Monday, March 28, 2011

Bad Influence?

In my lifetime, I know at least two mothers who have ever deemed me as a bad influence for their daughters. Of course they didn't tell me directly, but I found out anyway. The first time I found out from another friend. This particular mother was angry at her daughter for keeping secrets from her, but she blamed me instead. She told a mutual friend of ours that my parents must've brought me up badly 'coz I became such a bad influence to her daughter.

I was shocked, but I just laughed it off. Although I have influenced her daughter in some ways, but I know why she was keeping secrets from her mother. Is it 100% my fault then that she did it 'coz she wanted to have her privacy intact? 'Coz she didn't want her mother to interfere or yap at her? The mother probably thought that the daughter told me everything, but it wasn't true. I was also rather disappointed at that time that she kept some things from me, but it was her right. If she wasn't ready to tell me, then I couldn't do anything about it.

At that time she was working in another city and she came back to her hometown and spent some days at her friend's house without telling her mother (and she didn't tell me, either). Unfortunately a distant relative met her in a public place and told her mother and the mother even called me to ask if I knew about it (she was raging with fury when she called me). The mother probably thought that I had conspired with my friend to keep it a secret, though I only found out about it after she had called me.

I guess it was "logical" why her mother was upset (though the reason why she had said that my parents must've brought me up badly was due to a different reason), but in a way I couldn't help thinking that if the mother was easier to talk to and to be open to, my friend probably wouldn't have done what she had done.

The second time it happened, another friend of mine was in a long-distance relationship with a guy and the mother wanted to break it off. She stated a reason why. She said, "How can you know for sure that he's not fooling around with some other girl in his city? Is there any guarantee that the relationship will work out? Do you even know any long-distance relationship that works out?" And my friend told me that my long-distance relationship with R2 did work out. And because of that, the mother thought I was a bad influence, especially 'coz she had been telling me everything about their long-distance relationship and I had been supporting it.

She did tell me about the relationship 'coz she wanted to know how R2 and I managed to work it out. But the mother disapproved of it and finally forced her to break it off. She was even forced to burn out all the pictures of them together. And during that time when she had the relationship, whenever I called, the mother or the other family members would be listening close by for fear that I'd be giving her more bad influence. At that time I decided not to call her anymore so that she wouldn't be more oppressed.

(Side note: Don't worry about this second friend. She did have a hard time breaking up with that guy, but she's OK now. She's over it.)

Has anyone of you ever been accused of being a bad influence behind your back? Just curious he he...


  1. You? A bad influence? HARDLY Amel! Oh that is the funniest thing I have heard... What terribly overbearing Mothers those friends have!

    Yeah, I have been called a bad influence many times.. and not behind my back! My best friend growing up..the one that I told you about.. had parents who were similarly overbearing. My friend spent much time with my family and I... and I was a bad influence for putting some normality in her brain!

    I am sorry to say but if I had a parent like that.. it would make me run the other way. How sad.

  2. I find it hard to believe that anyone could find you to be a bad influence Amel. I can't recall anyone saying that about me, but I am sure it's happened.

  3. @Mrs. Rainbow: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...Can't help laughing when reading your comment hi hi...

    Huh? You've been called a bad influence NOT behind your back? Geez...that's harsh. Yeah, I remember your best friend growing up. Tsk tsk tsk...

    @Fish: He he he...can't please everybody, can we? *shrug*

  4. Jalan hidup setiap orang lain2 y, tdk bisa disamakan.

    I have no idea about being bad influence to someone else at this moment.

  5. I agree with the above comments, how could anyone think you are a bad influence?
    I'm afraid I have been called a bad influence a few times, when it comes to cracking open a bottle of wine and talking until the small hours! I'd like to think it was a fun bad influence!

  6. He he he he...thanks, people, for having so much trust in me. People are people and well, even some people can think I'm a bad influence. So be it he he he...