1. Jack was watching his Mom breast feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"
2. Melanie asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Said Melanie, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."
3. Steven hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so much, that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."
4. Brittany had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"
5. Susan was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."
6. James was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"
- Taken from here
7. My son came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.
He stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush, held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
8. A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room quickly burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
Taken from here
9. A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp,
"Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"
And the shopkeeper bends way down and puts his hands on his knees so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby? Or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"
She in turn puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet little voice,
"I don't fink my pyfon weally cares."