably given it to my coworker and told her it was for me). He wrote his name, addy, and phone number on the envelope. I was GLAD to know it wasn't a book of poetry!!!! :-D

I didn't have time to read it because of the wedding party I had to go to last week, so I only started this project this week. It IS challenging 'coz I have never translated any book into English - plus the original language is Finnish. But it's gonna be an interesting project for me. It's been years since I last translated a book (5 years ago), so we shall see how it goes. One thing is for sure...I'll use the dictionaries A LOT - including the online English dictionaries ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...Another sure thing to happen is that it's gonna be A SLOW project. :-D

P.S. One thing I love about life in a small village is that even though there aren't many "activities" and "places to go" here (no university, just a handful of foreigners) , life feels considerably simpler here and I get to meet familiar faces a lot (esp. through work). And it's nice to be able to banter with customers whose faces I remember, even though I don't necessarily know their names.

REALLY thankful for this job that allows me to meet and interact with many people...

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He and She: Language Mix-Ups

Because in Indo language there're no separate words for "he" and "she", just like in Finnish, after living here for about 3 years, I've started mixing up the use of "he" and "she" in the English language. I guess it's normal in a way 'coz in this case Finnish has the same usage of "he/she" like Indonesian language.

Another problem I've encountered is that it seems there are two separate parts (or compartments?) of my brain - the Finnish part and the English part. For example: whenever I work in a Finnish environment, I always try to use my Finnish brain. Meaning I need to focus on understanding Finnish and then using Finnish as a reply - i.e. using my Finnish brain. So, when sometimes foreign tourists come, I have trouble switching to my English brain. One time when I was trying to tell the tourist how much he/she had to pay, I mixed up the words, so I used both Finnish AND English (I said the first number in English and then the second one in Finnish). ARRRGGGH!!! How annoying is that?

I think it occurs more often now 'coz in my daily life I use my Finnish brain more often than my English brain. Even at home with R2 I try to use both English and Finnish - though sometimes when I panic about losing my English ability, I use more English than Finnish, but then the dilemma is that if I use more English than Finnish, then I feel that I'm not using fully the resources that I have on hand (I mean his being a native Finnish speaker). ARRRRRRRGGGHHH!!!


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Side note: I remember one time when I was doing the training at the hotel, the boss came over and said something in English and 'coz I was using my Finnish brain and I was trying to think of what kind of Finnish words she was saying, it took me at least 5 seconds before I finally realized that she was using English to talk to me!!! And right away she said sorry and she switched to using Finnish again.

So, the next time I had to use English again, I had to literally take a few seconds to switch to my English brain before I said the numbers correctly in English. Then they all came out in English. Phew!!!

And I've started thinking more in Indonesian than in English these days - which is a shame actually 'coz it took time to really use English actively in my daily life. But anyway, what happens happens...another thing I realize is that when I'm stressed out and I need to count quickly and act quickly (like whenever I am a cashier), I find myself counting in Indonesian. Why is this weird? Because before I started learning Finnish, for years I had forced myself to count in English (even when counting in my head), but now I've resorted more to Indonesian than English.

Maybe one reason is 'coz Finnish has more similarities to Indonesian than English (and Facebook has helped me use Indonesian more often than before). After all, Finnish and Indonesian pronunciation are similar. Secondly, the usage of "hän" (in Finnish) or "dia" (in Indonesian language) as opposed to "he" and "she". Thirdly, Indonesian and Finnish use the same kind of statement to say "half past (what time)". So, instead of saying for example "half past six", we'd say "half (to) seven" both in Finnish and Indonesian.

What language is in my head when I'm writing my blog posts? English, of course. Well, just wanna let you know the kind of mix up going in my head these days when it comes to languages. If somebody has ever experienced something like this, please do let me know so that I know I'm not crazy ha ha ha...

A Bowl of Mixed Languages

I think since last year (or perhaps even longer than that) I feel that my English ability has getting weaker and weaker. I remember when I first moved here and I could express myself in spoken English much more eloquently and quickly than now. These days there are times when these problems occur:

1. I want to say something in English, but my brain only comes up with the object or the meaning of the word in my brain and I struggle to find the English term.

2. More often than not, my brain can only remember the Indonesian term of the word, though sometimes my brain can only produce the image of the object without even remembering the Indonesian term.

