What Language Do You Use In Your Head?

I haven't been blogging in a long time, have I? It's always harder to get back on track once you haven't been in the flow of things for a long period of time. It's almost like going back to your exercise regime or starting a new one after a long break. My tennis elbow problem is still under control, though depending on the days and what activities I've done and the kind of exercise I do, there can be more symptoms (pain, tightness, etc.). I know for sure that I still can't handle the normal amount of work, so I've talked to my bosses about it. It's a long road to recovery, but I'm positive about healing. 

A friend of mine had the same problem and it took her two full years to recover, but even then she warned me that it could happen all over again if I were not careful (maintaining the right posture at work, doing enough exercise at home). So I've been doing more exercise and I've walked more (instead of riding my bike) these days. The arms don't like certain kinds of exercise movements, but I'm only able to find out about it afterwards, so it's a bit of a trial and error in terms of trying out different kinds of exercise programs.

A FB friend posted this video in her newsfeed and I tried it right away. My left arm was giving me a full-blown headache when I was doing this (didn't happen with the right arm) and I actually felt a bit nausea as well (just like what she described in the video), but I felt so much lighter afterwards. She's also uploaded lots of other videos (a few others I've also tried).


I've also been massaging my back and shoulders with the massage stick I got as my birthday present last year (as per my request). It's been helping me a bit, too. I've been using at least two rolls of kinesio tape, since for some reason my skin doesn't like it when I use it in the sauna, even though some people can keep them on in the sauna with no problem whatsoever. 

Anyway, a few weeks ago someone asked me what language I used in my head to think. I answered, "English, Finnish, and Indonesian." I use Indonesian the least these days compared to English and Finnish, so my Indonesian is getting rusty. I noticed this during the Skype call I made to my mom about a week ago. I struggled in finding some words and only the English and Finnish words came out (along with the image of the words I wanted to convey to her) LOL!!! 

The weather has been pretty warm these days (nearing or a little above 0'C), though there's still oodles of snow everywhere. Here's a photo I took a while back. I received some long-stemmed roses, but my vases were all too short, so I ended up having to use a Lion King pitcher for them ha ha ha ha ha...

Invasion of the Languages

The longer I stay in Finland, the more mixed-up my English becomes. Let me give you some example while they're still fresh in my mind. I realize that these days my past tense use in English has sometimes been mixed up with Finnish.

Here's a set of Finnish, Indonesian, and English sentences as comparison:

- Sinä nukuit hyvin. (You slept well).
- Nukuitko sinä hyvin? (literal translation: Slept you well?)

- Kamu tidur nyenyak. (You slept well.)
- Kamu tidur nyenyak? (You slept well?)

- You slept well.
- Did you sleep well?

Notice that in the Finnish language, in the question form, the verb doesn't change at all, though there's the additional "-ko" ending to denote that it's a question instead of a statement. So sometimes when talking to my husband, I'd blurt out, "Did you slept well?" instead of "Did you sleep well?" as the wires of my brain criss-cross between English and Finnish. And in Indonesian language nothing actually changes, only the intonation changes (going up at the end of the question).

Another example was my use of the word "psychologist". In Finnish, it's "psykologi" and in Indonesian language it's "psikolog". At that time I was writing in English and I wanted to write "psychologist", but instead I wrote "psykolog" (a weird combo of the Finnish and Indo version of the word) HA HA HA HA HA HA...

And don't mention the mix-ups I have with "him", "her", "his", "hers" because both in Finnish and Indonesian there's only one word for both genders. This has been happening since a long time ago. Ah, brain! :-D What an adventure you've had HA HA HA HA HA HA...

Language Mess

Let me try to tell you how messy my brain gets in incorporating the languages in my head. I have four languages in my head: Indonesian (the national language in Indonesia), Sundanese (the regional language in Bandung, my hometown), English, and Finnish. Indonesian and Sundanese are my mother tongues, whereas English and Finnish are two foreign languages.

