The other day I was getting ready to meet up with some friends and I hastily grabbed a pair of clean jeans and put them on as I had no time to waste. I didn't want to get up too early because I had slept late the night before, but I didn't want to be late, either. I rode my bike with some difficulty as it was such a windy day. The wind force caused the awning of a restaurant to be flailing up and down, threatening to fly away and hurt people. Thankfully the restaurant workers managed to take it down in time. I arrived earlier than my friends, so I went to the cafe and ordered a cake and a cup of tea. Halfway through my delicious chocolate roll, the first friend arrived. She ordered some food and then we started chit-chatting about various topics. About an hour later, another friend arrived, so the conversation became more dynamic. Until then, I didn't notice anything wrong. I ordered some sandwich and some more tea as I had skipped breakfast, but then my first friend had to go, so the two of us continued catching up on stuff. When my friend went to talk to the cafe worker about something, I finally noticed a soft bumpy area on the side of my right leg. Hmmm...what is this bump? I wondered. It feels soft and uneven, kinda like...fabric???? My right hand kept on running through the bump, trying to figure out what it was. A second later realization started sinking in. OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Could it be tissue paper? Did I accidentally drop some tissue paper onto the leg of my jeans instead of the toilet bowl at home? Ewwwww!!! So I rushed to the toilet and I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw what was inside my jean leg.
A pair of clean, folded-up cotton panties. I have no idea how the panties ended up there, but I was laughing hysterically as I was telling hubby about this incident HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHHH...
An innocent question can lead to a dose of surprise. The other day I asked a regular customer where his wife was, because I hadn't seen her for months.
His response was, "We're divorced now. Our divorce was final on the 23rd of this month. Her decision." I was struck dumb. I managed to reply, "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that."
He continued, "She lives in southern Finland now. She wanted me to move there, too, but I didn't want to. I have my place here and a small cabin, so she filed for a divorce. It's her decision." I could only respond, "Oh dear...it must be hard. By the way, her daughter lives there, right?" He replied, "Yes, her daughter has a son. So now she takes care of the grandson." He packed the few items he had bought and added, "I'm still grieving about it." I said, "Of course you are, of course.......But life goes on..." He agreed, "Yes, life goes on." I didn't have time to process the information. The next customer was already waiting, but I felt like his words were hanging there in the space between us. It's funny how news like this can stagger you, even though you don't really know them that well. I first met her a few years ago. From the get go, she told me her abbreviated life story even without being asked. She had just retired at that time. If I could describe her with one word, I'd choose the word sunshine. She was always full of laughter and bear hugs. Seeing her face at work was always a pleasure. Sometime last year she came by with a huge smile on her face. She said that her grandson was due soon and she would go there once the baby was born. A few months later, she showed me his photo on her mobile phone and told me her grandson's name. The phrase "her pride and joy" sprung to my mind. I have no doubt that she'll be a doting and fun grandmother. Life goes on...people come and go, some are born, some pass away and sometimes you don't even have time to say goodbye...but life goes on for those left behind...
The other day I was talking to my closest friends via email about different topics and one topic brought up this memory somewhere in the dark corner of my brain. Being a melancholic/phlegmatic, I never craved for the spotlight. I don't like being in a spotlight. I prefer working in the background, never to be seen or heard (that doesn't mean I don't need recognition or acknowledgment for my achievements, though). That's also one reason why I doubted myself when I first started working at the store 'coz I wondered if I'd enjoy being face-to-face with customers.
When I was very young, I was so sensitive inwards and if I made the smallest mistakes ever, I would scold myself over and over and over. If the mistake was big (at least in my eyes), it could take even days before I finally let go (yep, I'm my own worst critic). Along the road, as my self-confidence grew, I learnt to be more lenient towards myself and lower my expectations, but I only started learning to laugh at my own mistakes AFTER I moved to Finland (yep, it took me 28 years!). Having R2 as a hubby and MIL helped A LOT in learning to be more lenient towards myself. They never criticize me no matter how silly my mistakes are.
Anyhow, back to the dark corner in my brain. I think when I was very young, I once performed in front of a group of people (I think it had to do with dancing) and they laughed at me. I don't remember the incident, but ever since then I've been so worried about performing in front of people and I've always admired people who can perform in front of people without looking so anxious. And ever since then I've always had this idea that I'm such a bad dancer and that my body can't correspond to music and rhythm very well.