3. Sometimes my brain can only remember the Finnish word, though other times it remembers both the Indonesian and Finnish word without remembering the English word.

Of course in most cases in the end I can still come up with the English word, but it takes (a much longer) time for my brain to search for that word - whereas when I just moved here, that word would mostly be the first word that popped up in my head 'coz I had been mostly thinking in English.

Due to the fact that Finnish pronunciation is more similar to Indonesian pronunciation, I also had some bits of trouble after doing the training in the library last year 'coz I realized that my tongue had reverted to "Indo/Finnish" - e.g. when I tried saying some specific English words, the pronunciation sounded more like "Indo/Finnish". I was SHOCKED!!!

To those of you who know and use at least two foreign languages in daily life, how do you make sure that you still nurture the ability to use those languages equally without letting the other one suffer? Of course it'd help if I get to meet different people regularly equally - meaning where I get to interact with different people purely in Finnish and purely in English regularly, but 'coz that's not the case, I fear that my English ability has suffered greatly (esp. compared to the time when I was at the uni, when I was still actively learning about grammar and stuff).

That's my dilemma now. I don't want to completely use Finnish with R2 'coz then I get less chance to practise my English, but I DO need to use my Finnish with him anyway. I've tried forcing myself to think in Finnish every now and then (even if it means I only think of some short phrases or 1-2 short sentences), but that means that those times I usually spend thinking in English have now been converted to Finnish. It would help if I start thinking in Finnish AND also translating those thoughts in English, but that takes time and energy...or maybe I should try translating all my English posts to Finnish? *gasp* That'd definitely be so tiring he he...

Anyway, I'm just trying to find the best way to balance myself inside this bowl of mixed languages that sometimes frustrates me. I have no problem keeping my Indonesian ability intact 'coz it's my mother tongue. It's my English ability that I'm worried about. I want to keep nurturing my English AND Finnish ability - and if possible I want to get better at both. Oh well...we'll see how it goes...

Where Do I Start?

So many things to say, but I can't cram them in one post. Oh well...

First things first then. I've done 7 weeks of training. Only 6 weeks to go. YAAAAYYYY!!! I hope I can lose a little bit of weight before I fly to Indo 'coz I'm sure I'll gain weight when I'm there, esp. 'coz I haven't eaten any "real" Indonesian/Chinese food since last October. Yum yum...I'm drooling buckets already when thinking of all the food I can eat later he he...

Today my MIL gave me a pair of woolen "tossut" that she made herself. Here they are:


Aren't they cute? Maybe someday I should ask MIL to teach me how to do it. We'll see he he...


Here are two flower pics that I took two weeks ago. Last week and today rain came pouring down, so I didn't take any pictures. The good thing about the rain is that my MIL doesn't have to water all the plants she has outside, so she can rest. :-))))





One funny incident happened at work about a week ago. I had just finished cleaning one room when the boss walked along the corridor and spoke to me while walking towards me "bla bla bla bla bla...?" My brain was trying to absorb the "Finnish" words, but they sounded weird. Half a second later, I realized she was speaking ENGLISH!!! I was using my "Finnish brain", but she was using a different language, so I was flabbergasted for half a second.

She realized she wasn't speaking to me in Finnish when she almost finished her sentence, so she said to me in Finnish, "Sorry" and she translated her words into Finnish HA HA HA HA HA HA...Then I replied in Finnish, of course. I tried to speak only in Finnish at work, 'coz I really needed the exercise. One bad thing about this type of work is that I don't speak or hear too much Finnish, esp. when I have to work alone (there are days I work alone, there are days when someone helps me out).

Oh, and don't worry about my family who live in Indo. They did feel the earthquake, but fortunately nothing bad happened to them or my friends. Phew! I hope God protect them all and that help comes quickly for those in need.

Now I need to start doing something I've been wanting to do in a while. I'll blog hop tomorrow, OK? Have a blessed weekend, everybody! :-))))

Rather Deflated

Today I made a mistake at work. In my attempt to be proactive, I didn't recheck what I was doing and thus the mistake happened. I don't think it's THAT fatal, but still what made it worse was when I was asked whether I had done something else (read: another mistake). I said that I didn't do that mistake. I know that I was asked that question 'coz they wanted to find out who the culprit was, but still it makes me feel sad.

In my frantic state, I didn't even understand one question, even though it was repeated a few times VERY SLOWLY. In the end, since I still didn't understand, it was rephrased into English and only then I understood what was being asked.

Boy oh boy...today is definitely not a good day to boost up my confidence. But I'm going to leave all negative feelings here in the blogosphere and start a new day tomorrow with a clean slate instead of a broken spirit.

GAMBATTE KUDASAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!

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Today makes me feel GLAD that I don't get any salary from them, 'coz at least it eases my mind a bit. Phew!!! And please don't tell me that I shouldn't be too hard on myself since you don't even know what I have done. I just want to throw all negativity out and get it over with so that I'm not carrying it around. I'm NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT going to curse myself over this!!!

Cheers for a better tomorrow!!!!

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High School Revisited

In High School, I wrote quite a lot of English poems. Ever since Junior High School, I started writing this small journal book in English. Why? One reason was that I wanted to practise my English. I wrote the journal also with plenty of acronyms (esp. about those guys I had a crush on HA HA) so that if my parents or somebody else happened to find the book, they wouldn't really understand what or who I was talking about he he he he...That was also the second reason why I wrote plenty of poems. I could use symbolisms and disguise my real content.

I'll never forget the time when one of my classmates asked me to write poems for him to give to his girlfriend. We were on our first grade in High School back then. I was SO pleased, so I did my very best to write a love poem in English he he he he he...Why? Because the girlfriend was a very intelligent girl (she was always the top three in her class) and her English was GREAT, so I had to write the poems well. Otherwise that just wouldn't do, would it?

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I don't remember anymore if I wrote more than one love poem for him, but what mattered most was that he had asked ME to write it for him. :-)))) It was such an honour!

What happened to the couple? They eventually broke up. Now the girl's got two kids already and the guy's still not married, though he's in a relationship. :-))))

A few days before my wedding day (after Arttu arrived in Bandung), I gave my journal book to him so that he could read "my soul". :-)))) He had fun reading it and he asked me some of the acronyms and symbolisms the next day he he he he he he he...

Now that journal's here at home, safe in the cabinet. And my current journal is this blog of mine...I'm sharing my soul with all of you...I no longer need to write poems, since I want you to understand who I am, where I came from, and why I'm who I am...

Winter Wonderland

This afternoon I went out to buy some grocery, including some apples as tomorrow I'm going to bake the apple cake for my father-in-law. I dropped by a bookstore downtown, as well. I wanted to find out if they had a Finnish version of the latest Dean Koontz novel, Odd Thomas. Even though hubby's English is good, he wants to read the Finnish version. He's a HUGE fan of Dean Koontz. He says that he likes reading Koontz better than Stephen King. I thought that I could buy him the book as a Christmas gift from me. ;-D

Anyway, turned out that the bookstore had a Finnish version, but they didn't have a paperback one. The paperback one was in English (€10.90). The bad news was that the price of the hard-cover Finnish version of Odd Thomas cost €35.00. YIKES!!! I told them that I'd wait for the paperback version. There's NO way I'm going to buy a novel THAT expensive no matter how good it is. They said that it might be that expensive since it was brand new.

Tomorrow hubby's planning to have another game night with his cousin, Pirita's Dad. Next Friday there'll be a pikkujoulu (office Christmas party) and he's going away to Rovaniemi with his coworkers and boss. This year they didn't let the employees' wives to go with them, so I'm gonna be home alone from Friday till Saturday. Hmmmm...maybe I should plan a party or something. Too bad you blogger friends of mine live SO FAR away from me. Otherwise I could organize a pyjama party for us girls or something he he he...

At first I was SO sad about his going away to Rovaniemi. I was sad not because he was going away to have a party with his coworkers, but because I WANTED SO MUCH to go back to Rovaniemi and browse around the city. I also wanted to go back to the hotel where we stayed in back in 2004 as they served VERY TASTY steaks. I WANT to eat that steak again he he he...But my hubby, the ever pragmatic guy, said this when I wailed about the steak, "But maybe they don't serve that kind of steak anymore." GRRRRRRRR!!!!! I DO NOT CARE. I WANT to go back there again someday. Period. HE HE HE HE...

I want to go back to Santa Claus Village and take some pics with Santa and also I want to roam around the city a bit to see what they have in store there (esp. to a big bookstore!!!) he he he...

Oh yeah...let me teach you some Finnish words/phrases:

1. Joulu = Christmas
2. Pikku = small
3. Hyvää Joulua! = Merry Christmas! or Seasons Greetings!
4. Joulukuusi = Christmas tree
5. Kuusi = fir or spruce tree
6. Jouluaatto = Christmas eve
7. Kiitos = thank you

OK, I'm gonna try to study Finnish now! ;-D

Operation Speak Up

Karen wrote Silence is Golden in her blog. I told her that in my life, I have to learn the other way around, especially here in Finland. I'm always afraid of trying to practise my Finnish. So the creative Karen has made me a button to launch Operation Speak Up.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for this button, buddy!!! ;-D

This operation is for everyone who's shy, who's afraid of making mistakes when practising a new language, who's afraid of speaking up their thoughts in general. This operation is to challenge anyone to move outside their comfort zone and to take risks by speaking up their minds.

I have promised Karen that I'd try to speak to my mother-in-law yesterday before I launched this operation. Turned out that I didn't have to do anything much as she was the one who initiated the conversation. Arttu was taking a nap after lunch, and since I wasn't sleepy, I got back to the living room where my mother-in-law was cooking. I thought even if we couldn't talk, I'd be able to help out if she wanted to. However, she was almost done already, so she didn't ask for my help. While waiting for the food to be cooked in the oven, she then tried to talk to me.

First of all, she said this slowly: "How old...(then she spoke some words in Finnish)?" I thought she wanted to know the age difference of my parents, so I held up four fingers. She realized I didn't get it hi hi hi...so she took a Post-It note and wrote down her own age on it. Then I realized that she wanted to ask my parents' age. So I told her and she said, "Ahhh...nuori, nuori." (nuori = young)

Then she started asking about other stuff, as well. It was a pretty funny conversation 'coz sometimes she repeated her question several times just to make sure I understood. My problem was that sometimes I understood her question, but it took me a long time to find the words in Finnish and to create a sentence using the words, so she thought I didn't understand, so she repeated the question. Next time I should find out the words for: "Let me think." He he he he he...

Then at one point we had a hard time understanding each other, so she went to her room, took out her pocket English dictionary, and tried to find words to help her explain to me what she wanted to know. I TRULY appreciated her effort in trying to converse with me. I've gotta tell you that I was sweating during the first 5-10 minutes 'coz I knew I was all alone (Arttu couldn't help me) and I had no dictionary with me. But it turned out to be better than expected. Why? Because she was so determined in talking to me with her very limited English, it encouraged me to talk to her with my very limited Finnish. Plus we got to laugh in between when we had a hard time trying to say something in those languages he he he he he...

At another point, we had another difficult time in understanding each other. Gladly by then Arttu had woken up, so he helped me a little. He refused to help me a lot, dang him! Yeah, I know it's good for me to practise, but sometimes I hope he'd help me more by giving his mother a more detailed answer (I can only give simple answers) he he he...

I've gotta tell you that with very limited knowledge, one has gotta be a good guesser, too ha ha ha...One time she asked me about my parents' jobs. I didn't know the Finnish word for "retired", so I told her that my Dad stopped working last year. She then tried to look up the word in her pocket dictionary and showed it to me, and I said YES!!! It felt GOOD to be able to understand each other he he he...

I also told her that my brother was going to get married this December. Then she said, "Oh, but you're here, so you can't go to his wedding, right?" I said that he'd send me pictures of his wedding via email he he he...Then she asked about taxes system in Indonesia (at this point Arttu was our translator 'coz it was too hard for me to explain) and about Christmas celebration he he he...

Anyway, when we got back home, Arttu joked, "I should leave you alone in my parents' place for a few weeks." GRRRRRRR he he he he...

But all in all, I felt SO HAPPY 'coz yesterday I spoke the most Finnish ever since I moved here! I'm gonna try to practise my Finnish with them again next time I see them. It seems that they're eager to ask questions about my country and family he he he...

WHOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPEEEE!!!

I feel like jumping up and down the place (and I stopped sweating after those 10-15 minutes had passed) HA HA HA HA HA...

