I then said to him, "If hubby doesn't love me more as time goes by (just because I haven't produced any heir for him), then it's outrageous!"
After all, we're supposed to love each other in sickness and in health, in good and bad times, right? What good is a marriage vow if the love between us is conditional? I'll love you more if you beget a child for me? That's insane! It should be "I'll love you more despite...", shouldn't it?
The conversation reminded me of an IF Discussion Guide that I read a while ago. Where does my self-worth come from? Is the fact that I'm not a mother yet decreases my self-worth? I don't think so, 'coz if that's the case then I'm doomed until the day I can call myself a mother. I refuse to think that way, thank you very much.
Anyway, just think for a moment that we lose everything that influences our self-worth: our work, our spouse, our children, our family, our pets even, our neighbours, everything. If we lose them all, do we still have our self-worth? What most influences our self-worth?
Psalm 139:14 states: ""I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are your works, and my soul knows very well."
I admit it's still hard to know with all my heart and soul every day that my self-worth should come more from God than from other things on earth, but then again if I attach a huge amount of my self-worth to those immortal things on earth (which can change in the blink of an eye), then my self-worth is oh, so fragile. I'm learning to see myself from God's eyes and it's not easy....but the other option is far worse, so I'm going to stick to this lesson step by step.