Back in elementary school, I hated it when we had to sing in front of the classroom. If I had to sing with some other students, it felt MUCH better, but if I had to sing alone? Ugh ugh...and UGH. I remember clearly the first time at the uni (during writing lesson) when my lecturer gave us a topic to write and then she gave us a few minutes to think about what to write and all of a sudden she asked me to come forward and tell the class what I was going to write (without reading what I had jotted down on paper). I remember that I was very calm at that time, which was such a HUGE surprise to me. I think of that moment as a point of progress in my life.
One of my closest friends, who's a natural when it comes to performing in front of people (she's even led a meeting in front of hundreds of people), was amazed when she realizes that other people may have problems in this area, 'coz she's never had the same problem her entire life.
It's interesting to me to be able to talk about this stuff with my friends 'coz then we get to know each other better - and hopefully then we get to understand other people better that way.
1. Hubby warming up my side of the bed before I got to bed (usually he goes up first before me), so even though it's cold outside (-20 or even colder during the night), my side of the bed is blissfully WARM the first time I lay my body there. MMMMMHHHHH...And he has to endure the cold side of the bed once I go to my side of the bed, so THANKS SO MUCH for that, Bunny! HIGHLY appreciate your thoughtfulness!!!
2. Getting a surprise early gift bag for my birthday he he he he...You know who you are. THANKS SO SO SO MUCH!!!
3. Getting another package from a friend who has too much extra Indo stuff (spices, snacks). REALLY thankful for this!!! :-D
4. Listening to this beautiful duet...
5. Sleeping for 11 hours HA HA HA HA HA...
6. A customer telling me that I fit this kind of job I'm doing and that she likes me. THANKS for the encouragement - 'coz there are times I wonder if I really fit for this kind of job or not.
7. Someone told me about the mistake I'd made at work and I'm THANKFUL for that. Can't undo my mistakes, but I can always learn to do better. :-D
8. Hot tea with honey on cold days. Mmmmhhhh...
9. Pink sky always cheers me up. :-D
10. Frozen trees. For some reason when it's SO cold, they seem to be frozen solid - they have a different consistency of coldness than when it's been snowing all day, for example. It's hard to describe, but there's this kind of lovely undisturbed hush that permeates the air...mmmm...
Haven't been feeling too well. Not too bad, either...but just a little bit weird. Autumn is coming for sure and flu bugs are everywhere. I asked hubby to coin my back just now and it feels GREAT!!!
Update on my parents' health: Mom seems to be OK now, though she has to be careful with what she eats. Dad went to the lab again for a second check-up and this time my bro took him to an internist instead of a GP. The lab results were all fine (no more protein leaking in the urine, glucose level is OK, blood pressure is OK), BUT the internist said that his left lung's capacity has down gone down to 31% only and his right lung is swollen, so he's on medication and he's told NOT to get too tired.
The good thing is that he's NOT stressed about it. He even said to my family, "Look, all the other results are good, though." However, my bro and wife are worried that my Mom might worry too much about Dad and that might cause her blood pressure to peak again...so I still need your prayers for my parents, THANK YOU!!!
Another piece of bad news is that my camera's flash isn't functioning. When we go to Rovaniemi sometime soon, we're going to try to find a place where I can get it fixed. I browsed online and someone said that we only need to replace something, but it's better if the pros do it. So we'll see about that!
Now on some good news...my poster has arrived and I think next time I'll know better, 'coz a little bit of two of the pics are cut off, but other than that I'm pretty pleased about it. However, I think next time I should use Photoshop or something like that to maximize the color contrast - 'coz it's not printed as a photo, so it seems to me that the better the color contrast is, the better the end result would be. We're going to take it soon to my in-laws' place, so we'll see how my MIL likes it. ;-D
Today I got a VERY nice surprise. You see, the other day I was thinking of buying a pot of flowers from my workplace, but I restrained myself from doing so due to my shopping budget. Today when I worked at the cashier, a customer said, "I've got a surprise for you." I was scanning the pot of flowers (the type that I had wanted to buy for myself: Celosia Caracas) and then he said that it was for me, "for my good service" - that's what he said.
I was SO touched (still am)!!! It was really thoughtful of him to do that and said that ON purpose. I TRULY appreciate it. He really makes me feel encouraged to know that at least in his eyes, my service is good enough.
