3BT: Random Days

1. I managed to deal with the additional shifts even while I was feeling under the weather. Crossing my fingers that I won't get sick!!! 

2. The flower-giving grandpa came by the store to do some grocery shopping when I had just finished my shift, so I quickly went to the cashier, bought some flowers, wrapped them with some paper, taped the receipt there, told my coworker that I would give them to a grandpa (so that she wouldn't charge him for the flowers while showing the receipt that I had taped there), and then went to find the grandpa and told him that they were for his wife. Felt GREAT to be able to return his favors!!! He's been giving me flowers on many occasions already!  :-D

3. Taking these pictures made me feel happy...

4. A grandma complimented my voice! Ha! It's never happened before in my entire life he he he he...so I'm gonna cherish the memory hi hi hi hi...:-D

5. Finally getting a few days off in a row. Phew!!! Now I can catch-up with blogging and blog-hopping. :-)

6. Finding a suitable gift for someone as well as another souvenir for Ken's little brother. And having the budget to buy both is something I'm THANKFUL for.


7. Joululimppu (a kind of Christmas bread) with delicious smoked salmon made by Kiveliön factory, eaten with a slice of cheese and chili sauce! YUMMY!!!!



glitter-graphics.com
8. Knowing that MIL's heart is working well (no blockage). She went for a check-up in Rovaniemi hospital last week and the result was OK. No need for surgery or anything. Phew! 

9. Have to teach a coworker to do something and I've finally finished writing down my list so that I remember everything I have to teach her. :-D

10. Finally exercising again after not having done it due to my busy schedule and being slightly under the weather. Felt GREAT! :-D


11. Almost forgot: A coworker asked me if we had kids and I said no. Thankfully she didn't pry whether we wanted kids or not or anything else. She just accepted the answer. YEEEEEEESSSS!!! :-D

Blast from the Past: Mom's History

My mom is the youngest of six children - actually seven if you counted one elder sister who died young due to some kind of disease. People kept saying that this sister was the most beautiful one of all. After my mom was born, grandma split up with grandpa. I don't think they had an official divorce, but they lived in different houses. Being a "dragon lady" (grandma had such a strong personality), grandma started selling food in the local market and due to this fact, she couldn't take care of the kids, so the kids were sent to relatives' places. My mom was taken by one relative whose daughter was almost the same age, so this cousin's mother breastfed my mom as well. They played together a lot* and only after my mom reached a certain age did she realize that she had blood siblings spread around in different places.

Grandma split up with grandpa because she couldn't handle his jealousy. Back then birth control had just started being promoted in Indo and because grandma was fed up of being pregnant and giving birth almost every year, she wanted to use some form of birth control, but grandpa wouldn't have it. He thought that it would give grandma "access" to "do it" with other men. He also got jealous at her whenever she dressed up and put on some makeup. 

Anyway, after some time the siblings decided to go back and live with my grandma. I don't know who made the decision, but finally the siblings lived in the same house with grandma. I'm pretty sure the siblings still kept in touch with grandpa as well, because when I was really young, I also went to visit grandpa, though I don't remember anything about it because grandpa died when I was still so small. All I remember of him came from a memory of his pic - he has white hair and a long white beard. Typical old Chinese man at that time he he...like in a kungfu movie (like in the pic below, but white). :-D In fact, we always referred to him as Grandpa Beard or Engkong Jenggot in Indo (seriously! I'm not making it up!).


All I know about grandpa was that he came from mainland China and then met my grandma. Grandma was born in Indo already, so she didn't speak Chinese. And grandpa was some sort of medicine man. When his second son (my uncle) couldn't have kids for years, grandpa made him some Chinese concoction and I suppose it worked for them 'coz afterwards he and his wife did go on to have two children of their own. 

Back to my mom's story...after the siblings went to live together with grandma again, they started helping her out. My mom would tell me how she had to get up early before going to school so that she could help out prepare the food to sell at the local market. That's why all the siblings (including mom's brothers) are able to cook great food, because they were born in a family that made a living by selling food. Even until her old age, grandma kept on selling food in the local market. Only after her health declined did she finally stop doing so. 

