Cabin Trip: Rainbow, Crecent, Gorgeous Sunset

I haven't been blogging here 'coz I've been busy with work and I haven't really got any inspiration to write ha ha...yesterday we were planning to go to the cabin but I wasn't too sure if we were going or not 'coz it depended on whether or not R2 had to work late. Thankfully he didn't have to stay too long at work he he...so we went shopping for food and drinks first before we went there. It was raining when we arrived at around 4 pm, but we got to enjoy a rainbow!!! WOOOHOOOOOOO!!!! The temperature was around 5'C at that time. 

Here are two rainbow pics (I wanted to take a video but it was raining pretty hard at that time so my lens got wet):

Luckily about an hour later, the dark clouds went away and I saw a lovely crescent in the sky. I took some pics as the sun was setting, but the sky became even more gorgeous after the sun had gone below the horizon. Pink, orange...that was just SO breathtaking. And it wasn't too cold to stay outside to enjoy all of it he he he...I ran back inside to get my camera and take a short video clip 'coz there's no way a photo can capture the beauty of it all. 

Here's the crescent photo:

Sunset photo:

Gorgeous flaming sky photo:

Gorgeous sky video clip: 


We really enjoyed our cabin trip this time 'coz we got to be there early, so we had plenty of time to do anything. We warmed up the sauna, listened to the radio, laughed together, and just enjoyed being surrounded by nature. I even saw a few swans far far away from me, but my camera couldn't capture them clearly 'coz they were just too far away. How I wished I had a crazy zoom for my camera ha ha ha ha...but anyway, we were treated with so many beautiful views already, so no complaints there! LOL!!!

Here's one photo of the swans far awayyyyyyy from me:

Weekend Update

1. Hubby had a game night with his coworkers last night and I had an evening shift, so we couldn't meet, but he left me a lovely Post-It message. Not only that, he remembered to send me a good night SMS in between partying with his coworkers. PLUUUUUSSS when I woke up this morning, I found out that he had bought me a hamburger in the early morning at the kiosk and he left me a note to tell me about it (in case I woke up before he did). My heart just meltsssss he he he...


2. There's a piece of rather sad news about one of my regular customers. I've written a few times about a cute little girl who has taken a liking to me over the course of my working years in my current job. Anyway, the daddy came over the other day and he said that they were moving somewhere else, so he informed me just in case it was the last time we'd meet again.

I was too shocked to comment too much and there were other customers waiting in line already, so we couldn't chit-chat too long, but I'm sure gonna miss them. Mind you, I don't really "know" them. I only know the parents' names and the little girl's name and sometimes I buy her and her little sister some chocolate, but I still felt touched that he made sure to tell me about it. I still hope that they'd come back here every once in a while and that we'd meet again, though (because the grandparents live here). We shall see about that...

3. The grandpa who asked me to translate his book came over today and he bought me some flowers again!!!! BLESS HIIIIIMMMMMM!!!!! (Trying to think of any gift idea to give him on Christmas hmmmm...) :-D :-D :-D Ahhhhh...the perks of having a job like this he he he...


4. I've been enjoying the new tasks given to me at work. Funny thing was that before I knew that I was going to be given the new tasks, I had been feeling rather "stumped" already at work. I didn't want to go up in rank, but I wanted to do something else, as well. And boom...the new position (not a higher rank) with new tasks filled the need very well, even though in the beginning I was VERY nervous about whether or not I was capable enough to fulfill them. THANK YOU, Lord, for knowing my needs even before I knew what to ask!!! 

5. The other day I saw aurora borealis again thanks to my friend's message through my FB wall he he he...The temperature was only about 2-5'C. What I saw wasn't nearly as lovely as what you can see in this page: Aurora Borealis, because it was rather cloudy here in Sodankylä at that time plus I didn't wait for hours outside. Plus there were lots of street lamps all around us and they were really bothering me from enjoying the auroras fully. I really wished I had had a button where I could switch off all the neighbouring street lamps for half an hour, you know? HE HE HE HE HE...but anyway, click on the link to enjoy the BRILLIANT photos!!!

Bittersweet Tears

Before I share the post, I'd like to add a note first...this post below was posted in my IF blog, but I want to share this beautiful moment here. If anyone of you wonders why I keep writing about my IF journey and why infertility is still an important part of my life even though we've moved on and we've surrendered to life without kids, let me sum it up this way: it's like the opposite of parenting.