I started studying English at the age of 9 or 10. Went to an English course. Back then we only started learning English in Junior High School (13 years old). Continued studying English at uni (4 years) and then I started tutoring kids and translating books from English to Indonesian until the age of 28.

Moved to Finland in 2007, started studying Finnish on my own for about 9 months, then went on a full-time Finnish course for 4 months and self-study continues until now.


I use Indonesian and Sundanese mainly with my family through Skype calls and in Facebook with my Indo friends. I rarely use long sentences purely in Sundanese, so most of the time Sundanese words are used in Indonesian sentences to describe things that can't be described better by using Indonesian terms/words. I use English mainly in my blogs and FB and my online activities. I use English verbally with hubby, because when I used Finnish with him, my English pronunciation becomes so weird (Finnish has a similar pronunciation with Indonesian language). So these days I use Finnish with hubby's family and at work and in FB with coworkers/Finnish people in my FB. 

My skill levels on those languages have declined in some ways. True, I speak more Finnish these days due to my work, but I'm less concerned with the grammar because most people use the informal version of the language anyway, so bye bye grammar to a certain degree!

Hubby says that I have talked in my dreams using English, Finnish, and Indonesian (he guessed it was Indonesian when he couldn't decipher what I was babbling about in my sleep). 


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Now let me give you examples of the mess:

1. Every now and then I blurt out an Indonesian word either at work or at home. I have NO idea why! 

2. Sometimes I think in English, Indonesian, and Finnish respectively on separate occasions. For example, while writing this post, I think merely in English.

3. Sometimes when I start to think in English (for example), I forget one word and have a hard time finding it on my own. Instead, all I have in my brain is the Finnish or Indonesian word or both Finnish and Indonesian word instead.

4. Sometimes when I speak to hubby in English, I have a hard time finding one word, so to make it easier, I use the Finnish word instead. Not good, I know. 

5. Sometimes I try to write an email in Indonesian and then get stuck with one word. I only have the English and Finnish version of the word in my head and the image of the word. Nice! Not! 


6. Because both Finnish and Indonesian only have one word for "he/she", my brain has reverted back to its Indonesian root. These days when I talk to hubby in English, I mix up the use of "he/she", "him/her", "his/hers" because in both Finnish and Indonesian, it doesn't matter either way.

7. Sometimes at work when I've just finished serving a tourist in English, my brain forgets to switch back ASAP to Finnish. So, I end up using English to serve the Finnish customer behind the tourist, which usually makes us both laugh. :-D

8. There are times when I start stringing up a sentence in my head in English, but all of a sudden in the middle of the sentence a Finnish word appears. 

9. I've started getting more and more confused about English grammar, because my brain sometimes automatically tries to use the Finnish structure of the sentence instead of the English one. 

10. I start to get more confused with the new slang words that my fellow Indonesians use. I have no idea what they mean and it's hard to catch up with the new development when I'm not using it daily (well, not verbally anyway). I wonder how much further away I feel the mental distance between me and my mother tongue the longer I stay here. 


That said, don't wonder why my English has become kinda quirky these days compared to the old days when I didn't know/use Finnish too much. Has anyone else experienced similar problems? 

Note: Apparently they have a term for this kind of phenomena. It's called Language Attrition. It can happen to your mother tongue as well as any other foreign language that you've studied. 

3BT: Random Days

1. Kissing hubby by sucking both his upper and lower lips (and in the process getting tickled by his grown moustache) LOL!!!

2. To sit on the carpet in front of hubby's couch while he was sitting there, then looking up and being able to see his nostrils very clearly from that angle. What a view! :-D

3. Booking a spring trip to Rome. WOOHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOO!!! Can't wait!!!

4. Hearing a small boy (perhaps around 5 years old) babble about money to his mother, which made me and a couple of elderly smile because he just wouldn't shut up.



5. A customer saying, "I'll arrange everything so that the barcodes of each item I bought was facing you so that you don't have to turn them. I don't want you to suffer from de Quervain syndrome." AWWWWWWWW...it was the VERY first time someone had EVER done that!!! So heart-warming! :-D

6. The smell of Indonesian potato croquettes being baked in the oven and then after they were done, the taste was just SO heavenly.

