Wednesday, August 01, 2007

On Being Vulnerable

After reading Shan's latest post entitled "Disillusionment", I began to wonder about vulnerability. A thought came to my mind: humans actually yearn to be vulnerable as that's the only way for them to let someone accept them as who they really are. They want to be accepted that much. So even though it hurts like hell to be betrayed, yet the basic concept of trust is in allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, isn't it?

So I browsed through the topic and here's what I find...

Let me quote what Sharon Ellison wrote: (click on the link to read the entire article)

There is a power in honesty, and we lose it when we hide.
Showing our vulnerability is the segue to that power.

Our power to build trust is fueled by our ability to express ourselves openly even when trust is damaged.

Let me also quote how Rod Louden define vulnerability:

1. A state of being that allows learning to take place: I learned from my emotional pain.
2. A gift that allows you to touch your soul and create meaningful human contact.
3. A mechanism that allows one to grow via self-examination and exploration.

I shall not write anything more about this topic, but I'd love to end this post with this quote:

It is our choices…that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
J.K. Rowling (taken from Daily Celebration)


  1. Hi Amel,

    I read Shan's post: and I must confess I extended myself a bit on my comment! Although the pain was evident, the depth of his thoughts was amazing!
    I consider myself an honest person, however I had to learn how to be less honest, direct, frontal. Why? Because people, in general, don't like to be told the truth. Therefore, I learned to walk on the diplomatic path! Few are the ones who can take the whole truth!

    Vulnerability: I don't know the meaning of it! I do not put myself in that position.
    As I told Shan, I only had one disillusionment in my life (a serious one, I mean; cause the others were considered part of life, part of the process of growing up); and it hurt (I guess) but I learned from it and moved on...! The more one lingers on sad events, the more one is exposed and attracts more sad events!

    About trust: well, I believe in the pole, if there's trust there must be mistrust! I believe that eventually everybody will be betrayed at some point of their lives. However what we need to do is to learn from that experience and next time look for the signs: there are always signs!
    I am against that thought "I was hurt/betrayed, now I won't trust people anymore!"; NOOOOO...give people a chance, trust them! But if you see that big sign over their for your life!

    Nice quote...although I am not sure if I totally agree with it: I have to give it more thought!!


  2. Hi again, Max!!! Yep, I agree on being diplomatic. When it comes to being honest in this post, I'm referring to being honest in an intimate relationship.

    When it comes to being're vulnerable when you love someone, don't you agree? That person might not love you back and that person's in the position of "disappointing" you every now and then and that person might betray you (God forbid!!!). Other example: you're also vulnerable when you're open to someone else, as that person may share your intimate details with someone else or use that information for his/her own benefit or something.

    Yes, I also agree in having to beware of certain people that show "suspicious" signs. God gives us instinct or whatever-you-may-call-it so that you may know danger. The "instinct" may come to you after you experience something bad or it may be ingrained in you or it may come after you observe your surroundings.

    I believe in that quote 'coz I think that even if we're able to do many things, it's still our choices that show our true colours...People may know lots of religious theories and they may be SO intelligent and talented, but that doesn't mean that they always make the right choices, don't you think so?

  3. Powerful post and as one who knows this to be so very true....I am really impressed at the grace and ease in which you explained it. Now I too must go seek out Shan's site. Lovely share amel thank you so much...~Jackie

  4. Wonderful post! And definately something to mull over. Vulnerability is a hard thing for me to accept, yet there it is and it is what attracts me to people - seeing their 'cracks' which is really just another definition of humanity, isn't it?

  5. Jackie: UR welcome. THX for your kind words. :-)))

    Vic: You're SO right about "cracks" and humanity. Being vulnerable isn't always nice, but I think it's what draws us truly closer to one another he he he...

  6. Hmmm, looking through your archives made me stumble across this... Never saw it before...

    But how nice, how very nice.

    Indeed, being honest is a precious thing but to be betrayed is a painful thing.

    The quotes are absolutely right in that we undergo self growth and examination.

    The conclusion I came to is that for the foreseeable future, I am not prepared to give my trust to anyone. However, I will not hurt anyone either because I have been hurt as that will lower my own standards.

    In time, perhaps I will give my trust.

    The important thing is that whatever choice I make is whether to give my trust or not, I will never betray another person.

  7. Shan: Yeah, just take life one step at a time. When you're ready to trust, you will do it again.

    And yes, what matters as much as being able to trust someone is also not to betray someone's trust in us. EXCELLENT point! ;-D