I'm not sure my mom's other siblings got a chance to get a proper education other than elementary school, but my mom finished High School and she did go to a university, but she stopped halfway because back then there were some communist activities in Indo and so she started focusing on earning money by selling food since then. So my mom never worked in a company or any other place. She's always been her own boss. :-D She has retired when my brother's son was born 'coz she's been helping take care of him, but every now and then some people who miss her food would still call her up and order some of her specialties. :-D


glitter-graphics.com
Quite a childhood, no? But my mom grew up to be such an independent, mature, and stable woman, though she's not a feminist. Next time I'll talk a bit about my dad's childhood and how my parents met. :-D

* Even until now she's still close to that cousin of hers whose mother breastfed my mom, because they feel like sisters in a way, I suppose. :-D  

P.S. Grandma loved grandsons better than granddaughters (grandma lived with us for years until the day she died, so it was easy for me to observe her). I'm really glad that my parents aren't like that and that they treat me equally with my brother.

3BT: Random Days

1. A grandma gave me a bar of chocolate (again). She's just SO sweet and thoughtful! :-D THANK YOUUUU!!!!! And yes, the graphic below described my facial expression very well upon receiving the chocolate bar LOL!!!


2. Another grandma told me that her hubby had been missing me at work 'coz he hadn't seen me in a long time. (Unfortunately I don't know which one her hubby is 'coz I meet too many customers at work each shift, but that means the only thing I can do to make sure that I treat him well is to treat everybody well.) I'm touched!!!

3. Me: "Hey, I've just recently noticed that my buttocks aren't as supple as they were before. Have you noticed, too?"
Hubby smiled wickedly and nodded.
Me: "WHAAAAATTT?????? Are you pulling my leg or have you really noticed the difference?"
Hubby: "Yeah, I've noticed."
Me: "When did you realize that they'd changed?"
Hubby: "Ages ago:"
Me: "WWWHHHHAATTTT????" (short pause) "But you still love them anyway, right?"
Hubby: (nod) "Yep."
Me: (smile) "Good."


4. Taking a holiday from FB has done WONDERS to my brain. I feel like it's been unblocked and now it can breathe freely again. Phew!!!

5. Sauna scent. I love adding some scent (we've mostly used birch or eucalyptus) to the bucket of water we keep in sauna. It's like aromatherapy! Heavenly!


6. Learning to be more assertive at work when needed. It ain't easy but I'll celebrate each little step forward that I make! :-D

3BT: Random Days

1. Yesterday I finally got confirmation from HQ that I could take an extended summer holiday to go back to Indo. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!! Now I can really jump up and down and tell my family that I'm DEFINITELY coming home. :-D

2. Two friends and the mother of one of them are DEFINITELY coming to visit us in June. They've booked the flights to come here, so it's gonna be SO MUCH FUN 'coz I haven't met them in years!!! YIIIHHHAAA!!!!

3. One grandmother told me that she was happy to see my joyful face whenever she visits the store. It was a nice surprise to hear something like that - makes me wanna do even better to improve my service quality. :-D

4. On the same day, another guy gave me such a nice compliment about my work performance. :-D

5. Finding cheap curtains in a local auction store.

glitter-graphics.com

6. Finding a cheap Finnish novel in a local bookstore. (As usual can't resist buying a cheap novel, though I don't know yet when to read it HA HA...)

