Under The Weather

Been feeling under the weather for some time (esp. after my trip to my friend's wedding), but this week it got worse. Finally went to the doc and got signed off for 3 days. I'm tired of feeling weird on the head - it's like a light-headedness/light headache that comes and goes as it pleases. However, tomorrow I have work but fortunately I can rest after that 'coz the next time I have work again is on Monday. If this light-headedness continues, though, I'm gonna go to the doc again.

At least I've stopped feeling cold (no fever, though - I haven't had a fever for the past 4 years no matter how unwell I feel). For a few days I had been feeling cold most of the time even though indoor temperature is never cold. I had to put on a few sweaters and three pairs of socks even. Last night I kicked another blanket that had kept me warm the previous nights.

Woke up with a very sore throat and R2's been infected, as well. Oh well...hopefully the bugs will soon go away and that R2 won't feel worse 'coz soon it'll be his birthday (next week). It'll suck if he gets sick on his birthday, esp. after he managed to get a day off that day!

While riding my bike back from the clinic, though, I ran into my neighbour - the gentleman (an old guy) smiled, took off his hat, and greeted me while kicking his kicksled. That was SO sweet! :-)))

Speaking of birthday, I had either chickenpox or mumps when I turned 8 and I had to rest in bed for over a week (or was it close to two weeks?). Anyway, I was really bored and I felt crappy 'coz I had to be sick on my birthday. At that time my uncle (Dad's youngest brother) came for a visit and he brought a gift for me. I was SO surprised and touched that I cried my eyes out, you know? My uncle was totally confused he he he he...

Anyway, I'm gonna go rest some more. My brain still can't cope with anything too heavy, though I do have plenty of other topics to talk about, but they shall wait. Have a healthy, safe, and wonderful weekend, people!

Bougenville Valley

When R2 and I were in Bandung, my uncle told us that he'd take us to a nice place before we flew back to Finland. So he did take us to that place. It's called Bougenville Valley and it's located near Maribaya (around 1 hour away by car from my house). We went there with my uncle, his wife, my Mom, and my Mom's elder sister. My Dad was supposed to come with us, but he made a disappearing act.

These days each morning he'd walk to a nearby park and he'd play chess there. Usually he comes home already at around 9.30 or 10 am and he'd take a nap. My uncle and aunt came by at around 9 am already and we waited for Dad until 10.30 am, but still no sign of him. So after waiting until 11 am, we decided to leave him behind.

The air in that valley is cooler than in the city and we had to go through a small road to get there.

First pic: Me feeding the STARVING fish in one pond. There's a separate fishing and feeding pond there, but we didn't try fishing. I think they didn't feed the fish on purpose, as they were REALLY starving. Even when you walked nearby, they'd FOLLOW you around!!!


Second pic: We brought some food there so that we'd save money HI HI HI...We had rice, CHILI paste, gepuk (some kind of flattened meat), and cow's intestines HO HO HO HO...SO DELICIOUS!!!

Why were we laughing in the pic? Since one of us said, "R2 must be thinking that we're barbarians since we eat with our hands." LOL LOL LOL!!!


There are plenty of "saung" (a table where you can sit down with a canopy above you) like the one above in the area and near each "saung" there's a toilet. So the layout of the place is really good, even though it might be slightly difficult for old people to navigate since the road is going up and down and up and down...

The next pic was taken from nearby our "saung". There were plenty of trails around the area and we went up there to the place I marked as "X". We had to go up some paths and stairs...PHEW!!! Pretty tiring, esp. in the parts uncovered by trees as it could get pretty hot there he he he...



Next pic: One of the flowers in the area.


Next pics: I don't have to explain he he he...



As you can see, Bandung is surrounded by mountains. If you go somewhere higher, you can see it very clearly.


Next pic: The only complaint I have is that the water in the pond isn't clear HE HE HE...


Next pic: You can see that the pathway is leading downhill...it's easier to navigate, but when you have to go back to the car park, then you have to trudge uphill HE HE HE...



Left to right: Me - Mom's Elder Sister - Mom - Mom's Elder Brother's Wife



OK, I guess that's enough for now. I still have too many pics to show and I can't show them all he he he...