7. Me: (jokingly) STOP drinking coffee!
Hubby: (without missing a beat) STOP eating chili sauce!
Me: UGH! That was a sucker punch!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHHH...

7. Watching this video:

Busy Like A Bee

The lack of real posts this week is because of the fact that I've been so busy at work. Two coworkers got sick this week and another one has started her summer holiday, so this week I have to work for 6 days straight (the first 3 days were full-time). Today would be my 5th day and after tomorrow, I can relax for a bit 'coz next week shouldn't be that crazy. Phew! 

Just wanna share a video clip again here ha ha...I'm gonna write more later on when I have time. Introducing some Indonesian artists singing "Heart You": Glenn Fredly, Sandhy Sondoro, and Tompi...enjoy it! Make sure you watch until the end of the song!

FYI: I can't find any album videos 'coz I read somewhere that this trio has decided that they would mostly only do live shows 'coz they're fed up with people pirating albums and singers that lip sync in live shows.

 
 Actually here's another fun song to listen to by this trio (Trio Lestari), Malam Biru (Blue Night):

Bla Bla Post

Been busy with work and haven't had time to do anything much. Yesterday managed to write short paragraphs, but didn't have time to complete a blog post, so now I'm just going to combine them all in this bla bla post ha ha ha...

1. In Indonesian language there are two words for the English word "love". One is called "cinta", which means eros. The other one is called "kasih", which mean universal love - it can be love towards strangers, God's love towards us, a mother's love, any other kind of love that is not eros.

And funnily enough, the Indonesian version of "thank you", which is "terima kasih", is comprised of the word "terima" = accept and "kasih" = universal love.

And whenever somebody says thank you to you in Indonesian, you should answer "kembali", which is the short version of "terima kasih kembali" - it can be loosely translated as "I return your acceptance of universal love".

2. Just got news that MIL and FIL have found an empty rental apartment near downtown (far away from the house they live in), so it SEEMS that they're going to take it. Yesterday BIL took them there to see the place. If everything works out well and the owner decides to let them have it, next month will be a busy month 'coz we're going to help them to move there.

I actually feel a bit sad that this winter they're not going to live in the house anymore. The house they've lived in for so many years...the house with the strawberry field and the HUGE field and the sauna near a lake...sigh...but life goes on. I just hope my FIL who has Alzheimer's can adapt well to the new place and won't be too disoriented when it's time for them to move.

On the bright side, though, once they move, it's going to be easier for them during winter 'coz they don't have to burn any firewood anymore nor do any yard work. Plus when MIL needs to go downtown, it takes only a few minutes by car. And it's going to be easier for me to visit them by bike or on foot.

3. I'm TRULY thankful for God's creations 'coz then I can cook delicious food by using so many different ingredients...spices, veggies, meat. Yeah, yeah, I'm a foodie, what can I say? ;-D

4. My friend who has PCOS had just given birth to a healthy baby girl and I couldn't feel anything but PURE JOY for her (she's been trying for at least 3 years before she got pregnant with this one - the first pregnancy ended up in an early miscarriage). It's AMAZINGLY nice to feel only pure joy towards someone else's WONDERFUL news (as opposed to feeling a mixture of joy plus envy and/or bitterness and/or questioning God). THANK YOU, God, for helping me get through my infertility issues!!! :-D

5. I have some more fun/touching moments with the customers at work, but I'm going to share them in another post later on. Tomorrow I have an 8-hour-shift, but then I'll have some free days afterwards, so I'll have time to write more later. Now I need to catch up on you people and then I have to watch my taped series from last night, which I didn't get to watch 'coz I was chatting with a close friend ha ha...Busy, busy, busy!!!

Here are pics of some roses (maybe different types) in my MIL's garden...Starting from now I should take as many pics of their place and surroundings as possible before my in-laws move out from there...

