Chocolate Girl (Livingsword's wife) wants to know how I felt when coming back to Finland after our trip to Indonesia and how I feel about all the snow here.
Well, to be honest, I was HOPING that I'd get to see snow already when I landed in Rovaniemi airport. Why? Because I knew that it would be dark most of the time already and it's only going to get darker and darker (nowadays the sun rises around 8.30 am and sets around 3.15 pm so we have only around 6 hours and 40 minutes of sunshine per day, provided that the sun is shining and it's not cloudy), so having snow around would help A LOT. Thank GOD snow started to fall the day after we arrived in Finland and it kept on snowing and it didn't melt and turn to ice. I have no problem with snow, but I'm VERY afraid of icy snow!
It felt slightly weird coming back to Lapland from a tropical country, since I was used to three weeks of sunshine and heat, but it felt GOOD to be home, to have our own privacy, to be able to do anything we want without having to think of planning our schedule to meet these relatives and those friends, buying these and those, etc.
Home...mentally I've named Indonesia as my ex-home. I LOVE Indonesia, but right now my home is where R2 is. I've learnt to love Finland, but if for example God takes him away now when we have no kids and I don't know yet what kind of job I want to do here, maybe I'll go back to Indonesia since I've got family and friends there and I know what kind of job I want to do and can do there.
Life is unpredictable and I don't want to be too hard-headed in anything. There's no guarantee yet that Finland will be my home forever, but of course everything changes if there are kids already. I'd want to be there for them, at least until they're grown up and they're ready to be on their own.
Yep, these are just my ramblings about hypothetical situations. I sure hope that God gives us PLENTY more healthy years to come, especially since I haven't lived long enough with R2 in the same country or house.
All in all, I'm not missing Indonesia, except my family and friends and the glorious food. I started crying the day I was supposed to leave Bandung by bus to go to Cengkareng airport since my SIL called me from the hospital to say goodbye. She thanked me for everything and she said sorry for not being able to escort me. I started choking and I couldn't say the words I wanted to say to her for fear of crying so loudly on the phone. I didn't want to make her feel sad.
My brother managed to meet us at the mall where the bus station was to hug me goodbye. My uncle took us there since my parents have no car now, so in the car there were my uncle, my Mom, me, R2, and my Mom's elder sister. My uncle said to my Mom's elder sister that they'd better escort my Mom for fear that she'd cry. One close friend of mine also escorted me there.
When we started hugging one by one, I almost couldn't stop my tears from falling...while waiting for the bus, my SIL called again to say goodbye and I felt choked again. When I got on the bus and sat down, I started crying, though I tried to control myself so that I wouldn't sob loudly. R2 gazed into my eyes and he rubbed my arm and pat my hand. It was impossible for him to hold me due to the seats and the fact that we have backpacks right between our legs, so that was all that he could do.
After I could control myself a bit, I stood up from inside the bus to give them one last wave of goodbye...I feel SO LOVED...my whole trip in Indonesia was showered with LOVE...I'm GRATEFUL to God who've given me SO MANY loving, caring, attentive, and understanding people. I'm GRATEFUL for my relatives who care SO much for my Mom that they're always trying to make things easier for her. I LOVE THEM ALL!!!!
OK, let me stop here as I'm getting more and more emotional...
Home...let's just see where God takes me to...I'll do my best to make the most of everything He's entrusted to me this moment...