Home, Ex-Home, Future Home?

Chocolate Girl (Livingsword's wife) wants to know how I felt when coming back to Finland after our trip to Indonesia and how I feel about all the snow here.

Well, to be honest, I was HOPING that I'd get to see snow already when I landed in Rovaniemi airport. Why? Because I knew that it would be dark most of the time already and it's only going to get darker and darker (nowadays the sun rises around 8.30 am and sets around 3.15 pm so we have only around 6 hours and 40 minutes of sunshine per day, provided that the sun is shining and it's not cloudy), so having snow around would help A LOT. Thank GOD snow started to fall the day after we arrived in Finland and it kept on snowing and it didn't melt and turn to ice. I have no problem with snow, but I'm VERY afraid of icy snow!

It felt slightly weird coming back to Lapland from a tropical country, since I was used to three weeks of sunshine and heat, but it felt GOOD to be home, to have our own privacy, to be able to do anything we want without having to think of planning our schedule to meet these relatives and those friends, buying these and those, etc.

Home...mentally I've named Indonesia as my ex-home. I LOVE Indonesia, but right now my home is where R2 is. I've learnt to love Finland, but if for example God takes him away now when we have no kids and I don't know yet what kind of job I want to do here, maybe I'll go back to Indonesia since I've got family and friends there and I know what kind of job I want to do and can do there.

Life is unpredictable and I don't want to be too hard-headed in anything. There's no guarantee yet that Finland will be my home forever, but of course everything changes if there are kids already. I'd want to be there for them, at least until they're grown up and they're ready to be on their own.

Yep, these are just my ramblings about hypothetical situations. I sure hope that God gives us PLENTY more healthy years to come, especially since I haven't lived long enough with R2 in the same country or house.

glitter-graphics.com

All in all, I'm not missing Indonesia, except my family and friends and the glorious food. I started crying the day I was supposed to leave Bandung by bus to go to Cengkareng airport since my SIL called me from the hospital to say goodbye. She thanked me for everything and she said sorry for not being able to escort me. I started choking and I couldn't say the words I wanted to say to her for fear of crying so loudly on the phone. I didn't want to make her feel sad.

My brother managed to meet us at the mall where the bus station was to hug me goodbye. My uncle took us there since my parents have no car now, so in the car there were my uncle, my Mom, me, R2, and my Mom's elder sister. My uncle said to my Mom's elder sister that they'd better escort my Mom for fear that she'd cry. One close friend of mine also escorted me there.

When we started hugging one by one, I almost couldn't stop my tears from falling...while waiting for the bus, my SIL called again to say goodbye and I felt choked again. When I got on the bus and sat down, I started crying, though I tried to control myself so that I wouldn't sob loudly. R2 gazed into my eyes and he rubbed my arm and pat my hand. It was impossible for him to hold me due to the seats and the fact that we have backpacks right between our legs, so that was all that he could do.

After I could control myself a bit, I stood up from inside the bus to give them one last wave of goodbye...I feel SO LOVED...my whole trip in Indonesia was showered with LOVE...I'm GRATEFUL to God who've given me SO MANY loving, caring, attentive, and understanding people. I'm GRATEFUL for my relatives who care SO much for my Mom that they're always trying to make things easier for her. I LOVE THEM ALL!!!!

OK, let me stop here as I'm getting more and more emotional...

Home...let's just see where God takes me to...I'll do my best to make the most of everything He's entrusted to me this moment...

glitter-graphics.com

Trip to Indo: The Beginning

It's hard to know which story I should tell you first, so let me just choose randomly, okay? While flying to Indo, I was gripped with intense anxiety. I was afraid that I'd be shocked about the heat and the traffic jams and everything would overwhelm me. Due to the long plane journey, my anxiety dissipated bit by bit.

It felt strange to be back in Bandung, since I felt as though I had never left it. I still remembered clearly the public transit routes (provided that they didn't change) and everything seemed familiar. Maybe it's because I only left the city for 1,5 years before I visited it back. Of course there were some changes about the city, but the most surprising thing was the HEAT. Prior to moving to Finland in March 2007, it wasn't at all THAT hot. Now Bandung has become FAR hotter than 1,5 years ago.

