We had a relaxing Christmas and on Christmas Day, I woke up at around 10 am and then went out for a walk as the sun was rising and I noticed that the sky was absolutely gorgeous. I knew I only had limited time to enjoy the sky (perhaps around half an hour), so I went out to take some photos and videos. Photos can't do justice as the beautiful hues are everywhere around me, so took some videos with my new mobile phone to test out how good the result could be. The fingers of my right hand were totally frozen and painfully numb as I had to take off my right hand glove to take the videos. The temperature was-25'C. It took at least five more minutes before I could feel my hand again, but it was worth the pain he he he he he he...As the different hues were across the whole sky, as I was walking to the bridge of Kitinen River, I even walked backwards at some point during my walk just to admire the different colours at different parts of the sky. Awesome! But first, here are some photos...Click to see bigger views. Enjoy!
We went on a mini break last weekend on a whim. We accidentally had time off together and when we browsed through the accommodation online, I found a decent one with a cheap price, so we went to Levi. Levi is a famous skiing place in Lapland and they organize world championships there as well (not sure how often, though). It's about 100 km to the north from Sodankylä. Hubby had been saying that he'd take me there someday, so that was it. :-) It was truly Winter Wonderland and we both enjoyed the fact that it wasn't too crowded and the people there naturally started using English with me he he...Hubby said it was refreshing to hear English in his own home country. One very interesting thing was that the supermarket there provided lots more types of exotic fruit, even the ones that I can't find here. Of course the prices of those exotic fruit were horrendous (about €24-25 per kg whereas the price of bananas can be as low as €1,20/kg) but still it was fascinating to see. We didn't go skiing, but went bowling. :-) Here are some photos I took there and I turned one of them into a Christmas card. The barrel photo was taken in one of the restaurants and I only took the photo because I liked the text. :-)
Wishing you all a peaceful Christmas (to those celebrating it) and a peaceful end of the year and a refreshing new year!
1. This funny conversation between two female and a male at a supermarket.
F#1: (tapping the other female's shoulder in front of her) "Good evening, girl." F#2: (turning around) "Oh, good evening, girl." M: (behind the two of them) "Evening, girls." F#1: (turning around) "Evening, boy. Well, we are both girls and you are indeed a boy."
Hint: All three of them were retired HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHH...LOVE a good sense of humour!
2. Hubby went away for a pre-Christmas party with his boss and coworkers and I got a sweet SMS from him.
3. Despite the fact that someone got sick at work and there was nobody else to replace her and it was the day before Finnish Independence Day (when the store got closed), it went very well at work.
4. Our store is closed for Independence Day, so everybody at work definitely gets a day off. :-D 5. Listening to this Christmas song:
I worked on Christmas eve and after that we went to get MIL and then we went to the graveyard. The temperature was still below zero that day (but not too cold), so Winter Wonderland was still intact. We lit some candles in front of FIL's graves and MIL brought some leaves to decorate it. Here are some pictures taken in the new cemetery and the old cemetery. There were lots of people and there were already so many candles everywhere.
Christmas Day was really wet. Until today the temperature has been above 0'C, so it's been really slippery and wet out there. What a weird end of the year! So much of the snow has melted away and it gets SO dark outside. If the weather prediction is right, the temperature will be below zero again only after New Year. We shall see about that. This is my first time experiencing December like this (including some watery rain). Usually at this time of the year there's at least as much snow as in the photos above. Anyway, I had a funny story from work. I had an evening shift on 23rd and before work started, I had told myself to remember saying "Hyvää Joulua" (Merry Christmas) at the end of each transaction. OK, so everything went well for a few hours until one time I was serving a guy and after that I said, "Kiitos (thank you)" but instead of saying Merry Christmas, I said "Hyvää viikonloppua" (Have a good weekend) instead. Yep, I managed to wish someone a good weekend on a MONDAY!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...Well, at least my mistake managed to make the guy and the customer behind him smile. LOL LOL!!! Anyway, I had fun again tricking hubby with the Christmas gift. This time I wrapped one of the gifts three times with some wrapping paper (it wasn't a big gift, so I didn't have to use too much paper) and then I wrapped it with some bubble wrap and then I put it inside a bigger box along with the other gift and then I wrapped it with some wrapping paper again. Watching him struggle to be able to see what was inside the gift was WORTH IT! WOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! :-D :-D :-D In this post I'd also like to say that I've finally written downthe letter for my mom. It was bittersweet to write. I ended up writing a 4-page MS Word document (plus one paragraph on the 5th page with font size 12 Times New Roman). I know it's going to be overwhelming for her to read, but I want her to know what we've been through because I hope that she'll take comfort in the knowledge that God has healed our bleeding wounds and dried them up and He has used our pains to comfort others in a similar situation. So PRAISE THE LORD for our infertility!!!