When you're a parent (and I'm talking about parents who're involved in their kids' lives), you're bound to think about your kids and their lives, their friends, etc. And your life's peppered with parenting thoughts and joy and problems in your kids' lives as well and their life events. Infertility is that way, too. It changes my life in ways that the arrival of kids change the life of parents. My life is peppered with infertility-related thoughts and I choose it that way. I want to learn whatever I can learn from infertility. I want to learn about my pain triggers and I want to embrace them and hug them and make them feel better. If I'm incapable of doing that, then I'll pray to God to help me heal. Mind you, this post for me isn't a sad one, but a happy one. So rejoice with me, will you? :-D

*********************************

The other day I think I had my first experience of crying with so much gratitude that my heart felt like it was going to burst mixed with some grief over the losses of a life as a non-mother. It was bittersweet. The tears didn't run too long, but it was cleansing. :-)


The triggers? 

The gratitude came from hearing positive feedback about myself from different people including from MIL. I was SO touched and thankful to be able to hear those words, but at the same time I realized how much more they meant to me because I'm not a mother. Only after I heard the words did I realize that I had actually been waiting for some confirmation that I was doing something right as a non-mom. Like I was secretly wishing that the universe would give me signs that what I was doing in the community was enough even if I could never become a mother.

The grief came much later that day while I was reading a manga series that dealt with cute little twins (a boy and a girl) that I had subscribed to (I had been reading it since ages ago and it's still not finished yet). Reading about their antics and how they grew not just in size but also in many different areas in life made me feel sad because I could never watch my own child(ren) grow. And that was when I remembered the positive feedback from all those people which counterbalanced my grief. It felt surreal. 

It was probably the first time when I cried tears of grief that didn't weigh upon my chest. Instead, the feeling of gratitude gave the grief some wings...After they held me in their embrace for a little while, off they flew, leaving me sighing contentedly.

Spooked

A few days ago we watched "The Descent" again simply because we wanted to. Or actually, I wanted to watch it again. I remember watching it a few years ago and the images were so disturbing to me that even when I was in bed already, I was in their grip. The images kept on floating in my mind that I had a hard time trying to go to sleep ha ha...To me, that's one of the signs of an awesome horror movie. Ahem. So I wanted to know if the movie managed to spook me the second time.

It was disturbing still, but not as spooky as the first time. I suppose because I knew already what would happen, but still good enough to watch again. After watching the movie, I moved to the computer room and I was sitting in front of my computer the whole time, whereas R2 was preparing himself to go to bed. While brushing his teeth, he went from the toilet to the living room and back to the toilet again and once he was done, he asked me if I had moved to the living room from the computer room. I said no. He said, "SPPOOOKKKYYY!!! I could have sworn that while I was walking from the toilet to the living room, I saw you sitting there."

Poor dear!!! I think he must've seen a shadow or something, although he was pretty sure he saw me there...hmmmm...anyway, I've been living as a night owl these days because I have more evening shifts, so I've been reading and browsing stuff online till late and then I get up super late, as well. Yesterday morning I wanted to pee, so I woke up with my eyes still closed, went to the toilet next door without switching on the light or locking the door (the door was closed but it wasn't locked) and while I was wiping myself dry, R2 went upstairs, opened the toilet door, and let out a short shout, "WOAAAAHH!" when he saw my dark figure in the dark toilet HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...

I was half asleep and half laughing with my eyes still closed. I didn't mean to spook him at all, but I just happened to be in the toilet at the perfect time to make him spooked. Sorry, honey!!!! We hugged and then I went back to sleep he he he he...
 

glitter-graphics.com

Ramblings on Guilt

Guilt has been on my mind lately. And I'm not talking about the necessary guilt - the kind of guilt we feel that will help propel us to become better people. I'm talking about unnecessary guilt. Do we feel that guilt because we feel that we're "bad" if we don't feel guilty at all? Do we feel the guilt because we've heard people say things that make us feel guilty? Do we feel guilty because we know people expect us to feel that way?

It's just that I'm reminded of this one incident where I made a mistake, though something that I didn't intentionally do. I didn't even know I was making the mistake at the time of the incident. I only found out about it later and the only thing I can do is just try to do better next time. And then someone made a comment that made me think, "Am I supposed to feel guilty about this?" I was sorry for making a mistake, but I wasn't actually feeling any guilt until I heard the comment. But then I started thinking...I've promised myself to do better next time, do I have to carry this guilt around as well? I refuse to do so.

But that incident made me think...did the guilt come slithering out only because I felt I was a "bad" person if I didn't feel any guilt at all? Hmmm...I'm going nowhere, I know he he he he...

Anyway, I shall leave you with this sublime video clip of The Piano Guys: Happy Together.
 