My Mom and her elder brother were waiting for us in one mall in Bandung when we arrived there. We took a bus from Cengkareng airport in Jakarta that dropped all the passengers in one of the malls I used to frequent while I still lived in Bandung, so my Mom didn't have to go all the way to Jakarta to pick me up. These days there are FAR more choices to go to Bandung from the airport. There are plenty of bus or car rental services every half an hour or so.

Anyway, Mom and my uncle hugged me when they saw me. :-D We went to a pizza resto first to buy pizza for Arttu, since he was hungry. I ate already on the way to Bandung. We talked about many things while waiting for the food. After that, my uncle took us to my parents' house and left right away. I hugged my smiling Dad when we got back home and talked with my brother and my SIL.

We unpacked right away since we had to get the souvenirs and chocolate out he he he...My Dad was happy to get the 2-in-1 chess station. Turns out that these days he often goes out for a walk in the morning to a nearby place and then he would play chess against some people there. Then he'd go back home at around 10 am to sleep. He sleeps a lot during the day and at around 2 am he'd wake up for a few hours before he goes back to sleep.

Arttu and I took a shower right away after that. My Mom wanted us to take a family picture at a photo studio, so one afternoon we went there together. Here are the pics:




This third picture is a picture of our family when we went to a mall with my Uncle (my parents have sold their car, so my Uncle helped me go around a bit with his car - BLESS HIM!!!). There we met his daughter and her family he he he...My Uncle is the one standing on the right behind my Mom.

OK, it's enough for now, I guess. I'm gonna watch movies with hubby now he he...To be continued tomorrow he he...

Bureaucracy Update + Calling Home

This morning I called my parents right away. I had prepared some tissue already since I knew it would be heartbreaking. I was expecting Mom to cry right away, but turned out she didn't. She talked to me about the funeral and stuff, and then after a while she cried and it made me cry, too. We reminisced about my uncle and in between we talked about other stuff, too. I found out something VERY interesting about my brother's wife. For brevity purpose, let's call my brother's wife Shen.

I'd known since a while ago that her Dad could see ghosts, but that ability had been "reduced" after he was baptised in a Catholic church. However, he still has the ability to "know" what other people are like. On my wedding day, he said to my brother, "Oh, Arttu's a good foreign guy." I felt GLAD to hear it from him, because I knew he had "special powers" (if you'd like to call it that way).

Shen doesn't like watching horror movies and she didn't want to talk about such stuff. Well, after my uncle was brought to the mortuary before he was cremated, she felt as though he wanted to talk to her, but she was so scared, so she tried to block it away. Her Dad explained to my Mom that my uncle wanted to make a contact with his daughter and that in due time the message would be revealed. He said that my uncle contacted his daughter because "there was a picture". My Mom didn't understand what Shen's Dad meant by saying those words.

You see, since my uncle had been single his entire life, you can guess what happened, right? In the mortuary, some relatives had been talking about what they wanted to do with one of his houses already. A friend of his came by and told them that he had known my uncle's assets in detail. I don't know whether my uncle had written down a will or not, but prior to his death, he had been talking about transferring his deposit accounts to my brother's name, so that when he died, the government wouldn't take it away from him. My Mom told him that from her experience, it'd be better if my uncle wrote a will.

I also talked to Dad a bit. We were both in tears. My Dad said that he surrendered to God whatever His will was...he just wanted us to keep in contact regularly, which I surely will do. Then I talked to Mom again about many things. In between we also talked about my uncle again and we cried again. Yeah...it was one of those phone calls...we talked, cried, talked, cried, talked, cried he he he he...

I'm glad to hear that my parents didn't have any regrets, though, since they had had quality time with my uncle, especially Mom. I think one of the hardest things about death of a loved one is regrets that we have. :-)))

Oh, before I forgot...Mom told me that Shen's parents had been SO WONDERFUL to them. Shen's Dad escorted my brother to my uncle's house when they found out about his death. There were cops already there and Shen's Dad was VERY helpful since he had connections with the "higher powers" in the police department. If you know anything about Indonesian police, then you'll know that they're very yucky to deal with...I'm not even going to start explaining about it 'coz it just ruins my mood...but anyway, since Shen's Dad had such connections, so the police didn't complicate the matters. Shen's Dad was also the one who reminded my brother to take all my uncle's important papers since he knew that if the police got hold of them first, then it'd take an awful lot of time and money (bribing) to get them. I'm SO happy to learn that Shen's parents' relatives came to the mortuary. Bless them!!!