7. Fresh strawberries cut into slices and eaten with nutella pudding. VERY VERY delicious!

8. Sunny days where I could sit on the swing and read a book. :-D

3BT: Random Days

1. Hubby made me laugh so much last night till I cried and it was hard to stop laughing ha ha...

2. The grandpa that had given me flowers three times gave me a bar of chocolate the other day.

3. The same day that grandpa gave me chocolate, a grandma insisted on having me take some candies from the bag of candies that she bought. :-D

4. I've been meeting the little girl whom I adore a lot these days and yesterday the girl's little sister started interacting with me, too. She held up her arm towards me and followed me with her gaze wherever I went ha ha ha...(FYI, I was shopping at that time)

5. A regular customer (who had never asked me anything before) went back after paying and asked me where I came from and where I learnt to speak Finnish. When he found out I had a Finnish hubby, he asked me if I had kids already and when I said no, he asked, "Have you even reached the age of 20 yet?"

ROFL ROFL ROFL...So I look at least 12 years younger? That's quite a number!!! *HUGE GRIN*

6. My FIL has been staying at the hospital due to inflammation and fever but he's doing better though they're still having some tests done.

7. New comfy socks that I bought.

8. Living in a village where I can leave groceries inside my bike's bags without losing them.

9. Reading things that enlighten me towards other people's life experiences that never crossed my mind before.

A Little Princess

The other week I ran into a neighbour. This person happened to teach us something on our Finnish course, as well. She's known R2 for years and years. That day she was with her granddaughter. The granddaughter's name is Milena and she's around 4 years old.

Since we live nearby each other, we walked home together from the supermarket. On the way home, Milena told her grandma, "Grandma, grandma, I have a wish!"

Her grandma asked, "What do you wish for?"

Milena answered, "For you, I wish for hair!"

Grandma replied, "Okay, and what do you wish for your Dad?"

Milena answered right away, "A sword!"

Grandma asked again, "What do you wish for Amelia? This woman is Amelia." (she pointed at me)

Milena thought for a little while and said, "A BIG SNOUT!" (she specifically mentioned a reindeer snout)

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!

Her grandma once told us in the classroom that one time they were playing together. Milena had a magic wand and she twirled it around grandma's head and said, "You'll change into a frog. You'll change into a frog."

When the grandma didn't change, Milena then decided, "Grandma, I think this wand is broken. It's not working."

Oh dear he he he he....

Kids can be SO VERY FUNNY he he he he he...Sorry I haven't blog-hopped. Been SO BUSY today. I'll do it tomorrow, OK?

Mom's Wisdom: The Task of Distributing Grandma's Inheritance

Some of you may know that my grandma (Mom's mother) spent her last years with us. To read the story of my Mom's childhood and how my grandma got to live with us, go here: In Memoriam. Anyway, my Mom was given the task of distributing grandma's inheritance to everybody. Grandma had worked all her life as a food seller in a traditional market in Indonesia (this is also the job that my Mom still does until now), so she had plenty of belongings.

My grandma died when I was still in High School. Back then I didn't understand the true value of my Mom's wisdom in distributing grandma's inheritance, but now it truly amazes me.

You see, Mom has 5 elder siblings, one of whom had died years before grandma did. When grandma was sickly and dying, she asked my Mom to promise her to give some specific jewelleries to one of her daughters-in-law. Mom remembered that promise, so she gave them away to her after grandma died. But what about the rest of grandma's belongings? She had her own fridge, her own cabinet, her own cupboard, her own plates, pans, table, kettles, cups, tea service set, etc.

Mom knew that if she didn't distribute them fairly and wisely, some of the siblings or spouses may be suspicious or disgruntled. So she decided to write everything down on a piece of paper. The list went like this:

1. A set of tea service.
2. A fridge.
3. A table.
4. Two diamond earrings.
5. Two silver belts.
6. A cupboard.
7. A dozen of bowls.
8. Etc.

Then she wrote down each number along with the items' names on small pieces of paper and rolled each of them. She made sure that there would be equal number of pieces of paper for all six of them. I don't remember whether in the end there were 24 rolled pieces of paper or less or more than that. Then on a certain date, she gathered everybody and asked them to grab the rolled pieces of paper from a big bowl, one at a time until all the rolled pieces of paper were distributed. As a rule, she stated that nobody could protest since it was they themselves who chose the rolled pieces of paper.

Even so, one of them complained after getting some things that she didn't want, but Mom didn't care about it. After all, it was fair and square and everybody was there to witness it.

Six siblings with six different temperaments and characteristics (well, the dead brother was represented by his wife or daughter), yet Mom managed to do the right thing. I salute her!!! ;-D

Another Award + A Fond Memory of Chicks

Max has generously shared this award with me. THANK YOU SO MUCH, Girl!!!!!



In this post, I also wanna ramble a bit about chicks. I have a fond memory when it comes to chicks. Whenever we visited my Dad's mother during my childhood, there were always lots of chickens and chicks near her house. Just like us, she used to live in a small alley. My brother was the one who had a way with animals. I was always too passionate so sometimes cats scratched me 'coz I squeezed them too tightly ('coz I thought they were SOOO SOOO CUTE!!!).

Anyway, one time the CUTE yellow chicks sauntered to my grandma's yard, so I asked my brother to pick one of them so that I could touch them. I knew I couldn't get them myself and I was SO sure he could get a hand of one of them 'coz he got that "magic gentle touch". He moved in such a way as not to disturb the chicks and voila! He caught one of them. WHOOPPPEEE!!! We were both SO ecstatic!!!

However, just as I was going to caress it, my grandma came out and told us to let it go. I guess she thought we would do something that could hurt the little chick. Sadly my brother did let it go. Sob sob sob...Well, what makes it such a fond memory is the fact that my brother still remembered the incident, even though we were still pretty young back then. We'd tell the story to my parents or his girlfriend or other people with a sentimental feeling. We were THAT close to caressing the chick and playing with it he he he he he...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/rigbymel/268579466/in/set-72157594309426954/

Grandma's Death

As I've told you earlier, when I was four we moved to live with my grandma (Mom's mom) in a house that my mother bought for her. We moved there to make sure that she wouldn't live alone during her old age. Just like my mother, she still sold food at the traditional market until she could barely walk anymore.

My grandma had a bad temper. She fought with the fruit sellers or vegetable seller and she wouldn't mind yelling harsh words. She loved boys more than girls, so naturally she loved her sons and grandsons more than the daughters and the granddaughters. It's just a well-known fact. There were some precious moments, though, when my parents had barely enough money to cover our expenses and to buy our basic necessities, my grandma would buy a big bottle of Sprite every now and then and gave a cup to my brother and I. That small cup of Sprite was really such a HUGE treat for us, so we would sip it bit by bit (just like drinking wine) since every drop was SO precious for us. We would only get that treat from grandma!

Grandma had also some health problems. I don't know the English name, but the Indonesian name is "asam urat". Basically if she had too many nuts and some other specific kinds of food, then her leg muscles would be stiff and she would have problems walking. If it got worse, then one foot would get swollen and it would make it harder for her to walk. I must say that looking back, she was one VERY TOUGH lady. Even when she had trouble walking, she wouldn't give up walking around with the help of a stool that had the right size to be used as a four-legged cane. She kept on doing her activities with the help of this stool.

I was never really close to my grandma, so I didn't really feel the loss when she passed away. She got really sick for a whole month before God took her away, if I remember correctly. She stayed home and my parents decided to hire a nurse to help take care of her since my mother couldn't juggle work, kids, and taking care of grandma during the night. We had to change nurse a few times since they couldn't handle grandma's temper.

Remember that my mom sells food in the market, meaning she cooks all the food herself and she has to get up at around 3 or 4 am to warm up some of the food or cook them and then she goes to the market at around 5.30 or 6 am and she'll go back home at around 10-11 am. By then she has to prepare lunch already for the family. Busy, busy, busy.

Back to grandma...Before being bed-ridden, she fell down on the bathroom floor a few times, so in the end my Mom told her not to lock the bathroom door whenever she had to go there. Back then we didn't have a seating toilet, so only God knows how she managed to pee or poo by squatting down. Her arms must've been pretty strong to hoist herself up again with the help of the stool.