This morning the postman rang our doorbell while I was washing the dishes. I wasn't expecting that since the postman had come already earlier. At first I thought it was hubby teasing me or he must've been bringing something big on his arms so that he couldn't open the door himself. Turned out it was a special package. Again at first I thought it was something that hubby ordered, but then after I took it inside, I realized it was for ME!!! Yes, for ME ME ME ME ME HE HE HE HE HE HE HE...
I was surprised since it was a HUGE box!!! And what did I find inside? So many different Asian spices, sauces, instant mixes, and a pair of skiing pants!!! The package was from one of my beloved friends who's now living in Holland. She packed everything SO well that I truly appreciated the time and effort he he he he...
I'm SO SO SO excited since I can't find any of the Asian spices, sauces, and instant mixes here in Finland. Plus I haven't got skiing pants yet HO HO HO HO HO HO...What amazed me TOTALLY was that the skiing pants fit PERFECTLY!!! *gasp* A few years ago she sent me winter gloves that also fit me PERFECTLY. Amazing!!!
She said the pants were for my b-day gift whereas the rest of the stuff was winter survival package. THANK YOU SO MUCH, Dear Friiieeennnddd!!! God bless you more and moreeeee...MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH!!!!
And yeahhhhh dear reader...you're right, of course. The pants are children's size since I'm only 145 cm (SUPER) TALL HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...LOL LOL!!!
Anyway, here are the pics. I hope Blogger will upload the pics this time!!!! YEEESSSS!!!! My fellow Indonesians will recognize all those Asian foodstuff. Yummy!!!
Have no time today to do anything much. My darling crazy (that's a compliment as we're both crazy) husband decided to throw a surprise at me late last night. I knew we were going to enjoy barbecue at my in-laws today, but I thought it'd be done later, right after he went home from work. When we almost fell asleep (literally), he turned and said to me with an evil grin, "I should tell you something. I don't have to work tomorrow." I was STUNNED! I asked him if it meant that we were going to my in-laws in the morning. He said yes. Oh dear goodness! He said his initial intention was to surprise me in the morning, by lying down beside me when I woke up (usually he wakes up earlier than me to go to work while sleepyhead me still enjoys the dreamland). Then I stared at him in disbelief and said, "I don't know whether to poke your eyes or hug you." He laughed. Naturally I did the latter, not the former. LOL!!!
So, Dwight and Max, I'll get back to you on my promises after I get back home, OK?
And Max's tagged me back for the award, even though I'm not sure it's legal????? I was under the impression that people who had been tagged couldn't be tagged back, but inspired by Vic's post entitled Learning to Accept Praise (and Other Good Things in Life), I THANK Max for tagging me back with his kind words:
"I like the sweet and tender fashion in which she posts events of her life, her opinion about things, her deepest feelings! There's something sincere about her that makes us belive that the world is not so fake after all! You've been tagged before, however you win another award for the category "Best Leading Kindness"!"
I TRULY appreciate your words, Max. Another one of the best compliments I've ever received. :-))))
I think since yesterday it's been a perfect day for me. I want to salute the person who initiated the award, simply because it's basically sharing joys with others and thus enabling me to double my joys. MANY thanks to that person (will someone tell me who that person is and I'll link him/her here? I have no time today to search) and also again to Michelle for having tagged me (enabling me to share the award). My cup absolutely runneth over now. :-))))
Anyway, today's a SUNNY day. YAAAAYYYYYY!!! What more can a girl expect? Hmmm...Can I cheat now and just pick one blog to give an award to, now that I've been tagged back? Somebody tell me, pretty, please? He he he he...LOL!!! 'Coz I want to give the award to Michelle (Crow's Feet) as she's been inspirational, informative, and soul-beautiful in her posts (borrowing her own term "soul-beautiful" in her post In The Image of God).
OK, time to pack as we're gonna spend a night at my in-laws. Here I come, countryside, birds, flowers, sky, sunshine, lake, foooooddddd!!! Enjoy your weekend, everybody!!!
P.S. Almost forgot...just wanna share this silly fun clip to make you smile as it made me giggle yesterday. Go here: Winners.
P.P.S. OK, now I've decided to share just one Thinking Blogger Award to Crow's Feet. She doesn't need to find 5 other blogs as she's already done it in Kombai. I just want her to know that I appreciate her and she was the one who made me feel mushy-mushy first he he he...
CONGRATULATIONS on having made a difference in my life, Michelle!!! Here's your Award:
