Sunday, October 21, 2007

Paradigm Shift

Karen wrote a post about paradigm shift (click on the link to read it) and I had to think for a few days before I finally found the answers.

My first breakthrough in paradigm shift happened during my teenage years, after I read Norman Vincent Peale's book entitled "The Power of Positive Thinking". Before reading the book, I had always been such a sensitive child. I carried score cards of people's wrongdoings (this is still a weakness I have yet to master, but I'm not as bad anymore). I've always been blessed with a good memory chip in my brain, so it is HARD for me to forget, especially if I feel that somebody's hurt me even though that person didn't mean to do it. I had been carrying balls and chains of score cards that hurt me so much for years before I found this book. Only after I found this book did I realize how stupid I was.

Back then I always justified my feelings 'coz after all, I DID feel all those churning emotions inside me and I couldn't deny those feelings. The book taught me that I shouldn't be the prisoner of my thoughts and we're in charge of our emotions. I had let my environment and other people and outside factors to dictate my emotion and that was wrong. The book showed me a better way to live. ;-D

While reading the book, the idea that struck me the most was this: "When there's a negative thought popping out, counter it with one positive thought. There's ALWAYS a positive side of everything." At first I was skeptical. Yeah, call me daft 'coz I couldn't figure it out myself hi hi hi hi...but I'm always THANKFUL for having found that book. I'm GRATEFUL to Mr. Norman Vincent Peale for having written that book. It really struck my core and changed my world completely. I used to thrive on cynicism. I even used cynicism to be funny 'coz my other friends are more naturally funnier than me, so I thought that being cynically funny would make me be "equally" funny. I realized that it wasn't really good, 'coz even though I made jokes, cynicism is still cynicism. It's still a negative force that's dangerous for me.

Anyway, even though I was skeptical, I decided to "try out" Mr. Peale's magic trick. First time it worked. Second time it got better. My mood got better in a faster period of time. Then as I kept on applying that trick, it got easier and easier for me to add more and more positive thoughts to counter the bad one. If you had known me back then during my teenage years, you'd probably be surprised he he he he...So I think this is my very first HUGE paradigm shift as it affected so many other aspects of my life. ;-D

Side note: I don't care what some people say about Norman Vincent Peale's book. Some say that his theories aren't good, but hey, I'm living proof that they DO work he he he he...

The second BIG breakthrough in paradigm shift happened a few years ago when I learnt to surrender to God completely. My close friends had already told me to do this over and over again, but I could only apply it in my life after I found HUGE stumbling blocks where I could do nothing else but to surrender to Him and trust Him completely. THANK GOD for stumbling blocks he he he he... ----> I think this proves that if the student's not ready, no matter how many teachers there are to help him/her and no matter how GREAT the teachers are, the lessons won't be too effectively absorbed by the student. He or she will still NOT get it!!!

One reason why I was reluctant in surrendering to Him completely was because I had known some people who surrendered completely to God without doing their parts. I was always wondering whether I had done enough to be able to surrender completely to God. Where's the line between surrendering to God and doing my part? I was always so confused.

However, after some time, I realize that I was wrong in thinking that way. I should've learnt to surrender to Him COMPLETELY anytime even while I was doing the best that I could. It doesn't matter where the line is as long as I do my part with the best of ability that I can and surrendering to Him completely at the same time. It doesn't have to be an "either - or" situation, but they should go together side by side. (Pssstt...I think I was also a bit of a control freak 'coz I was afraid of letting go of the steering wheel and surrendering to God - which was ironic 'coz logically speaking, it was sillier to trust myself than God!!! But that was me he he he he...)

I'm still a beginner in this area, but at least I think it's starting to get easier for me to surrender to Him completely. Finally my thick head understands that even though I feel as though I had my life in control, it's actually an illusion. God can let ANYTHING happen to me to assure my surrendering to Him completely. Thus in essence, it's still better to surrender to Him all the way through my life anyway rather than feeling "in control of everything".

Anyway, in the post, Karen asked if the readers are happy with the current state they are in. I can say that I am happy with my life right now, but I'm gonna enjoy the journeys through life. I may learn the same lessons over and over again - hopefully in deeper, wider, and more solid ways instead of forgetting them and I will surely learn new ones over the years. I think everybody has his/her own latent enemies, so do I. That's why I won't be content just staying "here", 'coz I agree with what they say: there's always room for improvement. *wink*


  1. Wow, I'm really happy for you... that you have made a tremendous change to your life. I think it's not just the book but the reader (you) was willing to make that change. It's your determination that made the difference. Well done!

  2. Blur Ting: Yeah, you're quite right about that, too. Once I realized that I felt better by applying his theories, I got hooked he he he he he he he...THANKS for your encouragement, Blur! ;-D

  3. I lived hating myself most of my life. Everything bad that happened to me I thought was because I was born under a dark cloud. I thought any good that happened would for sure be crushed by something horrible.

    I was wrong. For the 1st time in my life, I am not depressed. I do believe in God and that has allowed me to believe in myself.

    I will admit my life is lonely right now but even so...I am somehow happy:)

    Stay positive and love yourself because you deserve your own love!

  4. Hi, Bobby!

    THANKS for sharing your innermost self. I'm HAPPY that you're not depressed and that you believe in God AND yourself. :-))))

    Yup, I will try my best to stay positive and love myself. Moving to Finland's given me the challenge to love myself despite myself even more than if I had stayed back in Indo. ;-D


  5. Another enlightening post from my good Buddy!!

    Reading your blog is a joy to me!! Keep it up. You fan base is growing!

  6. Hi, Karen!

    Glad you enjoyed it. It took me a while before I could answer your questions he he he...I LOVE such questions 'coz I LOVE probing deep in my mind. ;-D

  7. there's a technorati link train at my blog!

    you can join it here!


  8. Hi Amel...

    I for one think you are a living testament to the truth of thinking positively!

    You have such a bright and sunny and optimistic sense of life!

    It is fabulous!


  9. Jay: THANKS, Jay! I'll check it out! ;-D

    Jennifer: THANK YOU for your kind words!!! It's nice to get affirmation from others 'coz it's hard to gauge my own self objectively he he he...

  10. Hi Amel;

    I loved this article; I believe that you are speaking for a LOT of people out there who are very similar.

    My wife and I often get asked how we can possibly be so happy together. Everybody has heard that you must communicate, but of course communication is worthless if neither person is willing to compromise on the vast majority of things that really are not important.

    The more important issue we have found is to forgive and forget, move on. We never keep score, we forgive and then it is as if the issue never came up. We never go to bed angry. When a person keeps score everybody loses! If people don’t keep score everybody wins. We ALL need forgiveness.

    I love your words about “stumbling blocks”, how very true. It seems that sometimes God has to use some pretty big stumbling blocks out there to get peoples attention. Nobody likes to suffer but often that is when He is “turning up the volume”, there would be no need to turn up the volume if we would just listen for His whispers.

    The more you interact with God the more the relationship grows.

  11. Hi, LS!

    That's SO true...effective communication is worthless without forgiveness, 'coz humans will disappoint one another no matter what, even when they don't mean to do it.

    I still have A LOT to learn about not keeping score cards, though. Every now and then I don't realize that I still keep score cards...and only then I throw them out. But lately mostly it's my "expectation" score cards instead of other people's wrongdoings.

    Yep, that's also true about God's whispers. If only we listened he he he...

    Yeah, I'm making one little step at a time to grow here. THANKS for sharing and for encouraging me! ;-D