Anyway, I was around 16 years old during my grandma's last month. She became so frail as she got bed-ridden. We had to move her every now and then since it would hurt her if she stayed in one place for a long time. She peed and pooed in bed with the help of a potty. Her intestines couldn't digest her food anymore, though she could still eat. She also experienced prolapse of the uterus.

I watched her body shrink so fast during that month that it scared me. I could see her rib cage and pelvis CLEARLY through her skin. Her cheeks became so sunken and there was no more body fat, just skin covering the bones. It was...now I can't find the word to describe it. It was just discomforting and I think in a way I was shocked since she used to be a very strong woman who would yell out to other people. A strong woman who still sold food even though her memory had started to fail her, and she was reduced to THAT frail bed-ridden figure who was unable to distinguish what was real and what was unreal?

She had flashes of dead people surrounding her every now and then. She said she saw her dead sisters, but she didn't even realize that they were dead. She went in and out of "reality". She truly believed she saw them. Since she was a Catholic, so a Pastor came over to pray for her and to give her the last sacrament. A few other Christian colleagues and relatives visited her to pray with her. At first she refused to say, "Jesus, forgive all of my mistakes." She would stop right then and there and wouldn't follow the words of those people who tried to pray with her. She said to Mom that she saw a road, but the road was dark and she didn't know which way to go. She kept on saying this over and over and over again.

I don't remember anymore who finally managed to make her say those words, but at last she said those words, "Jesus, forgive all of my mistakes." And you know what? A day after that, she called my Mom and said, "Now the road's bright. I can see it clearly." And my Mom said to her, "Go on and follow the road. Don't worry about us. All your kids have gotten married and they're all well. So just go and don't worry about anything else." And true enough...not long after that, she took her last breath. I think it happened a few days afterwards.

I wasn't sad when she died. I felt that God had finally stopped her pains and given her the very comfort she needed most. I felt that she was freed from every suffering on earth. Upon reflecting all this, my Mom once said, "I never knew what a person experienced or saw during his or her last moments on earth. Now at least I know one version of it."

To my grandma, I'm glad now you're in a better place. :-)))) THANKS for having brought my Mom into this world. ;-D

P.S. Tomorrow I don't think I'll write due to the birthday party I mentioned in my earlier post, so see you later on Sunday or Monday! Have a BLESSED weekend, everybody, and stay healthy!!!! ;-D

In Memoriam

Yesterday I got an SMS from my brother. My Mom's elder brother was taken to the hospital (the same hospital my Dad was treated). He got into ICU due to his swollen heart. Just this morning I received another SMS from him. My uncle's passed away already. Mom naturally cried as my Mom had always been protected by her elder brother (Mom's the youngest). I wonder what they're thinking now...the elderly...when death will come to pick them up, I guess? I know death is coming to get all of us, but when you're old and you see your peers are taken away one by one, it must feel closer than ever. But I'm not going to talk about death now. This morning I'm reminded of my Mom's past which I'd love to write here to make sure that I don't forget it.

My grandma (Mom's mother) split up with grandpa as grandpa was such a jealous man and because they had kids in a row every year. Back then there was still no birth control and when birth control did appear, grandpa wouldn't allow grandma to have anything to do with it. Why? Because he thought grandma would use it to "sleep around". Right! An old-fashioned man indeed. Remember that this all happened a LONG time ago in ASIA, though!!!

Anyway, grandma had 7 kids. My mom's the youngest. One of the kids died when she was 7 years old (if I remember correctly) due to a certain disease that nowadays would be considered "easy to heal". Since grandma split up with grandpa, grandma started selling food for a living. Therefore, she had no time to take care of her six children. So her sisters took care of the kids. Thus the kids were separated for some time. They lived in different homes. If I remember correctly, Mom didn't know she had sisters until she reached a certain age. Since they had different upbringings, they grew up to be TOTALLY different people. (side note: I know that even with the same upbringing, kids can grow up to be TOTALLY different people, but I mean in this case they've got diverse history when they are still kids, so the different family histories have an impact on their future lives, too)

Mom stayed with a certain aunt. This aunt had a daughter almost the same age as Mom, so they both breastfed to the same woman. Luckily for Mom, this woman was so nice to her. Oh yeah, Mom was also the only child who had a birth certificate showing the right date of her birth. The rest of the kids? They had birth certificates, but the date shown on their certificates may be a few weeks or months later than their birth dates. So Mom's the only one who knows her exact birthday.