I haven't heard anything from my mom yet, but I know she needs time to digest everything and calm herself down (bro said that she was crying after reading the letter). Bro helped me explain to her what kind of support I needed from her - bless him! I've sent her a text to let her know that she's appreciated and loved. I hated the fact that I had to send the letter (I thought about it for weeks before finally writing it down), but I feel that it's important for us both that she knows how far we've come. I want her to be released from the burden of thinking and praying for our miracle pregnancy, because that's not what we want anymore. We've buried that dream and I want her to do the same. I want her to be happy for our little family.
Just wishing you a beautiful and blessed Christmas...hope that those who are feeling lonely and hurting will find some comfort and love this Christmas season...
I'm in the middle of composing an important letter in my head. I'm going to transfer it to text later. You see, if you're a regular reader, you've probably known that we've decided to surrender to life without kids. After spending a few years trying to conceive and thinking that family = husband + wife + a kid (a few kids), it tookA LOT of energy and a long winding healing process to finally switch to thinking that a complete family = me + hubby. My huge hole in the heart has dried up and we've been content with what we have (read: meaning on most days, we can focus more on what we have and be thankful for what we have instead of the hole in our hearts, though there are tender moments here and there). During our infertility journey, I've told my mom succinctly about our decisions and every time she seemed to be supportive. Last summer during our holiday, mom wrote me an SMS saying, "Last year on your birthday I woke up early in the morning and sent a prayer to God so that you'd be pregnant. Instead your SIL got pregnant." I was shocked when I read that SMS. I told her about our decision to live life without kids already three years ago and back then she said it was a good decision, but last year she was still praying like that? Mind you, I AM thankful that I have a mother who prays for me, but I find that it's rather useless to pray for someone to get something that the person in question doesn't want anymore (that the person in question doesn't even try to get anymore). What's the use for that? I know that I can't control what she hopes for us and I KNOW damn well she means well, but nevertheless I felt sad and upset when I read her SMS. Why? Because what she thinks will make us happier only makes me feel that what we have right now is not enough.
The world is already so full of reminders of our losses and we need all the support we get to live the kind of life that we've chosen. In the past I had some guilt over the fact that I couldn't give my parents any grandchildren, but I've learnt to get rid of the guilt...but I haven't actually told her about this kind of guilt. I'm planning to tell her about this guilt so that she knows how hard it was. Choosing this path hasn't been easy and I need all the support I can get. If the person saying those words isn't my mom, I won't even consider trying to explain all these to her/him, but because I'm still going to keep in touch with my mom, I need and want her to understand my situation better. You see, a few weeks ago I was talking to mom on Skype and she told me that a long-distance relative of hers came for a visit. When the auntie saw my wedding photos, she realized that I had married a foreigner, so she asked my mom the usual stuff (where I live etc.) Auntie: "Does she have kids?" Mom: "Not yet,because she postponed it and used birth control pills." Auntie: "Oh yeah, I also know someone who used birth control pills to postpone having children and after that they had trouble conceiving. They finally had a child after four years of trying." Again I was shocked when I listened to the story. I know that my mom didn't just tell me the story for no reason. So she was more or less blaming me for the use of birth control pills? And does that mean she still hopes for a miracle pregnancy? I'm always thankful to have a mom like my mom and I admire her for many different reasons, but I'm struggling with how to tell her gently about all these things (where do I start, how much should I divulge, etc.?). The reason why I finally thought about writing her all these stuff is because next year we're planning to visit Indonesia and I just don't want to hear these kinds of words coming out of her mouth anymore. These kinds of words don't help us in any way whatsoever.
OK, change topic...I think this is going to be a very memorable Christmas for me because of many reasons. :-D :-D :-D First of all, the gift I sent to someone who was such a heaven sent years ago was welcomed with open arms. I really love people who can not only give, but also receive with open arms. Secondly, I calculated my budget and I made a last-minute order of extra gift for hubby which I hoped will make him smile. Thirdly, at first we thought it would be such a quiet Christmas with just the two of us, but turned out MIL could still enjoy it with us here, so WHOOOOOOPPPPEEEEE for that! :-D Fourthly, I sent something to someone which again I hope will make that person smile. Last but not least, I'm VERY THANKFUL I have enough budget to do all of the above and that I still have a job despite the tough economy. THANK YOU, Lord, for allowing me to do all these things.