Free Comments & Graphics Codes

Good news is that next Saturday's our first wedding anniversary. It doesn't feel that way 'coz we've only been together in real life for about 7 months now. The other day I asked Arttu when we'd spend a night at the cabin again, and yesterday he told his mother that we MAY go there next weekend. YIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIEEEE!!! I LOVE going to the cabin 'coz there's no computer or TV to bother us. Just the radio, us, and nature!!! ;-D Plenty of quality time. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

P.S. Next time I'll remember my pocket Finnish dictionary so that I can talk more with my mother-in-law HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...

Friday - Saturday

Hiya, friends!!!

Before I write about my trip, I think I should write about my Friday and Saturday 'coz there were some interesting things happening he he he...SO MANY beautiful things during those days!

Friday afternoon I tried another muffin recipe. The first time I made muffins, they came out SO badly so that I had to put the batter in a big pan ha ha ha ha...this time I managed to make them right, so I made two batches. I sprinkled some sugar on the second batch and I took some to my in-laws and some more to Pori for Arttu's eldest brother and family. My mother-in-law said it tasted GOOD HO HO HO HO...Here are some pics to make you drool ha ha ha...I was SO VERY VERY VERY HAPPY that I wanted to jump around the house...WHOOOPPPEEEE!!!!!!!!!! *grin grin grin*




Want some? I can share some with you 'coz I still have plenty he he he...



Friday night at around 8 pm, hubby's elder brother and new girlfriend came by our place before we all went to bars. They couldn't stop staring at each other and kissing each other. I felt a tad awkward at first, but since they didn't seem to mind our being there while they were so much in love, I began to feel relaxed he he he...I was at first slightly wondering whether I'd enjoy the night as the guy would be busy talking to his girlfriend. I understand that perfectly since they're having a long-distance relationship and they're gonna be separated on Sunday, but I just wish there'd be someone else for me to talk to. Then my hubby said that Pirita's parents would go to the bars, too. WHOOPPPEEEE!!!!

You know why I like Pirita's Dad? He always tries to talk to me in English even though his English isn't too perfect. In the first bar we went in, he told me something funny about Pirita. They dropped her off at her grandma's and then she said to her grandma, "Grandma, since I'm going to sleep with you and grandpa, can you please stop snoring? I can't sleep if you keep on snoring." WA HA HA HA HA HA HA...Yeah, kids are SO honest!!! ;-D

Then not long after that, Kalle came by. He's the guy I've met a few times before. He's into languages, so his English is pretty good and he's always eager in talking to me. WOOOHHOOO!!! My night suddenly went from good to better he he he...It's not that I can't talk to Arttu in the bars, but it's just nice that I can socialize and talk to other adults while we are in the bars. It feels GOOD to interact every now and then, even though I'm not an outgoing type.

Oh, I also tasted Bacardi for the first time that night. It tasted pretty good, actually. I was surprised 'coz it had around 4.7% alcohol level but it didn't feel that much. Arttu bought a few bottles of Bacardi with different tastes, but our fave is the orange one. Don't you worry, though, I only took a few LITTLE sips of each bottle. The rest of the time I just had Coke or iced water he he he...

Then we moved to another bar which was a Karaoke bar. There I talked much with Kalle again while the rest roamed around the place. Oh yes, before I forget, let me show you a pic that Kalle took during last summer. It's SO breathtaking. He said that he loved nature and he loved going to the forest alone and just absorb everything. I told him that that was I loved best about Finland and I said to him, "So you live in the right place." He said that his roots were in Lapland, so even though he sometimes went to the cities, he would always miss this place. Here, take a look at this midnight sun photo. It's taken in Kemijärvi. Don't ask me where it is hi hi hi...



Anyway, after talking to Kalle for some time, we finally sat together again with the others and this time Pirita's Dad talked to me for quite a long time. Arttu was sitting on the next table by then, so he didn't hear what we were talking about. Pirita's Dad said that next time I visited his house or next time he visited my house, he'd try to talk to me in Finnish very slowly so that I'd understand. He also taught me a few new words. He also said that he hoped I wouldn't mind about their gaming nights (sometimes my hubby has game nights at his place or at our place). I told him that I'd known about it already even before we got married, so I didn't mind that. I kinda like the fact that Arttu has a close friend that he can have fun with. Plus I know whom he's with and what they're doing (gaming) and they're cousins, so I'm just glad that they're close to each other.