He and She: Language Mix-Ups

Because in Indo language there're no separate words for "he" and "she", just like in Finnish, after living here for about 3 years, I've started mixing up the use of "he" and "she" in the English language. I guess it's normal in a way 'coz in this case Finnish has the same usage of "he/she" like Indonesian language.

Another problem I've encountered is that it seems there are two separate parts (or compartments?) of my brain - the Finnish part and the English part. For example: whenever I work in a Finnish environment, I always try to use my Finnish brain. Meaning I need to focus on understanding Finnish and then using Finnish as a reply - i.e. using my Finnish brain. So, when sometimes foreign tourists come, I have trouble switching to my English brain. One time when I was trying to tell the tourist how much he/she had to pay, I mixed up the words, so I used both Finnish AND English (I said the first number in English and then the second one in Finnish). ARRRGGGH!!! How annoying is that?

I think it occurs more often now 'coz in my daily life I use my Finnish brain more often than my English brain. Even at home with R2 I try to use both English and Finnish - though sometimes when I panic about losing my English ability, I use more English than Finnish, but then the dilemma is that if I use more English than Finnish, then I feel that I'm not using fully the resources that I have on hand (I mean his being a native Finnish speaker). ARRRRRRRGGGHHH!!!


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Side note: I remember one time when I was doing the training at the hotel, the boss came over and said something in English and 'coz I was using my Finnish brain and I was trying to think of what kind of Finnish words she was saying, it took me at least 5 seconds before I finally realized that she was using English to talk to me!!! And right away she said sorry and she switched to using Finnish again.

So, the next time I had to use English again, I had to literally take a few seconds to switch to my English brain before I said the numbers correctly in English. Then they all came out in English. Phew!!!

And I've started thinking more in Indonesian than in English these days - which is a shame actually 'coz it took time to really use English actively in my daily life. But anyway, what happens happens...another thing I realize is that when I'm stressed out and I need to count quickly and act quickly (like whenever I am a cashier), I find myself counting in Indonesian. Why is this weird? Because before I started learning Finnish, for years I had forced myself to count in English (even when counting in my head), but now I've resorted more to Indonesian than English.

Maybe one reason is 'coz Finnish has more similarities to Indonesian than English (and Facebook has helped me use Indonesian more often than before). After all, Finnish and Indonesian pronunciation are similar. Secondly, the usage of "hän" (in Finnish) or "dia" (in Indonesian language) as opposed to "he" and "she". Thirdly, Indonesian and Finnish use the same kind of statement to say "half past (what time)". So, instead of saying for example "half past six", we'd say "half (to) seven" both in Finnish and Indonesian.

What language is in my head when I'm writing my blog posts? English, of course. Well, just wanna let you know the kind of mix up going in my head these days when it comes to languages. If somebody has ever experienced something like this, please do let me know so that I know I'm not crazy ha ha ha...

A Bowl of Mixed Languages

I think since last year (or perhaps even longer than that) I feel that my English ability has getting weaker and weaker. I remember when I first moved here and I could express myself in spoken English much more eloquently and quickly than now. These days there are times when these problems occur:

1. I want to say something in English, but my brain only comes up with the object or the meaning of the word in my brain and I struggle to find the English term.

2. More often than not, my brain can only remember the Indonesian term of the word, though sometimes my brain can only produce the image of the object without even remembering the Indonesian term.

3. Sometimes my brain can only remember the Finnish word, though other times it remembers both the Indonesian and Finnish word without remembering the English word.

Of course in most cases in the end I can still come up with the English word, but it takes (a much longer) time for my brain to search for that word - whereas when I just moved here, that word would mostly be the first word that popped up in my head 'coz I had been mostly thinking in English.

Due to the fact that Finnish pronunciation is more similar to Indonesian pronunciation, I also had some bits of trouble after doing the training in the library last year 'coz I realized that my tongue had reverted to "Indo/Finnish" - e.g. when I tried saying some specific English words, the pronunciation sounded more like "Indo/Finnish". I was SHOCKED!!!