I also found out that Shen and my uncle got along VERY well, too. It seemed as though my uncle really liked him and he liked the fact that my brother chose her as his wife. ;-D That was one of the reasons why my uncle was SO happy to be involved in their wedding. I'm SO glad he had enjoyed himself immensely in the party. He had even volunteered on helping Shen with the train of her wedding gown. Can you imagine his enthusiasm? I can almost imagine him that day....mmm....

My brother wrote me an email today and he said that he had many WONDERFUL memories with my uncle, even though they had been close only for a short amount of time. When my brother ordered some bedroom furniture set and the whole thing was sent to my parents' house, my uncle came right away to see it. Ahhh...dear uncle, you were so sweet!!! :-)))) Enough about him or else my eyes will be bulging tomorrow he he he...

Anyway, after calling home, I went to the photo studio to have my passport photos taken. It cost me €15 to get 4 passport photos. Gee, so expensive!!! Well, at least I had the money HE HE HE HE HE HE...I was glad 'coz I could practice a bit Finnish in the photo studio. *grin*

Then I walked straight to the police station. I had to wait for a while in the waiting room as there was somebody else inside. When she came out, turned out that it was one of my Russian friends!!! We kept on bumping into each other downtown he he he he...She brought her baby girl with her...SO cute!!! ;-D

I walked into the inside room and spent a good half an hour there, maybe more. The woman in charge read all the forms first and then she entered some info online and printed out some things, then she went to another room twice to photocopy some of my papers. One funny thing was that I gave her the CD of our emails and chat files right before I left, just in case they needed it, and apparently she misunderstood. She said, "For me? Thank you." Oh dear...I ALMOST laughed!!! Gladly I could show my poker face and replied, "No, for residence permit purposes." She thanked me again and her face didn't register any embarrassment or whatsoever hi hi hi hi hi...I told this incident to Arttu just now and he laughed he he he he...

Right after that, I browsed for some shoes but decided not to buy them as they were FAR FAR FAR too expensive, even with a 40-70% discount. Goodness!!!

Oh yeah, when I came back home, guess what I found? My brother's wedding pics. YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!! He sent small files 'coz he's still using a modem (slow internet connection), but he's going to burn the whole wedding picture and video to DVDs for me and send them to me. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!! Anyway, here are the pics! I was surprised to see my Mom in the pics. She looked DIFFERENT. Gorgeously different! I had never seen her THAT radiant before!!! ;-D

First pic: the bride and groom and my parents.



Second pic: the bride and groom and both sets of parents.



Third pic: the bride and groom and my parents' big family. I've marked my uncle with an X.

In Memoriam Part 2

Yesterday it was snowing so heavily. Today it's snowing still. I've never seen so much snow before. Everything is white, white, white...and the snow truck has been busy clearing up snow from the streets and apartment buildings' parking lots. The prediction says that there's around 100-125 cm of snow in Lapland.

Anyway, I still can't contact my parents. Today my uncle's body was cremated. Maybe I'll try calling them again tomorrow. My Mom must be the one person who's going to miss my uncle so much. Let me tell you some bits about what I remember about my uncle. My uncle is my Dad's youngest brother. They are 12 years apart since my Dad was the second child in the family.

I remember vaguely when my uncle suffered from a bent neck. I was too young to remember why, but his head was turned sideways (I forgot whether it was to the left or right) for a LONG time (I think for several years). He went to some expert masseurs to get it fixed and had to endure a lot of pain during the massage therapies. Poor uncle! But eventually he was healed!!! :-D

My uncle was the only child in my Dad's family who graduated from the university. My Mom reminded my Dad to give some money to my uncle when he was doing his thesis. Before my parents got married, my Dad gave him money for his studies in exchange for my uncle's doing my Dad's laundry. Remember that back then they had no washing machine, so it wasn't a piece of cake!

