Friday, July 02, 2010

A Short Reflection

It's kinda ironic to know that some people are oblivious as to why their adult kids won't visit them more often. They get upset 'coz of this, even though from my eyes it's very clear why the kids are reluctant to visit them. It's maybe because the atmosphere in the house isn't really inviting for the adult kids to WANT to visit them often. Or maybe the parents are too involved in the kids' lives (whenever they meet, the kids are always told what to do with certain areas in life, etc.). Or the parent keeps on yapping whenever they meet or there can be many numerous other reasons.

In the end, unfortunately, the vicious cycle continues...the upset parent (or parents) complains when the adult kids do visit and says something like this, "Ah, we've got a long lost visitor (insinuating that now they've become "strangers", so to speak)." After hearing that over and over again, the kids feel less and less desire to visit the parents...and it only gets worse and worse.

It's human nature, I guess. It's MUCH easier to put the blame on someone else rather than look in the mirror at yourself and see what's wrong with yourself that may be causing the distance between you and your own kids.


  1. Man! That described very well the relationship between hubby and his parents. :o
    Exactly..we become reluctant to visit his parents becoz his mum is too involved in our lives and often she insults us and we are still deeply, emotionally wounded becoz of her words. :(

  2. Duh..sedih yach kalo ada ortu yg kayak gitu. Untungnya ortu and mertua gw gak kayak gitu. Thank God! =)

  3. Henny: Oh gitu toh...iya kalo gitu ngertilah kenapa males berkunjung...susahnya kalo orangnya sendiri ga ngerasa dan ga ngerti, malah menuding dan nyindir2 ga puguh...jrot jrot...

    Shinta: Iya gua udah liat bbrp kasus kaya gini tuh...iya, THANK GOD bener for wonderful parents and in-laws kalo emang dapet yang begitu. :-D

  4. Henny: Eh tapi gua takjub sih kok orang sini ada mamanya masih kaya gitu yah??? Gua pikir orang2 sini nyokap2nya lebih cuek gitu ama kehidupan anak2nya.

  5. Nah, itu dia, aja heran koq. Tadinya gw kira cuma mama2nya org asia doank yg bisa reseh kayak gitu, eh..ternyata org sini jg, malah lebih parah. :o
    My mum aja, yah..biar dia kadang 'aneh' gitu, tapi ga pernah lho dia tuh mo ngurusin rumah tangga qta. Setidaknya, I can thank God for my parents. :D

  6. It's the BLAME and GUILT that make human relationships so hard. I cannot understand why there is so much need to put blame and guilt on others... Doesn't everybody know that nobody wants that? Any self-respecting person is bound to stay away if they are accused of something all the time.

  7. Henny: Kalo gitu emang dia tipe wanita yang seperti itu kali yah, walaupun bule...iya, ember, at least ortu loe kaga ikut campur urusan RT loe. :-D

    Rita: Yeah, what you said is COMPLETELY true. Sometimes I wonder why it's so hard to understand that, but well...all I can do is try not to be that kind of person as best as I can.