Mom used to tell me lots of things about her past. I LOVE those moments. One time she told me about her conversation with her grandma (meaning my great-grandma). People during that age had LOADS of kids, usually at least 6 of them. Some could have up to 13 kids (probably every year as there was no birth control yet). Anyway, my great-grandma told Mom that her vagina was as huge as a tunnel. Why? She had given birth to many kids, plus back then they didn't stitch her up. Back then they let nature run its course. I have a doctor friend and she says that the vagina can heal by itself, though it will take a LONG time to do it. Mom said that back then, right after childbirth, a woman was supposed to wrap herself up tightly with a sarong to help quicken the process of healing and then they were supposed to squat over a period of time each day above a small coal stove for the same purpose. YIKES!!!

Btw, in my Mom's age (when she was a teenager), before there were sanitary napkins, they had to use a kind of towel as sanitary napkins and it was SO hard to wash them clean. YIKES again!!!

I don't know more details about my Mom and her siblings, but it seemed that one time they got back together again and lived under the same roof with my grandma. My Mom once asked grandma how she could feed all six children. Grandma said, "I just put six plates of food on the table and let them eat." Mom asked, "But then the little ones must've been unable to eat properly. The dining room must've looked so messy after meal time." Grandma answered calmly, "Sure, then I just swept the mess off the floor." Such a "messy" life it seems.

Back in my Mother's age, parents would be anxious if their daughters weren't married by the age of 20. My Mom set the record by getting married only at 32 years old. Why? Because she saw how unhappy some of her sisters were, so she didn't want to rush into marriage. I can only imagine how tough my Mom must've been. I mean, I KNOW she's tough, but it must've been hard to live with such pressure. Even I felt the pressure when my friends started getting married and I wasn't even close to planning it.

In Indo, there are lots of weddings where family members gather and on those days, if you're deemed old enough to get married, they'll start asking, "Who's gonna get married next?" or "When's your turn?" So there's still so much pressure now, even though I think the age limit's risen up to 28-30 years old now.

Back to my Mom...since she wasn't planning on getting married soon, she had time to save enough money to buy my grandma a house. Mom felt sorry as grandma was staying with another daughter and they didn't get along well. My grandma had a TEMPER allright! She wasn't the easiest person to live with. Anyway, after saving money over the years, finally at the age of 25 years old (which was such an inspiration to me!!!) she could buy a land with an old house on top of it. Her brothers helped in fixing the house and Mom got a loan, too. Finally my grandma could live there. Then we moved there to stay with grandma when I was around 4 years old (in the house where my parents still live now).

Although the house was bought by Mom, the land certificate stated that grandma owned it. Thus, when grandma started to get sick, she decided to split the house for her six children. I can only imagine how my Mom must've felt back then. I mean, we were the only ones who didn't have a house yet and it was Mom who bought it for her, so it should've been Mom's, right? However, Mom wasn't daunted. Wisely she did what grandma asked her to and then she decided to buy the house from the other siblings. If I remember correctly, 2 siblings decided to give up their rights to Mom. So Mom only had to pay to the other 4 siblings by getting a loan from a bank. In the end she paid off the loan and the house is now hers again. She said to me once about all this, "Even though back then I was hurt by my mother's decision, but God knows who had been working hard to get the house and finally the house's mine again."

So many memories...I guess I should just stop now. I just want to relive the memories today, in memoriam of my uncle: may you rest in peace and may God give your family strength and comfort.