Anyhow, my uncle worked in a bank in Bandung for a while, and after working there for years, he got promoted and he was transferred to the Jakarta office. He had worked in the bank for the rest of his life. I think he moved to a different bank once in Bandung, but he stayed on in the second one until his early retirement. About three years ago, he was offered to take an early retirement, so he did. The official retirement age would be 55 years old. Well, I guess it was a good decision for him.

He moved back to Bandung afterwards since he had 2 houses there. He lived in one of them ever since 2005 and he'd been close to Mom since then. Yeah, even though he's Dad's brother, but he was actually closer to my Mom. He'd call Mom and they'd speak for hours like old friends...or Mom would call him and they'd speak for hours. As you know, my Mom sells food in a traditional market in Bandung, and sometimes when there were leftovers, she'd call my uncle to get it. After all, my uncle lived alone and he loved my Mom's food. He'd eagerly come to our house to get the food and to talk. Sometimes he'd come to our house for no specific reason than to talk, as well.

I remember him coming over our house near my wedding day and he asked me with a curious smile on his face, "So, how did Arttu propose you?"

That was a question I didn't expect. I explained that he just asked me if I wanted to be his wife. He looked a bit confused then. Probably he had expected a more elaborate answer. After all, in Chinese tradition, a family proposal is something that's complicated.

He was among those people who represented my family when we proposed to my brother's girlfriend. He was so happy to be able to come. Right after the party was over, he still hung out in our house for a talk. We started talking about the wedding cost and everything. Funny thing was that when he heard the rough budget calculation for my brother's wedding, he gasped and said, "Oh dear...a wedding costs THAT much?!?!?! I never knew that! No wonder I never got married." And he laughed while saying those words.

I also remember Chinese New Year 2006. Since Mom knew that my uncle would be all alone in his house, we decided to bring some food and visit him (normally it's the younger people who visit the older people, not the other way around). We had a LONG talk on the dining room table. It was SO MUCH FUN!

And after I moved to Finland, my brother told me that my uncle was SO excited about my brother's wedding. After all, he'd be one of those people who helped out during the reception. He stayed a night in our house so that he didn't have to go all the way from his house to ours on my brother's wedding day. Since my parents had sold their car, my uncle had escorted my Dad on his motorcycle to give out some wedding invitations to my Dad's closest friends. He was also the one who had helped my Dad get through with the wedding schedule.

After he retired, sometimes he also gave my parents some money "to buy medicine, he said". Even before he retired, sometimes he also transferred money to my Mom's bank account. When he found out that the traditional market where my Mom sells food was about to be renovated, so my Mom had to buy a new booth (table), which was quite expensive, he transferred money to her account. Even though my Mom had told him that she had had enough money for that specific purpose, he still transferred some money to her. We truly appreciated this.

Well, I sure hope that he had enjoyed his retirement years and I'm glad that he had been close to my parents ever since he moved back to Bandung.

Farewell, Dear Uncle!!! Your memories live on in my heart and mind...

In Memoriam: Hadi Sebastian Winarta

I just got SHOCKING news from my brother. He said that my Dad's youngest brother was found dead at home. No wonder my mother couldn't contact him for days. She thought he was going on a vacation with his friends!!! Turned out he had been dead for around 4 days. He lived alone as he was never married. He was only 53 years old and he'd been pretty healthy.

I don't know the whole story yet, but I'm sure I'll hear about it later. I want to call my brother but I know he's probably busy preparing for the funeral and everything and my parents will be busy, too. So I'd better call later on after everything's done.

Well, he's resting in peace now. Goodbye, Uncle!!! You'll be missed!!! See you in heaven!

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Matthew 5:4

Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
Psalm 30:5

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
Revelation 21:4

The Proudest Moment in My Life

Livingsword tagged me to do this meme. When I first went to his site to find out about it, I gasped. In accordance to what he wrote in his post, I've been debating over writing this particular post as I don't want to sound like I'm bragging about myself. But anyway, let me just let you decide on what you get from this post of mine.