1. Had fun at the pre-Christmas party with my coworkers. We rented a fired wood hot tub and I enjoyed soaking myself in the tub in the yard, though couldn't stay in the tub too long because the water temperature was 40'C he he he...Here's a pic of the tub:
2. Even though I was lousy at playing Alias with some of my coworkers, we laughed so much that my cheeks were so sore. :-D
3. The party organizers were thoughtful enough to know that I wouldn't drink wine, so they bought me some juice and soda. :-D BLESS THEM!!!
4. Cooking and eating seafood while hubby's away from home, so nobody complains about the fishy smell LOL!!!!
5. I made some berry pudding and rummy sauce and was wondering how on earth I could bring them to work because it was kinda heavy, but thankfully hubby was able to give me a lift. :-D And glad to know my coworkers liked it. :-D
6. I've bought our own Christmas hamfor the first time. Hopefully we'll be able to cook it ourselves without making it too dry. It's gonna be interesting because we've never prepared it ourselves ha ha ha ha ha ha... 7. Watching this video:
1. I managed to deal with the additional shifts even while I was feeling under the weather. Crossing my fingers that I won't get sick!!! 2. The flower-giving grandpa came by the store to do some grocery shopping when I had just finished my shift, so I quickly went to the cashier, bought some flowers, wrapped them with some paper, taped the receipt there, told my coworker that I would give them to a grandpa (so that she wouldn't charge him for the flowers while showing the receipt that I had taped there), and then went to find the grandpa and told him that they were for his wife. Felt GREAT to be able to return his favors!!! He's been giving me flowers on many occasions already! :-D 3. Taking these pictures made me feel happy...
4. A grandma complimented my voice! Ha! It's never happened before in my entire life he he he he...so I'm gonna cherish the memory hi hi hi hi...:-D 5. Finally getting a few days off in a row. Phew!!! Now I can catch-up with blogging and blog-hopping. :-) 6. Finding a suitable gift for someone as well as another souvenir for Ken's little brother. And having the budget to buy both is something I'm THANKFUL for.
7. Joululimppu (a kind of Christmas bread) with delicious smoked salmon made by Kiveliön factory, eaten with a slice of cheese and chili sauce! YUMMY!!!!
8. Knowing that MIL's heart is working well (no blockage). She went for a check-up in Rovaniemi hospital last week and the result was OK. No need for surgery or anything. Phew!
9. Have to teach a coworker to do something and I've finally finished writing down my list so that I remember everything I have to teach her. :-D 10. Finally exercising again after not having done it due to my busy schedule and being slightly under the weather. Felt GREAT! :-D
11. Almost forgot: A coworkerasked me if we had kids and I said no. Thankfully she didn't pry whether we wanted kids or not or anything else. She just accepted the answer. YEEEEEEESSSS!!! :-D
Our Christmas went peacefully as usual. This year because I didn't have to work, we managed to do some trips before enjoying our time together at MIL's place. On Christmas eve, we picked up MIL to go visit the graves. We lit some candles (we went to two different graveyards where they had MIL's parents' graves as well as FIL's parents' graves),
This is the graveyard near the old church:
It was -20'C that day and the sky had some pinkish colour at around 1 pm. Here are two views:
Then we went to visit FIL at the old people's
home. He had just had lunch and he was given some coffee and joulutorttu
in the kitchen.We gave him some Christmas gifts and then after we moved him to bed, he went to sleep right away, so we left and visited MIL's elder half-sister (who's also her very close friend). We gave her some chocolate and then we went back to MIL's place because BIL and SIL had promised to come at around 4 pm.We had the traditional Christmas food in Finland and then played some cards, but BIL and SIL had to leave earlier because they were going to spend Christmas with SIL's side of the family.
MIL had asked me to buy some red wine, so I bought a bottle of French red wine, though I wasn't really sure if it was good or not because when I went to the store, there were SO many different types with different explanations, so I just chose one of them ha ha...R2 said that it wasn't too bad, but it wasn't too good, either ha ha ha...I only tasted a little 'coz I'm afraid of the rash happening again like what happened on my first Christmas in Finland.
