Thursday, July 09, 2009

Death on My Mind

In this post I'd like to say my condolences to all the grieving people in the world. Death has been on my mind for the past week, not because I want to kill myself, but because of the news I heard about somebody's death.

First was the death of Cliff's brother Allen. I pray that God give him and his family comfort and strength throughout this tough time.

The second death I read about was when I clicked on a link distributed through Facebook. In that site, a woman wrote a post about her husband's death due to heart failure or heart attack or something like that. Mind you that the guy was still young. They had been married for almost TWO years only when the guy died.

The third death I read about was from my penpal. We started writing each other when I was at the uni (I think, or was it High School?). She's from Germany, but she moved to Sweden to further her studies and to be with her Swedish boyfriend. I never knew that her boyfriend was sick. She wrote me yesterday to tell me that he died six weeks ago due to incurable cancer.

There's nothing like death to shake your perspective of life and everything important in life suddenly changes. All the little things I wanted - all my dreams and goals - suddenly mattered less and less...all I want is just to spend as much quality time with my loved ones and cherish them as best as I can and just tell them that they are so precious to me.

Of course as time goes by, we tend to "forget" that death is lurking in the corner...and I'll go back to chasing my dreams and goals...until death news comes to shock my system again. It's just a natural human nature, I guess.

Anyway, if I think only of myself (being selfish), death is a welcome end to my tasks on earth. As much as I love my life on earth, but still death is like the last curtain call where I bow and hope that I have done all my tasks well before I vanish from the stage of life.

However, when I think of the loved ones I'll leave behind, I can't bear to think of their sadness and their longing. I just hope that if I'm taken first, God will prepare my loved ones to continue life after I'm gone...

When it comes to my loved ones' death...that's something I don't know what to say yet. I'll never know until or if it happens first before my own death.

Life's so fragile...reading about three people's deaths in the course of a week is enough to make me realize again that everything we have (including our life) is on a loan to us. When we die, we're not going to bring anything with us to the other side...

All of this brings me back to:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't change
Courage to change the things I can change
And wisdom to know the difference..."

May God comfort all whose hearts are in grief...


  1. First I want to thank you for the mention. This is difficult for me to deal with, as in the past 12 years I have lost three siblings and both parents.

    But it's also a reminder that we aren't guaranteed of tomorrow and we should live each day as if it's our last.

  2. Your story reminds me of what happened to my friend. I am in this pretty big support group on the 'Net. I became friends with a woman who lives in Nebraska so she's almost 1,000 miles away from me.
    Anyway, she was very happily married with her husband. They were soulmates! 6 yrs. ago, they had 2 kids and she was pregnant with the 3rd. He suddenly died of a ruptured aorta. He never got to see his last child, this happy couple never got a chance to grow old together.

    My heart breaks over that story because there are not enough couples out there that are really in love (like you & R2!). There are so many couples who just tolerate each other or are overtly hostile to each other. It's such a tragedy that this wonderful couple had to have their marriage end with his sudden, tragic death!!
    I am often amazed at how strong she is now and how well she was able to survive and carry on. It's one of the major reasons I'm proud to be her friend!!

  3. I do feel this way when I receive news of someone's unexpected death. Then I realise life isn't about chasing after money or career. The saddest part is the ones being left behind. I wasn't affected by Michael Jackson's death but when I saw his little kids grieving, I felt so terribly sad for them.

  4. 74WIXYgrad: Hi, Cliff! Yeah, it must've been very difficult for you, though I can't imagine the depth of it...anyway, may God comfort you always and give you strength...

    Vince: WOW!!! Your friend is really unbelievable. It must've been devastating, being left behind with 2 kids with another one on the way. Plus they loved each other so much, too. Gee...what an inspiration!

    Blur Ting: Yeah, I know what you mean about being sad when seeing the little kids grieving. :-((((

  5. I think any couple that is doing well and really in love is an INSPIRATION (so pat yourself on the back, Amel! hehe) b/c it doesn't happen as often as it should.

  6. Vince: THANK YOUUUUUUU!!!!!! We still have a long way to go (I hope), so may God give us the glue we need he he he...

  7. Someone died last week at the Valintatalo. I heard today that he was only 40 years old and a local. He suffered a massive Asthma attack. His little boy ran into the shop and called for help, that his daddy was blue in the face and could not breathe.

    Much like Michael Jacksons children, this poor lamb has had to witness such an awful thing. It made me sad and it also reminded me that death can come at any moment. I am older than that man by four years. I am older now (by many years) than my own father was when he died.. from a similar cause.

    It's scary.. we do tend to forget, remember, forget etc.. but that is probably just as well as we do need to enjoy life that we have too, not remain morbid.

    Mark and I celebrate 21 very happy years of marriage this week... and I thank all the time for his continued partnership. It scares me that I might lose him early...(like my Mum lost my Dad) as I love Mark so very much.

    Interesting blog Amel. Love Michelle

  8. Mrs Arctic Rainbow: Oh dear...what an incident at the Valintatalo! I can't imagine experiencing something like that when you're so young and your Dad's so young. :-(((

    Indeed it's good that we're able to forget about death (esp. the possible death of our loved ones prior to ours) so that we can enjoy life to the fullest.

    Oh had your anniversary already. CONGRATULATIONS for all the years!!! Wish you many more years to come. :-)))) I understand your fear completely...let's just hope for the best! :-)))

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