I had been writing a kind of journal ever since I was in High School. I continued writing that journal until I studied at the university. When I was at the uni, I wrote a long list of dreams/goals to achieve. One of those dreams was to send my parents abroad for a vacation. Mind you that when I wrote those dreams, I had NO idea when I would be able to achieve them. I just knew I wanted to do all those things, but I didn't have a specific target yet. However, I had this determination that I would NEVER let go of my dreams until the day I died. If some of them weren't fulfilled by then, so be it.

Anyway, I started working part-time when I was studying at the uni, so after graduation, I had enough money to go to Singapore with my Aussie emailpal. Then I started working full-time and I started saving money to go to Finland. After my trip to Finland in 2004, I set another goal for myself, which was sending my parents off to Singapore in March 2005. I had enjoyed my time IMMENSELY when I was in Singapore and I thought that my parents would love to visit that country, as well. Plus I thought it would be affordable for me to send them off to Singapore.

While saving money for this vacation, something miraculous happened. My uncle called and said that he wanted to transfer some money to me. So he did...and the amount of money was half the money I needed to save. Imagine my feeling! It was as if God had told me, "Let Me help you!" I felt SO blessed and encouraged!!! ;-D Honestly speaking, I was a bit worried whether or not I could save as much money as I wanted to before the time came...I knew I could save enough, but I still wanted to give them more spending money than they needed so that if they wanted to buy something there, they wouldn't have to be too "stingy", you know what I mean? I wanted them to have the freedom to taste this and that and to try this and that. And with the money given by my uncle, I had total freedom to give them more money than I thought I could provide them for the 5-day trip to Singapore.

I decided not to go with them as that would cost more. Plus I wanted them to have an adventure. In the end my Dad's cousin came with them (she is the same age as my Dad). She took a trip to Singapore and Malaysia once with a travel agent, but she didn't feel satisfied enough. My Dad's cousin can speak Mandarin, so I knew she'd be able to help out. My parents can speak a bit English, but they're not really fluent. But I knew that there would be lots of Indonesians in Singapore, so they would be fine he he he he...But for precaution, I bought them a pocket Indonesian-English-Indonesian dictionary and I had printed out some survival phrases and questions.

I helped them book some day tours online, as well. I also had fun shopping for clothes and shoes with Mom he he he he he...After they applied for passports and I exchanged the money to Singaporean dollars, everything was ready. I had a big suitcase already, so they only needed to pack. Mom left some frozen food for us to make sure we had something to eat on the first and second day he he he...

Five days went by and finally they came back home. I was SO HAPPY to listen to their tales of adventure. Mom gave me back the rest of the money. I knew they wouldn't use all of the money, but still it made me feel good that I could give more than they needed (with God's miraculous help!!!). Then of course Mom kept on telling her tales of adventures to her siblings and anyone she knew he he he he...

What made me feel SO proud was to make my parents feel proud to have me as a daughter (so that they felt that my existence in the world was worth it)...I'm GLAD I could send them off for a vacation when they were still very healthy. Because half a year or so after that, Mom began to feel major pain on her knee and back and there was one time when she couldn't even walk at all. After going to different doctors and undergoing some physiotherapy, finally we found out that Mom needed to take supplements as her joints didn't have enough "oil" anymore. So she's been taking glucosamine and chondroitin and MSM supplement and gladly she's now feeling 90% well. ;-D So looking back, you can imagine how RELIEVED I was since my Mom could walk about without pain when she was in Singapore. Phew!!! And I'm just happy to be able to give them some memorable memories that they wouldn't forget. ;-D

I'll always cherish the memories of listening to my Mom's funny stories from her vacation in Singapore. And Dad was also excited whenever he told me stories about it he he he...Sometimes I think God gives us some wishes for a reason, and it feels AWESOME whenever He gives us signs that He does want us to do those things and that He does help us in making them come true. ;-D

Here are a list of people who've done the tag:

1. Ehon's proudest moment is when he swept 5 out of 6 trophies at a State First Aid Competition.
2. Everyday Healy proudest moment is when she gave birth to Elizabeth.
3. Trinity's proudest moments are when she took a commitment to be married and also when she breastfed her babies.
4. Livingsword

Oooopppsss...I forgot to tag other people he he he...So here are those people I'd love to tag:

Blur Ting
Water Learner
Sindi
Kathy
Mother Hen
Fish Without Bicycle

News from Ex-Homeland

Last night I got an email from my mother and brother. Another uncle died in his sleep the other week. I'm not close to him, though. He was a distant relative of mine and he was such a playboy. However, there's a more pressing situation that needs to be solved.