Anyway, after sauna we opened our gifts and R2 did get tricked!!! He thought I only gave him one gift, but I had hidden the second one in my bag. He opened the gift and thought that he only got a Donald Duck book. Only after that I gave him the second gift, which was his actual gift: a computer game he he he...He's been gaming it ever since we came back home! :-D
We stayed up late playing cards (not as late as the previous years, though! I guess we're getting older and we get tired more easily LOOOOOLLLL!!!) and then I had fun watching three squirrels chasing one another outside of MIL's apartment. They were SO cute!!!
Here's a pic of one of them. It was so dark outside already so it was hard to get a good pic. Thus I had to tamper with the pic and turned it into sepia mode:
And on Christmas day I saw a punatulkku (bullfinch) among the trees. It was SO vivid due to its red colour among the whiteness of snow. Here's a pic of it...I also had to tamper with the pic to make it brighter. Otherwise it'd look so dark.
Before Christmas I tried taking pics of natural snowflake forms on my bike, but it was SO hard. I just want to show you that when the temperature is colder and it snows, the snowflakes retain their original forms for a while when they land on non-warm spots (like this pic I took of my bike bag). It isn't the best pic (again the darkness didn't help me capture the snowflake form as well as I could), but I suppose this should do...
OK, enough for now. I'm now busy working again until New Year's eve, so not too much time to relax until then he he...
After all the rush at work, it's time for me to get a few days' of rest to celebrate Jesus' birth...I wanna share with you these two blessings this time...
1. I almost dropped a doughnut while taking it out of the bag. R2 and I were sitting in the kitchen at that time, about to drink coffee. I saw R2 smiling after I almost dropped the doughnut.
Me: "Hey, don't smile 'coz I almost dropped the doughnut!" R2: "I'm not smiling 'coz of that. I'm smiling 'coz I'm happy. After all, I have you!"
Me: (awwwwwwing inside) "Unfair! That's an unexpected response!" (smile)
2. Made some banana-chocolate pastries for my coworkers which became a hit (and I could share with them how easy to make it, too). Glad to know they liked 'em! :-D
Recipe: a box of frozen pastry (mine has 5 sheets of frozen pastries), some bananas, and some chocolate. Let the frozen pastry out in warm temperature until it's soft, then cut them into thin strips (around 2.5 cm wide) then cut a banana in half. Wrap the half banana with the pastry strip diagonally until it's all covered. Do it until you're out of pastry and bananas. Bake them in the oven until they're golden brown. Let them cool off for a while. Then melt some chocolate (I prefer dark chocolate around 200 grams) with a little butter and smear it on top of the pastries. All done! :-D Result: 10 banana-chocolate pastries.
3. A customer saying nice stuff to me that made my eyes wet. BLESS YOU, each and every single one of you! I'm REALLY blessed by your words!
4. Talking to Mom on Skype after she got back from Taiwan with her friend. Glad to know she had fun and that she only felt a little unwell once during a bus trip but after taking some anti motion sickness pill, she felt much better.
5. The very slow translating project I'm doing for a customer is nearing its end. Only about 20 pages left, though I still have the big task of editing my translation, but it's always nice to know that a project is almost ending. :-D It feels like almost completing a marathon (not that I've ever been in one, though).
6. Being able to enjoy Winter Wonderland scenery this month already. Even though the snow has mostly melted now, but it was such a treat!
7. Start listening to Christmas songs already....HO HO HO HO HOOOHHHH...
Just some pictures that I've taken these past few days...bought a set of sticker to cheer up our kitchen window yesterday. Some of the pics were taken with my mobile phone 'coz I didn't have my camera with me.
First pic: somebody else's Christmas light. Taken by mobile phone.
Again taken by mobile phone at around 12.30 pm yesterday. The temp. was only around -5'C.
Taken yesterday by my new Sony camera at around 2.30 pm. For some reason the camera took it with Twilight mode and it made it purplish. The actual colours should be white (for the foreground) and dark blue for the sky (except the pink part).
The stickers I bought for the kitchen window...
The details:
Okay, now it's time for me to blog-hop a little and then exercise. I haven't had time nor energy to exercise due to the busy days at work. I bet I'm still going to be super busy until New Year at least.
I was SO SO HAPPY this Christmas due to several reasons HUE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...
