Thursday, August 09, 2007

Random Thoughts

1. On Compliments.

How important is the role of a compliment in our lives, I wonder?

In Indonesia, people are supposed to be "falsely humble" when they receive a compliment. For example, if someone admires your house and compliments it, you're "supposed to" say something like this, "Ahhhh...not really. This's just a regular kind of house." After moving here, I feel the cultural shift. People are more open to giving and receiving compliments just like that.

Another thing I want to point out is: how well do we receive compliments? Sometimes we feel we aren't entitled to some kind of compliment so that we shrug if off instead of sincerely receiving it.

Another funny thing about a compliment is that if someone that has a higher rank than yourself gives you a compliment that you feel you don't deserve (yet), you may feel the pressure to prove yourself to that person (especially if it happens in a working environment). Or you may feel afraid that you'd disappoint them.

I have to say that there were times I felt some people valued me too highly and it made me feel awkward. I began to feel afraid I would disappoint them and I began to feel tensed whenever I talked to them. I know they meant well by giving me compliments, yet it became like a big burden on my back. Ironic, isn't it? Because I think we DO need compliments.

It feels WONDERFUL to know that someone out there appreciates us, appreciates what we've been doing. We need compliments to validate how good we've been playing our roles on earth. On the other hand, if we don't feel that we're entitled to get the compliments, then the effect of the compliment may be nullified.

2. On Blogging.

One thing I find SO relieving and awesome about the blogosphere is the degree of open-mindedness of fellow bloggers. Back in Indo, you're "expected" to hide all the taboo things (that's if you don't want to be judged). Here in the blogosphere, I find that they don't judge you for being humans. I know that there are some stories of my life that I'll probably never write in my blog since I'm afraid that Indo people might read them and then judge me. I know it's silly, but it's hard to get that out of my system. I know what Indo people are capable of doing (I'm not saying that ALL Indo are like this, OK? But the mindset of many Indo people are STILL like that), so I prefer to stay safe.

Back to the topic. The other day I told my closest friends how HAPPY I was with blogging. I told them that it was enough for me to have blog friends and I couldn't understand why some people were worried about my lifestyle (read: my being a bit of a loner). One of them said, "I can understand how SATISFYING it is to have a blogging community. However, lots of outgoing people who've never tried blogging will think that you're missing A LOT from life by spending lots of time alone or in the blogosphere. They don't understand that you find the lot that they think you're missing IN AND FROM the blogosphere."

I nodded when I read those words. SO true!!! I guess not everybody understands how therapeutic and rewarding blogging is and they thought that I was missing A LOT from life. Ahhhh...the joy of understanding something new from another point of view he he he he...

OK, enough babbling. Time to enjoy the sun again. I'm going to try to make brownies tomorrow, I think. *crossing my fingers*


  1. Indonesia must be a hard place to live. I hear Finland is beautiful. I love the blogsphere too although I have found myself to be more content to blog then go out lately but I have also been deciding who are friends important enough to keep and those who I need to let go. I would love to blog with you. You sound like an interesting woman

  2. Happy Blogging :) And I hope your brownies turn out good :)

  3. "One thing I find SO relieving and awesome about the blogosphere is the degree of open-mindedness of fellow bloggers"

    That's so true Amel, that's what I love about the blogosphere. The fact that you can be anonymous allows many people to be a lot more honest about things than they necessarily would be in person.

    I think that helps readers who may feel that they are alone in having a particular experience until they read on a blog that someone else has felt the same way too. It's fabulous!!

  4. I think role of paying compliments has its own place in every society.Sometimes it does wonders in boosting the self esteem of another person....provided it is a compliment and not a flattery.
    Blogsphere is a wonderful place where one can interact and share knowledge with others.
    A good post.
    Thanks Amel's Realm for your thoughtful comments on my posts.
    My best wishes.

  5. Amel, I always enjoy reading your blog and my compliment to you is genuine! You're insightful and witty, and I'm glad you're part of the community. :)

  6. Dawn: THX for leaving your comment. ;-))) Indonesia is my home country so I guess I'm used to it. It's harder to live someplace where you know nothing much about. I agree with you about friends: there are friends who sometimes we need to let go. THX for your compliment. ;-))) I'll check out your blog later.

    Mother Hen: I actually made the brownies yesterday and they tasted GREAT, thanks!!! I think they were a bit too sweet but hubby loved them the way they were ha ha ha...

    Fish: When I first started blogging and wrote about some very personal experiences, I was a tad worried about what other bloggers might think, but they proved to be SO open-minded. It DOES feel SO good to be open and not being judged, eh? ;-D

    And you're SO right. It IS fabulous when you know that you're not alone when facing something tough. Amazing! ;-D

    Surjit: Ah, yeah, you're right about flattery versus compliment. THX for your two cents. ;-D

    Barb: THANK YOU for your compliment. ;-D Your blog is also INCREDIBLY witty and interesting even though I don't always comment on the posts he he he...but I admire your ability to analyse. Top-notch!!!

  7. Yum! Brownies!!

    I'm glad you found blogging as an outlet, and God bless open-minded people out there in the wide world, no?

  8. Hey, Vic!

    YESSSSSS! GOD BLESS THEM more and more! Cheers to all of them! ;-D