The Flu Season Has Arrived

I've noticed from my FB feed that it's that time of the year again, but I hope I can avoid the bugs even though I've contracted a little bit of cough. I sure don't want to be sick! I've been trying to get enough sleep whenever I have days off (especially then) and I've been taking multivitamins as well. The weather has been exceptionally warm still considering the fact that it's already halfway through September. A friend who lives in Holland told me the other day that there was hail and even a snow flurry over there, even though the lowest temperature was still 7'C. I sure do hope that we're going to have a white Christmas here because otherwise it's gonna be SO VERY DARK then. *crossing my fingers*

Oh, one friend who lived here for a while is planning to visit us again around Christmas. I sure hope I can schedule my work shifts in such a way so that we'll be able to spend time together. Otherwise it'd be such a shame because she and her boyfriend will be here only for a few days. Let's just hope we can meet again. I can't wait!!! :-D

Anyway, last weekend we had a relaxing weekend with MIL in Kelujärvi and after sauna the half moon was hanging low in the sky. I've never seen the moon hanging so low in Indonesia. Here are two versions of the photo:

For some reason I have no inspiration to write anything else ha ha ha ha...The trees are getting barer and barer. During the weekend we managed to rake some leaves and we compiled already 3-4 sacks of dead leaves,but now our yard is covered by them again. Before I had my own yard, I never knew that raking leaves after the rain was TOUGH, but it was also tough when it was too windy outside ha ha ha ha ha...The best time to rake the leaves is when it's been dry outside, but there's not much wind, so the leaves aren't stuck to the ground.

OK, over and out...about to drink my orange ginger tea because I've been sneezing he he he...Stay healthy, people!

3BT: Random Days

1. Every now and then I tease hubby like this:

Me: "Honeeeeyyyyyy..."
R2: "What?"
Me: "I have something important to tell you." (serious face)
R2: "Yeeeess?"
Me: "I have to poo."  

ROFL ROFL ROFL...

2. Went to a store today and found kiddies shirt on a discount. Bought two exact same kinds for Ken and his brother (because we're going to visit them next year). I LOVE LOVE LOVE collecting gifts for family bit by bit HE HE HE HE HE HE...

3. Raking the autumn leaves in the yard for about an hour and then took these pics.

4. Finding a forum for childless-by-circumstance women and I've enjoyed it immensely. :-D

5. Saying no without feeling guilty.

6. A coworker asked me how old I was and she said I looked younger than that HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHHHHH...

7. Being able to save more money this month (need to save money to buy our tickets to Indo next year). HALLELUJAHHHHHH!!!

Hot Autumn Days

We went to the cabin in Kelujärvi again on Friday. It was such a dark and cloudy day and there were very strong gusts of wind. The temperature was around 15'C. The next morning I woke up at around 9.30 am and it was still cloudy and rather dark, though half an hour later the sky cleared up and the sun was shining so brightly. It even went up to 20'C for a few hours with very little wind (the thermometer pic at the bottom of this post showed a higher number 'coz the sun was shining directly to its sensor). 

Then the temperature cooled down a little (it got windier) and it was already down to 14'C by the time we got back home. But still it was HOT considering it's already September in Lapland and we could sunbathe without wearing any jackets. AMAZING!!! It's gonna be interesting to see how our winter will be like this year. I sure hope it won't get too warm - otherwise we won't have a white Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyhow, here are some pics I took yesterday. Because the weather was so good, I decided to walk to the bridge in Kelujärvi. I love walking there because the place is always so empty. There are never much traffic and I can just be on my own, basking in the beauty of autumn sceneries he he...

I hope you've all had a beautiful weekend as well!

Bulgaria Video Clips

As promised, the video clips from our trip in Bulgaria. They're all taken in Nesebar from different areas. The third one was taken mostly to show how loud the seagulls were ha ha ha...Anyway, have a blessed weekend, people!

Bulgarian Trip #2: Nesebar

We visited the ancient town of Nesebar twice during our holiday in Bulgaria. It reminded me a little of the old town in Rhodes, with all the little cafes, souvenir shops, and restaurants as well as some churches or relics of churches all in one place. One big difference is that there are LOTS and LOTS of seagulls in the area and they can be really loud ha ha ha...Oh, and there are some inns or hotels in the area, whereas I don't think I've seen any in the old town in Rhodes. I'm gonna share some videos later on, but for the time being here are some pics.

Arttu in front of one of the churches (relics) in Nesebar. 

We were sitting in the cafe across this photo below when I saw this granny on the second floor and then I started wondering how on earth she could get there and I thought this was rather dangerous, don't you think??? The other photo was to show you how it looked like from my POV.

Another relics found in the old town. The second time we went there, we went to a cafe overlooking this view.

Here's a pic of me eating some cake in the cafe overlooking the above pic. Yummy!!! Too bad I'm not a beer drinker. Beer costs cheaper than juice ha ha...

Some other random views around Nesebar area...

SEAFOOD!!!! Yummy fresh seafood! :-D And yeah, Arttu wanted to have his dose of pizza (naturally!).

Souvenir shops. SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!!!!

Some more random pics...

Okay, I'm gonna go upload the videos and I'll share them later when I have more time. Been busy and stressed up with my new tasks at work last weekend that only now I have time to "breathe".