1. I managed to trick R2. How? Well, when I started browsing for a gift for him, I didn't know what to buy. I accidentally found a new novel written by his fave author (a translated novel, that is - though his English is good, he prefers reading novels in Finnish). Being broke (after my trip to Indo and after booking for the plane tickets to Helsinki), I couldn't buy more than one gift, BUT I HAD to disguise the book so that he wouldn't know it was a book, right?
So after I sold plenty of empty beer bottles/cans (leftover from my training in the hotel which I hadn't sold yet), I used that money to buy some packets of salmiakki. So I bundled all of them into one gift that had such an irregular shape that R2 wouldn't have known what was inside HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO...
When it was time to open the gift, he took out one packet of salmiakki first from the wrapper and then another one and another one. Then he took out the book last. By then his smile became wider HA HA HA HA...After opening the book wrapper, he said, "This is JUST what I wished I would get!"
HUE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...BINGO!!!
1st pic: The lowest temperature on Christmas Day 2009:
2. MIL obviously wasn't expecting anything, but we got her a new computer HD and a lamb-shaped neck pillow. She wanted to pay for the HD, can you believe it? Of course R2 said NO!!! HE HE HE...And when she opened the neck pillow box, she shrieked, "AHHHHHH how did you know???" Then she hugged it and smiled so brightly he he he he he he...
2nd pic: Firewood.
3. The winter pants I ordered for FIL fit well!!! :-D I knew he needed a pair 'coz MIL mentioned it once, but I wasn't sure whether or not they had bought a new pair - when the gift was opened, MIL said, "This is just what he needs. I told him that we'd buy him a new pair of winter pants when the shops start selling everything on sale and now we don't have to buy them anymore." HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...
3rd pic: The beautiful sky on Christmas Day.
4. I was craving for Bailey's Irish Cream (chocolate mint flavour - thanks to the incessant ad campaigns on TV), so I told R2 about this. On 23rd, I went out to buy it and without my knowledge, R2 had bought a bottle, too! Oh dear he he he...So we brought one bottle to my in-laws' place and shared it with MIL and FIL (BIL didn't stay there 'coz he continued the party at his girlfriend's parents' place) and now we still have a bottle at home - we can drink it later on New Year's Eve HO HO HO HO HO HO...
5. Bought a bouquet of flowers for in-laws' 47th wedding anniversary (if I had written here about this, I had miscalculated I think - 'coz I thought it was their 48th anniversary ha ha...). Anyway, they got married on December 26th.
What do I get? It's a secret HA HA HA HA HA HA...ahem...anyway, now time for me to call my parents 'coz today's my Dad's birthday. ;-D I'll blog-hop sometime later...
1. Feeling like honeymoon again when coming back from my Indo trip. WHOOOPEEEEE!!!!!
2. MIL hugging me TIGHTLY and saying that she had missed me! :-D I had missed her too!
3. Being kissed by Ken on the cheek (without asking him to do so!).
4. Spending time with my family and friends in Bandung.
5. Going to the spa, going shopping a few times, and watching a movie with my Mom despite her current busy life as Ken's caretaker.
6. Being able to chat using a webcam with hubby during my Indo trip. THANK GOD for a faster internet connection in Indo, too!!!
7. All the glorious food and drinks that I could eat during my Indo trip - and I didn't have diarrhoea or any other health problems AT ALL during my trip.
8. Being able to meet about 17 of my ex-elementary school friends in a small gathering. It was FUN!!!
9. Getting enough sun and rain in Indo and when I got back to Finland, I got enough snow! :-D Couldn't have asked for more! ;-D
10. My priest asked me to come forward on the last Sunday I went to church in Bandung to pray for me and R2. He also prayed for our wish to have kids.
11. Hearing a story about my parents and knowing that God's angels had protected them from harm (I'll write about this later).
12. Playing with Ken and making him giggle so much! ;-D
13. Finding a strand of white hair - I've lived long enough to experience having at least one HUE HE HE HE HE...
14. Watching hubby's and MIL's expressions when they tried preserved seedless plum I bought in Hong Kong airport hi hi hi...SO FUNNY!!!
15. Being at home, being able to cook and experiment on cooking, being able to sleep on my own bed.
16. Christmas lights are up in our apartment - we don't have a Christmas tree, but we have some Christmas lights (not shown in the below pic, but just wanna show you how much snow we have now).
17. Finding some Christmas gifts for my loved ones today (and also I bought one for me HA HA HA...)