An aunt from Jakarta called Mom and told her that she wanted to spend a night at their place a day before my brother's wedding day. Mom wasn't thinking straight, so she said yes, yes, yes. I guess she was confused on how to say no and the conversation happened too fast for her to absorb everything. After hanging up the phone, she realized how impossible that was.

You see, in my parents' house now there are 4 bedrooms: my parents' bedroom, my brother's bedroom, an empty bedroom, and the bride+groom's new bedroom. A day before the wedding day, my Mom's going to held a small family party. This is a regular practice in Indonesia. The parents' siblings and kids would gather the night before the wedding day. This is probably the equivalent of bachelor party and bachelorette party. Or is it stag and hen night? Oh...whatever he he he...Maybe there are just different terms for USA and UK/Europe, eh?

Additional note: Livingsword just gave me his two cents in the comment section. I didn't know that foreigners also have a family party prior to the wedding, so I can't equate this kind of family party with bachelor/bachelorette party.

Anyway, since my Dad's been pretty forgetful lately, the plan is that for my Dad's youngest brother to spend the night at the empty bedroom, so there's no more space for guests, since nobody can sleep in the bride+groom's new bedroom. My Dad's youngest brother (he's 12 years younger) is gonna help Dad follow the D-day schedule, 'coz my Mom and brother would go to the beauty salon early on (at around 5 am) and leave them both at home until it's time for them to pick them up at the salon.

So my Mom wants me to contact my aunt's daughter to inform her via email about this in the gentlest manner possible so that she won't be offended. My brother also wrote me about this. He said he was confused when Mom kept on saying yes, 'coz he had arranged the schedule of the D-day so that my parents could rest in between the hectic day. If my aunt stays in the house, too, it's guaranteed that they won't rest at all and they'll be talking non-stop, catching up on things. They've been best friends for a long time he he he...

Mom asked me not to inform my aunt's daughter right away after the call, so I'm gonna wait until sometime next week. :-)))) I've already had a plan on what to say and I think it's gonna work he he he...

They're going to held another party on November 18th. In Chinese tradition that Chinese Indo follow, there are two parties prior to the wedding: the proposal and another "proposal" HA HA HA HA HA HA...It's hard to explain it, but basically it's similar to the first one. Some people prefer to combine both, but my brother's going to do both. So they're gonna visit the bride's family and bring some fruits and jewelleries again.

I sure do hope everything'll work out smoothly for them and that my parents are well and nobody's sick on D-day.

In Memoriam

Yesterday I got an SMS from my brother. My Mom's elder brother was taken to the hospital (the same hospital my Dad was treated). He got into ICU due to his swollen heart. Just this morning I received another SMS from him. My uncle's passed away already. Mom naturally cried as my Mom had always been protected by her elder brother (Mom's the youngest). I wonder what they're thinking now...the elderly...when death will come to pick them up, I guess? I know death is coming to get all of us, but when you're old and you see your peers are taken away one by one, it must feel closer than ever. But I'm not going to talk about death now. This morning I'm reminded of my Mom's past which I'd love to write here to make sure that I don't forget it.

My grandma (Mom's mother) split up with grandpa as grandpa was such a jealous man and because they had kids in a row every year. Back then there was still no birth control and when birth control did appear, grandpa wouldn't allow grandma to have anything to do with it. Why? Because he thought grandma would use it to "sleep around". Right! An old-fashioned man indeed. Remember that this all happened a LONG time ago in ASIA, though!!!

