A Loner's Notes

When my hubby went to the bars with me and his brothers last Friday, we met my hubby's boss' wife in one of them. She tried talking to me in broken English, which again I appreciated. ;-D

There was just one thing that bothered me a bit. She asked me if I had found friends here. I told her that I had found a British family nearby. I asked my hubby to explain to her where the British family lived (30 minutes away on foot). She then said, "Oh, but that's so far away. Do you have friends here in Sodankylä?" I said no. She said again, "You've been here months but you haven't had any friends yet?" I nodded.

I began to feel confused why she made it seem like it was such a big deal. Finally after a short break in the conversation, she said, "So you love being home, right?" I said yes again. She said again, "Because you just have to love being home." I nodded again.

Even back in Indo, when I was working from home as a translator (read: meaning I didn't get to see many people, not even my boss, who lives in Jakarta!), some relatives and neighbours would show their concern over my "preferred isolation."

Hey, I'm HAPPY with my life!!! What's a loner got to do with all those people out there? I don't need to crowd out my life with so many people that would obviously overwhelm me in the end.

I know that knowing LOTS of people has its own advantages. Just look at my Mom who knows SO many people and she can strike up a conversation ANYWHERE, ANYTIME of day. I'm not her. I'm not an outgoing person and I don't prefer to be one. I know all those people mean well. However, I just hope they know that there ARE people like me in this world. There are people like me who are content being alone every now and then (or most of the time) who prefer an indirect communication with the world. It's a bit frustrating sometimes, trying to make people understand that the mainstream is NOT the only "satisfactory option" in life.

And I don't know why I'm writing this down. I guess I just want to let out some steam he he he...

Here's something I wrote the other night (a sudden inspiration):

The lessons that you have to learn will come to you. They will knock at your door over and over again until you invite them in. If you are too stubborn to hear, though, they might just barrage in, stampede you, and knock you off senseless. Sometimes only then will you regain consciousness and understand what life is trying to teach you. Sometimes they may come again in various forms so you can obtain a deeper kind of understanding and a bigger perspective of things.