To those of you who know and use at least two foreign languages in daily life, how do you make sure that you still nurture the ability to use those languages equally without letting the other one suffer? Of course it'd help if I get to meet different people regularly equally - meaning where I get to interact with different people purely in Finnish and purely in English regularly, but 'coz that's not the case, I fear that my English ability has suffered greatly (esp. compared to the time when I was at the uni, when I was still actively learning about grammar and stuff).

That's my dilemma now. I don't want to completely use Finnish with R2 'coz then I get less chance to practise my English, but I DO need to use my Finnish with him anyway. I've tried forcing myself to think in Finnish every now and then (even if it means I only think of some short phrases or 1-2 short sentences), but that means that those times I usually spend thinking in English have now been converted to Finnish. It would help if I start thinking in Finnish AND also translating those thoughts in English, but that takes time and energy...or maybe I should try translating all my English posts to Finnish? *gasp* That'd definitely be so tiring he he...

Anyway, I'm just trying to find the best way to balance myself inside this bowl of mixed languages that sometimes frustrates me. I have no problem keeping my Indonesian ability intact 'coz it's my mother tongue. It's my English ability that I'm worried about. I want to keep nurturing my English AND Finnish ability - and if possible I want to get better at both. Oh well...we'll see how it goes...

Culture Splish Splash

After writing my post on Bandung, Singapore, and Sodankylä, one of the comments reminded me of something else that I've experienced on my trip to Indo and Singapore last October.

First of all, let me tell you our flight schedule:

Rovaniemi - Helsinki - Hong Kong - Jakarta

Jakarta - Singapore - Jakarta

Jakarta - Bangkok - Helsinki - Rovaniemi

Well, on the first leg of journey, once we landed in Hong Kong, we only had about 1,5 hours there, so we didn't have much time to browse around the stores. The minute we arrived at the airport, it felt surreal to see SO MANY Asians and especially to hear Indonesian language being spoken by many passengers boarding to Jakarta. Why? Because I was so used to hearing Finnish all the time during the 1,5 years of my life in Lapland. Arttu kept on joking, "Look, YOUR people!" LOL LOL LOL!!!

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Oh yeah, I also felt the pace of the life changing so drastically when we arrived in Hong Kong. As usual, we had to go through baggage check before we could find the boarding gate to board the plane to Jakarta. There were two baggage check points, but the aisle to queue was so narrow. I stood behind R2 and I noticed that on the other baggage check point there were two people in line already. However, the woman right behind me just couldn't wait to go there, so she said "excuse me" and bumped me a little bit to queue there.

I think I must've been so used to the Finnish mentality (or Lappish mentality?) 'coz right then and there I thought to myself, "Hello? It's not like somebody else is going to STEAL that spot, you know? Especially since the aisle is so narrow. If I were in Finland, those people queuing behind me wouldn't have done such a thing. They would've waited patiently."

Funny thing was that I think if I hadn't lived in Finland, I would've thought that it was a normal thing to do. Why? Because in Indonesia, for example, if you want to go to the toilet in one of the malls, you don't really queue according to who comes first. You just stand in front of one toilet booth and if you're lucky, you'll get in quickly. If not (maybe if the person inside the toilet in front of you is busy making "bananas"), then somebody else who comes later might be able to get in the toilet right in front of her more quickly than you do. And sometimes some people might try to steal your toilet booth, even though they come later than you do!

In Finland, NOTHING like that ever happens! If there are so many people who want to go to the toilet, you'll find a very neat line of people, so whichever toilet booth door is open first, the first person on the queue will go there. So you don't have to "fight for your toilet booth" like in Indo.

Another thing that I had to remind myself and R2 before we landed in Jakarta was TO BE ALERT. We were so used to walking around feeling safe in Lapland and we CAN'T do it in Jakarta or Bandung. We really have to remind ourselves that there are pickpockets out there and some of them are SOOOOO good at what they do that you won't even feel it.