Actually I've known Arttu longer than Pirita's Dad knew his girlfriend he he he...and he said some things that made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. He said that even from they were young, Arttu loved tinkering with his computer more than going out with them to the bars and that he never saw Arttu do stupid things in the bars. He also said that he knew Arttu was a shy guy and that he could tell that during the time we had a long-distance relationship, Arttu wasn't too "spirited" and that after I moved to Finland, Arttu became more "energetic". He said he could see that I made Arttu happy and that our separation was so hard on him. I told him that it was hard for me, too, but it was probably harder on Arttu 'coz he was a sentimental guy. Pirita's Dad agreed with me about Arttu's sentimentality. And for me, that's a proof that I've known Arttu pretty well and that he does, too. It's just GREAT to talk about Arttu with his close friend. Plus Pirita's Dad cares about my feelings and my Finnish progress, too!!! ;-D

So the night went from better to MUCH better...but as you probably know, the peak of the night was our dance together. The last place we went to was a disco and there we danced the night away he he he he...It made me feel SUPER good to know that I could loosen up and just dance without worrying about what other people thought about me. You know, back in my childhood, being such a super sensitive child, I remember being told as a bad dancer. I don't remember the details of the incident and who said those words to me, but I remember being compared to my brother and everybody said that he danced better than I did. Can you imagine the crush of my self-confidence? So for me, the dance made me SO happy not only because I made Arttu happy, but also because I could finally say goodbye to my demons in the past. ;-D

Such a GREAT night!!! I have to tell you that in the end we got pretty hot on the dance floor. I didn't plan on that! I just got carried away...so I kissed him a few times on the dance floor and we got closer and closer to each other even during the fast dance. The ironic thing was that we NEVER kissed in public before (well, except on our wedding day he he he...), so that was something new for us! ;-D

Anyway, on Saturday we went to our in-laws as usual and here's what I saw in one of their barns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I shrieked when I saw that hanging there he he he he...GOOD thing I brought my camera with me he he he he...The reindeer is probably as "tall" as I am.




Then here are some pics that I took from my in-laws' place. They put a bird feeder on a branch of a tree. I took some videos of the birds, but I have to wait until Arttu comes home to flip it before I can post it in my blog, so be patient, OK?

I LOVE these birdies below 'coz they're SO CUTE:



The below pic is my mother-in-law cacti flowers.



Before we left home to prepare ourselves going to Pori, my mother-in-law and her elder sister hugged each of us and wished us a good trip. Oh, almost forgot...my mother-in-law tried talking to me in English. I was SO touched of her effort 'coz I knew how hard it was for her to say those words!!!!! Seeing her valiant effort makes me become more encouraged to try to speak to her in Finnish even though my Finnish is still so basic he he he...Plus we got so much food from her again. GOD BLESS HER SOUL!!!!!!!!!!! I'm SO VERY VERY LUCKY!!! I LOVE that woman!!!!!! ^________________________________________^

Last but not least...I hope you won't be bored with the scene of the below pic. I find it fascinating that the colours in the sky can make one place look TOTALLY different he he he...

Linguistic and Grammar

Funny. I never thought that learning English grammar and linguistic would do me any good in learning another language, but it does. Yesterday in my Finnish course, Michelle (my Brit friend) said that she was confused whenever the teacher used any linguistic terms to explain the grammatical structure of a sentence. She said that she had been experiencing a similar problem with her sons as in Finnish school, they dissected everything in a language.

I've found that after trying to learn Finnish on my own for 6 months, I can absorb Finnish grammatical structures more quickly since I was taught how to dissect sentences at the university I attended in Bandung, Indonesia. Back then I took it for granted. I never thought it would do me any good other than for learning English, but it's NOT true. I'm now SO VERY grateful that my lecturers and my High School English teacher taught me how to dissect sentences and to differentiate clauses from phrases, etc.

