Saturday, May 03, 2008

Somewhere in Time Part 3

A 27-year-old guy is dating a 38-year-old woman with four kids. The eldest is staying with her Dad, so the girlfriend is left with three younger children. The guy confesses that he doesn't really love the girlfriend, since he's still in love with his ex-girlfriend. His honesty is really...surprising, fascinating, raw, and somewhat melancholic.

He keeps the photos of the girlfriend's kids in his wallet, yet he refuses to put hers there. He says he doesn't want to do it. He still keeps a picture of himself with his ex-girlfriend, though.

What made them get together? Surely she was old enough to know that the guy probably didn't love her. Or maybe she didn't care about love anymore? Maybe she thinks, "Why not?" And what about him? Maybe he thinks that he can grow to love her over time?

A friend of mine once had a relationship just because they thought it'd help get over their lost loves. Did it work? Unfortunately not. They had been very good friends for many years, and then out of the spur of the moment, they decided to try having a relationship after experiencing broken hearts. After their break-up, their friendship became somewhat strained for a while, but thankfully it's now back to normal again. At least that's what I last heard about them.

I once heard a friend of mine saying that she actually would have loved to have some more love relationships prior before she decided to marry a guy. (Un)fortunately she met the man of her life right away and didn't have the chance to experience different types of relationships with other guys. One relationship was all it took for her to be a bride.

I've also seen some people getting tired of trying to start a new relationship due to many or some failed relationships. The trauma is too deep to bear after they had given so much time, effort, and love in their prior relationships. They start to wonder if there are really decent partners-to-be left in the world for them to find.

Personally speaking, I think it's good to be able to experience one or two love relationships prior to marrying someone as long as the broken relationships don't traumatize you into trying all over again. But even if you don't, it's just as well as long as you find the right one for you. After all, starting all over again is tiring.

Life is very intriguing. The choices people make, the paths they take, the risks they dare take or daren't take. Don't we all sometimes choose the wrong thing to do, even though we know fully well that it's wrong? I know I do, especially since I'm such a stubborn person.

However, no matter what, I still believe that it's much better to love and lost than never to have loved at all...


  1. Do you believe in Soulmate? If someone fate to be together, it will come.... we don't know when and how.... Maybe failed in some relationship were the way to find the soulmate... that's what i think :)

  2. Jeanne: Yes, I do believe in soulmates. But then again, if you're too afraid to be hurt, you might not get a chance to find your soulmate...or if you become a Pastor, then you choose not to meet your soulmate.

    BUT I also believe in same sex soulmates...they don't have to be destined to be your spouses, but they're still soulmates. ;-D