When R2 and I were in Singapore, I found that plenty Chinese there talked to me in Chinese. And I always replied in English, whether or not they would respond in English ha ha ha ha ha...

And on our way back to Finland, when we board the flight to Helsinki, the Thai flight attendant spoke to me in THAI!!! I think she offered me Thai newspaper to read during the flight. I was flabbergasted and speechless for a while until I could finally spoke to her in English, "I don't understand."

This experience reminds me of when I was doing the training at the local tourist info office. It was sometimes DIFFICULT to find out whether or not the tourists were Finnish or not. Sometimes I made the mistake of speaking to them in the wrong language (either Finnish or English).

Funny thing was that my brain was still in "Indonesian language mode" when we were stranded for 10 hours in Bangkok airport. There were a few times when I ALMOST blurted out something in Indonesian. The thing is that Thai people resemble Indonesian people in appearance. PLUS remember that we were still SO sleepy back then, so my brain wasn't working properly.

When we were on board the plane to Helsinki, I was again transported to "Finnish land" as most of the passengers were definitely Finnish. The first and second time I flew to Finland, I didn't experience this kind of thing, since I was still in "Indonesian language and culture mode" all the time, I guess. But it's changed ever since I've lived in Lapland.

Okay, I think that's all about culture splish splash for now. It's been VERY interesting indeed he he he he he...

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Language and Its Intricacies

My spring course is starting again mid January until April, then we'll have summer break and we'll start again in autumn. I must say I'm VERY excited since I'll be meeting my friends again, especially my Brit friend MC. She's such a jolly, friendly person and she always lights up the class he he he he...

Other than that, of course I can't wait to learn more Finnishhhhhhhhh and practise it!!! A few weeks ago I was in my in-laws and I was trying to read some comic strips in the local newspaper. That day I was able to read one comic strip without the help of dictionary and I could understand the whole thing. I was SO HAPPY that I even told Arttu about it he he he he he he...This is how I felt like:

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I still remember the first few months I was here. I was making VERY slow progress in learning Finnish and I couldn't understand a thing people were saying to me. I always tried to read the newspaper or magazines in my in-laws, but I couldn't understand anything, except perhaps just a few simple words. Nowadays I can understand more words since I know more about the changes of the word forms. Even then I know I still have a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNGGGG way to go, but I'm going to CELEBRATE each new step towards understanding the language better he he he he...

One tough thing about learning a new language is this: the limited vocabulary. So, even though I can probably ask many questions (after looking up certain words that I probably don't know in the dictionary), I may not be able to understand the answers, especially if the answers are long and they use words that I don't know yet. I often experience this when I ask something to my mother-in-law and she gives me an elaborate answer. Then I'll just give her a blank look and she'll understand that I don't get it HI HI HI HI HI...and we'll both have to wait for Arttu to translate it for me ha ha ha...

Another funny incident that often happens when you learn a new language is this: you hear some words or phrases that sound FAMILIAR, yet you can't seem to remember what they mean!!! You search high and low, even in the nooks and crannies of your brain, but the meanings aren't embedded in any part of your brain yet.

This kind of experience always makes me feel like biting my finger and think REAL hard and say, "I KNOW those words, but what do they mean?" But of course it's futile since in real life...conversation goes fast...and the moment you're stuck on the words that you don't understand, you miss out on the rest he he he he he...Such is life when you don't know the native language he he he he he...

Anyway, here is a list of the exact same words in Indonesian and Finnish:

1. Tuli ---- Finnish: fire, Indonesian: deaf
2. Sama --- It has the same meaning both in Indonesian or Finnish: the same
3. Satu --- Finnish: fairy tale, Indonesian: one
4. Kita --- Finnish: mouth (of a cave), Indonesian: us
5. Lupa --- Finnish: permission, Indonesian: forget
6. Paha --- Finnish: bad, Indonesian: thigh

It's always interesting to see how different the meanings of exact same words in another language, don't you think so? The first time I learnt about "paha" (bad in Finnish), my brain always conjures up the image of a "thigh" HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...