Boy, now I wonder what other things I took for granted in the past that might prove to be SO useful for me in the future. Such is life, I guess. ;-D

Anyhow, I accidentally found this WONDERFUL site where you could download lots of WONDERFUL Power Point files. In case you're interested, go here:

A Gift of Inspiration

They have such breathtaking images that make me realize how WONDERFUL God's creation is he he he he...I haven't had time to browse all the files, but I can assure you that you will NOT regret visiting this site! ;-D

Okay, now let me end this short post with this poem:

Nine Requisites for Contented Living

By Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Health enough to make work a pleasure

Wealth enough to support your needs

Strength to battle with difficulties and overcome them

Grace enough to confess your sins and forsake them

Patience enough to toil until some good is accomplished

Charity enough to see some good in your neighbor

Love enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others

Faith enough to make things happen

Hope enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future

Library and Language Barrier

Yesterday I decided to go to the library to get myself a library card. I was at first hoping that I could go there with my hubby, but he told me to go there alone. Yeah, yeah, I still wanted to depend on him even though it was such a "trivial" matter. However, I thought, "Well, it's maybe for my own sake that he wouldn't escort me there so I should learn to be brave."

So I went there and GLADLY there weren't too many people there. Even so, I waited until the counters were clear he he he...while waiting for the counters to be clear from people, I kept on reciting the words "Puhutteko englantia?" (read: Do you speak English?) in my head. My heart went pitter-patter as I hadn't really started a conversation in Finnish with anyone ever since I moved here.

After some time (and a kick on the butt - figuratively), I approached one of the desks and asked the question. I actually got too nervous so that I didn't really understand what she answered, but I talked to her in English anyway...SLOWLY to make sure she understood me. The problem is, Finnish people have varied abilities in understanding or speaking English (I think they may understand everything I say, but they may have difficulty in expressing themselves in English, except for some fluent ones). Plus the woman I was talking to was middle-aged, so I was really wondering about her English ability. Gladly she could speak standard English pretty well.

She told me to fill in a form (gladly everything was in English) and present my passport to her. After that she gave me my library card and told me I could use it starting that day. Then I asked her a few questions. She faltered when answering my last question. It was clear she was trying hard to remember the English word of a Finnish word he he he...but in the end she managed to explain it to me the "longer" way. I was so sure she looked relieved when she saw me leave he he he he...LOL!!!

Anyway, one problem I've encountered is that language barrier. Since neither I nor Finnish people had English as our mother tongue, then it's really a struggle. Plus I have little confidence in speaking Finnish. Even though I have memorized lots of words already, but when forming the words into a sentence, it takes a LONG time to do so. Plus I haven't really practised speaking much. I can understand many more words in a text (of course only the words that I've memorized) than when listening to somebody speaking (even though they may say all the words that I've memorized). Anyone who's ever learnt a new language will understand my problem. :-)))

I told this "problem" to my friends and boy, I'm SO glad some of my friends are or have been in the same boats. Three of my close friends are now living in USA, Germany, and Holland respectively, so they've encountered the same problem. When I explained to them how my heart went pitter-patter when trying to talk in Finnish, they shared similar experiences with me. Two of them said, "Hey, it's SO normal!" And that really made me feel SO much better. :-)))

Years back, if something like this ever happened to me, I would have beaten myself over and over again for being so foolish (I'm one of those people who HATE making mistakes). However, one of my resolutions this year is to be K I N D to myself, so I'm gonna stick to it.

Sharing something with others feels SO good in this case. In being vulnerable to mockery or being misunderstood, sometimes you find that you're comforted and understood. Better yet, you find that you're encouraged and strengthened, knowing that you're not alone.

Now I want to dedicate this song to all my friends and fellow bloggers who've been sharing my life journey, THANK YOU SO MUCH for having been there for me.

Enjoy "At The Beginning" by Richard Marx and Donna Lewis. (Btw, I've been trying to put the html sign "center" for the lyric, but I still can't move it to the middle. If anyone knows how to fix this, do tell me. THX A LOT!!!)

DONNA LEWIS & RICHARD MARX lyrics

3BT: July 26, 2007

1. When my hubby came home bringing a package of toffee ice cream cones. Last night I casually mentioned that I would love to eat ice cream and today he brought me some (a new flavor that I hadn't tried yet). YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! Btw, it tasted as GOOD as SIN!!!!! LOL!!!

2. Hearing English spoken by a Polish couple I met at the post office. I can't tell you how GREAT it felt to hear ENGLISH in this Finnish world.

3. Smelling the new Axe effect "Bom Chicka Wah Wah" on my hubby's armpits. MMMMMHHH!!! ;-D

4. Ready-made food to eat when starving. YUM YUM...One of the BEST things in the world!!!

5. Listening to cool songs when I have a hard time to fall asleep (due to coffee) and letting the music fly me up to the sky...