Anyway, grandma had 7 kids. My mom's the youngest. One of the kids died when she was 7 years old (if I remember correctly) due to a certain disease that nowadays would be considered "easy to heal". Since grandma split up with grandpa, grandma started selling food for a living. Therefore, she had no time to take care of her six children. So her sisters took care of the kids. Thus the kids were separated for some time. They lived in different homes. If I remember correctly, Mom didn't know she had sisters until she reached a certain age. Since they had different upbringings, they grew up to be TOTALLY different people. (side note: I know that even with the same upbringing, kids can grow up to be TOTALLY different people, but I mean in this case they've got diverse history when they are still kids, so the different family histories have an impact on their future lives, too)

Mom stayed with a certain aunt. This aunt had a daughter almost the same age as Mom, so they both breastfed to the same woman. Luckily for Mom, this woman was so nice to her. Oh yeah, Mom was also the only child who had a birth certificate showing the right date of her birth. The rest of the kids? They had birth certificates, but the date shown on their certificates may be a few weeks or months later than their birth dates. So Mom's the only one who knows her exact birthday.

Mom used to tell me lots of things about her past. I LOVE those moments. One time she told me about her conversation with her grandma (meaning my great-grandma). People during that age had LOADS of kids, usually at least 6 of them. Some could have up to 13 kids (probably every year as there was no birth control yet). Anyway, my great-grandma told Mom that her vagina was as huge as a tunnel. Why? She had given birth to many kids, plus back then they didn't stitch her up. Back then they let nature run its course. I have a doctor friend and she says that the vagina can heal by itself, though it will take a LONG time to do it. Mom said that back then, right after childbirth, a woman was supposed to wrap herself up tightly with a sarong to help quicken the process of healing and then they were supposed to squat over a period of time each day above a small coal stove for the same purpose. YIKES!!!

Btw, in my Mom's age (when she was a teenager), before there were sanitary napkins, they had to use a kind of towel as sanitary napkins and it was SO hard to wash them clean. YIKES again!!!

I don't know more details about my Mom and her siblings, but it seemed that one time they got back together again and lived under the same roof with my grandma. My Mom once asked grandma how she could feed all six children. Grandma said, "I just put six plates of food on the table and let them eat." Mom asked, "But then the little ones must've been unable to eat properly. The dining room must've looked so messy after meal time." Grandma answered calmly, "Sure, then I just swept the mess off the floor." Such a "messy" life it seems.

Back in my Mother's age, parents would be anxious if their daughters weren't married by the age of 20. My Mom set the record by getting married only at 32 years old. Why? Because she saw how unhappy some of her sisters were, so she didn't want to rush into marriage. I can only imagine how tough my Mom must've been. I mean, I KNOW she's tough, but it must've been hard to live with such pressure. Even I felt the pressure when my friends started getting married and I wasn't even close to planning it.

In Indo, there are lots of weddings where family members gather and on those days, if you're deemed old enough to get married, they'll start asking, "Who's gonna get married next?" or "When's your turn?" So there's still so much pressure now, even though I think the age limit's risen up to 28-30 years old now.

Back to my Mom...since she wasn't planning on getting married soon, she had time to save enough money to buy my grandma a house. Mom felt sorry as grandma was staying with another daughter and they didn't get along well. My grandma had a TEMPER allright! She wasn't the easiest person to live with. Anyway, after saving money over the years, finally at the age of 25 years old (which was such an inspiration to me!!!) she could buy a land with an old house on top of it. Her brothers helped in fixing the house and Mom got a loan, too. Finally my grandma could live there. Then we moved there to stay with grandma when I was around 4 years old (in the house where my parents still live now).

Although the house was bought by Mom, the land certificate stated that grandma owned it. Thus, when grandma started to get sick, she decided to split the house for her six children. I can only imagine how my Mom must've felt back then. I mean, we were the only ones who didn't have a house yet and it was Mom who bought it for her, so it should've been Mom's, right? However, Mom wasn't daunted. Wisely she did what grandma asked her to and then she decided to buy the house from the other siblings. If I remember correctly, 2 siblings decided to give up their rights to Mom. So Mom only had to pay to the other 4 siblings by getting a loan from a bank. In the end she paid off the loan and the house is now hers again. She said to me once about all this, "Even though back then I was hurt by my mother's decision, but God knows who had been working hard to get the house and finally the house's mine again."

So many memories...I guess I should just stop now. I just want to relive the memories today, in memoriam of my uncle: may you rest in peace and may God give your family strength and comfort.